Author's Notes: I wrote this from Abby's POV, although you could translate it from Carter's POV. It has a kind of carby theme going on. I hope you like it, kind of bittersweet that it is.
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Fall From Grace
When you fall, you hit the ground hard. And that's why I'm scared of doing exactly that. You could be one of the lucky ones, ones who put their lives on their line, not knowing fully what could happen, to be innocent, naïve. They're lucky, so lucky. They never fall. They never hit the ground.
Never feel the pain as I have.
They're the birds of life, beautiful, elegant. People like me, specks of unfortunate existence, breathing, but not yet living. We put our lives on the line and we know what'll happen, but we do it anyway. And we wait, we wait for the fall from grace. And then we fall. Dizzyingly fast and violent. We hit the ground hard.
And for a while, we don't heal.
But we do eventually. We heal and we do it again. We become addicted to the fall. We get a buzz, a high. We get used to become life's dump of shit. And we continuously put ourselves out on a limb for these few moments. Some of us never figure out how to stop, how to get out. Sometimes, people like me try. We know what's happening is wrong, our reaction is wrong. But we're alone, so afraid and alone. Hopeless.
Then someone comes along.
A kindred soul. Someone who knows what you're going through. They make you feel so. . .amazing. Happy? I'm not sure whether I've ever been happy. I wouldn't know. They make you feel like the center of the world. And you feel torn between agony and euphoria. That's love. You're amazed that you could actually feel this way but at the same time you know it's too good to last.
And you wait for the inevitable, the pain.
And you wait and wait. And you start to believe that it could actually be real. You start to lose a grip on what was once past and you look forward to the future. And then it hits you, the drop. You fall horribly quickly. From your position, on the lowest part of the ground, you spy them at the top, waiting for you. Sorry, waiting and as confused as you.
And you make the climb again.