Shiri stood frozen in front of Zevran the new Crow Commander in disbelief. She had expected someone else, someone that she didn't know and who didn't hold her heart in the palm of his hand. She knew that the Crows had been paid to kill her but she had never expected it to be him. He had told her that he came because it would be better than letting her possibly die slowly at the hands of someone else.
"You mean you came here to see if we could have one last hurrah before you killed me." she said wrapping her arms around her stomach. She was going to fall apart in front of him though she knew it wasn't going to help. Either way one of them was going to die tonight.
For a moment they stood across the room from each other in complete silence except for the rain pounding on the window. The room was hers and the biggest in the newly rebuilt Vigil's Keep. It was dark except for the few candles lit around the room. The glow they provided could have been seen as romantic if the situation had been anything other than the one she found herself in presently.
"My dea-"
"Don't you dare call me that!" she yelled bitterly. There was no way she was going to let him call her by her pet name. She couldn't remember a time when he had actually called her by her name. It had always been my dear or pet.
"I don't want to fight you Shiri." he said calmly.
"Please don't do this Zevran." she pleaded. She could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. She wanted this to be the Fade and for this to be some horrible nightmare.
"You can drink this poison, it will be just like falling asleep." he said holding out a small brown bottle in his hand. She searched his honey colored eyes for some kind of emotion, something that would suggest that this was even a little hard for him, but was met with just cold, emptiness.
She held out her hand as he walked over and laid the bottle in her palm. She could smell the familiar scent of leather. At one point it had been the reassuring scent of a friend and a lover but now it just picked at her breaking heart trying to force her to tears. She bit the inside of her of her lip trying to keep control and forcing the memories of them together out of her mind. The man that stood in front of her tonight was not the man she had spent so many nights with.
She rolled the bottle between her thumb and forefinger, watching the clear liquid inside swirl back and forth. It reminded her of water and it brought up memories of them when they had been on the road trying to unite Ferelden against the Blight. She shoved those memories aside and tried to focus on what was going on in this moment. Shiri gripped the bottle tightly in her palm and then threw it at the door. It shattered instantly and the liquid ran down the door and dripped on the floor. She could hear voices in the hallway trying to figure out which room the noise came from.
"Its only a matter of time Zevran. You better fight me if you want me dead." she said drawing both of her daggers. She wasn't sure if she could kill him but she wasn't about to make it easy for him to her either.
"Fine. Have it your way Shiri." he replied unsheathing both of his daggers and launching himself at her. She dodged him and deflected his next attack easily. Her mind was in a haze, so she let her body fall into the familiar dance of protecting itself. Time seemed to slow and it felt like they had been fighting for an eternity. It was the sound of steel biting skin that snapped her out of her fog. She looked at Zevran and saw her dagger protruding from his chest and watched him fall to the floor.
She sat up screaming and quickly covered her mouth with her hand as tears streamed down her cheeks. She wanted it to be just a dream, to look over to the other side of the bed and see him sleeping there, but she knew it wasn't going to happen. It hadn't been a bad dream, but a horrible memory. It had been almost 3 weeks since that night, but she had been plagued by the nightmares ever since. Even though she had tried everything, she switched rooms, Anders had given her some potion to try and knock her out, and she had even gone for days without sleep until she she finally passed out from sheer exhaustion, but nothing worked. The horrible nightmare always returned and she always woke up screaming and in tears.
She pushed the blankets off of her and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She knew she wasn't going to be able to sleep anymore tonight so she got up and changed out of her night gown and tied her strawberry blonde curls up. She wasn't exactly sure where she was going or what she was going to do when she got there, all she knew was that she had to get out of this room. She stood in front of the door leading out of her room and took a deep breath. She was the Grey Warden Commander and the Arlessa of Amaranthine, she wasn't about to show anyone that she had been crying.
She opened the door and walked down one of the hallways. She knew no one was going to be up at this early hour but the silence was killing her. There were no noises to distract her, no recruits asking her questions, and Varel was nowhere in sight telling her what matters needed to be attended to. She would deal with squabbling nobles right now if it meant forgetting for awhile and she hated dealing with the nobles.
"Meow?" Shiri stopped and looked down to the end of the hall. There rubbing up against the corner of the wall was Ser-Pounce-A-Lot.
"Shouldn't you be laying with Anders?" she asked kneeling down and holding her hand out towards the orange tabby cat. He flicked his tail and sauntered over to her and rubbed up against her hand. She started to scratch behind the cat's ear but he rotated his head so that she would scratch under his chin.
"Lets go find some food." she said picking the cat up. Besides Anders, Shiri was the only person allowed to pick up the feline, though he never turned away someone who wanted to pet him or feed him scraps from the table.
To her surprise the kitchen wasn't dark and empty like she had been expecting at this early hour. Roland, the Keep's head cook, was baking bread. He was a tall, balding man, with steel blue eyes.
"I swear I'm up half the night just baking for the Wardens." he said his gruff voice.
"Blame it on the taint." she replied placing Ser-Pounce-A-Lot on the floor.
"Ah Commander, what are you doing up this time of morning?" he said stirring something in a bowl.
"Rough night." she replied simply. Ser-Pounce-A-Lot rubbed up against Roland and waited for him to through him some food.
"Uh-huh you have to earn your treats. Get in the larder and get rid of those mice. If you do I'll give you a whole roasted fish." Roland said pointing to the larder. The cat perked up his ears and quickly disappeared into the larder.
"You shouldn't have to bribe a cat to catch mice." he grumbled under his breath.
"He only does it because you allow him to." she replied sitting on a stool next to the wooden counter. Roland mumbled something under his breath and started to knead the bread dough.
"Something on your mind?" he asked pushing his fists into the dough.
"I just have a lot to do today." she replied grabbing an apple from a basket.
"You have a lot to do everyday." he chuckled sprinkling flour over the counter.
"Oh I don't know. My daily list of trivial tasks has shortened quite a bit lately since the darkspawn have left." she said taking a bite out of the apple.
"You sound like you miss them Commander." Roland chuckled.
"Oh you know, we had become such close friends, I was sad to seem them go." she replied rolling her eyes. Roland laughed and placed the dough into a bread pan.
"Ah there you are, Commander." Varel said appearing in the doorway.
"Good morning, Varel." she replied.
"We have some things to go over before breakfast, Commander." he said. She sighed and left with him to her office.
Shiri leaned back in her desk chair and rubbed her temples. If she would have known about all the things she would have to deal with just as the Arlessa she would have turned and ran in the other direction. She hadn't of course and now she was stuck in her office doing paperwork all day from the nobles in the arling and the Grey Wardens in Orlais. She rested her elbows on her maple wood desk and sighed. It was only early afternoon and she had already had enough paperwork for one day.
She pushed her chair across the stone floor and walked over to the large window behind her desk. She had chosen this room specifically for her office because the window over looked the rear courtyard where the recruits' fighting styles were tested and honed. A lot of them were very good fighters but needed to be shown their weaknesses to make them better.
She watched as Sigrun instructed a small group of newly inducted Grey Wardens in the art of dual wielding. She noticed a pair of men standing behind the dwarf snickering about something. She recognized both of them in an instant. The taller raven haired man was Erik and his shorter red haired accomplice was William both from Highever and both had problems with women and authority. Which meant that they had been nothing but trouble for herself and Sigrun.
Those shems need to be taught a sodding lesson. She thought to herself with an instant smile. Surely Amaranthine would survive if she took a break for while? She sprinted out the door and headed towards the courtyard, only stopping in her room to grab her sharpest pair of dragonbone daggers and to quickly put her Warden Commander armor on. She slowed her pace when she entered the hallway that led out to the courtyard and was greeted by her second in command, Oghren.
"Heh look who escaped from her cage." the dwarf joked. "Whadya doin out here Commander?"
"I needed a break and thought I would check up on how everyone is doing." she stated making sure to look in the direction of Sigrun's group and Oghren got the hint.
"Gonna finally teach those two sods some manners eh?" he chuckled. She nodded once and headed over to Sigrun with Oghren in tow.
"Hello Commander. Come to check on our newest Wardens?" Sigrun said trying to be pleasant, but her annoyance with Erik and William was written on her face.
"I have actually." she remarked. She some whispering and then some snickering coming from her left. She turned to face Erik and William.
"Is there a problem gentlemen?" she said trying be serious.
"I was just wondering why the Hero of Ferelden doesn't train us herself." Erick mocked.
"Because the Hero of Ferelden is also the Alressa of Amaranthine and the Grey Warden commander, so she is quit busy. Besides Sigrun is very skilled and was once part of the Legion of the Dead. I would not leave your training in the hands of someone who was unable." she replied crossing her arms. She started to tun around and noticed Nate and Anders walking towards her.
"Maybe your just scared one of us is better than you." Erik spoke up. She felt the smile tug at her lips. She looked at Nate who shook his head and Anders gave her a look of approval.
"I think thats a challenge, Commander." Oghren said at her side.
"It sounds like one doesn't it Oghren?" she replied turning back to Erik who had already drawn his weapons. She drew her own daggers and studied Erik. She could hear people placing their bets as her and Erik circled each other. She watched as Oghren and Anders placed their bets with the Wardens stand next to them. She would have to remember to get a cut of whatever they won.
Erik launched himself at her and she side stepped him and thrust the pommel of her dagger into the small of his back. He winced and turned back towards her. He brought his daggers above her head and she blocked him only to have him quickly hit her side with the pommel of his own dagger. Pain shot through her side and she thought her ribs might be broken as she bent at the waist. She took a step back from Erik and noticed the smug look on his face.
"Good shot Erik, but I won't yield for that." she taunted him. He launched himself at her again and she quickly straightened and blocked his attack. She pushed him back and this time took the offensive and swung her dagger at his stomach, knocking him off balance. She kicked one of his legs out from underneath him and he landed on his back looking up at her. She stood over him with one of her daggers to his neck.
"I would suggest you yield Erik." she grinned. She saw his jaw line tense as he stared at her.
"I yield." he whispered through clenched teeth.
"Then I would suggest Erik, that you remember who is in charge here and keep your place." she stated sheathing her daggers. He glared up at her and cursed under his breath. She walked away from him to where her friends were waiting of her and lead them upstairs to her office.