Disclaimer: I don't own 'em...but what fun I could have if I did.
PROLOGUE
A perfect lie. That's what everything had been. I certainly wasn't in much of a position to judge her. God knows when I had problems, I had hit the bottle. And what did that get me? Nearly arrested, mandatory meetings with a counselor and the loss of Grissom's respect.
We had never been civil to one another socially, much less friends. It didn't take long for the gossip grapevine to alert her to the fact that my 'vacation' had actually been a suspension. After that, she seemed to take a real interest in me. She made sure I was always included in her outings with the guys. I spent lots of Saturdays with her and Lindsey. It took months before either of us realized how close we had become. Once we realized that, our relationship quickly evolved. Before we knew it, we were living together and I had the family I had always wanted. I couldn't remember life before Lindsey and Catherine.
It has been three years, two months and nine days since I last had a drink. I always said I didn't have a drinking problem—that I had a me problem. That's a bit like saying you're a waste collection technician when what you really are is a trash man. I was a drunk. I am an alcoholic. I can say that because my life with Catherine and Lindsey kept me sober. Nothing was going to make me go back to the bottle.
When we lost Lindsey four months ago, I was tempted. I wanted to crawl in that bottle and never come out. I didn't know it was possible to hurt the way I hurt or to feel the pain I felt over losing her. And even now, I can't put words to how much her death devastated Catherine.
I don't think any parent expects to outlive their child. I know I didn't. I really saw us packing her up for college in a couple of years. A beautiful wedding even further down the road. And I could picture my beautiful Catherine holding her first grandchild in her arms minutes after he was born.
What I didn't expect was to get called to the scene of a horrific car crash only to recognize the driver being zipped into a body bag as Lindsey's boyfriend. I dropped my kit and ran to the passenger's side of the car to find rescue crews still trying to cut the passenger out. A sheet had already been placed over her and a body bag was at the ready. It only took me seeing some of the golden hair sticking out from the sheet to recognize the victim as Lindsey.
I was still standing there staring at the scene when Sofia pulled me away. All I recall are bits and pieces of what she said as she drove me home. Stay strong…Catherine…needs you…only child…your love…your support…
When I told Catherine what had happened, she changed. I didn't see it then, but looking back now, I know it happened that instant my words fell on her ears.
I should have known then. I should have paid closer attention. She told me once before that she had only quit using when she found out she was pregnant with Lindsey and that she had stayed clean because of her. I guess I thought I could keep her grounded. But without Lindsey around, she saw no reason to stay clean.
When I came home early from work this morning, the last thing I expected to see were lines of coke on our coffee table and Catherine slumped over on the couch.
It's a little different--I know. But Immi has me depressed, so I decided to go with it.