Thanks to those of you who read A'Camping We Will Go! Hope you enjoy this fic, too. :)
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
One morning, as Tony Stark left his room to get some breakfast, he heard a strange noise coming from the kitchen. It sounded like people speaking in low voices, and then giving way to shushes and commands to be quiet. Confused, Tony entered the kitchen.
Steve, Clint, and Natasha looked up guiltily from where they sat close to one another at the table. Their faced relaxed into expressions of relief when they saw Tony.
"Oh, good, it's just you," Clint said in relief.
"Just me?" Tony said, offended. "You do realize this is Iron Man you're talking to, right?"
"Relax, we thought you were Bruce," Steve explained.
"Clint tell us it's Bruce's birthday today," Natasha added. "We're planning a surprise party for him."
Tony pretended to pout. "Why didn't I get a surprise party?"
Natasha rolled her eyes. "Please. It kind of ruins the 'surprise' part when the guest of honor arranges the party for himself."
"Fair point," said Tony, sitting down next to her. "So what do we have planned?"
"A surprise after-dinner party; decorations in the main room, cake, ice cream, presents," Clint said.
"Do we have presents for him?" Tony asked.
"We're picking some up today since Birdbrain here forgot to tell us earlier," Natasha said, elbowing Clint in the ribs.
"Sorry, I thought his birthday wasn't till Friday!" Clint defended himself. "I just remembered this morning that it's today."
"Anyway, about the decorations. I think I can do that part," Steve spoke up.
"Well, if you're decorating the main room, we have to figure out a way to keep Bruce out of the house," Clint pointed out.
"Leave that to me," Tony volunteered. "I've got a few tricks up my sleeve in the Distraction Department."
"Great, now we also need someone to go shopping and pick up gifts for Bruce, plus ice cream and cake," Clint went on.
Natasha said, "What! No, we are not buying him a cake! We are going to make him one. He probably hasn't had one homemade in years!"
"And who's going to make the cake? You?" Steve asked.
"Of course. Do you doubt my cake-baking abilities?"
"Hold up," said Tony. "If I'm babysitting the big guy, Steve's decorating, and Natasha's baking a cake, that leaves Clint to go shopping. And you all know what happened the last time we let Clint go shopping alone."
"That was not my fault," Clint said heatedly. "The grocery list was confusing, so I just thought-"
"That if you bought one of everything in the store, you could be sure you had everything on the list, we know," Tony said. "Anyway, the point is, you can't go shopping. So! Natasha can't decorate because she has to drag a ladder around to reach the door frames. So, Clint decorates, Natasha shops, and Steve bakes the cake."
"What!"
"Relax, Steve, you'll be fine," said Clint. "I'll lend you 'Baking for Dummies.'"
"Sounds perfect, since I'll be baking for dummies," Steve retorted.
"Does Clint want to explain why he owns a book called 'Baking for Dummies?" Natasha said pointedly.
"If I remember right, you gave it to me when you were done with it," Clint teased.
"What kind of cake am I making?" Steve sounded resigned to his fate.
"Strawberry," Tony suggested. "I'll have Jarvis find a recipe."
"Yeah, do that, and I'll make my shopping list based on the ingredients," said Natasha. "So: ice cream, cake ingredients, presents. Anything else I'm getting?"
"Decorations," said Clint. "And wrapping paper."
"Don't be ridiculous, I have tons of those things," said Tony.
"Oh, that's right, I forgot. This is Mr. Life of the Party I'm talking to."
"Last thing: Everyone has to act like we don't know it's Bruce's birthday, because that will make the surprise even bigger. And remember not to talk about any of this around him. Especially you, Tony," said Natasha.
"What? Are you implying that I'm bad at keeping secrets?"
"Something along those lines." Natasha sounded pleased that he'd caught on so quickly.
"So, to sum up," said Steve. "After breakfast, Tony finds a recipe for strawberry cake and shows Natasha, who goes to pick up the ingredients. Then Tony shows Clint where the decorations are and Clint gets started on the decorating. Then Tony takes Bruce out somewhere to keep him out from underfoot. Sound good?"
"Sounds like a lot of work for me," Tony complained.
"Relax, Tony. I'll lend you "Multitasking for Dummies," Clint said.
"Shh, guys! Someone's coming!" Natasha hissed.
A minute later, Bruce walked into the kitchen.
"Hey, guys," he said, opening the fridge and pulling out a gallon of milk.
"Hey, Bruce," the others greeted him.
"I can't believe you haven't started eating yet," Bruce commented.
"Well, we've been… busy," Steve fumbled.
"Really? With what?" Bruce opened a cabinet and got out a glass.
"Stuff," Clint said lamely.
"Hey, by the way, happy—" Tony's words ended in a grunt of pain. The others didn't see what happened, but Natasha was sitting next to him, and based on the carefully arranged look of serenity on her face, it seemed likely that she had stomped on his foot under the table.
Bruce was looking from Natasha to Tony is bewilderment, and seemed about to ask a question, but at that moment, Tony's bodyguard, Happy Hogan, stuck his head into the room. "You called, boss?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah." Tony looked relieved. "I just wanted to ask you, um, is Pepper up yet?"
"Nope. But I'll tell you when she is."
"Okay, thanks," Tony said as Happy left the room. He cleared his throat. "So… what are your plans for the day, Bruce?"
"Well, I'm volunteering at that animal shelter down on 39th this month, so I thought I'd head down there after breakfast," Bruce said.
Clint looked genuinely sympathetic. "Wow, you have to work on—" he stopped suddenly, looking confused. The others glared at him.
"On what?" asked Bruce.
"On… a Wednesday," Clint finished slowly.
"Oh. Well, of course," said Bruce in confusion.
"What time are you done there, Bruce?" Tony asked to cover up Clint's mistake.
"Around one. Why do you ask?"
"Well, I was wondering if you would meet me downtown for lunch when you get off," Tony said.
Bruce looked surprised. "Sure thing," he replied. "Where were you thinking about going?"
"How about that new Chinese place on Main Street?" Tony suggested, thinking fast.
"I'll be there," said Bruce.
The others looked impressed. That was Bruce out of the way for another hour or so.
Just then, Pepper walked in. Ever perceptive, she quickly caught on to the strange mood in the room.
"Wow, guys, what's up?" she asked in concern.
"Up? What do you mean, up?" Tony asked, frantically trying to catch her eye and make a signal at her. Steve coughed loudly to get her attention.
Oblivious to their efforts, Pepper calmly poured herself a glass of milk. "I dunno, you all just seem so quiet. Secretive, almost. Is something the matter?"
Steve coughed again, louder.
Pepper patted him on the back. "You really should try Mucinex, Steve. That's what I use when my allergies get bad."
"What are you allergic to?" Steve asked, trying to change the subject.
"Strawberries," Pepper said brightly. She sat down next to Steve. "What's for breakfast?"
"Well, these guys have apparently been up to 'stuff' this morning, so nothing yet," Bruce told her with a smile.
"'Stuff?' What kind of 'stuff?'" Pepper asked curiously.
Tony cleared his throat. "Um, Pepper? I need to speak with you for a moment." He got up and headed out of the kitchen.
Pepper gave Steve a nervous smile. "Be right back." She rose to follow Tony from the room.
In the doorway, Tony bumped into Happy, who was just coming in.
"Oh, sorry, boss, just wanted to tell you something."
"What is it?" Tony asked impatiently.
"Well, I said I'd tell you if Pepper woke up. So, uh, she's awake now."
Tony glanced over his shoulder at Pepper, who looked back at him in amusement. "No kidding. Thanks, Happy."
"No problem," said Happy. He turned and headed out. "I'm off to Stark Industries. See you there, Pep!"
"'Bye," said Pepper.
"'Pep?' Her first name is Pepper," Tony called after him.
"Actually that's my middle name," Pepper corrected him. She pulled him out into the hallway. "What's wrong, Tony?" she asked more quietly.
"Wrong? Oh, nothing's wrong. It's just that, today is Bruce's birthday and we're trying to throw him a surprise party."
"Oh, that's what this is about," Pepper said, laughing in relief.
"That's right," said Tony. "And actually, I have a job for you, Honey." "Do you?" "Mhm. I need you to call Fury and Hill while you're at work today and invite them for, say, eight-thirty."
Pepper quirked an eyebrow at him. "Mr. Stark, are you asking me to do non-work-related business during working hours?" she asked, smiling.
"Is there a problem with that, Miss Potts?" he asked, putting a hand to her waist and drawing her closer.
"Well, I was under the impression that it was against regulations, sir," she replied, sliding her hands up his torso.
Tony chuckled and cradled her head in his other hand, tilting it upwards. "You're the CEO of Stark Industries, ma'am. That shouldn't be a problem," he said; and then he kissed her.
At that moment, Steve stuck his head out of the kitchen. "Tony?"
Quickly, Tony and Pepper stepped apart. Steve looked more embarrassed than either of them felt.
"Uh, it can wait," he stammered, but Pepper said quickly, "No, it's fine, Steve, I was just leaving."
"Aren't you going to get something to eat?" Tony asked her.
"I'll just grab something on the way," she said, starting towards the door. "'Bye, Tony. I think I can find the time to do what you asked."
"Okay, 'bye, Pep," Tony called after her. Then he turned to Steve. "What did you want to tell me?"
Steve toed the floor uncomfortably. "Um, I was just gonna say, since Pepper has an allergy to strawberries, we're gonna have to have a different kind of cake, like, um, chocolate?"
Tony sighed and took one last glance at Pepper's retreating form. "Chocolate is fine. Come on, let's go." He led the way back into the kitchen.