My little brother gave this to me…

Tag to Dark Side Of The Moon

Takes place a couple of days after the ending of the episode….

Dean's eyes opened with a start! He looked up at the ceiling as best he could in the dark! He levered himself up slightly, leaning on an elbow so that he could see the clock. What the hell!!! It was 3am! Why on earth had he woken up at that time? And he was actually in a deep, restful sleep for once!!! He pulled himself up a little higher, squinting as he tried to make out anything untoward in the room. He gaze found the bed next to him. He knew then why he had woken up! Some things never change!

Instead of there being a great lump under the covers of that bed, the covers were still neatly laid over it and said lump was actually sitting on the edge of the bed with his back to Dean. Even in the soft, silvery glow of the moonlight that danced through the thin curtains, Dean could see Sam's shoulders shaking! He didn't hear a sound but he knew that Sam was crying! He let out a deep, but noiseless sigh! He couldn't deal with this right now! He started to lie back down but his gaze was drawn to the giant, quivering shoulders of his brother. He hated to see Sam so upset, always had done, always will do, but now…now he didn't have the energy to try and make him feel better! Besides, why should he? Sam hadn't seemed that bothered about his feelings lately!!!

He shuffled back down under his covers and pulled them high over him, to hopefully block out any thoughts of his obviously upset brother! After about ten minutes of shuffling, tossing and turning, Dean decided that he was definitely not going to be able to avoid talking to Sam…so he gave up trying!

When he sat himself up, he noticed that the glow of the moon had shifted so that the silvery line of light was carving a path in the otherwise gloomy motel carpet. It still managed to cast an unearthly glow over the room and Dean could see that Sam had changed his position. He was now sat on the top of his bed, with his back against the wall, coffee cup in hand. Ah caffeine!

"Hey," Dean managed, "Can't sleep!" A statement, more than a question. He didn't want too much of a conversation with Sam.

"No! You want a cup?" Sam asked as he glanced quickly at Dean.

"Nah! Don't want to be up all night!" Always with the sarcasm Dean!

Sam nodded, breathing in a sob that had crept up on him with Dean's sarcastic answer.

"So…" Dean began, tentatively.

"You threw it away…" He heard the whisper. He sighed again, a little louder this time. He should've known!

"Well it was worthless! You heard Cas…God has left the building…"

"I gave it to you!" Sam stated.

Dean sighed again, "Yeah…"

"Yeah! That's it?" Sam's voice was getting louder now, "I gave it to you…"

"Only cos Dad didn't come and you were mad at him!" Dean retorted.

Sam looked at Dean this time, "Because I had told Bobby that I was going to give it to my hero! Someone who was always there for me no matter what! Dad wasn't what I thought he was…You were! Always! Now you toss it away as if it never meant anything! Just cos an angel said it was worthless! Does that make me worthless? Does that make everything we've been through worthless?" Dean could see tears running down Sam's face, but could think of nothing to come back with! Did it make Sam worthless? Well, he was the one in heaven that had all the memories that were about leaving his family…leaving him!

Sam took a deep breath and wiped his face, "Dean I'm sorry that I was and still am a selfish jerk! I see that now! I never knew, until lately, just how much it affected you! You would never tell me! So I just thought that everything was ok! I never left to get away from you! You were the only constant thing in my life! I wanted to get away from the life…not you! Never you! If you'd have come with me it would've been the best think ever!! But I know now, that you had responsibilities far beyond anything that I could understand!"

"Sammy…" Dean whispered.

Sam heard his nickname and nearly lost his composure completely, "Whenever I was away, I never fit in…anywhere! I always felt like a part of me was missing…as corny as that sounds! I needed you Dean and I still do! I don't care what Joshua and Cas says, we can do this…but we can only do this together! We are stronger together, always have been … always will be!"

"It's too much Sam! And if we haven't got God on our side…" Dean said, quietly.

"Then we find another way! We always do!" Sam replied confidently.

Dean couldn't help but smile at his little brother's confidence … or was it naivety?

Suddenly the darkness gave way to light as the first light of day proceeded to chase the moonlight away. Dean looked at Sam now. He could see the red rimmed eyes that has not seen sleep in a long time…this had really been eating him up!! He got up and made his way to where Sam was sat. The bed dipped as he perched on the edge!

"Honestly Sam, it hurt like hell to see you memories! I guess it was a little childish of me to be upset that they didn't include me…but hey, what can I say? My life was basically all about looking after you!"

"Dean I'm…" Sam began, but Dean put his hand up to stop him.

"Don't Sam! I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty, it's just a fact of my life! I had to look out for you, end of! If I'm honest, I wouldn't change a thing…except perhaps the going to hell thing…oh and the mess we're in now… I get what you're saying and you're right!"

"I am?"

Dean smiled, "Yeah, you are! We are stronger together, there's no denying it! We get knocked down, but we get up again…and…if you think we can do this…we can!"

"Together…" Sam insisted.

"Or die trying!!!!" Dean looked at Sam's face. Sam for his part couldn't help the lump in his throat or the tear that slowly trailed down his face, "Or die trying!" He agreed.

They spent the next few minutes in silence, just one staring at the other! Trying to convey everything that was wrong and right about their relationship.

Dean broke the connection first, when his stomach growled. Sam burst into laughter, "Moment gone…" He laughed as he got up and grabbed his wallet. Dean smiled, properly, for the first time is weeks, heaven not withstanding, "None of that oaty, organic rubbish for me this time! I want pancakes…bitch!"

Sam paused as he opened the door, looking back at his big brother, his hero, who was still sat on his bed, "You'll clog your arteries before Michael gets a hold of you…jerk!" With that he left, door closing gently behind him.

Dean sat for a couple of minutes, feeling relaxed and happy, wondering how that had happened. Then he decided to get the coffee on again! As he pulled himself up, he noticed something glistening in the gentle, golden glow of the sun. The amulet. Sam had picked it out of the trash and kept it with him. Dean felt a constriction in his throat, as he picked it up and turned it over and over in his hand. Cas had said that it was worthless because he couldn't find God with it now that he knew that God didn't want to be found! But was it worthless…

Dean unravelled the string and placed it back round his neck, looking in the mirror as he did so, "It'll never be worthless, my little brother gave this to me!"