Fix You

Chapter: 1

Pairing: Robert & Holly

Rating: PG

March 1996

Holly Spencer absentmindedly twirled her wedding rings around on her finger as she stared into the starless night sky. A single tear fell down her cheek. Everything was such a mess. How the hell did she get here? She started to pull her wedding rings off. She got them halfway off her finger when she heard approaching foot steps which caused her to shove them back on and then quickly wipe away her fallen tear.

Mac made his way up the front stairs and onto the porch where Holly was sitting. The weather was unseasonably warm and it seemed as though she was taking advantage of it. He sat down beside her on the swing and drew her into his arms. They sat together silently for the longest time.

"I can't believe it's been only been four years." she finally said. "Feels like a lifetime ago."

"And some days it feels like it just happened yesterday." he added.

"You know, it's not true." she said. "Time doesn't heal all wounds."

He gently stroked her long, dark, curly hair. "I know." he sighed. "I just think that today of all days makes it harder."

"Robert's been on my mind all day." she said softly. "I can't seem to get him out of my head no matter how much I try."

"It's good to reflect sometimes." Mac said. "That way you know that the past is real and that you didn't imagine it."

"I have so many regrets." she said as her eyes filled with tears. "But the biggest regret is not telling Robert that I loved him before he left. I should have known that he wasn't going to come back." Holly buried her face in his shoulder as she began to cry. Mac continued to hold her close, gently rubbing her back in attempt to soothe her.

After several minutes she finally pulled away and wiped her eyes. "I shouldn't do this."

"It's okay to cry Holly." he assured her. "It's not good to hold it all in."

"Luke and the boys are going to be back soon." she told him. "I can't let them see me like this."

Mac gently wiped away another fallen tear. "Where did they go?"

"Luke took Lucky and Charlie fishing." she replied. "They left around six and Luke said they were only going to be out there a few hours. He thought that I needed a little time to myself." she said as she started crying all over again. "Something he thinks I apparently need a lot of."

Holly got up and walked across the porch. "Everything is so screwed up." she confessed as she stood against the porch railing, looking out into the yard which was scattered with toys. "I've really messed up this time, Mac."

He walked over to where she was standing and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Have you and Luke hit a rough patch?"

"Luke and I are at an impasse." she told him. "Our marriage is all but over."

"Holly, I'm so sorry." he said softly. "I didn't know."

"Noone does." she replied. "We've tried to work things out but we always end up arguing. I was a fool to think that things would be different this time around."

"Have you talked to Tiffany about this?" he asked.

"No." she answered. "I'm afraid that if I talk about it then it will make it all too real and then I'd have to admit what a huge mistake I made."

"Maybe you and Luke can work through this." he suggested.

"Maybe." she said softly. "Hopefully."

They watched as Luke's truck pulled into the driveway. He barely got stopped before Lucky and Charlie came charging toward the house. "Holly, look, I caught the biggest fish." Lucky said as he came running up the steps. "Hello Mac."

"Hello Lucky." he replied. "Did you have a good time?"

"The best." Lucky said as he held his fish up. "Isn't it beautiful? Dad said that we could clean them and eat them tomorrow for dinner."

Holly quickly wiped the rest of her tears away. "Did you catch more than your father?"

"Charlie caught more than dad." he said as he headed toward the door. "I have to call Mom and tell her about the fish."

Lucky disappeared into the house as Charlie slowly made his way up the steps with fish in his hand. "Mommy, mommy." he called out. "I catched a fish." he ran toward her and then stopped when he saw Mac. "Daddy!" he cried out as he looked up at Mac. "Look at my fish!"

Mac smiled. "That's a big fish for such a little guy to catch." he said. "Did you do it all by yourself?"

"Yes." Charlie replied. "Luke only hewlped a little." he added. "Mommy, touch the fish he's only a little slimy."

Holly leaned down and gently touched the fish in her son's hand. "I think he needs a bath."

Charlie smiled up at his mother. "We're gonna eat em."

Luke walked up onto the porch. "Charles here is a great fisher." he said as he applied a quick kiss to Holly's cheek. "Come on, buddy, we have to go and clean the fish."

As Luke and Charlie disappeared into the front door. Holly sighed heavily. "I think I need some alone time with Luke to sort everything out." she told him. "Can you keep Charlie for a few days?"

"Of course." he replied. "Take as long as you need."

"Thanks." she smiled.

tbc...