I like one-shots, sue me. This is just a little dribble-thingy that wouldn't leave me alone. Max/Mariam is kind of a canon pairing so it's included in this.
P.S: for suicidalbeyblader since I think you wanted some more Ray/Mariam as they wasn't all that much in the fandom. (Yes, I just got your review for Locked)
P.S.S: played Dynasty Warriors 5 with Da Qiao while listening to 'It Was You' by Ashley Ballard and So Plush…yes, it was fluffy. But I could totally picture Da thinking about Ce like this after he's saved her so many times.
Recommended Song(s) while reading the fic: So In Love With Two by Mikaila, (the Club Mix and Hex Hector & Dezrok Radio edits work too)
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You're eighteen. You're just blossoming into the world and you're set to do whatever you want, knocking down whoever gets in your way. You're done with playing that stupid spinning top game and can go out into the world, find 'Mr. Right', conceive 'Mr. Right Jr.' or two, and grow old.
But you might as well enjoy life now. Stay a kid for as long as you can before it's too late. Those things can wait until you're in your mid-twenties, can't they?
You're living with your little brother, Joseph, as annoying as he is. You could care less, you tell yourself, but family is family and you still love him nonetheless. You remember how it was like living with Ozuma, your 'superior' according to your traditions. He was bossy, cruel, and if you looked at him the right way or knew him well enough, he was attractive, and you still found yourself having a small crush on him that didn't last too long.
Your other ex-roommate, Dunga, you found was more of a source of comedic relief whenever you needed a chuckle or two. You loved to demean him and try as hard as you could to lower his self-esteem. But when you needed him to be serious, he was. You couldn't help but wonder if he had some feelings for you at some point, as your relationship with him resembled a love-hate one. Perhaps he let you insult him so you wouldn't suspect his feelings for you? Perhaps acting stupid was his way of getting your attention? It was rather too late to think about such things, right?
By request of Ozuma, you attacked the Beyblading Champion, Tyson's, teammate Max, in an attempt to steal his bit-beast from him. The first time you tried, you won, but only because your brother and Max's teammate, Ray, joined in. You hated the fact that people underestimated you because you were a girl. You wanted to prove that you could beat a boy at a simple game without someone else, most likely male, helping you.
All you wanted was to prove yourself.
You got your chance when you and your team challenged Tyson's team to a four-to-four battle. You went up against Max, like you wanted. You were winning; you were quite disappointed when the first round ended in a tie. Ozuma pressured you so much before the second round; you didn't know what to do. Losing was simply out of the question.
You became torn between your feelings and your duty. You wanted to spare Max, because although you didn't want to admit it, you grew feelings for that happy blond. You also wanted to satisfy Ozuma and his request of you. You couldn't have it both ways, however.
When the mission began, you thought that falling in love with anyone on Tyson's team was out of the question, and it would get in the way of what you were supposed to do.
That was before.
On a crate, you sat with your legs pulled up to your chest.
"Mariam?" Ozuma asks you.
Your head perks up at the sound of your name, giving a small nod of your delicate head as you let out a small "Hmm?"
"What would you do if I told you that Tyson and the others are entering another competition?"
"That depends…do we have to compete?"
He shrugs, "If you want."
"How about we go, but not compete?"
"Why?"
"We don't really have a reason to compete. There's no more mission, no more rock, no more bit-beasts to capture…." You can't help it, but some of your worry in your voice comes through.
He thinks about it for a long time. "I see your point."
You hesitate, but you still say it. "Can we still go?"
He stares at you with those bright emerald green eyes of his. You remember why you used to have a small crush on him before. "Sure." He says as his expression softens.
You ask yourself if he knows about your feelings for Max. Maybe that's why he's being so nice to you? Maybe he simply wants you to be happy?
Everything was going as you envisioned it in your happiest dreams. Max has admitted to you that he felt a connection while being with you. He told you that he developed some feelings for you, albeit small ones, ever since you jumped off the roof of Tyson's dojo. While the two of you were trapped in that cave, he felt a lot of tension, as if everything in the world was telling him to admit how he felt for you.
You told Max that you had feelings for you too. When your relationship began, you weren't sure if the two of you were "in love in love" but you didn't care as you felt safe around him.
You're standing outside Tyson's dojo, knocking on the door and waiting for Max to come out. You had a date planned, and since Max didn't know where you were staying, nor did Ozuma want you to reveal the location of the 'hide-out', as he so generously called it, you took the liberty of going to where you knew he was staying.
The door slides open and instead of the blond you've come to fall in love with, the long-haired, Chinese member of the team comes out.
"Yes?" he asks you.
Ray was simply 'Max's comrade' to you. You knew very little about him, but you knew each other enough to exchange a few "hello", "how are you", and "goodbyes" every so often. It was simply conversational talk. Nothing unusual.
You smile. "Hello Ray."
He returns the smile. "Hello to you too."
"You're doing fine, I hope?"
He nods. "Yeah, and you?"
"I'm fine too."
Soon, a shuffling behind Ray steals both of your attentions, as Max comes hopping out, trying to get his left shoe on his foot in a hurry.
"Hey." Max grins lightly, planting a soft kiss on your cheek. As soft as it is, it can still make your face heat up.
"Ready?" You ask him.
Max nods and holds his arm out to you, which you accept happily. As the two of you turn to leave, you look at Ray.
"Goodbye."
He gives you a small wave of his hand. "Bye."
After that, Max leads you on and on, further away from the black-haired boy until he escapes from your eyesight. Once he's gone, you stare in front of you as Max takes you to your date.
You had everything. You had looks, charm, the boy of your dreams, and love. You were happy.
…You were supposed to be happy, but deep down, you almost weren't.
But there was something else. You thought that if Hilary and Tyson could be happy, you deserved to be happy too. You thought Max made you happy.
You thought Max was your everything.
But as time goes on and on, and date after date, month after month, Ray always, always seems to be the one that answers the door as Max gets ready for the date. You find it eerily coincidental that it's always him. You begin to have conversations other than the usual "hello, how are you doing, goodbyes" you used to have. You talk more and more, sometimes about yourselves, sometimes about your teams, and whatever else comes to your minds.
You've grown to see Ray as a close friend, perhaps even closer than Ozuma, your "dear childhood friend", is to you. He's a very good, close friend, and your heart is still with Max.
…or so you've told yourself.
Near the end of a competition, you're at Tyson's again, waiting for Max to come out and talking with Ray to pass the time until the blond does come out.
"Now that you put it that way, I suppose I could teach Hilary a few battling tactics." You smile at Ray.
He nods, yet his attention is still diverted as he's still staring into space. Just like he was when the conversation started, and just like he is now.
"How are you…?" you ask, rather cautious of his peculiar behavior.
"I'm fine, just thinking…"
"That's good. You are the most rational of the team," you compliment with a sincere smile.
"True, but this time, I was thinking about you."
Then it struck you. He's infatuated with you. Or maybe even in love with you. You could only guess how long he's been that way. Maybe ever since him and Max tag-team battled you and Joseph? Maybe just recently? Maybe ever since your first date with Max?
You aren't sure how many questions ran through your head but they are all banished as soon as Max comes out, rolling up the sleeve on his shirt. Like always, he holds his arm out to you. And like always, you take it and bid Ray farewell, staring at him until he leaves your eyesight.
You then avoid thinking about it. You love Max, and always have. That's that, and it is simplicity itself. Ray is simply your friend. Though, you aren't sure if you truly believe that, since a part of you, deep inside, is falling in love with Ray too.
Ray understands you and level-headed in tense situations, a quality you're sure Max is not in possession of. Ray has all the qualities of what a typical hero is. Yet, Max is still the one that holds your heart and Max is still the one that you've always thought was your hero. Around him, you feel special, loved, happy, and all other emotions one feels when in love. He's been your hero since he stood up for you and brought you back to your senses.
When you were young, Ozuma told you that everyone has "one true love" and you wonder what's wrong with having two, as you love them both. Equally. Max has been everything you've dreamed of since you were small. He is rather tough and quick-tempered when he wants to be, but you know he truly loves you. Ray is everything a "knight in shining armor" is. He's rational, understanding and gallant.
You ask yourself if being in love with two people at once is your fault, or if it is Max's or Ray's.
"Mariam?" Max asks, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.
"Hmm?" you hum back, staring at his cerulean eyes, though you regret it as you fear he might see into your soul, and find what secret you're hiding.
"I won my match today," he tells you. You weren't prepared for that and wonder if he's going to make the whole conversation about him.
"Max?" you manage to say, at loss for any other words.
"The thought of your presence was what lead me on," he admits, looking away from you as if embarrassed, "and I suppose I wanted to impress you, because I figured you were worth fighting for."
"Really?" you ask, also feeling embarrassed. You couldn't help but feel quite light-headed. "But my life wasn't even at stake in that battle. And neither was yours."
"I know…but I think that a guy should stand up for the girl he loves"
You nod.
Perhaps it went against everything you believed in before, as you wanted to prove that you could take on a male without any assistance. But when Max told you that a boy should protect the girl, you started to change your mind. Maybe the boy should protect the girl, as they did before, so they always would.
You wonder what would happen if Max found out you were in love with Ray too. Max certainly seems like the type to want his partner to love him, and him alone. Would Max think that you were just toying with his emotions? Or that you were simply using him to get to Ray?
You regret thinking that love was simple. Fairy tales led you to believe that the girl will fall in love with the boy and that's that. You now realize that it isn't simple. Fairy tales never told you that people can love two people at once. You suddenly ask yourself how it is possible, but soon it doesn't matter because you do love two people at once.
Another date always means another chance to talk to Ray. A moment ago, you were talking about how they could teach Hilary how to blade, then suddenly the subject changed, without your notice or care.
"Do you still love him?" Ray asks you with a sudden neutral look on his face.
You stare at him for a long while and wonder what he wants to hear you say. Nevertheless, you can't be dishonest to someone like his.
"If I said I wasn't, I'd be lying…"
"Oh."
You pause, but everything you've tried to keep inside just flows out. "I don't want to hurt you either."
The look on Ray's face tells you that, just from that simple sentence, he knows that you love him too, yet neither inferior nor superior to your love for Max. "Can I ask why you love him?"
"Because."
His face turns confused. "Because why?"
"I can't really explain it," you say. In all honestly, you know you can't explain. You don't understand why Ray always makes you speak the truth, "I think it's because people fall in love with people for the wrong reason or no reason at all…"
"I see…"
You're hesitant, which is very unlike you. "…is it all right if I ask why you love me?"
For a few seconds, you can't help but wonder if he's smirking because of your nervousness, or because he's relieved that he can finally let it all out. "Because."
On the surface, that answer seems stupid, or simply careless. But you know better; it's the same answer you gave him.
You nod.
He smiles weakly and is about to say something, but cannot, as Max comes out, this time brushing his hair with his fingers.
"Goodbye Ray."
You expect Ray to bid you a goodbye too, but instead he bows his head. "Stay out of trouble."
Your expression softens at the double meaning in that. "I can't make promises, but it'll find me one way or the other."
Max looks back and forth between the both of you and you pray that he doesn't pick up what you're hiding.
You feel that it's not right to be like this. You can't help it, but it's not right. When you think that you have no other choice, you tell Ozuma. He's your best friend and he won't tell anyone, right?
"I suspected as much…"
You're speechless. How unlike you. "What?"
Ozuma gives you a small sneer. "It was rather apparent after the first six months of 'coincidentally' having him see you off. I just didn't expect you to reciprocate."
There's honesty in his words, you can't deny that. "I'm sorry."
"There's really nothing for me to forgive, is there?"
He's always right. You've hated that from the moment you met him. You've learned to accept it, but you've never quite learned to tolerate it.
"Are you listening?" he asks harshly.
You nod. Again, you're speechless.
"I don't even know why you decided to tell me all this."
"I trusted you."
His face becomes soft. So much that you can't remember what his expression was before you said those three words. All you can remember is the concern, kindness, and sincerity that are being projected on his face at the moment.
"Ozuma?" you ask, becoming concerned with his silence.
He snaps back to reality and stares at you. "Yeah?"
"Just making sure that you were still on earth."
"Ha-ha." He replies dryly.
Ozuma was your channel. You could tell him anything and he'd give you advice on how to deal with it. You were grateful for him. After the mission, you told him that it was the only way he could repay you since he worked you like there was no tomorrow.
"Ray?"
He looks at you from the tree he was leaning on. "Mariam." He replies in turn.
"You said to meet you here?"
"That I did."
"Max told me about his mother not really approving of me." You say, trying to draw up a conversation.
"I knew that."
"You knew…but you didn't tell me?"
He looks away. "It wasn't my place."
You're irrational. You're not thinking properly. All that's going through your head is why wouldn't Ray tell you.
You thought he loved you.
So now all you want to do is punch his head into oblivion.
"You should have told me." You insist. You know that it wasn't a hard thing to do. You still don't understand why it was so hard to say.
"I couldn't…"
"What is that supposed to mean?"
He doesn't reply. You know that he has conflicted feelings. You know that he has to keep his feelings a secret, otherwise, Max would find out and everything would fall apart.
"I know you're thinking," you tell him. To you, he's become predictable. You know when he's thinking and you know why. "Can you at least tell me what you're thinking?" You wanted at least that must insight.
It annoys you how he's still thinking; so much that he's almost ignoring you completely. You stare at his face and read his thoughts, or at least close to them.
"Tell me that you don't want me with Max…" you challenge.
Ray looks back up at you with his golden eyes wide open. You find yourself comparing his golden eyes to the cerulean blue ones of Max. The cerulean blue eyes that could see into your soul if you let him.
You can still read his thought and expression, and confront him with it. "It's the truth, isn't it?"
"No…" he finally speaks up.
You're at another lack of words. You hate what everything's done to you. You hate how weak you've become.
"Go to him…"
"Why?" you ask. As conflicted as you are, you still cannot choose one over the other. You still love them both equally, and you probably always will.
"Because…" his eyes search the grass.
You know that this answer might be the 'because' that explained why you loved Max and why Ray loved you. Another part of you thinks it might be something else.
"Because you want to."
You approach him as he stands up. His expression is unreadable. You wrap your arms around his neck and hug him. When you pull back, his expression is more unreadable than before. Perhaps he's pretending that you love him and him alone? Perhaps he's pretending that he was never in love with you? Perhaps he's pretending that he's perfectly happy where he is?
But you know better.
"When you're in love, there isn't really a right or wrong…" you utter out, unsure of where that came from, but you know that it's probably true.
Ray smiles at you in response.
Still, time went by, and dates went by. You've handled everything that came your way with brimming confidence and a smirk. The only problem is that you've never been able to decide between Max and Ray. You're afraid of breaking both their hearts. You never intended on doing so, and you've grown to be quite ignorant. Your answer to everything was "I don't know" which was true.
The reality was you couldn't decide.
All you knew was that you were in love with Max.
And you were in love with Ray.
"Mariam?" Max asks, holding your hand in his. The warmth of his hand neutralizes the shivers going all throughout your body.
You nod, silently signaling that he has your undivided attention.
"I think I love you…"
This was it. It was everything you wanted. A few months ago, your whole life would have been fulfilled at those five words. You knew you loved Max, and Ray had admitted he loved you, after all, yet you did not hear Max confess his love for you. All you heard Max say was that he had "feelings" for you. "Feelings" and a "connection" but nothing of love. Nothing of what you wanted to hear.
It didn't end there. "No wait…I don't think I love you; I think I truly love you."
You didn't want to make a fool of yourself. Nor did you want to sound like an old romance movie by repeating those words with a simple "too" at the end. You were above all that and you knew it. You promised him that while watching his battles, you wouldn't let your emotions get in the way. Yet you also promised yourself that you would put your feelings of love aside. "It's mutual…" you reply.
As crude or uncaring as you sounded, he appreciated it and showed it by placing a kiss on your lips. A thousand and one thoughts rushed your head and you couldn't keep up with them, nor could you analyze them like you always could before. All you knew was that you appreciated the kiss.
"Love's an allusive creature." You say with a soft sigh escaping your lips.
"Just like happiness." He replies.
You nod. "I know. I was happy in love, or at least I thought I was, for a while. But being torn between two men I love is just very confusing."
He smiles at you and you had everything you wanted since you were a child.
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A/N: All right, I admit that was weird. The pairing at the end is open to interpritation.
Ever since I finished my gr.9 English course, I wondered what it'd be like to write from 2nd person POV. I knew that 1st person was when the author was in the story, and simply describing what their experiences are or pretending that they're one of the characters and 3rd was when the author wasn't, and simply describing what the characters are doing. I had no clue what 2nd was until I read one in the textbook, although we were never supposed to write one. Yes, everyone is OOC, too bad. They're older and more mature, that's my excuse. Sorry for not updating my multi-chaptered stories in like, forever. Oh well. Review! Or just do whatever you wanna do.