Broken Crown
I will not speak of your sin
There was a way out for him
the mirror shows not
your values are all shot
Friday June 2017 7:15am
Sam woke up to the smell of fresh coffee, pancakes and the sound of his brother singing a song he thinks he should recognise. But he doesn't. Sam rolls over on to his back and stares at the blank ceiling, he knows the song, but he doesn't remember the words.
Reluctantly Sam rolls out of bed, he doesn't bother looking in the mirror he knows what he will see.
Sam steps into the kitchen. The pancakes aren't being made, the coffee isn't fresh and the song he once remembered isn't being sung. Empty. Sam would have cried if it weren't for the fact that any tears he had left dried up years ago. Two years to be in fact, two years since his brother was taken from him. For good.
I should probably take you back to the beginning, try and make sense of what is happening, try and make sense of what had happened and what is yet to occur.
Wednesday June 2015 5:30am
"Sammy, get your lazy ass out of bed or I swe-". Sam pulled the pillow over his head, so much for a lay in. Sam smiled under the pillow he admired his brothers new found enthusiasm, even if it did mean stupid o'clock wake up calls.
You see if it had been a few years prior Sam would have found his brothers behaviour odd, but the fact of the matter is, Dean is happy and relaxed. When the mark of Cain was removed it was as if all of Dean's problems were taken with it. If that wasn't weird enough they haven't been on a case in months, not one. It's as if all the demons, monsters and things that go bump in the night packed up their things and left.
Sam was ripped from his thoughts by the smell of fresh coffee and Dean's favourite breakfast food. Pancakes. If anyone had told him that this is what his life would be like, he would have laughed in their faces, whilst secretly hoping it was true.
Sam jumped out of bed and made his way into the kitchen, his face lit up at what he saw. Dean was in his pants, making pancakes and singing 'Hey Jude' like he had wrote the song himself. Sam had so much love and respect for his brother, it was like their lives hadn't been any different up to this point, how he wishes that were true.
"You just gonna stand there all day?" Sam chuckled, trust Dean to ruin a nice moment. "I haven't heard you sing in a long time" It was true Sam hadn't heard Dean sing in a very long time, he had almost forgotten what it sounded like. "Yeah well, I'm in a good mood, now shut up and eat your breakfast" Sam grinned at his brother and did just that.
It was easy to get lulled into a fake sense of security, especially after what the brothers had been through, they would take any chance of happiness they could get. But Sam knew deep down that something wasn't right.
Nothing ever is.
Wednesday June 2015 5:28pm
They had gotten a call around 5oclock, a small town called 'Cliff Edge' about a half an hours drive from the bunker. It was experiencing something that nobody could explain. All the towns' residents were dead.
The impala tore down the road, Deans hands firmly gripping the wheel as he made his way into the town, there was only one way to describe it. Empty. It was as if any life form had been sucked up and hidden away. If you wanted to film a zombie movie, here would be the perfect place to do it.
The only sign of life was the local police station which still had its lights on. They pulled up outside and walked over to the door, surely someone was still here.
One knock. Two knocks. No answer. "Hello anybody in there? It's the FBI open up" Dean shouted at the door. Ever so slowly the door creaked open, a small timid women partially hidden behind it. "Hey we got a call about some deaths?" The women opened the door wider and pulled both the boys in by their arms. Once inside she slammed the door closed and locked it, like really locked it, like if you were a robber it would probably take you a day to get in.
"Would you be able to tell us what is going on here?" Sam questioned, trying to look as understanding as possible. "The people, just jumped, I saw…everything" The poor women looked like she hadn't eaten in weeks, her hair was thinning, her skin was pale and the bags under her eyes were deeper than Deans daddy issues.
"What do you mean jumped?" Dean gave his brother a sideways glance, this was definitely strange and this poor women, despite trying, really wasn't helping.
"The cliff, they jumped off the cliff"
It turns out everyone in town must have been suicidal and threw themselves off the cliff at the edge of the town. Strange. They checked for EMF, Hex bags, sulphur and even ectoplasm. Nothing, absolutely nothing.
The neighbouring town wasn't much help either, nobody knew anything, nobody had even heard of 'Cliff Edge'. The case was getting stranger and stranger by the minute. The decided to drive back into 'Cliff Edge' and see if they could get any answers from the women they met earlier.
"10, 9, 8, 7, 6….." "STOP!" Sam sprinted over to the women and grabbed her before she threw herself into the rocky pit below. Her face had changed, she looked old it was like she had aged fifty years since the boys had been gone, they had only been gone twenty minutes.
Before Sam could stop it the women slinked out of his grasp and stepped off the cliff.
Wednesday June 2015 5:50pm
The brothers sat in the impala in silence, not a word was spoken, and not a glance was given. What had they missed? How had they missed it?
"Look it wasn't your fault man, whatever it was clearly couldn't be stopped" Sam wanted to agree with Dean, wanted to brush it off as just another case gone wrong, but he couldn't shake the feeling that something was off, and he blames himself for missing whatever it was.
They entered the bunker in a comfortable silence, it was nice to be home. But the comfortable feeling was soon shattered when they saw what was waiting for them on their sofa.
"Hello Boys"
Sam and Dean gaped at the king of hell, long story short, he was supposed to be dead. Buried in the ground, head detached from his body dead.
"What's the matter boys, hell hound got your tongue?" Crowley smirked sarcasm dripping from his voice like an annoying leaky tap. "First of all get your feet off my table, and secondly how in god's name are you alive?" Dean practically spat at him, he clearly wasn't in the mood for Crowley's games.
On Deans request he slowly lifted his feet off the table and gave the boys a toothy grin. "You really thought you could kill the king of hell? Please, your good boys but you aren't that good". The backhanded compliment did nothing but make Dean more annoyed, they had just been on their first case in months and everything went to shit, but Sam had to give it to his brother he was keeping his cool pretty well.
"You wouldn't know anything about the case we were just on, would you Crowley?" Sam questioned the demon, his patience also starting to wear thin. "What? People throwing themselves off a cliff, that's just a normal Saturday for me Moose". After an hour of questioning and a lot of swearing Dean and Sam were ready to give up, that was until Crowley was half way out the door.
"Did you like 'Cliff Edge' though boys? made it myself". Of course. There wasn't anything else in the world that could create a place that doesn't exist out of nothing, and it explains how the neighbouring town had never heard of it. Son of a bitch.
"I bet your wondering why hmm? Well its simple really, I missed my favourite play things and decided that your little holiday was over". With that Crowley was gone.
If Sam thought things seemed strange now he was in for the shock of his life.
Friday June 2015 10:00pm
Bleak. That was one word to describe how the brothers were feeling. When you visit a grave you're supposed to bring flowers, cry and tell whoever is listening 'I am fine', or 'the kids are doing great'.
Dean doesn't do flowers, he is pretty sure he has forgotten how to cry and there isn't any point in words, he knows nobody is listening. The grave isn't anywhere special there isn't even a stone to tell people that somebody has been laid to rest there, maybe laid to rest is the wrong phrase, maybe put out of their misery would be better.
"You know I never even said thank you" Dean told Sam or maybe he was muttering it to himself, Sam didn't know the difference anymore. "He wouldn't have wanted you to Dean", it was true, everything Castiel did was out of love for the brothers, out of love for Dean.
It's been almost 3 years since Cas sacrificed himself for the brothers, it wasn't the first time but it was his last. It all happened so fast, one minute Metatron had a knife at Dean's throat the next minute that same knife was through Castiel's heart, as the light drained from his eyes he looked straight at Dean and smiled. The kind of smile you give to your child at graduation, the kind of smile you give your brother when you come back from the dead for the fifth time. The kind of smile Dean never got from his father.
Things had gone on pretty much the same since Crowley's little visit, the only difference being the boys were a lot more on edge, just waiting for something to happen, just waiting for something to destroy their peace.
"Come on Dean it's getting late". Dean nods, lays a single black feather on the ground even though he knows it will blow away, they always do.
Saturday June 2015 3:00am
Sam can't sleep, he can hear Dean praying in his room. Sam doesn't know who he is praying to anymore it changes every night. He thinks it may be their mum tonight, he can tell by the way Deans voice softens, he sounds younger, he sounds…..broken.
But Sam cant shake the feeling that Dean is hiding something from him, don't ask him how he knows he just does, he knows his brother better than his brother knows himself. Maybe. There was something about the way Dean looked at Crowley when he graced them with his presence three days ago, like he had known he was going to be there.
'What are you hiding Dean?' and with that final thought Sam got comfy and closed his eyes.
Thursday June 2016 9:00pm
One year is all it took, one year for it all to come out. Everything. All of Deans lies and secrets came flooding out of him, apparently if you get Dean drunk enough he becomes very truthful.
Did you know Dean was mentally and sexually abused by their dad? Sam didn't.
Did you know Dean never actually wanted to become a hunter? Sam didn't.
Did you know Dean made a deal with Crowley? Sam didn't, but he does now. Turns out Dean was actually supposed to jump off that cliff on their last 'case', it was a big elaborate set up, to make Deans death look like some supernatural voodoo made him do it. But no, it would have been Dean jumping off that cliff on his own free will, what made him change his mind? Well apparently Dean didn't want his little brother to see him go like that.
"Are you serious I don't want to see you go at all Dean!" No amount of yelling seemed to get through to Dean, it's like he wasn't there, he was numb, barely taking in Sam's words, not blinking, not once.
So this deal Dean made with Crowley? Well apparently Sam gets to live a happy normal apple pie life in exchange for Deans life, the collection date…..one year.
Deans year was up.
Thursday June 2016 11:16pm
The drive back to the bunker was quiet, suffocating silence that drove Sam insane. His brother had done some crazy things for him in the past but this? This was the rotting cherry on top.
They sat in silence in Deans room, Deans once vibrant green eyes looked more like a murky swamp covered in fog with no sign of daylight. Dead. Deans eyes looked dead and Sam couldn't stand to look in them.
"Sammy i….." Dean looked down at his hands, Sam knew what Dean wanted to say, they have been saying it all their lives, even though the word love has never been uttered between them, they know and that's all that matters.
Friday June 2016 5:56pm
Horrible places hospitals, the smell and the noises, they make you feel like your dying even when your not. Sam was in the waiting room playing that moment again in his head, that moment he got the call that will change his life.
"Hello, Sam Winchester? Its your brother hes been in a car accident"
Sam should of cursed Crowleys name to the heavens but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to do it, he just wanted to see Dean, the doctors may not know it, but this would be the last time they ever see Dean Winchester. Alive.
Sam slowly walked into the room, the steady beep of the heart monitor giving Sam false hope. Dean looked awful and I bet his beloved baby wasn't looking any better. "Hey Dean, now when I said be quick, I didn't mean fast and furious quick ok". Dean gave a weak chuckle, keeping Dean laughing was the only thing Sam could think to do right now, this was going to be the last time he would hear his brother, and he would be damned if it wasn't him laughing.
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
"Hey Sammy…im proud of you"
1…..The heart beat monitor gave one last final beep and then Sams world went black.
Sunday June 2016 4:00pm
Dean died on the sixth day, on the sixth month of the sixth hour. The devil was definitely laughing.
"How you doing Moose?" Crowley kept visiting Sam, telling him how lucky he was to be the last one standing, yeah lucky him.
"So where did you bury the squirrel anyway?" Like Sam would tell him, but for those of you who want to know, Sam buried his brother next to someone who made his life bright.
Sam buried Dean right next to his guardian angel, Castiel.
Crowley soon got bored of taunting Sam and stopped showing up, so much for the happy apple pie life the only thing happy about Sam was that Crowley decided he really wasn't worth his time anymore.
Everyday is the same, wake up, survive, sleep. Sam has the first two parts down, but sleep doesn't come as easily as it used to, in fact he cant remember the last time he slept.
Friday June 2017 7:15am
Two years since Dean died. Two years since Sam has had a healthy nights sleep. Two years he has had to put up with the voices in his head and the aching in his soul. No more.
So here he was sat at the end of his brothers bed, holding a gun, still wishing he could remember the damn words to that song his brother once sang.
He should of known it would end like this, they always said it would be Sam Winchester who would kill all the demons, he wishes they would of told him the demons were in his head. Without a second thought Sam lifted the gun to his temple and squeezed his eyes shut.
10.
9.
8.
7.
6.
5.
4.
3.
2.
With one last final breath he pulls the trigger, as he falls to the bed he smiles, he remembers the words.
And anytime you feel the pain, hey Jude, refrain
Don't carry the world upon your shoulders
For well you know that it's a fool who plays it cool
By making his world a little colder