:: ::: :: ::: ::
Freddie Benson was prepared for anything. He had all of his school assignments completed flawlessly and handed in on time. His room was always tidy (heaven forbid it wasn't- his mother would do it and than hed have no secrets or space of his own). He was even prepared for anything Samantha Puckett could throw at him; punches, insults. He had learn to accept them and there for in a sense be prepared for any trick, threat, or insult she could throw at him. He thought he was prepared to handle anything life and the blonde headed demon could throw at him.
Freddie Benson had never been more wrong.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
It was a clear Friday morning when Freddie approached Carly who was shoving her history books and homework into her locker, preparing for Mrs. Briggs class. As he got closer he could hear her mumbling about something about there going to a pop quiz soon, she could just 'feel it.' Freddie couldn't help but chuckle, typical Carly. But there was something wrong about this picture.
"Hey, where's Sam, isn't she usually here by now?"
"Hm?" Carly said looking up at Freddie, and glancing towards the blondes locker. "She is late isn't she?" Carly mused before turning to Freddie. Truth was, Carly hadn't even noticed once Shannon had given her a call on her pair phone this morning about rumor of Mrs. Briggs pop quiz, her gut instantly told her there was going to be one. Not a rumor, a definite, a definite she was NOT prepared for by any stretch of the imagination.
Carly slammed her locker turning to Freddie giving off a shrug, "She's just running late that's not surprising. Come on, we better get to class before Briggs chews are heads off!"
"Okay" Freddie agreed, hiking his bag over his shoulder and following Carly to the classroom. He glanced over his shoulder, towards the double doors that led to the outside and he swore for just a second he saw a flash of blonde curls rush past the glass doors.
:: ::: Freddie's POV ::: ::
I couldn't help but tap my pencil soundlessly against my surprisingly (taste the sarcasm?) blank notebook paper as Briggs rambled on and on about, wait, what were they talking about? Shakespeare? I dared to take a backwards glance as the empty desk behind me, and I couldn't help but wonder if it was Sam I saw run by outside. Of course Sam wouldn't skip school just to come to it- she was probably raiding someone's meaty goods or delicious fat cakes or something juvenile like that. Still, its kind of strange without her tapping, poking , or randomly hitting me, making mocking jokes to me or Carly about Mrs. Briggs nasally voice or her cavewoman hair, or even dumping her breakfast into my back pack on a couple occasions.
It was a strange realization to realize that even though Sam constantly mocked, mimicked, hit, insulted, simply bullied me out the wazoo, class was…pretty boring without her.
The classroom door suddenly slammed open and a mess of blonde curls, tired eyes, and messy backpack came spiraling into the room. Chaotically disorganized beautiful9wait did I just say beautiful, stupid Freddie, stupid) Sam.
"Sup people?" Sam said sporting her casual smirk, a smirk that looked almost forced. Her eyes just weren't in it. In fact, her eyes looked very far away and I could see small bags under them. That was different.
"Mrs. Puckett, your just in time for a pop quiz, how lovely. Take your seat." Mrs. Briggs said wringing her hands together. I bet Mrs. Briggs would love to be a nun, I could just tell her fingers were itching to take a ruler and smack Sam around for ruining her Shakespeare tangent.
Sam dropped her book bag with a loud smack on the floor beside her desk, and through her body roughly into the seat behind me. I turned to whisper something to her, taking a chance to face Briggs raft, the only thing running through me was sheer curiosity as to why she was late and why she didn't say anything to Carly or me. Well, Carly anyway.
"Hey, why were you-"
"Turn around Benson!" Briggs snapped before I even got to finish my sentence, defeated and slightly angry I turned around. Damn it, the ONE and ONLY time Im trying to talk to Sam during class and of course Briggs decides to assert her tyrant-ness than.
She handed each row a stack of papers, and as I received mine and turned to hand Sam the rest of the stack, she leaned forward to grab the remaining two papers and for a fragment of a second our hands touched. Her blue eyes met mine with such…intensity such what was that?
And the papers scuttled to the floor, I knelt down at the same time Sam did, gently grabbing her wrist.
"Ive got-"
She yanked her wrist back so fast, her voice a little to loud and a little to sharp, "GET OFF ME!" I couldn't help but flinch as everyone in the class's gaze shifted to us.
Sam stood in one brush movement, picked her bag up off the floor and headed towards the door, crushing the two remaining pop quiz's into the floor. Carly stood up, her hands poised on the desk, a worried look crossing over her features. "Sam!"
She didn't even turn around.
"Samantha, get your bottom back in your seat right this instant or Ill-"
She was out the door before Mrs. Briggs even finished talking.
My heart was pounding a mile a minute, as I picked myself and the two remaining papers off the floor and handing Jeremy (the guy who sits behind Sam) one of the pop quizzes. Now I only had one more decision to make, settle back inside my seat and take my test and get Sam after or…
I stared towards Carly who had reluctantly sat herself back down into her seat- completely defeated. My mom would kill me if I left class, Id have detention- days of lecture, months of tick baths (which I had finally gotten her to STOP or at least reduce to once every 2 months) but…
I rose to a stand a tremor rising through my body as I took a shaky step forward sliding my backpack over a shoulder.
"Fredward Benson?" Mrs. Briggs said looking up from the paper she was writing (probably a months worth of detentions slips for Sam)
The shrill voice that usually would have me slinking back into my seat only momentarily made me pause. Was I really going to risk all this for Sam?
Get off of me!
I really didn't have a choice. Sam would have just slugged me if she didn't want me to touch her, make some offensive comment- she wouldn't have yelled and she most certainly wouldn't have left. I knew it as well as Carly and if I was going to make any sort of impact, or help her in any sort of way- it needed to be done now, not later.
I left.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
"Sam!" Freddie called his footsteps quickening to catch up to her, she didn't even turn around to acknowledge the fact he called her.
He grabbed her by the shoulder as he had done many a times, and spun her around to face him. She visibly flinched under his touch, a flinch so hard it shook him to the core. Sam Puckett DIDN'T flinch. And she was looking at him like that again- that look that look of…
Fear
He pulled his hand back as if burned, his eyes staring towards her as he slowly put two and two together. His brown eyes softened as he stared down to her and her jaw tightened with rage.
"Don't you dare look at me like that Benson or Ill beat you into next weak!" Sam barked, her body physically shaking. Freddie could swear she sounded less intimidating.
"Sam, were you…" he couldn't help but look at the blonde girl in front of him with such sympathy. She was raped. It was the only thing that made sense. He had seen Sam on her best and worst days (which were usually always bad days for him, or for his body rather) and he had never seen her like this. Never had she flinched under his touch, her confidence completely broken, a struggle to keep up her fight and look him in the eyes.
Her hand slapped over his mouth, her hand trembling over his lips doing a very poor job of preventing any words from being muffled. "D-don't say it. Don't you dare say it Fred-dork."
He wasn't sure if this was the smartest thing for him to do, but before any kind of rational thought crossed his mind- he grabbed her wrist softly and lowered her hand down.
"Sam…were your raped?"
The air hung thick between them as his fingers slowly peeled off her frail wrist and each of their arms almost mechanically fell back to their sides, the bell echoing in the distance as doors opened and students began pouring out of class.
She disappeared leaving his question hanging in the air.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
Sam wasn't seen the rest of school, and as Carly set her tray down next to Freddie. She once again began to prod him with questions of what happened when he saw Sam. Freddie sighed.
"I told you Carly. She didn't say ANYTHING to me. She just turned around when I called her name, paused half a second, and walked out the door before I had time to stop her."
Freddie didn't want to lie to Carly, but, if he was right it wasn't his place to tell her and if he was wrong there was no need to unnecessarily upset one of his best friends. Still, his nervs were lit up.
Sam had always been a good friend of him, but to see her look so unbelievable vulnerable- fight it as she might the damn girl- her eyes betrayed her every time. Somebody had laid hands on her, ripped something away from her that she surely wasn't ready to give and…
It took everything in Freddie's power not to up-chuck his lunch at the thought of it.
The thought struck him so deep and over-whelmed him so much, he checked his phone again for a reply for the last three text messages he sent her. Again it was blank. His heart thrummed wildly in his chest as he laid his head down on the table and dialed her number, cradling his iphone in his folded arm.
The phone hummed with life beneath his eardrum and he swore his heart was about to implode in his chest, making a phone call during school? He was really pushing it today, and he still had yet to be called into the Principals office for the 'stunt' he pulled in Briggs class.
To his surprise, she answered.
"What?" her voice sounded muffled like she had placed her hand over the phone so he could barely hear her.
"Where are you?" Freddie whispered, Carly raising an eyebrow as if he was crazy talking to his tater tots.
"Whats it to ya?" came another Sam-like muffled reply.
"Sam." Freddie scolded his brow furrowing , Carlys eyes widening with excitement and than followed by shock as she realized her best friend was on the phone with her other best friend.
'Go Freddie!" Carly mouthed taking over the job of making sure Freddie didn't get caught. At least he didn't have that to worry about.
"Im at the Park alright?" her voice didn't sound muffled anymore, it sounded defeated.
"Ill meet you there, the one across from BushWell Plaza?"
"There's no way Fred- dweeb is going to come ditch school to find poor little Sam" Sam mocked, her voice full of forced energy and wounded pride. "let me tell you something Benson, Mama doesn't need your pity alright? So go cuddle on up to Carly or some chiz."
And the line went dead.
Really? Was all Freddie could think as he stared at his iphone before slamming it into his pocket. Didn't he tell her a million times he was OVER Carly, what she have to do with anything anyway? They were her best friends for gods sake.
And than again. He felt the wave of guilt wash over him in a tidal wave. She was RAPED Freddie and your gonna sit here and get mad/frustrated at her?
If it was impossible for Freddie to feel even more deflated than he had this morning, he thinks he might have just hit rock bottom.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
When school lets out, she still sitting at the park, and Freddie walks their alone and takes a seat next to her on the park bench, all the way on the opposite end- not daring to push his luck.
"You didn't bring Carly."
His stomach lurches.
"I …didn't think about it." He admits trying to keep his nervs out of his voice, trying to be calm a solid support, something useful. "I guess I should.."
"Its alright." Sam says finally looking up towards the bright orange sky, the sun slowly beginning to slip away.
There's an awkward silence that Sam fills with a sharp comment.
"You know you don't have to tiptoe around me like your walking on broken glass or some chiz"
"Fine than." Freddie says sitting up and meeting her gaze evenly, and he hates himself for feeling a little bit offended and for not being as understanding as he should. But even as damaged as she is (and its obvious to those who know her) she still knows all the right buttons to push to piss him off. And its just so wrong. And so right. "Who-"
"This dude my mom brought home."
"Did you know him?"
"Nah, he came over first time last night. He wont be back."
"Sam you know you need to get-"
"Tested?" Her voice squeaked for a second and she stared down at her converses as if they were now the most interesting thing in the world.
"Yeah." she said quietly, "Ill find out if I have any lovely STDS on Monday."
He swore he heard her hiccup.
"Sam, I know this is probably the worst thing to offer but-" He gently opened his arms and to his (and he swore her surprise) she flung herself into his embrace, her body wracked with sobs as he ran a hand through her thick blonde curls and stained his red jacket with blue tears.
She cried into his arms until the sun was completely gone and the park was completely black and street lights started flickering on. They break a part somewhat reluctantly and he give her his jacket and they part ways without so much as a goodbye. Because the moment was to raw and to awkward and so they just left.
That night Freddies mom follows him around the house lecturing him about skipping classes, staying out after dark, and coming home without a jacket when its getting cooler by the day. Freddie continues about picking up his things and getting ready for bed while she follows behind prodding on about how irresponsible he is and how reckless and how shes going to unplug his computer and plant a tracking device in his underwear- until finally Marissa Benson calms down and gives him a kiss on the forehead, her relentless scolding finally over.
Freddie shuts the door to his room, closes his eyes and punches the wall, a single tear of frustration rolls down his face and he presses his forehead against the wall.
Sam…
:: ::: :: ::: ::
She shows up outside his bedroom window at 3:30am, gently tapping on the glass window. He rolls over in his bed to face her, black circles forming under his eyes as he gets up mechanically and opening the window for her. She ducks in quietly and takes a seat at the end of his bed.
He waits for her to say something as he crawls back beneath the covers, because hes tired- but his mind has a million things to think about. HER. And really, what can he say? Everything was different now- their friendship was different now.
"He came back." she said finally, the sentence alone was enough to send Freddie bolting up out of his relaxed position and grip her shoulders firmly, anger circulated through his dark brown eyes and he tugged at her a little bit to tightly.
"Did he touch you?" He whisper shouted his voice hard and angry.
Sam stared towards him and it wasn't until than that Freddie realized that she wasn't answering him because he had, but because he was gripping her so hard- that her eyes were wide with fear and she appeared to be holding her breath.
He let go immediately, as she exhaled (proving his theory right) and she shook her head no.
"He just…looked at me." she whispered. "And I just…snapped."
It wasn't until Sam said that, that the thought occurred to him. It hit him so hard, he actually leaned forward to grip his stomach. Idiot, out of all the things he asked her- why didn't he?
"Sam, we have to report him! We have to go to the cops we-"
Sam gently grasped his arm, her fingernails digging into him leaving little half moons on his pale flesh.
"Freddie...Its already been done. My mom she…she took care of it. He was arrested at our house last night…a few hours ago really"
He didn't realize he was holding his breath until than, a silence once again forming between the two of them- less awkward than the previous ones…but just as heavy. Once again it was Sam who broke the silence, and Freddie wondered if it was just as loud in her ears as his.
"She said that sucks."
"What?"
"My mom, that's all she said after the cops led him out, she looked at me and said "That sucks."
Freddie stared at her anger squeezing his lungs so tight he couldn't breathe. His mother would have killed them, and suffocated him with love if something like that ever happened to him. Freddie shuddered, he hoped nothing like that would ever happen to him. His eyes drifting over to the girl with blue eyes and long blonde hair, he hadn't wanted anything like that to happen to her of all people.
Sam rose to a stand, her eyes widening at a the large dent in my wall.
"Woah Fred-nerd managed to get pissed huh? What set you off?" Sam said a smirk growing across her pale lips. It seemed more like the real her than most of her gestures lately.
He shook his head and to his surprise he managed to smile despite everything that was so wrong about how they were growing so intimately close. "Do you really have to ask? After those years of constant bullying, I guess you finally broke me." Freddie said teasingly.
Sam smiled.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
Sam ended up clean as a whistle no STD'S to worry about- and do with Freddies help. She was able to over-come her violent fear of being over powered and she gradually found her own strength. High-fives through Spencer, secret hugs every once in a while with Freddie, and of course messing with Gibby 20x more than usual.
A month passed, and while Freddie hadn't forgotten the intimate secrets of Sam's rape, and how their relationship had strengthened so much because of it. Sam spent many a nights crawling in through his bedroom window and hiding in the closet and underneath the bed when Mrs. Benson stormed in their muttering loudly about Freddie talking to himself, and therapy and more mother sun bonding activities. While Freddie hated the after math of Sam hearing all of those things (and the names and jokes she came up with) he loved the fact she trusted in him. He loved the fact that he was able to be around her so much without the prescence of their other best friend.
It was safe to say that through the jokes, and their new brief intricate moments and stronger relationship. Freddie Benson had done something like falling for the blonde headed demon, not that he was willing to let her know that. Not that she was ready to be with anybody any time soon. Or ever again. He didn't know, he couldn't imagine and tried his hardest on most days to forget.
That was until she text him that morning, a little over a month later.
To Freddie
From Sam
Can I trust you?
To Sam
From Freddie
After all this time, really?
Sam didn't say anything after that.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
Freddie paced nervously back and forth between Sam and Carly's locker (Carly was conveniently sick which saved Freddie the explanation as to why he was so worked up.) He had text her three times after that, apologizing, asking her what was wrong, and why the hell would she not answer him? He seemed to be inheriting some of the blondes aggressive tendencies.
That's when she showed up, paused for half a second and did a U-turn. Freddie couldn't even begin to describe the anger that welled up inside of him. It clouded his vision and his mind and for the first time in his life he acted on pure instincts, a pure animalistic urge to conquer. He took three quick strides forward and snatched up her by the arm, forcing her to turn around and face him. Her piercing blue eyes glared daggers into his stormy brown ones and her hand collided with his face before she violently pushed him into the girls bathroom.
The minute her hand collided with his face, his anger subsided almost instantly as if the switch inside him had been turned off. His palm connected with his tender cheek and he looked over to her over a shoulder.
"Sorry, I shouldn't have been so…aggressive." He found himself unconcerned with the fact he surrounded by light pink walls and pink tile. Sam and him were the only ones in the girls lavatory and he was pretty sure Sam would kick anyone's ass who tried to enter. She had murder in his eyes and he couldn't help but feel he was part to blame.
She didn't say anything instead she reached into her pocket and threw something at his feet. Her blue eyes were cold and tormented but she held her own, as Freddie knelt down to pick up the strange long white rectangular. To his alarm, it was a pregnancy test and it was positive.
Go fucking figure.
He stared towards her clutching the test in his hand so hard that his knuckles turned white, and he dropped his gaze to the floor. He didn't want her to see the anger in his eyes, anger that wasn't directed to her at all. Anger that was directed to the fucking rapist who impregnated her, the fucking rapist who was going to ruin her life.
Sam's hand clenched into fists as her gaze met that of her converses for the ump-teenth time every time they found themselves talking about her rapist.
"I cant afford an abortion." Her voice cracks, and Freddie doesn't have to look up to know she's shaking.
There's a silence that's beginning to form but Sam wont allow it- Sam shoves him up against the wall, her hands on the collar of his blue button up t-shirt and she screams, a scream that bounces off the bathroom wall and burns into the deepest corridors of his mind.
"LOOK AT ME!" Sam screams, pulling off of him as his deep brown eyes drown in sorrow, the look enough alone powerful enough to shake Sam so hard- she pulls off and tears run down her face for the second time since her and Freddie's relationship had changed.
She lifts up her shirt to show deep bruises, that look deadly against her pale lean stomach. "I cant kill it!" She screams. "I keep trying but it wont come out- this freaking parasite is growing inside me, this bastards child is going to make me give up EVERYTHING! I didn't want this! I didn't ask for this! I didn't-"
His lips press down on her so hard, she's immediately quiet, shaky hands wrapping around his neck and large hands encircling her small waste. He doesn't know what they are going to do. But he needs her to know, she's not alone.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
Five months later and she has a small round baby bump. She wears her close three sizes to big, but people are starting to mutter when they think she's not listening that "Sam's gaining some weight isn't she?" "Just a little bit- we all knew those fat cakes were going to catch up on her one day." The conversations were no more than whispers of over-eating or maybe picking up a drinking habit since she was after all the schools biggest juvenile.
Freddie goes with her to all her doctors appointments. They tell the doctors that its their baby (Sam doesn't want any looks of pity) and Sam tells Carly that the doctor thinks there's something wrong with her metabolism from eating to much ham (something the little urchin has taken away her ability to eat). Sam tells the doctors she wants the baby to be given to an adoption agency and her and Freddie meet with more adults who smile and explain why they are best suited for their baby. Freddie doesn't tell them they don't really care who has the baby, and that they don't want to see pictures of have visitation every so often. He lets Sam do the talking who has somehow (no doubt because of Freddie) learn to tip toe around peoples feelings of the parents of 'their future child'.
She had told Freddie before another meeting with their choice adoptive parents that she couldn't crush them just because someone else had in a sense crushed her.
"They are after all taking away my burden."
And Freddie couldn't argue.
Sam takes a seat in Mrs. Briggs class after dodging all of the rumors that were floating around the school, none that she's heard of yet is that she's pregnant. She closes her eyes as she lowers into her seat. Freddie a few steps behind her, and down after hes made sure shes sitting easy.
She winces.
He doesn't say anything.
She shifts.
Freddie feels every muscle stand on end.
Briggs lectures.
Her heads down, blonde locks hiding her face. He's turned around in his seat and watches her dig her nails through her sweatshirt into her arm.
"Sam." He whispers his brown eyes widening, her eyes glassed over in pain raising to meet his.
"Freddie something's [groan] wrong."
His eyes drifted to the floor, where a few red drops lingered underneath her desk. His eyes stared as more drops seemed to hit the floor and a sound resided through Sam like that of a dying animal.
The room fell quiet as Mrs. Briggs walked over to Sam gently placing a hand on her desk. "Samantha."
Sam's head was covered with a thin line of sweat, and she was fighting to the best of her ability not to cry. The gruff mean awful Mrs. Briggs turned to Freddie and her voice barely a whisper, "Take her to the nurses office, Ill call the hospital."
The adoptive parents never get their baby…Samantha Puckett miscarries that day.
:: ::: :: ::: ::
She lays in his arms months later, their relationship out in the open for the world to see. His big hands run through her golden locks and she smiles up at him, and he swears even after everything, every time that blonde headed demon smiles the world gets a little brighter.