A/N-

Hi all.

This is a short, Halloween themed Huddy fic written by Haddicted, Muna16, and myself, i'mnotcrazy82. We all collaborated on this, and with their permission, I'm going to post it all here. At the beginning of each chapter, I'll let you know which one of us wrote it!

Thanks to them for collaborating with me on this, and thanks to you for reading!

Enjoy!

By the by, this was written before Unplanned Parenthood even aired. This is set in season seven. House and Cuddy are still feeling each other out in their relationship, and House is having problems with Rachel.

As always, DS and Co. own House, but I thank them for sharing his toys!

Trick or Treat

Chapter One -(Written by I'mnotcrazy82)

Gregory House stepped out into the late October air, pausing a moment to take a deep breath. There was a clean, crisp chill in the air, and the late afternoon sunlight bathed the front of the hospital in a butter yellow light. The oak and maple trees that dotted the campus were turning bright shades of gold and red.

And he hated it all.

He hated the inevitable change of seasons that hallmarked the beginning of the holiday season. From now until New Years, the weeks were dotted with days set aside for family and gatherings. The air would become colder and colder, setting off the already deep ache in his thigh with screaming pain on cold mornings. He hated the stiffness that would come with frosty mornings, and the snow and ice that made his already unstable balance and stride even more treacherous.

He sighed, grimacing at the faint mist of breath that hung in the air. If he ever met her, Mother Nature was going to get a cane shoved up her ass for this abomination known as fall and winter. He ground his teeth together, his right hand gripping the round handle of his new cane tightly while his left pulled the leather coat even more tightly around him. It was almost getting too cold to ride his bike; the wind bit through the thick leather, even when he layered, and his fingers would be stiff when he pried them off the handlebars.

He made his way his bright orange and white bike, having parked it arrogantly in the handicapped parking place right in front of the hospital. He had been late that morning, and his usual spot in the garage was already taken by another doctor's cherry red jag, which had a lovey scuff now done one side, thanks the rubber cap at the end of his cane. His mouth quirked up into a small smirk; the security camera wouldn't show anything for those few minutes, thanks to a small bribe to a few underpaid security guards. At least it had been a nice day out, and it hadn't rained on the leather seats of his precious bike.

He straddled the tank, shifting a little on the leather to become more comfortable. He was tugging on his leather gloves when a soft beep chirped from his pocket. He frowned, standing up so he could fish his cell phone out of his pocket. He smiled at the number on the front, then he flipped it open. "House."

"Do you think you can go to my place early and relieve the sitter?" Cuddy was crisp and to the point.

"Another late meeting?" he groused, rubbing at his forehead. "I should charge by the hour for this."

"You'll receive fair payment," Cuddy teased. "The fundraising committee chair just walked out. I have to step in, just for tonight," she clarified.

"What if I have plans?" he whined. "The world doesn't revolve around your ginormous ass, you know. Though I do have a theory about it's gravitational pull..."

"That's only because your hand seems to be glued to it." He could hear the smirk in her voice, and he found himself smiling in response. "And I know you don't have plans. Wilson's going to a play with Sam tonight, and he only has two tickets, and your team is here, breaking in the new girl. I swear to god, House, if she quits because of your department's hazing..."

"It's not hazing," he answered quickly. He held the phone to his ear with his shoulder. "It's just a sort of getting to know you tradition. I'm being gentle with her; I made Foreman break into a home in his first week, and I had the last batch of new recruits wash my car and dig up a body..."

"And you only have one of those team members left," she responded dryly.

"Touché."

"It'll only be for a few hours. I know you don't want to..."

"No, no," he sighed. "I'll do it. But you owe me."

"What? Less clinic hours? Tighter skirts for the female staff? French maid outfits for the housekeeping personnel?" Her tone was weary, and he read between the lines.

"No, we'll discuss my fee when you get home." When you're naked in bed with me. The last part remained unsaid, but she knew he was thinking it.

"Fine. I'll see you then."

"'Bye." He snapped the phone shut, and he pressed it against his forehead, hoping that doing so would get rid of his burgeoning headache. After a moment, he sighed, putting the phone away and strapping on his helmet. Better to get this done and over with...

[H] [H] [H]

"Doctor House?" Marina opened the door, wide eyed. "Where is Doctor Cuddy?"

He sighed, seeing the blatant disappointment on the nanny's face. She had made her opinion of him obvious, finding him much less charming than his former good friend. "Working late, again," he growled, a scowl set on his features. "I've been pulled from the bench for the save."

She rolled her eyes. "Rachel's not been feeling well today." At his creased brow, she continued, "she's been getting over a cold."

"Good thing I spend all those hours in the hospital's clinic in a week. I've become an expert in colds. Gonna get my Nobel prize any day now for my hands on research of it." He stepped into the house, limping heavily. He rubbed his forehead, looking around. "It means you can go; I know Cuddy pays you before she leaves for work."

She sniffed, then gathered her things. He watched as she gave Rachel a kiss goodbye. The little girl looked up at Marina with large, adoring brown eyes, and she giggled as the woman knelt down and brushed her cheek with her lips. "Be a good girl for Doctor House," she told the girl with a strained smile. "Your mama will be home in a little bit, okay?" House snorted at the gushing comments, drawing a dirty look from both Marina and Rachel.

"'Kay!" the not quite two year old smiled widely at the nanny.

"Okay," he grunted. "You've said your goodbyes, now, leave."

She gave Rachel one more quick hug, then stood up. "Good night, doctor House," she told him crisply, before getting into her Focus.

House exhaled, running his fingers through his hair. "Looks like its you and me kid." Again."

"Mama." The little girl frowned at him, thrusting her plump lower lip out. "Mama!" she said, louder.

"Your mama's at work, kid. You're stuck with me for the next few hours." He limped over to the couch, and he turned the tv on. He settled down on the soft cushions, only to have a block come flying in his direction.

"MAMA!" she screamed, her lower lip quivering.

House clenched his teeth. "You're mama's not here." He watched as Rachel balled her small hands into fists, then she started pounding the carpet, bursting into full-blown tantrum. "MAMA!" she screamed at the top of her lungs, which caused him to cringe. "Jesus, kid," he winced as he rose from the couch, limping over to her. He awkwardly knelt down, his thigh screaming in protest. He tried to pick her up, but she smacked his hands away from her, tears streaming down her round, red face. "MAMA NOW!" she shrieked. "YOU BAD! WANT MAMA."

He managed to get his arms around her, and he hefted her in the air, trying to ignore her pounding fists as she threw her tantrum. "Easy, easy kid," he mumbled awkwardly, closing his eyes. He carried her around the living room, trying to make soothing noises. Eventually, she calmed down, red-faced and hiccuping with the effort. Damn, Cuddy, he thought, bitterly. You owe me big time for this.

[H] [H] [H]

It was late when Cuddy finally was able to get home. Her dark hair had fallen from the clip that held it back, and eyes were rimmed by dark circles. She hated late nights like these anymore, not when she had a family waiting on her to get home. And there was House waiting for her, too.

The thought of being greeted by a kiss from House and a glass of red wine flew out the window, though, when she stepped inside her House. Her ears rang with Rachel's cries, and she dropped her briefcase down in the foyer. She ran into the kitchen as she heard House swear. "Dammit, kid. It's just spaghetti. Don't you...damn it to hell."

She stepped into the kitchen to find Rachel screaming at the top of her lungs, while House was wiping red sauce off of his face with one of her kitchen towels. "Hey, baby," she soothed. "Mama!" the girl's face brighented. She raised her arms up, and Cuddy picked her up out of the chair. "Shh," she cooed. "It's okay."

"Yeah," House snorted. "Comfort her," he growled. "She's not the one who had spaghetti sauce thrown in her eyes."

"Shut up, House," Cuddy muttered, her words hard. "She's two, you're fifty."

"Fifty-one," he corrected her.

Rachel buried her face into her mother's shoulder. "Bad House," she muttered into the soft jacket. Cuddy forced out a weary chuckle before taking her out of the kitchen, but not before shooting House a we'll talk about this later look over her shoulder, leaving him to slump down in a kitchen chair.

He hadn't signed up for this.