"QUILEUTE ~ LA PUSH ~ CHALLENGE" Entry
Title: Jared Loves Me
Pen name: addisonJ
Beta Name: mac216
Genre: romance/drama
Summary: Jared imprints on Kim. She's thrilled but uncertain. He needs to convince her.
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DISCLAIMER: Twilight characters and related likeness are owned by Stephenie Meyer,
Little Brown Publishing. No profits have been received in the production of this piece.
A/N: many thanks to my betas, Mac216 and ErinB.
"Jared loves me."
Kim smiled broadly, no, she grinned. A huge, Cheshire Cat-sized grin. She never, ever thought she'd be writing those words in her diary. Jared. Loves. Me. Me, Kim. Shy, boring, plain Kim. Kim who has had a crush on Jared since, like, the dawn of civilization. Jared. Loves. Kim.
It was unbelievable. Unbelievable and wild and cool and oh-so-excellent. Who would ever have guessed that cool, popular Jared would even notice her, much less like her? Kim daydreamed that he might one day ask her out on a date and maybe he'd be her first kiss, but to declare his love to her? No. Freaking. Way. It was so beyond Kim's expectation. Sure, she had written 'Kim + Jared' in the margins of her class notes since time began, but she was a realistic romantic. She knew deep down that it would never happen. Jared and all the other boys noticed girls like Leanne with her gorgeous almond eyes and huge chest, or Crystal with her Jennifer Lopez rear end and tiny waist. Those girls not only had the bodies boys liked to ogle, but they also knew how to flirt. They would walk with swinging hips and wear low-cut tops and try to brush up against boys while walking down the hall. Girls like that kind of scared girls like Kim. They were so … grownup. Kim expected she'd end up with some nice, boring boy like Henry or Elliott. Those boys didn't seem to have any hormones yet and still played Pokemon and Yu-Gi-Oh. Kim expected that in the future, she'd simply marry and have babies with a Henry or an Elliott.
But no … Jared said he loved her! It all just happened so quickly, just over the past three days! First, Jared disappeared for like two weeks. There was a rumor he got some bug or something and needed to be quarantined. Perhaps it was the same bug that Sam had come down with? And Jared came back even hotter than before! Taller, his face lean. It looked like he had aged five years but the biggest change were his muscles! Wow – overnight he turned into a stud! Even those girls who never noticed him before, those girls who had fawned over Jake and Paul, were starting to notice Jared.
There was a ton of whispering when he came back to school. Kim didn't feel bad staring at him that day because everyone else was as well. But then he just stared back at her. Really, really stared. Kim would always remember the exact moment – she was passing him in the hall like she always did between 2nd and 3rd period. He had been walking down the hall and looking around with this new self-assurance and maturity that went with his new height and muscles. Oh God, those muscles! He was looking to his right as Kim was passing on his left, and suddenly his head just whipped around and his eyes found hers. He literally stopped in his tracks. He just stopped cold. The kids walking behind him bumped into him and yelled, "Hey!" and "Move it!" but he didn't. He just stood there and stared at Kim with this intensity that had no limits. Kim felt his eyes bore into her very soul. It all felt so very private and personal, and it was all happening in the middle of the school hallway!
Suddenly, the bell rang for the second time and they had to scramble to get to class or face detention for tardiness. Jared suddenly looked away and rushed to class with a speed and agility that Kim had never noticed before. She stood there absolutely perplexed. She had no idea if what had just happened was a good thing or a bad thing. It was certainly a big thing, but she couldn't label it anything other than "Jared looked at me really hard." She would have to wait to see what happened next.
What happened next was while Kim was sitting with her friends in 7th period, Jared came in late and sat directly behind her. He'd never done that before. He usually sat with his buddies in the third row on the other side of the classroom. Even his friends were like, "Hey, Jared, over here," but he ignored them and sat directly behind her – Kim. That was the second sign.
The third sign was that he was waiting for her after school. She usually walked home with Amanda and Beverly, but Jared was waiting by her locker. He was staring again but not as intensely as before. It was still a pretty intense stare.
"Hey, Kim," he said. His voice was deeper than it had been two weeks ago.
Kim's eyes opened wide, and her friends elbowed themselves behind her.
Kim managed to mumble a,"H-hi."
Jared smiled. A real, genuine smile. He seemed ecstatic that she had spoken to him.
"How you doin'?" he asked.
"F-fine." Darn it! She was mumbling again! Her stomach was in knots. What is happening? Is this real?
"Can I – can I walk you home?" he asked. For a cute boy, he sounded hesitant which made him even cuter in her eyes.
Kim's heart leapt. She didn't mumble a response this time. "Yes."
So, as her friends smiled and giggled, and his friends gaped with WTF expressions, Jared walked Kim home from school. He ended up staying at her house that afternoon, helping her take care of her little sisters and getting dinner ready. And when her parents came home from work, Jared was already there, so he was invited to stay for dinner, which he did.
"Jared seems like a nice boy," her mother commented to Kim that night after her little sisters were in bed.
"Yep," was the extent of Kim's response. Her mother raised an eyebrow, but Kim refused to take the bait.
Her mother continued folding the laundry that Kim was pulling out of the dryer. "You know, we don't approve of you having boys over while you're home alone, but Jared seems nice. As long as you keep an eye on your sisters and keep up with your school work, it's fine."
Kim's heart soared. She grinned and gave her mom a big hug. "Thank you!"
Her mother hugged her back and continued her focus on the clothes. "Don't give us a reason to be disappointed. We're giving you a lot of freedom now."
"We'll be good," Kim promised.
Kim's first kiss was the very next day on her parents' bed with her little sisters occupied the family room watching the Nickelodeon channel.
It was the happiest day of Kim's life thus far. Jared came over to her home that morning to walk her to school. He carried her books. He held her hand. By the time they got to school, it was as if they were an established couple. However, it was still news to the rest of the school. There were stares and whispers. Jared didn't seem to notice, but Kim did. Shy Kim was suddenly in the spotlight and she didn't like it, especially when she heard Leanne tell Crystal that she must be "putting out" and she'd probably be "knocked up like Betty" in nine months. Kim's mother told her to ignore hateful words, but they were hard to ignore when you were a 16-year-old girl with her first boyfriend, a boy you'd always had a crush on and who was so far out of your league that it was incredibly obvious to the rest of the school. When your eyes were too small and your nose too broad and your teeth too big. When he looked like a swimsuit model and you didn't. Just being with him should make it all right, but it was not quite enough.
"Kim, what happened?"
It was lunchtime. Kim sat at her usual table eating her usual lunch with her usual friends, but this time there was a change from the usual routine.
She saw Jared find her eyes from across the cafeteria. He smiled and headed her way, once again ignoring the calls and WTF looks on his friends' faces. What was unusual was that Jared actually went to Kim's table. Kim's table consisted of all the boring girls. Not the popular girls like Leanne or the loser girls like Joyce, but the in-between girls that most people forgot about. The ordinary girls who weren't too pretty or too ugly, not too smart or too dumb, not too athletic or too klutzy. The boring, normal, ordinary girls who sat together and stared at the antics of their not-ordinary classmates. Except for this day, when one of the not-ordinary classmates actually deigned to come over and sat with them.
Jared sat right next to Kim and focused solely on her, almost ignoring her friends Ruth, Beverly, and Tess. Tess and Beverly didn't seem to mind; they just sat there and smiled and giggled. But not Ruth. She glowered. And when Jared left to speak to the basketball coach before next class, Ruth turned to Kim and stared daggers at her head.
"Kim, what happened?" Ruth asked, her voice filled with fear, anger and dread.
Kim was sure she was glowing. "I don't know. It just started yesterday. It's as if he likes me."
Beverly and Tess 'ooooh-ed' dreamily in unison while Ruth frowned.
"Just like that? He likes you? He's known you since first grade."
"Yeah, so?"
"Well, it's strange. Maybe there's something else going on. Maybe it's a dare, and he just wants to get in your pants."
"Ruth!" Tess and Beverly screamed at their friend in unison to stop, but the damage was done. Kim began to have doubts.
It really made no sense, after all.
The first kiss came that afternoon. Kim's little sisters were watching TV while Kim was putting away the laundry that she and her mom had done the night before. She had her back to Jared and was bent over, putting her father's trousers into the dresser drawer, when suddenly she felt a hardness against her. She knew that Jared was directly behind her, pressing against her. She felt tightness between her legs that was a totally new sensation, and it was scary and thrilling all at once.
She raised herself up slowly as Jared wrapped his arms around her waist and gently turned her to face him.
"Do you mind?" he asked. His face was inches from her own. She had never been this close to a boy before.
"No," she whispered, anxious for what was to come.
He placed three of his fingers on her chin and raised her jaw up slightly so that her lips were angled in alignment with his descending ones.
His lips brushed against her. She had no idea what to do. Eyes open or closed? Arms at her sides or on his waist? Or maybe his shoulders? Keep lips still or move them? She was so tense that she almost missed the feeling of his lips on her, and how it made her stomach quiver.
Jared's lips withdrew, and he smiled under half-lidded eyes. "Want to try it again?" he asked in his new deep voice.
Kim didn't need to say anything; her eyes were wide and she nodded quickly. She was sure that she had probably failed at the kiss, but he was giving her a second chance! This time she closed her eyes, put her hands carefully on his sides, and opened her lips slightly.
Jared smiled more this time and didn't even ask if he could do it again. Kim thought she was getting pretty good at it by the time she had to start dinner. But she still remembered Ruth's words.
On the third day, it was no surprise to see Jared at her doorstep in the morning, or have Jared carry her books to school, walk with her between classes, and sit at the table with the ordinary girls. Some of Jared's friends decided to try out the new table too, and soon enough Beverly and Tess had boys to flirt with as well. No one was too surprised when Jared sat next to her in 7th period and walked her home after school. The two spent the afternoon practicing kissing in her bedroom.
Kim didn't think too much of Leanne or Ruth's words until Jared's hand moved to brush against her chest in a very deliberate motion. Then suddenly all those doubts came back to her. She leapt off the bed and smoothed out her shirt.
"Maybe you better go," she said in a quiet but firm voice. She couldn't quite look him directly in the eye, but kind of focused a little to the side of his head so that she saw him but didn't see him.
Jared jumped off the bed and was by her side in an instant. "I'm sorry, Kim. We can go slow."
Kim shook her head fiercely and brushed away the long, black strands of hair that were falling into her eyes. "No, I know this is all probably a practical joke. Let's hit on the plain girl and dump her and break her heart. What do you get if you win? $10? Ten bucks to break my heart?"
With an anguished cry, Jared pulled her reluctant body into his arms. "No! Never! I would never break your heart! I love you!"
Jared. Loves. Me.
When he said those words, Kim was stunned into total silence. She sat down angrily.
"Don't lie to me. Not about that. That's just too cruel."
Jared squeezed her into his arms again. "Never, I would never lie about that. I just love you. I saw you, and I suddenly felt that you were my entire world, and all I wanted was to be with you, to spend my life with you, to love you."
Kim shook her head. She placed her hands over her ears. "No, no no no no! No! This is all lies! Who told you to do this? Paul? This is too mean!" She stood up and walked to the doorway. "I need you to leave."
Jared, his face twisted in pain, moved to embrace her again, but she crossed her arms in front of her chest and shook her head. "No. You need to leave. Now."
Jared, never seeing such determination in his love's eyes before, shook his head sadly and walked away, not seeing Kim collapse to the floor in tears the moment she heard the front door close behind him.
Kim's family did not say anything when they had frozen pizza for dinner, and Kim suddenly claimed that allergies were causing her sniffles. Kim's sisters didn't say anything about Jared rushing off and their sister staying in her room until they heard their parent's car pull into the driveway, and how Kim only left the room to rush out and run around the kitchen, trying to make a dinner that should have been started 30 minutes before. Kim's mother ignored the fact that Jared was not there for the first time in days, and that Kim shut herself in her room, stating that she needed to study for a test and rest. As much as they loved and cared for Kim, they did not put the pieces together, or they respected her privacy. Either way, Kim was alone in dealing with it. She was afraid to call Ruth, afraid to say, "You were right."
So at school the next day, Kim went back to her usual routine, pre-Jared, of walking to school by herself, carrying her own books, walking between classes by herself, and sitting with her friends at her usual table. Since Jared didn't join them, his friends didn't either, so the days of the two tables being joined became a distant memory, almost too unbelievable to be plausible, but the ordinary girls at their usual table remembered.
"Kim, what happened?"
Ruth's voice was soft this time. Not a 'I told you so' voice, but more like 'you're my friend. I'm here for you.'
Kim shook her head. "I can't talk right now. Not here," she whispered, her head down, willing herself not to look at Jared's table or feel Jared's gaze.
Beverly looked at the boy's table. "He keeps staring at you! What happened? What'd he do?"
Kim shook her head again and moved food around her lunch plate. "It doesn't matter. It's over. It's done. There are no happy endings here, so go look somewhere else."
Tess gave her a half hug. "We're here for you. Let's go to your house after school. We'll all help out, and you can tell us when you're ready."
Kim nodded sadly. It was good to have friends. Her life was returning to the pre-Jared norm.
Seventh period. English class. He sat on the other side of the room with his friends. They seemed happy to see him again and gave her smirk-y looks.
Jared was still, tense. He didn't talk to them, didn't smile, didn't laugh. He didn't say anything against her either, which surprised and pleased Kim. She had expected the dissing to begin, for Jared to brag about kissing her, to make up stories about feeling her up, about breaking her heart. None of that happened. He just sat there, sad and intense, staring. Staring at her as she kept her head down and tried to focus on the teacher droning on about Edgar Allan Poe. "Nevermore." That could be said about her and Jared. Nevermore would he be stealing kisses on her bed. Nevermore would he greet her in the morning at her home, eager to carry her books and walk her to school, tentatively holding her hand, giving her a gentle smile. Nevermore. She should get ready to marry Henry or Elliott. Nevermore would Jared be in her life.
The ordinary girls walked their ordinary friend home. They helped her get snacks for her little siblings, helped her clean the house, do homework, get dinner ready. And they greeted her parents as if it was normal to have three more teenage girls in the house, looking chipper and sociable while the one teenage girl who lived there was quiet and morose. As if it was normal to have the girls say their good-byes outside on the porch, not inside the house, and to have whispered conversations while the parents waited inside, watching re-runs of CSI.
Her mother found her in her room, busy organizing the clothes in her dresser drawers by color. She sat on her daughter's bed and patted the spot next to her.
"Sit. Talk," her mother ordered. Kim obeyed.
Her mother put her arms around her eldest daughter, who cried into her shoulder.
"Did he hurt you?" her mother asked with thinly veiled anger.
"No. I ended it. I can't believe he ever really liked me."
Her mother held Kim at an arm's distance. "Don't ever say that. Don't ever demean yourself. You're a wonderful, kind, precious girl. Don't ever think you're less than anyone else."
Kim sniffled. It was so much easier for mothers to say those words than for daughters to believe them.
The next few days followed the pre-Jared routine. Other girls noticed that Jared no longer hung out with Kim, so they approached him, but he brushed them all aside. Even Leanne and Crystal tried, but he pushed them away, so they went back to Paul and Jake. Jared's friends welcomed him back to the fold, but he didn't seem to enjoy their company. He did start hanging out with Sam Uley, however.
Sam Uley, former bad boy, now friend of the Elders. Who disappeared and came back taller and stronger too. Who dumped Leah for her cousin, Emily. Kim never noticed that Jared had spent any time with Sam before, but suddenly he was spotted talking to him all the time. And when Kim would spot them talking, both Sam and Jared would watch her, with the same dark-eyed intensity. Soon Kim noticed that Emily would stare at her too. Creepy. So Kim was only slightly surprised when one afternoon a knock on the door heralded the arrival of Emily, carrying a basket of muffins.
"May I come in?" Emily asked with her usual politeness. Kim nodded and opened the door wider for the young woman to enter. Her little sisters pounced on the muffins and took them to the family room, giving Emily and Kim some privacy in the kitchen while Kim poured them both Dr. Pepper.
Emily took a sip and looked around the kitchen. It was a very unremarkable kitchen. It was obvious that Kim's family did not cook to the extent that Emily did, but everything was practical and serviceable.
Emily took another sip. She had no idea what to say. It was the first time Emily had been in this situation, talking to another imprintee. Sam had just suggested that she talk to Kim. Sam had told her that Jared said that Kim didn't believe his feelings for her were real. How do you explain imprinting? How do you say that you have a soul mate and he's a werewolf?
By the third sip, Emily realized that she had to say something. Kim just sat there staring, and the tension was building. It wasn't going to get any easier.
"So…" that was an easy way to begin. "Kim. You're probably wondering why I'm here."
Kim nodded, still staring. She knew that being silent caused the other person to fill in the void.
Emily took a breath and quietly cursed Sam for putting her in this situation. "So, I heard that you think that Jared is playing with you? I'm here to let you know that he's not, that what he said about you, he really feels it. He loves you." That said, Emily took a hasty sip of the drink and stared at the oven, willing it to talk so that she didn't have to.
Kim felt her anger rising. "Why should I believe you? And how did you even get involved in this? You're not even friends with either of us."
Damn you, Sam, thought Emily as she tried to rethink her approach. "I think you and Jared need to talk. Really talk. You don't know everything about him. He – he needs to show you something. Then you'll believe. He loves you. You and only you. It's … it makes no sense until you see – Can I send him over? Will you at least listen? I can watch your sisters, if you like. You two can take a walk in the woods and have some privacy. I'll even cook dinner." Feeling more in her element, Emily walked over to the refrigerator and opened it, speaking her thoughts. "Hmm…I can make a meatloaf. Does your family like that? Or a turkey noodle casserole? Hmm…. looks like with this chicken defrosting we could do a nice roast chicken with potatoes and vegetables. I'll get it started. But let me text Jared and tell him to come over." With Emily's contribution to the conversation over, she was happy to pass the baton back to Jared while she entered her natural state as queen of the kitchen.
Kim was still processing everything that Emily said when Jared appeared on the porch, almost afraid to knock. He was as handsome as ever, and Kim felt an instant attraction to him again, but then the fear of being hurt, the fear of the inevitable rejection.
He seemed to sense her thoughts because he hung his head a bit and his tall shoulders slumped forward. "Hey, Kim. Wanna go for a walk?"
Kim noticed that he was shirtless and in cutoffs, even though the wind had started to pick up and the afternoon breezes brought in the cool night air. She tried not to be distracted by his six-pack abs.
"Uh, yeah," she mumbled. She then told her sisters to stay home with Emily and she'd that be back in a bit.
Jared led the way to the woods, and Kim followed, grateful that he was walking so much further ahead that she didn't need to bother with small talk. She knew the woods well, but Jared seemed better acquainted with them.
He stopped in a small clearing and turned to face her, pausing for her to get closer. She stopped about seven feet away from him and waited for him to talk.
He paced a bit, ran his fingers through his shortened hair, looked up to face her, then changed his mind and paced some more, rubbed his head some more, looked at her again, and the cycle continued. Finally, Kim's patience ran out.
"Just say whatever you have to say, Jared," Kim said in slightly angry tone. This was the second time that someone had said that wanted to talk to her but didn't talk to her, so she was not in the mood to wait any longer.
"Kim, this is not easy to say. You're either going to think I'm crazy, or you're going to accept me, but I think you're going to think I'm crazy, so I'd like you to think I'm sane for a bit longer."
Kim furrowed her brow in confusion. "Jared, I know you're sane. I've known you since first grade. Just say whatever you have to say and – "
"I'm a werewolf."
Jared's interrupted confession stopped Kim cold. She was speechless. Jared was scared. The moments lengthened before either could speak again.
"I'm a werewolf. I turned into one when I was gone those weeks. Sam is one too. And we imprint. That means we find out true mate. I imprinted on you. You're my mate. I love you. I'll do anything for you. My goal is to be whatever you want me to be, but I hope you want to be mine."
Jared's words were rushed and jumbled and crazy and fantastic and so unbelievable. When Kim failed to react, he paced some more and rubbed his head before he faced her again.
"You gotta believe me. I can turn into a werewolf. But I'm safe. I won't hurt you. We protect the tribe. The stories, those stores Billy tells, they're true. We are descended from wolves. And I think there's going to be more of us."
Kim was stunned. Shocked, stunned, befuddled, amazed. A thesaurus was needed to describe the shock she felt as she processed his words. He loved her but he's a werewolf? And Sam's a werewolf, too? She's Jared's mate? Imprint??
"Tell me about the imprint thing again," Kim spoke quietly. "Don't tell me about wolves yet, tell me about the imprint."
Jared had a half-smile. The imprint was the least crazy thing he had said, so that was a good sign if that was what she wanted to talk about.
"So, Sam tells me that this imprint thing is like finding your true love, your soul mate. The person you're meant to be with. That's why Sam left Leah for Emily. And when I saw you in the hallway last week, I knew what Sam meant. I just saw you, like it was the first time I'd ever seen you before, and I just knew. I knew that you're the one for me, and I had to be with you."
"So what changed? You've seen me every day for years and barely noticed me. Why me and why now?" Kim's thoughts were a mess. He loved her because he had to? He's a werewolf. But still, he did love her. He really did. That made her heart skip a beat.
Jared stood before her, tense, masculine, smelling of woods and musk. His fists were tightening. "That's what I'm trying to say. When I became a werewolf, I found my mate. That's you. And what I feel for you is love. I know we don't know each other very well, but I want to know everything about you. I want to spend all my time with you. I want to be by your side. I want to love you. I want to protect you and take care of you and I want you for mine, no one else -- I want you to be mine."
Shocked, stunned, befuddled, amazed. Kim felt all these emotions and more. Jared's words made no sense, but Kim was an ordinary girl who knew when not to think, but to feel. And she felt good. It was crazy, but it felt right. Looking at Jared, just knowing that his words were true, his feelings were genuine; it felt right.
Kim smiled a smile that grew into a grin. Jared noticed, and his lips mimicked hers. The tension loosened, his fists opened, and reached for her. She met him halfway and fell into his arms.
"Oh, Jared!" she cried as he squeezed her tight, whispering her name into her ear.
Kim wiped away the happy tears when they moved apart to breathe again. "Now, you said something about being a werewolf?"
Jared smiled. "I can turn into a wolf. Sam and I patrol at night; we make sure everyone's safe. Wanna see?"
As if showing off a new Christmas present, Jared stepped back and ran, suddenly bursting out of his skin into a big furry wolf.
Kim was dumbfounded, but unafraid. He ran back to her, and then knelt down beside her like a big dog. She moved her hand towards his ears, noting that he kept his head bowed to her; she carefully scratched his ears. He almost purred. She laughed.
"This is so cool, but I like you better as a human, Jared. Then you can kiss me."
Upon hearing those words, Jared-the-wolf leapt up, seemed to smile at her, and ducked behind a tree. Jared-the-boy came out from behind the tree, buttoning up his shorts.
He looked at her shyly, then grinned. She ran to him.
Jared. Loves. Me.