CONTAINS SPOILERS!

My first Grey's Anatomy fic :) Hope ya'll like it!

Thanks to Lynette who BETA'd for me :)

For Crystal :)

Disclaimer - I own NOTHING of Grey's *pouts*

"I don't want to go to Africa with you." Arizona said quietly. I stood and looked at her; I couldn't believe she had said such a thing.

"Arizona, no, okay? No!"

"I'm sorry." Arizona whispered.

"You're sorry? You're sorry? It's three years!" I exploded, unable to stop myself.

"I'm gonna miss my plane, you take care of yourself." She turned and started to walk away. I couldn't believe this was happening, I couldn't let her leave.

"No, no! Please, please I can, we can, we can do this, we can figure this out." I begged and I wasn't one to beg.

"You stay here and be happy and I'll go there and be happy."

"If you get on that plane, we are done, do you hear me? We are over!" I yelled, hoping she would change her mind. She turned around slowly and looked at me with her gorgeous blue eyes.

"We are standing in the middle of an airport, screaming at each other, we're already over." Was the last thing Arizona said before she turned around and crossed the doors to board her plane. I don't know for how long I stood there, staring at the gate, hoping Arizona would walk out. I felt my heart drop when I saw the plane take off and realized Arizona wasn't coming back. She was gone, along with the three years we had been together, three years of memories, love and commitment.

"M'am, is everything okay?" I heard someone ask.

"Yeah." I turned to walk towards the doors. It seemed as if I was no longer in control of my body. I hailed a cab and gave the first address that came to mind.

I had never drunk so much in my life. The tiny bottles of the hotel mini bar were in a mess beside the bed. I rolled over and sat up, my eyes glued on the TV.

"Stupid love movies." I mumbled as the title to 'Runaway Bride' played on the TV. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood slowly. The room spun around, I placed a hand on the bed to steady myself.

"Fucking booze." I walked to the bathroom and sighed as I caught a glance of myself in the mirror. The three day old mascara was still on my cheeks and the red lipstick was smudged. I splashed cold water on my face and watched the makeup drip off in the sink. I returned to the room and flicked through the channels, ending on a documentary about Africa.

"Fuck you Arizona, fuck you and your stupid grant and your stupid Africa. Three years? How the Hell could you leave just like that after three years! We were good together! I was willing to leave everything behind for you! How could you?" I yelled at the TV. I swung my hand towards the floor and picked up an empty bottle from the mini bar. Using all my strength, I threw it at the TV, watching it shatter like my heart had shattered. I jumped as I heard someone pound on my door.

"Callie open up, it's Mark." I ignored him, he had been calling and texting for the time I had been here. I turned and buried my face in the pillow. The pounding on the door continued for close to five minutes before he stopped and I heard him walk away. A shaken sigh escaped my lips; I was unable to cry again. This pain was beyond tears, I felt so empty and as if I would be unable to love again. It felt as if my heart had been ripped out of my chest, even if I knew it was anatomically impossible.

"Go away!" I yelled as someone knocked on the door again. The soft knock became a pounding again. I pulled myself out of bed and walked to the door.

"GOD! Mark would you just go away!"

"I'm not leaving this time." I threw open the door and looked at him.

"Torres, you need to let me in…" He began.

"Fuck you." I slammed the door in his face. I wanted to be alone; I didn't want to see anyone.

"No!" He exclaimed as he burst into the room. "I told the front desk I was your husband." Mark walked to the bedroom and watched as I climbed into the bed. I curled up into a ball as I had been for the last three nights. Mark climbed into bed behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"You're not alone in this, you know, we are all here for you." He whispered. I turned to look at him. I could see in his eyes that his heart broke when he saw the tears that were running down my cheeks. He pulled me close and hugged me tight.

"She left, Mark…just like that, no goodbye, just I'm sorry and she just got on that plane and took off." I sobbed into his chest. He tightened his grip and whispered soothing words. All I could do was cry; all I needed was to feel loved.

I climbed the stairs and watched as Cristina danced around her new apartment. She was probably the only person that even felt close to what I did.

"What are you doing? You don't have a job to go to? You don't have a girlfriend telling you to go to Africa? Completely free, you can do whatever you want! The world is your oyster! Make lemonade!" She said to me after I asked her what she was doing. She was obviously going nuts! I mean, she had quit her job and she was dancing like a maniac, alone, in her apartment.

"I'm trying. I was gonna get my hair cut today, like make a radical change, then I thought 'hm, maybe you shouldn't do radical things right after a blonde woman ripped your heart out of your chest'." I noticed Cristina was standing behind me. "What are you…OH MY GOD! What are you doing?" the shriek rang across the room as soon as I heard the scissors snap. "Are you insane?" I asked looking at the lock of hair in her hand.

"Let's make lemonade." She smiled waving the lock of hair in my face, a crazy look in her eyes. I smiled at her and nodded. This was just the push I needed to make a change.

A few hours later, I was sitting with Cristina in her room full of boxes with shorter hair. It felt great and it felt liberating.

"Here's to new beginnings," Cristina smiled at me.

"To new beginnings." I agreed hitting my shooter glass against hers and downing the tequila, no salt, no lime. I knew the haircut wouldn't make me forget her but it was a start. Baby steps and eventually, she'd be gone, away in Africa and I would be here in Seattle, free of all this pain and memories. All I could do for now is to let time pass.

Thanks for reading :) Please leave a review if you like :)

~Kate xo