Author note: Well, I'm sorry if this offends anyone. I just thought it was funny (it was fun to write) I can't say it's completely original because some of the dialoges I got them from a forum of the game. I hope they don't get angry because I did this. I will ask them about it. After all, it's easy to delete a story. I hope you enjoy reading it.
By the way, this game and the characters in it don't belong to me. Neither Batman, Southpark or Naruto characters (they appear once)
Oh! and I used a bit too much the word "bitch". I hope it's fine rating it as "T"
A boy enters Granseal's school.
Elf girl: What's up, Bowie?
Bowie: Morning, Sarah! Hi, Chester!
But the centaur is asleep.
Sarah: Sir astral's not here yet. And Jaha hasn't arrived yet.
Astral appears.
Astral: Where is Jaha? Late? I'm gonna spank him soooo much….
Soldier enters: Sir Astral! You must come to the castle.
Astral: So they need more of my porn magazines…
Soldier: Cut the crap! The king is ill!
Sarah and Bowie: o.O
Chester: Zzzz…
Astral: Bitches, I'm going to the castle. Stay here.
He goes away
Bowie: Day off! Free time!
Sarah: We should follow him.
Bowie: Why? ¬.¬
Sarah: Because the story is like this, you moron! Besides I want to see the castle.
Bowie: I don't care.
Sarah: Please…:3
Bowie: No way.
Sarah: Don't make me bitch-slap you!
Bowie: Lets go! nn
Sarah: Wake up, e-mule-thing!
Chester: ZzzEu? I wasn't sleeping!
Bowie: Suuure…
They arrived to the castle's door
Guard: Why are you here?
Sarah pisses herself.
Sarah: They made me come! ToT
Bowie kicks her.
Bowie: We have come to see the king. We're strippers.
Sarah: O.o
Chester: O.O
Guard: Ok, go ahead. But later come here to a personal lap dance.
Bowie: S-sure.
They enter. Sarah bitch-slaps Bowie.
P.Elis: Is my father going to die?
Astral: Don't think so.
P.Elis: Aw… I wanted to be the queen…
Astral watch Bowie, Sarah & Chester. O.O He glares at them.
Bowie: No! He's glaring at us!
Sarah: With his glare Nº4!
Chester: I'm burning!
Astral: You disobeyed me! Die, bitches!
Minister: You can't kill the main bitches, Sir Astral!
Astral: Fine! But you're coming with me to the tower. I'll spank you later.
Minister: And what about the king?
Astral: I can spank him too.
Minister: No! I mean his illness!
Astral: He could die for what I care… I mean, he needs an exorcism. I'm going to find a devil to posses him.
Minister: o.O WTF?
In the tower, they see a devil.
Astral: Perfect! That gizmo could posses the king.
Gizmo: Do not want! Roar!
Astral: Bowie, defeat him!
Bowie: WTH?
Sarah pisses herself… again.
Chester: You start to stink, bitch.
Sarah bitch-slap Chester.
Chester shits himself (he's half horse after all…)
Gizmo: This is too nasty! I surrender!
Everyone: Yay!
The gizmo possesses the king. Sir Astral unpossessed him. Astral is ill.
Sarah: What can we do to help Sir Astral?
Minister: You should go to Yeel to get captured… I mean, to contact Hawel about the tower.
Bowie: Thank you Sarah ¬.¬
Sarah: 9,9
Chester: Zzzz…
At the main door they find Jaha the dwarf (Mini-me)
Bowie: We're going to Yeel, You coming, Smurf?
Jaha: Sure thing! And call me Smurf again and I'll shove this axe through your…
Bowie: Upsie!
Sarah: Let's go, Bitches!
In Yeel…
Sarah: We're lost!
Chester: That shortcut through Prompt was not good.
Bowie: Can you help, Spiky-hair?
Kazin: I'm Kazin, the Emo-Mage servant of Hawel.
Chester: Do you have cookies?
Kazin: At home, Wanna come?
Everyone: Yay, cookies!
They found Hawel injured
Kazin: Master! You're dieing!
Hawel: Shut up, slave! I'm just bleeding from the butt. Those galam soldiers…
Kazin: My master is dieing! TTTT
Hawel: I'm alive!
Kazin: I don't want you to die! TTTT
Hawel: Helloooo!
Kazin: Don't die, Master! TTTT
Sarah bitch-slaps him.
Bowie: Why did galam soldiers came?
Hawel: They stole my porn!
Kazin: What will I do without a master? Who will spank me?
Sarah: I'll do! n.n
Hawel: That porn is something the ancients led me. There is more in the tower of Granseal. Bitch, Recover my porn! Ò.Ó
Kazin: Eeeek! Hawel have come from the dead. He's a stinky zombie!
Hawel: No, the elf-bitch is the one who stinks.
Chester: You haven't changed your panties yet, don't you?
Sarah: Which panties?
Kazin: Die, you zombie! BLAZE!!!
Hawel dies.
Kazin: I'll avenge my master! (and recover his porn) TTTT
Bowie: You're really fucked up, emo-dude.
Kazin: Bitch-boss, I'm joining your Bitch Force.
Bowie: Ok… U.U
They found Galam soldiers and his Captain, Lemon.
Kazin: You killed Hawel!
Kail: You Bastards!
Sarah bitch-slaps Kail. He goes back to Southpark, Colorado.
Bowie: Return the porn, Yaoi!
Lemon: I'm Lemon not Yaoi, jerk! And about the porn issue…No way!
FIGHT!
LOSE!
JAIL!
In galam jail.
Minister: Wake up, bitch!
Chester: I was not asleep!
Minister: Shut up, bitch. I was referring to your Bitch-boss.
Bowie: What's up baldie?
Minister: War!
Everyone: WTF?
Minister: King Galam suddenly wants the porn in Ancient Tower.
Sarah: Hey, Micky mouse! Get us out from here.
Rat: No. You'll bitch-slap me when you discover I'm the starter of all this.
Everyone: How?
Rat: I stole Galam porn and the two jewels protecting the Ground Seal. I'm Slade.
Chester: …Don't touch our jewels, bitch!
Slade: Aw…
He let them free. They escape but soldiers found them.
Sold1: Those bitches escaped!
Sold2: Spank them!
FIGHT!
WIN!
While Sarah heals Chester and Kazin, Bowie and Slade took the Jewel of Light. It fuses to Bowie's neck.
Everyone: WTH?
Bowie: Now I have three jewels!
Sarah bitch-slaps him.
They went back to Granseal's Castle.
King: Galam is with Elis!
Lemon: Wait till he rapes her!
Astral: If we wait he will steal our porn. Lets go!
Everyone go with them.
Devil-Batman bites Lemon. He apparently dies.
Sarah bitch-slaps Batman. He returns to Gotham.
The rest go to the tower. The three and the force found Galam and Elis.
K.Galam: Bye, bitches! I'm going to a dimension were the evil gathers and there is tons of tentacle porn.
Chester: OMG! Tentacle porn!
Sarah bitch-slaps Chester.
K.Galam and Elis began to levitate to a black huge hole which nobody have noticed till now. ¬.¬
Astral: Bowie, you're good at performing acrobatics!
Bowie: Is he referring to the fact that I can suck my…
Astral kicks him to Galam: Save her! She's got my porn!
Bowie hold himself with Elis dress and Galam Jewel of Evil.
K.Galam: Bitch! Don't touch my Jewels!
P.Elis: Oro?
Bowie falls with half the dress and the Jewel. (It fuses to his neck too)
P.Elis: Eeeek!!!
K.Galam. No! Without the Jewell I can't see in the darkness. How will I read the porn now? Damn you Bitch!
They disappear in the hole.
K.Granseal: My whore-daughter is gone. Who will spank me now?
Minister: I'll do! n.n
Everything trembles.
Everyone: Lets get out!
In their way out they found a little green monster.
Kiwi: Kiwi-kiwi!
Slade: WTH is that thing?
Kiwi: Kiwi!
Sarah: It's kinda cute!
Chester: I think it's a pokemon.
Bowie: I'll call him Kiwi!
Jaha: Why?
Bowie: Because it's small, round and green.
Granseal disappears in a chasm and everyone is saved by the ships. They leave Grans Island and go to Parmecia. They found New Granseal and build it in two years. Then it's time to go exploring. An old weird bald bird appears.
Bird: Who are you, invader bitches?
Minister: We're the habitants of Grans Island.
Bird: Is there where the porn gathers?
Everyone: …
Bird: I mean, where evil gathers? I'm Peter, a phoenix.
Minister: The legendary bitch! I mean bird…
Peter: Legendary? WTF? You're weird people. I'll take some of you with me to offer God Volcanon in sacrifice.
Minister: Fine! Wait a minute… Bitch Force!
Bowie appears.
Minister: Follow this bird to…(Thinks an excuse…) make alliances with other people?
Bowie: OK!
Peter: You got that right, bitch!
In their way to Ribble village they found devil enemies
FIGHT!
Peter finish off all the enemies. He only does that. The rest of the force weakened them.
Chester: That fucking bird doesn't let us get exp.!
Everybody Glares at Peter. ¬.¬
Peter: 9,9
Sarah: bitch-blast him. He explodes, dies and come back.
Kazin: A stinky zombie! Die! BLAZE! TTTT
Peter dies again. He resurrect again.
Kazin: A zombieX2! This is even more zombie than the other. TTTT
Peter: Excuse me…
Kazin: Die! BLAZE!
Peter dies again. He resurrect again.
Kazin : That's a Concentrated zombie! TTTT
Peter: Wait…
Kazin: Die! BLAZE!
Peter dies AGAIN. He resurrect AGAIN.
Kazin: It's a Ghoul! TTTT
Peter: Emo-bitch, could you stop doing that?!
Kazin: Die! BLA…
Sarah bitch-slaps Kazin.
Peter: Thank you Sarah.
Sarah: My hand hurts…
Slade: You bitch-slap too much, bitch!
Sarah bitch-kicks him in the groin.
Slade:
Sarah: You're right, bitch! This is much better.
Everyone get a step away from Sarah.
They arrive to Ribble.
Hippie Man1: Look! They have weapons! They are evil people!
Hippie Man2: Run away!
B. Force: …¬.¬
A female centaur appears. She carries a bazooka.
May: Evil devils, die!
B. Force: Ekkkk!
Peter stops her.
Peter: They are not devils. They are just bitches. You can't kill the main bitches.
May: And you?
Peter: I'm a phoenix!
May: The legendary bird!
Peter: Legendary? What's wrong with you, people?
Bowie: We fight against the Devil army…
May: Why?
Bowie: It's in the script, See?
He lends her a notebook.
May: Here says I join you.
Bowie: Ok!
May: But I don't want to join! I'm fine in here!
Neji Hyuuga appears.
Neji: You can't go against destiny.
Sarah bitch-kick him in the groin. He goes back to Konoha.
Sarah: I like hitting people! I'm going to be a MasterBitch!
B. Force: …
Sarah: I mean, a MasterMonk.
May becomes a Bitch!
I mean… May joins the Bitch Force!
They travel together a lot. They became friends and by the time they arrive to the Cavern of Darkness, Peter has decided not to sacrifice any of them to Volcanon, except Kazin, who still Blazes him whenever he can.
They enter the cavern.
Jaha: I can't see!
Chester: It's very dark…
Slade: Well, it's called the cavern of darkness, you know… ¬.¬
Sarah tries to bitch-kick Slade in the groin but misses.
Slade: Aw…I can't bitch-hit if I can't see!
Everyone else: Yippy!
Peter: I heard this was the house of a hobgoblin.
Hobgoblin: You got that right, bitch!
Sarah: It's the Hobgoblin!
Slade: Where is he?
Chester: Dunno. Where are you?
Jaha: Who are you talking to?
Bowie: Who are you?
May: Who I am?
Kazin: Why am I emo?
Sarah starts bitch-slapping everyone she can
Peter-Stupid bitches! ¬.¬
Jaha: I found the way out!
B-Force: Where?
Jaha: Dunno, when I came to say this to you I've lost myself again.
Sarah tries to bitch-blast him but misses and hit the Hobgoblin.
Hobgoblin defeated!
They are lost some years. To know about that time… Well, I suppose you can play "Shining in the darkness" or something.
They eventually go out from the cavern and arrive to Polca village, next to Mount Volcano.
Peter: My village, Bedoe is in Mt Volcano. We should go there to see God Volcanon.
Then an earthquake sends them to the ground.
Slade: WTF!
Peter: That's Volcanon power. He seems to be angry. It must be your fault, bitches.
B-Force: Why the fuck?
Peter: Because that way he won't spank me.
A blind purple haired boy appears and faints.
Peter: What a wuss!
Bowie: Hey, you! Yeah, the old fat mayor! Take care of him.
Old fat mayor: Why?
Bowie: Do you want her to bitch-slaps you?
Sarah: nn
O-f-Mayor: I'll take care of him!
Sarah: Aw…
They arrive to Bedoe main door:
Birdman1: Don't pass through here, bitches!
Birdman2: Let's spank them!
Peter: Excuse me?
B1: Oh! It's Master Peter!
Peter: That's right bitch! I'm going to see Volcanon with them.
B2: But you can only go with one. The other bitches stay here.
Peter: Why?
B1: We've suffered the devil's attack. We're now paranoids.
Peter: Ok! Let's go, Bowie.
They met King Bedoe.
K.Bedoe: I see you've returned, Peter.
Peter: Glad you start using glasses: ¬.¬
K.Bedoe: Volcanon is angry, bitch! What did you do to him?
Peter: Nothing… 9,9
K.Bedoe: Really?
Peter: Well… maybe I… kind of … stole his porn… by mistake.
K.Bedoe: So you really did something to him? I was just testing you… But I'm glad.
Peter: You are?
K.Bedoe: Sure thing! Now it's you who is gonna be spanked.
Peter: Crap…
They go to a chapel where a giant statue is. Bowie stares at it.
Bowie: Mmmm…. I wonder if he's trying to compensate something….
Then, lasers starts to glow in the statue's eyes towards Bowie.
Bowie: Ekkk!
Peter: Volcanon, wait! You can't kill the main bitch!
The lasers begins to turn to Peter.
Peter: By the way, King Bedoe gave me this before I went away. I think they must be yours…
He let on the floor some porn magazines. The glow in the eyes disappears.
Bowie: Lying bitch…
Volcanon: I'm going to leave K. Bedoe's ass like the Japanese flag! Anyway… Peter, who is this bitch?
Peter: This is Bowie from Granseal.
The eyes glow again.
Volcanon: Fucking Granseal Bitch! Die!
Peter: WTF!
Volcanon: Granseal people released Zeon, the devil Bitch. He will spread his bitchingness throughout the entire world.
Peter: And what will you do?
Volcanon: I'm gonna spank this Granseal bitch.
Peter: No! I mean about Zeon!
Volcanon: Nothing. The world has been saved by the Bitch Force many times in the past. You'll do it!
Peter: You're not gonna help us?
Volcanon: I can't say that I will help you because that way the devils will think that I will not help you when fact is that I don't want them to think that I think that they'll think that I'll help them helping you by not helping you at all.
Peter. Ah! That's very clever!
Bowie: WTF?! 0.o
Volcanon: Bowie! You're the chosen one! Your jewels are no ordinary ones.
Bowie: He,he! I always knew MY jewels were great. Any chick could notice that!
Peter slaps Bowie.
Volcanon: Peter, before you go. Can you tell King Bedoe to come? I have to discuss with him about this magazines…
Peter: Hey, king! Volcanon called you!
K. Bedoe: I'm coming! Luke, go to Polca and get a raft ready. They'll go to the west and see if Mitula in Tristan is fine. Dr Rohde will help you in Hassan.
Luke: Sure!
They exit Bedoe. The others are playing strip poker.
Sarah: You lose Chester.
Chester: But I have no more clothes left to take off!
Sarah: Then start putting on these.
She lends him slave-clothes.
Bowie: Let's go back to Polca!
Then a pigeon falls over Bowie's head.
Motherbird: You saved my son, skrech!
Jaha: Shrek?
Sarah: Is that a word in your birdmen language?
Slade: No, I think it's something birds usually say. Like "woof" for dogs…
In Polca they found devils threatening people.
Devil1: Give us Odd…
The bitch Force interrupted them.
Bowie: Evil bitches, die!
Kazin: Look! Zombies! BLAZE! TTTT
FIGHT!
Jaha: These devils are stronger than the others.
Slade: This Bitch Force needs another bitch.
A beast-man appears and starts destroying devils with great force.
May: What a tank!
WIN!
Peter: Thank you, bitch!
Gerhalt: Fighting alongside you surely will help me controlling my killing instincts. I'm Gerhalt, a beast man.
Gerhalt joins the Bitch Force!
They go to the house the purple haired boy is.
Old fat man: Ekkk! Don't kill me! Take my porn, but don't kill me!
Bowie: WTF?
Peter: This bitch is fucked up…
O-f-man: Oh, It's you! Well, thank you for saving us.
Jaha: It was noth…
O-f-man: Now, get the fuck out of here! You and this boy attract devils.
Sarah: Well, I'm so pretty…
Bowie bitch-slap Sarah.
Luke: I've got a raft prepared for us.
Peter: Us?
Luke: Of course. By now King Bedoe will have notice your trick with Zeon's magazines. I'm not going to return now. He'll need somebody to spank and I'm not going to be that somebody.
Bowie: Glad your purpose of joining are so noble… ¬.¬
Luke joins the Bitch force!
Bowie: Ok, let's go. Who are you boy?
Boy: I can't remember. Besides I'm blind. I think my name sound something like Od-ai.
Cheter: Odd-gay? Surely your hair matches your name.
Bowie: You are odd, really… I'll call you Oddler.
Oddler: Ok!
Oddler go with the Bitch Force!
Then he falls due to some stairs.
Bowie: Could you watch where you're going?
Oddler: …You know what blind means?
They go through the river.
Chester: There is much left? I can't sleep in here!
Jaha: When do will get there?
Slade: We've been here so long…
Bowie: Shut the fuck up! We'll be there when we get there!
Just before arriving the raft stopped.
Slade: What happened?
Bowie: I dunno, Oddler, can you see something special out there?
Oddler: What part of "I'm blind" don't you get?!
Jaha: Look! A tentacle!
The tentacle grabs May arm.
Chester: OMG! Tentacle porn!
Sarah bitch-kicks Chester in the groin.
Peter: It's a kraken! A sea monster!
Jaha: This is more like a river monster…
Sarah bitch-slaps Jaha.
Bowie: Oddler! Beware of that tentacle over there!
Oddler: WTH? Auch!
Bowie: What's wrong with you? Are you blind or something?
Oddler: … And you must be deaf…
Fight!
There is a great fight between May, Sarah and the tentacle monster. The others sit to watch the show.
Cheter: What I said before.
Slade: But they aren't wearing schoolgirls uniform… ó.ò
Kazin: We should help them…
Bowie: Let them ten more minutes.
WIN!
Sarah heals some bleeding noses. After that, she and May bitch-kick them all in the groin. Then they enter Hassan.
Bowie: Hey! This is my father's village!
Jaha: Really? It's a bit far from Grans…
Bowie: Well, he was the leader of the previous Bitch Force and traveled a lot. He's Max's nephew, who was also a leader of a Bitch Force.
Chester: How do you know that?
Bowie: I'm member of a Shining force web site.
Sarah: Psst! Bitch! Internet doesn't exist yet!
Bowie: Damn! Well… then… An angel called Moogie appeared in a dream explaining this all. Yeah, that's it…
Peter: Bitches, could you cut the crap?! Now we're seeing Dr Rhode, he…
Jaha: Who is he? A tourist agent?
Peter: Nope! He's just another bitch. But he knows how to get to Creed's mansion, he's…
May: Who is he? A possible ally?
Peter: Will you let me finish!!! He's an ex-devil. He'll help us.
Kazin: You're ally of a devil! I knew you were evil! Die! TTTT
Peter: Not again… ¬.¬
Kazin: BLA…
Sarah bitch-slaps Kazin.
Peter: Thanks, Sarah! Bowie, why the fuck did you let this blaze-bitch to join you?
Bowie: Well, all this kind of group needs an emo-character, so…
Jaha: Can we see Rohde now? U.U
Kiwi: Kiwi, Kiwi!
Chester: nodding Sure!
Slade: Do you understand what he said?
Chester: Of course!
Slade: And?
Chester: He said Kiwi-Kiwi.
Sarah bitch-kicks Chester in the groin.
They enter Rohde's house.
Rohde: I'm sorry, I'm busy now. I'm only interested in ancients' objects and time is dear to me. Just go.
Bowie takes out his blade and points it to his throat.
Bowie: You were saying?
Rohde: Um… Hellooooo! I'm so glad to have visitors….What bring you here? Can I offer you some porn and cookies?
Bowie: Mmm… Porn and cookies…
Sarah bitch-slaps Bowie.
Peter: Coward bitch! You said you were only interested in ancients' objects.
Rohde: Well…Umm, that sword is ancient, yeah!
Bowie: Really?
Rohde: Yes! It's the… (Let me invent a name…) Aquilles' sword! It's the only which can beat Taros.
Peter: Taros?
Rohde: The guardian of the caravan. The caravan is a tank that can carry you wherever you want.
Peter: That's interesting. Guide us!
They go to Taros' shrine in the west.
Taros: Stop!
Bowie: What the hell is that thing? O.o
Rohde: Didn't I mention that Taros was a giant of more than 40 feet?
Bowie starts kicking him.
Taros: Stop or I'll attack you!
May: What should we do? The caravan is behind him.
Jaha: Maybe if we ask him politely…
Taros: Time's up! Now I'll attack!
Slade: Yeah! You and what army?
Then a bunch of enemies appears.
Slade: Crap!
Luke: You really had to ask, didn't you? ¬.¬
FIGHT!
WIN!
Rohde appears from nowhere.
Rohde: We did a great job here!
Bowie: We? Where were you, bitch?
They approach the caravan.
Peter: What the…?
Bowie: It's just me or the damn thing is smaller than Kiwi?
Rohde: Well, I had never seen it. Let me have a look…
He approaches to the entrance and disappears. Then the machine starts to move and goes away.
Kazin: He's gone, what are we gonna do now? We'll never be able to reach or destiny, we're doomed! WE… TTTT
Sarah bitch-slaps Kazin.
Bowie: Thanks, Sarah.
Peter: The bitch's gone! He lied to us!
Then the caravan comes back and knocks Peter over.
Rohde: Shut up, fucking bald turkey! I never lie! This machine can carry miniaturised people in it. I'll go with you as a driver!
Rohde carries the Bitch Force!
Luke: Let's go to Creed's!
Sarah: Why don't we go back to Hassan to rest a while?
Bowie: Ok!
They were going to enter Hassan when a centaur-boy appears apparently from nowhere.
B-Force: Ekkk!
Slade kicks him: Don't scare us this way, Bitch!
Rick: Sorry! Are you the legendary bitches that kicked the legendary Kraken's ass?
Peter: I guess…
Rick: Oh! You're a legendary Phoenix!
Peter: Why does everyone says…?
Rick: You're legendary heroes who beat legendary evil wherever it is! I can see your journey will be legendary! I'll join you! The justice and peace will be preserved in all this legendary land.
Bowie: Yeah, whatever…
Rick joins the Legendary Bitch Force!
Thanks to the Caravan, the B-Force is able to arrive to the elven town, where they asked for directions. They found there a vigor ball.
Sarah: Cool! Here is printed how to become a Master Monk.
Slade: Just what we need… ¬.¬
Sarah tries to cast Dispel on Slade to silence him, but it doesn't work. So she kicks him instead.
Next to a cave Oddler made them stop.
Oddler: Wait, I hear something!
Bowie: I don't… Sarah, I told you not to give him so much medical herb! Now he's hallucinating!
Oddler: ¬.¬ … Follow me!
They follow him to a pond where an elven boy is trapped.
E-boy: Help me!
They take him out.
E-boy: Thank you! Those Harpies might have eaten me.
Bowie: What Harpies?
E-boy points behind them: Those!
Harpy1: Our dinner is escaping!
Harpy2: No, he's just bringing us the 2nd dish.
Bowie starts kicking Oddler: Thank you a lot, stupid bitch!
FIGHT!
WIN!
E-boy: Thanks again. I'll repay you guiding you to Creed's mansion. By the way my name is E-boy. I mean, Elric.
They arrive to Creed's mansion.
Goliath: Who are you bitches?
Bowie: We're the Bitch Force and want to see Creed.
Goliath: Creed is busy now. Time is dear to him. Now, get the fuck out!
Rohde: This sounds familiar…
Peter: Ok, we're going…
Oddler: No! We should force our entrance!
Bowie: Why do you say "we"?! As if you're going to do something…
Goliath: I can hear you, you know?
Peter: Let's go to the door and then suddenly go back to that door on the left!
Goliath: Do you hear me?
Bowie: Ok! Let's do it!
Goliath: Hellooo?
They tried to do it, but they are caught.
Peter: How did he catch us?
Bowie: Maybe he can read minds…
Goliath: ¬.¬ Ok, bitches! You wanna enter here? Ok, Wish granted!
And he made them small as cockroaches and let them on a desk that seems to them like a soccer field on "Captain Tsubasa" (Aka "Oliver & Benji")
Jaha: There are people in here!
Kazin: Mini people like us… TTTT
Rick appears suddenly behind Peter.
Rick: Don't worry justice mates! In the end the justice will prevail!
Peter: Ekk! ... You start to annoy me, you know?
Rick: :3
King Pompei: Welcome to Desktop kingdom!
Peter: What a stupid name…
Bowie: We wanna go!
K-Pompei: Aw… But I'm bored. I know! You win me at a chess game and I'll show you the exit.
Peter: Why don't you get a life?
Bowie: Ok… Bitches! Who knows how to play chess?
Rohde: I do!
K. Pompei:3
They follow the king to a giant chess field.
Jaha: What the…?
K. Pompei: Didn't I mention it was a live action chess play?
Peter: What kind of medical herbs have you smoked?
Bowie: Yeah, I want some…
Sarah bitch-slaps Bowie.
FIGHT!
WIN!
The King guides them to… the right side of the desk.
Slade: I thought you were going to show us the way out!
K. Pompei: No! I said I'd show you the exit. How to go out is on your own.
Slade and Jaha start to kick the King.
Kazin: We're trapped in here! We'll never be able to defeat… TTTT
Sarah bitch-slaps Kazin.
Fed up with so much bitch-slapping, Kazin tries to cast Desoul on her but misses (fucking desoul spell!) so he kicks her instead.
May: What shall we do now?
Rohde: We could use the Caravan. It climbs up and goes down like a spider.
Peter: Why you…
Bowie: You knew it all along, didn't you?
Rohde: Sure! But I like to play chess.
Slade and Jaha stop kicking the King and start kicking Rohde with the help of Peter, Bowie, May and Sarah. Then Rick appears in the middle of them and says something like "Justice's waiting for us", scaring all of them. Annoyed, they kick him too.
Well, at last they left the desktop and find Creed with a fairy.
Peter: Hello!
Creed: Ew! Cockroaches! Goliath! I've told you to clean better!
He's gonna trample them…
B-Force: Ekkk!!! O.O
Creed: Just joking, LOL.
He makes them big again.
Fairy: Who are you guys?
Bowie: We're the Bitch-Force. Zeon's been released and we have to reseal him again.
Creed: Zeon? OMFG! Follow me!
Only Bowie, Peter, Slade, Oddler and Sarah follow them. May, Rick and Chester can't go downstairs without great difficulty (centaurs…Besides Chester was asleep). The others are looking at the porn in the bookshelves.
They arrive to a room where an altar is.
Peter: And now?
Creed: Yeen, queen, tiloora, siloora….
Bowie: Ok, You're creeping me out!
Fairy: He's invoking an evil spirit.
Creed: Kuchiyose no jutsu! (Invoking technique)
Then, a big round ugly face appears.
Sarah: Ekkk!
Slade piss himself.
Ugly Head: What's up Creed?
Creed: Zeon. Tell me about him.
Ugly Head: The place he was sealed is darkened, I can't see a thing. In North Parmecia there is also darkness …
Creed: Maybe Mitula…
Peter: Show him your jewels, Bowie. They are related to Zeon.
Bowie: No way, you perverted freak!
Sarah bitch-slaps Bowie.
Bowie: Oh! You mean the two from my neck?
Peter: ¬.¬
Ugly Evil Spirit Head: Oh yeah! Yeah! I feel it! It's coming, it's coming!
Sarah smacks Evil spirit in the face, but misses. He's just a spirit after all… So she cast blast on him.
UESH: Ouch! Ok, ok! I can sense Zeon. He hasn't revived fully yet. I also sense a whore with him.
Sarah: Could that be Princess Elis? I thought (and hoped) that she was dead…
Peter: But how can we beat Zeon?
Creed: That's easy for him to know. Tell them!
UESH: To defeat Zeon you just have to…
They get interrupted by some members of the Force that are already bored of Creed's old porn.
Kazin: OMG!!! That's an evil spirit! Die! BLAZE! TTTT
He blows up Evil Spirit.
Creed: What the hell?
All the presents begins to kick Kazin.
Peter: You killed the only thing who knew how to defeat Zeon, emo-bastard!
Creed: Maybe Mitula could help you… But she seems to have problems right now.
Rick appears suddenly from nowhere.
Peter: Ekkk!
Rick: We must save the goddess of earth for the peace and justice of this world!
Peter: Stop doing that, annoying brat!!!
Creed: I can only help you with 4 warriors to join your group:
The sailor senshi healer Karna: In the name of Rune I'll punish you!
The ugly face warrior Randolf: Who you call ugly, fuck face?
The old weird mage Tyrin: …
The snob stupid knight Eric: I'm better than you all! Where is my sword?
The force goes back to New Granseal. They buy new weapons there and get promoted:
Bowie promoted to BIHO (Bitch-Hero)
Sarah promoted to MBCH (Master-Bitch)
Chester promoted to SPPN (Sleepy-Paladin)
Jaha promoted to BLBN (Blue-Baron)
Kazin promoted to EMOW (Emo-Wizard)
Slade promoted to CHNJ (Chuunin-Ninja)
Peter promoted to ICTK (Ironic-Turkey)
May promoted to 4LSP (4-Legs-Sniper)
Luke promoted to NUCH (Non-Usefull-Character)
Rick promoted to PWRG (Power-Ranger)
Elric promoted to SKSP (Skinny-Sniper)
Karna promoted to PGSS (Pretty-Guardian-Sailor-Senshi)
Randolf promoted to UGGL (Ugly-Gladiator)
Tyrin promoted to IMTR (Ice-Master)
Eric promoted to PITA (Pain-In-The-Ass)
Kiwi promoted to NCDG (Non-Cute-Dragon)
Gerhalt promoted to HKWF (Hulk-Wolf)
Gerhalt is transformed in a big green hairy beast.
Gerhalt: Gerhalt angry!
Everyone: O.o
Gerhalt: Gerhalt smash!
Evertone: Ekkk!!!
Gerhalt starts destroying the chapel. Everyone pee their pants and run away except May and Sarah who start to hug him.
May: Awwwwwww! Look all that hair… Kawaii!
Sarah: So much cute… Like a Teddy Bear!
Gerhalt begins to puke and returns to normal.
Jaha: Um… guys? I think we forgot something…
Chester: Upsie! We forgot about Oddler in Creed's mansion.
Peter: For the best, he was kinda annoying.
King New Granseal: Well, tell us what happened.
They do it.
King New Granseal: So my whore-daughter could be still alive?
Astral: We'll go to Tristan to take Mitula's advice.
Bowie: We?
Astral: Of course I'm coming along. Mitula is the hottest chick in SFII.
Sarah bitch-slaps Sir Astral
Sir Astral tags along with the Bitch Force!
Skinny elf girl: Excuse me!
Elric: Oh no! She's followed me!
He hides behind Chester.
S-E-G: I think my slave Elric is with you. So I'm joining you.
Janet (S-E-G's name) joins the Bitch Force!
An "unknown" voice comes behind Chester: He's at headquarters, wait him there.
S-E-G: Ok ;3
Everyone glares at Elric.
Elric: That's my girlfriend, Janet. A nymphomaniac that only wants sex from me. It was exhausting! u.u
Slade: Ooook… Shall we go already? There aren't many things in this town left to steal…
Everyone glare at Slade.
Slade: Ups! Did I say that aloud?
Everyone start kicking Slade (Including the King and the Minister)
They went to North cliff and enter a cave. Of course they get lost. For more info, search Shining in the darkness 2.
Peter: Psst! Bitch! Shining in the darkness 2 doesn't exist!
Author: Who are you calling bitch, fucking bird?! Do you want me to create in this story a thanksgiving day's dinner, annoying "TURKEY"?
Peter: Ekkk!
When the Bitch Force get out from the cave, they arrive to a town full of unwelcoming signals. So they don't stay too much. In the exit they find a curious scene.
Little-green-ugly-devil: You were going to south Parmecia to get new porn, didn't you?
Centaur: Um…well…could be…
Green-Ugly….: Paladins of Pacalon are sex-maniacs! Higgins, haven't you any pride? Bitch!
Higgins bitch 1: Shut up! Sir Higgins is the best soldier!
Higgins: Give me more praise or I'll spank you later
Higgins bitch 2: He's the biggest soldier!
Higgins: That's better, bitch!
Green-Ug….: Let's cut the crap!
Two lizard men screw Higgins' bitches.
Higgins: You're not an ordinary devil…
Geshp: You got that right bitch! I'm Geshp, Zeon's 2nd favorite whore!
Higgins: You could have screwed me long time ago. Why am I still alive?
Geshp: You'll see, smart-ass!
A demon appears and begins to enter Higgins' body to posses him.
Geshp: Soon you'll be another whore in the devil army, MWAHAHAHA!!!
Astral: We won't let you enter him that way!
Bowie: Yeah! You could at least have used some lube!
Sarah bitch-slaps Bowie.
Karna: We'll punish you!
Gesph: Who are you? A whore-unit from the south? Where did you come from?
Peter: Um… from the south… ¬.¬
Bowie: And from Grans island.
Then a ring tone is heard. Geshp takes out a cell phone from his robes.
Geshp: Yes? Oh! Hi, Master Zeon... Aha…. Mm… Sure! Really? No way!...
Bowie: Em…
Geshp: Hey! This conversation is private! I'm going now but my army will screw you. Bye!
And he disappears.
FIGHT!
WIN!
They look at Higgins.
Peter: Is this bitch alive?
Astral: No.
Kazin starts to cry like a baby. TT.TT
Jaha: Jeez…
May: Aw… he was really big… I don't want him to die!
Astral: He's not dead.
Bowie: WTF?
Astral: I think he's now a Vampire.
Sarah bitch-slaps Kazin before he does something.
Higgins: Wha…What happened?
Slade: Are you ok?
Higgins: Yup! I feel better than ever. But I'm thirsty.
Everyone get a step away from Higgins.
Higgins: Anyway, that can wait. Are you from the south?
May: Yes.
Higgins: Great! In Pacalon we need more people to fight devils. Come with me!
Sarah: But we have to see Mitula!
Higgins: I've got porn there for you…
Astral: Let's go to Pacalon first to read…
He saw Sarah's hand approaching.
Astral: I mean, to rest and help those people against devils.
Rick appears suddenly behind them: Sure thing! Let's save this land!
Peter kicks him, annoyed.
They arrive to Pacalon. They found it's a town of centaurs
In the castle they find Vicar Frayja.
Vicar Frayja: I've committed a terrible sin… I need a punishment.
A centaur appears with a whip: Come to my room! I'll punish you there!
Peter rolled eyes.
Astral: So, let's go now?
Bowie: Yeah! I'm feeling quite insecure in here. "glances to centaur's crotches"
Before arriving Tristan, they arrive to Pangoat bridge, where they see problems.
Slade: Look at that hot chick surrounded by monsters!
Chester: OMG! Tentacle porn!
Sarah bitch-kicks him in the groin.
Karna jumps into the bridge: Stop right there! I can't forgive you monsters for attacking a NPC. I'm the pretty warrior who fights for love and justice! And in the name of the Bitch Force, I'll punish you!
A giant worm bitch-slaps her.
Peter: Thanks, Giant Worm!
Hot-chick: Stop being jerks and help me! Help!
Jaha: Let's help her. Maybe she'll be very, very grateful later.
FIGHT!
WIN!
Hot-chick: Thank you! Can you help me? I sprained my leg.
All excited Bowie: Sure!
But Sir Astral goes there first.
Astral: Let me do it!
Angry Bowie: Ok…
Higgins: Let's go! Maybe in Tristan I can have a drink. I'm soo thirsty!
Everyone get a step far away from Higgins.
Astral: Wait!
Luke: What's now?
Astral: We can't go now.
Slade: Why not?
Hot-chick: Because of me. I'm Cameela. One of the main whores of Zeon.
Elric: How did you know she was a devil, Sir Astral?
Astral: Because she has blue skin, brainless elf!
Elric: Oh!
Peter: Why are you here, bitch?
Cameela: I'm here because of Bowie's jewels!
Bowie: You got that right, bitch! I've got such extremely great jewels even the devils fall for them. MWAHAHA!
Everyone glares at Bowie. Sarah bitch-kick him in the… jewels.
B: Ough!... Oh… You mean… on my neck?
Cameela: Weirdo…
Peter: Go away, bitch! You'll get nothing from us!
Cameela: Give it to me and I'll spare Sir Astral!
Astral: Think again, whore!
He throws her a Kamehameha.
Cameela: Ooops! What a surprising old bitch. I didn't thought of taking the jewel now anyway, but I was bored. Ok! See you soon, bitches!
She disappears.
Peter: Well, WTH was that?
Jaha: Who cares? We should go. Chester is asleep again.
May: Did a Dark mage cast sleep on him?
Jaha: No. He's always like that.
Chester: That's not true…Zzzz….
Higgins: Let's go! Mitula is waiting.
Rick: Justice is waiting too!
Peter: Don't appear like that, fucking brat! -
They finally arrive to Tristan, land of candy, cookies and cake. To go to Mitula's shrine they have first to enter a cave and… Yes! You guessed it! They got lost AGAIN. They finally-finally arrive to the shrine.