The Beginning of Darkness
A Star Wars: The Force Awakens prequel one shot

My fingers wiggled in the air, spinning a hovering piece of x-wing space junk in random patterns. The twilight was cool and clear, and if I hadn't been swaddled in the high grass, I might have longed for a jacket, or one of those ridiculous cloaks some of the more pretentious students wore. Even if I had been cold, I was far too comfortable looking up at the blossoming stars, wondering if I'd catch a glimpse of a fighter entering orbit.

"The Force isn't a toy."

With my concentration broken, the x-wing part dropped onto my gut, forcing a grunt out of me. I tilted my chin to gaze at the worn leather boots of the voice's owner. "I never said it was, Tiitus."

The young man who looked down at me, broad shouldered and an ever scowling face, crossed his arms. "Then don't treat it that way."

I bit my lip to stop myself from giving him a scathing retort. Instead, I took my time rolling onto my side and sitting myself up in the grass with my legs crossed. There was no way I was about to get up out of my perfectly smooshed spot on the grass. If he wanted to talk, which I suspected he did or he wouldn't have come all the way out to join me, then he could sit in the grass. I picked up the piece of metal and rolled it about my hands. Without the Force. "What do you want?"

Tiitus shifted his weight, once, then twice, before throwing his big, muscular form onto the ground beside me. It was a less-than-graceful movement that he was always being reprimanded for by Master Skywalker, and mocked at by the other students. Except one, and I wasn't counting myself. "Ren wouldn't approve."

I looked away from him, studying the crevices of the machine to keep from rolling my eyes. "Ren doesn't exist."

"Yes, he does."

"That's not his name. His name is a perfectly fine name. Boring, but fine." I glanced at Tiitus, who was stretching his legs out on my peaceful piece of real estate. "I like the name Ben."

Tiitus wiggled his booted feet. "His name is Ren."

I couldn't stop myself, I had to roll my eyes. "Fine."

My companion heaved a sigh, whether it was out of contentment or something else, I wasn't sure. Tiitus was notoriously hard to read, which was probably why Ben had recruited him to his rebellious cause. I, on the other hand, wasn't always sure of my part, nor was I sure how I ended up in it.

"He says tomorrow."

I tensed. Tomorrow. My attention turned back to the stars. Somewhere out there was a poor, out of the way, Outer Rim planet where people were used like livestock, and if I had lived to the age I was now on that planet, I would have been quite the prize for someone like the Hutts. But I wasn't there. I had been rescued, given an opportunity to use a power that I'd never known about to make changes actually happen. Master Skywalker had given me that, but I wasn't so sure I was cut out for the peaceful approach that he preached. My planet needed changes and they people couldn't stand by any longer waiting for them.

But Master Skywalker had given me life. Would Ren only offer me death? Sometimes, when I saw his eyes, I knew death was waiting, and I could accept it as long as it waited for me to save my planet.

"Tomorrow," I breathed.

"Mmm hmmm." Tittus had his eyes closed and his head thrown back to the stars. There would never be another moment like this one. "They'll never see it coming."

Of course not. No one ever saw betrayal from the very students were supposed to revere them. A knife twisted in my heart. I had to remember my planet.

We sat that way, quiet, breathing in the dampness of the ground beneath us. Everything was beautiful, bathed in moonlight; everything was alive. I refused to look behind me, at the home I had built over the years, and the man who had welcomed me to it. I wanted to remember this one pure moment so that when death was scattered around me, I could remember that I was human; that I had once been happy. But happiness had to be sacrificed to help others; that much I had learned from Master Skywalker.

Without warning, Tittus jumped to his feet, towering over me. "You might want to get some sleep, Luula. Ren is going to need you at the top of your game. There can't be any slips."

"I know, Tiitus."

He nodded and a moment of understanding passed between us. "Good. Tomorrow. Tomorrow will be a good day." A big hand patted my shoulder. I wanted to shake it off, but I let it rest there until Tittus left me. His big boots clomped away from me.

I didn't move, but my hands clenched and my fingers shook. They would call me: Traitor. Fallen. Lost. No one would be there to save me, redeem me from my life now. There would be no Master Skywalker to pull a poor, scrawny, frightened girl out of the darkness. I would simply be there, forever blanketed in black. A face covered in a mask and whispered about in nightmares. Tiitus and some of the others might find a special thrill in that reputation, but I dreaded it.

I would do it.

My hands clenched into fists, and a rumble went through my chest. Beside me, the x-wing space junk collapsed in on itself. It became nothing more than a crumpled pile of metal.

Tomorrow would be the beginning. Or the end. Or both. I wasn't so sure I was going to have the privilege to see both. But I wanted to.

I didn't want to be so dark. Fighting it had only turned a working part into a crushed piece of metal. I didn't chose the dark, but the darkness has chosen me.

His name was Kylo Ren.

I didn't have a choice.