Disclaimer - I don't own Naruto, anything brand named, or other properties that may be mentioned in any of these. But y'all already knew that, right?

Spoilers may be present.

5/13/2014. Just a random bunny that spawned from thin air.

"Alright, now that we've settled into the new base, I have a few new ground rules to go over." The rest of the members of the Akatsuki group groaned. Pein ignored them and continued. "Rule number one: Use of bombs is prohibited inside and within ten feet of the base.

"I was just trying to help get Samehada off Tobi, un."

"Which brings me to rule number two: Do not let your chakra eating swords eat Akatsuki members."

Kisame shrugged. "He was hungry."

Pein glared at Kisame. "Rule number three: Detrimental eye jutsu are prohibited inside and within ten feet of the base."

"He shouldn't have come into my room!"

"Not like he could see you hiding your stash of candy under the bed with Samehada on his head."

It was Itachi's turn to glare at Kisame, who merely shrugged again. "Everyone already knew."

Pein coughed to get everyone's attention again. "Rule number four: You may not ritually sacrifice any Akatsuki members for any reason."

"Bastard interrupted my prayer to Jashin!"

Pein sighed. "Rule number five: Use of detrimental poisons on Akatsuki members is prohibited."

"It only paralyzed his throat. He's alive."

"That was fucking great. He still can't speak!"

"Enjoy it while you can, Hidan. It will probably wear off today or tomorrow."

"NUMBER six: You may not kill current Akatsuki members for another heart. Just because it is that time of the month and the object of your irritation runs past your office, does not give you license to see if you can increase your limit."

"Do you KNOW how much his goofing off has cost us? It almost gave me a heart attack after I got done doing the finances!"

Konan spoke up. "Rule number seven: Almighty Push may not be used inside the base at any time, no matter how small."

Pein glared at Deidara. "I was just defending myself from being blasted along with Tobi. Number eight, the final rule: "Use of paper weapons is prohibited inside the base."

"I wouldn't have had to use them if your Almighty Push hadn't knocked down the bathroom wall!"

Tobi watched, hidden in the shadows. In truth, even though he had used Kamui, he was still sore since there was a brief second that had been spent between the explosion from Deidara's last bomb and Pein's Almighty Push. Samehada decided he no longer tasted good as soon as Pein had shouted at them, giving him just enough warning. It was a good thing he was more than just 'Tobi'.