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A/N: This hasn't been edited yet, so forgive me for all my mistakes and loopholes and whatever. Do leave a review or fave this story if you want. :D Thanks for reading.
There is no specific set of rules that a Kage should live by, yet there are many many unspoken rules for being a good Kage.
A Kage puts his village first. A Kage is not necessarily a good spouse or a good parent. Most of the time, a Kage is none of the above. Many Kages have done regrettable things to their family, all for the good of the village.
A Kage cares naught for his own life but protects each and every life in his village with utmost care. They would throw themselves into battle again and again, wounds open and oozing blood, feet heavy and chakra exhausted if it would mean that they could save the village.
Just because a Kage spends much time in the office dealing with paperwork does not mean that he or she will grow soft because one must not forget that a Kage is the strongest the village has to offer. Underestimating them would be suicidal. Because they are shinobi that have been recognized for their skills in battle.
A Kage learns over the years that they must steel themselves against everything. For what the village needs in the heat of battle is not just a strong fighter. They have plenty of those. They need a strong leader, calm, rational and steadfast. Even if all the Kage wants to do is cry, the Kage must not. Kages rule with an iron fist and steely mask, they lead the village with a strong front through it all. That is what differentiates a Kage from a strong shinobi.
Tsunadehas seen it all, she has seen countless of deaths, she had lost everyone she cared about and she is not afraid to admit that she had lost herself for a while, drowning in gambling in alcohol.
She is the symbol of strength in kunoichi. The only female in the legendary Sannin, known for her strength and medical techniques. To her, perhaps because she is a medic-nin, a Kage means to heal. There are plenty of wounds you can suffer from, those where you bleed, and those that affect your heart. She cannot to claim to know as much about heart wounds as she knows about ailments and battle wounds. She is still a beginner after all. A Kage lives to be helped and to help. One cannot become a Kage without support and a village cannot survive without a strong Kage to support it.
Tsunade understands what it means to be helped. She understands that for her, help came in her apprentice, Shizune, help came in her old teammate, the perverted but reliable Jiraiya. Help came in the form of a blonde boy, Naruto Uzumaki. She would never have made it this far without them. Tsunade knows she may not be the strongest shinobi around, but after years of being the Hokage, she also understands that Jiraiya was not wrong, that the council was not wrong in choosing her as the Godaime.
After all, Kages depend on the village as much as the village depends on them.
Hiruzen has out lived most of his graduating class. He has been growing old for a while now, he is growing weaker and he is nothing like what he was in his prime. Yet he still is a formidable force. He is not known as the God of Shinobi for nothing.
He smiles lightly, as he forms the seals calling the Shinigami. This is the seal that has saved the village of Konoha once. He does not fear death, because he could not ask to die any other way. He does not fear the Shinigami, because although it would mean the end of his life, it also means he has done his job as a Hokage. He has made the ultimate sacrifice. There is no other way a Kage wants to die, every Kage wishes for death protecting the village. This was what Kages were meant to do, this is what they will try to do till the very end. Protecting the village is the duty of a Kage. One cannot expect to be a Kage people can respect if they are unwilling to sacrifice. There is glory in death.
Being a Kage is a glorious job, but hidden under the Kage hat, inside the sleeves of the robes of a Kage, there is sacrifice. Blood and dirty secrets, the Kage robes come stained with blood, reeking of honor and sacrifice. It is not all glorious, and all the best Kages understand that. They understand that and they live by that.
Minato is a Hokage first and a father second. He is a good protector and a exemplary leader but he cannot claim to be a good father. He knows this, as he takes his son and heads to the battlefield. Naruto is crying, wailing loudly, and Minato smiles at him slightly. A sad sad smile. His son is but a few hours old and yet he already is expecting so much from Naruto. This for the good of the village he tells himself, his heart breaking. The next time he meets Naruto, he will say that Naruto can hate him all he wants.
He fears a whole damn lot actually, contrary to what they say, he is afraid of death. But one can never see that as he steels his face, blue eyes staring right into the red ones of the Kyuubi. At that point, he looks every bit of the Hokage he is. Strong, fearless and invincible. To him, he did not fall sealing the Kyuubi into his son. It was never a loss, it was, to him, a choice to save the village he loves. He did not lose anything and he did not fail because Konoha lives to see another day.
He can see, as life fades from his eyes, the metallic taste of blood in his mouth, shinobi standing before him. They stare at him, eyes watery. He smiles at them and at the blonde child lying before him. He tries to tell them with his eyes that he is okay. That there is no need to grieve, that it was a Kages duty to die for the village. He does not regret his short reign as Kage and he does not regret his actions.
The Sandiame Raikage is undoubtedly the strongest Raikage Kumogakure has ever seen. He kills and he strikes, his lightning armor glowing a light blue around him, his arms stretched, fingers slicing through the flesh of the enemies. Enemies die before him, falling to his ultimate spear.
He tells his comrades to run, he tells them to leave him as he stands, a lone figure against ten thousand shinobi. He looks so small, but his formidable figure protects his comrades. They hesitate, and he glares at them, giving his last order for them to leave. As they cast one last glance and start to retreat, his figure glows blue, and it becomes a bloodbath. He cuts through lines after lines of shinobi, the damage too much for medics to heal.
The Sandiame Raikage does not fall easily. It takes ten thousand enemy shinobi against him three days and nights to finally put him to rest. When his eyes finally shut, he is only grateful that he was able to fight hold off the enemy shinobi till his comrades could escape. The pain of the shuriken and kunais piercing him, his body still sizzling from fire jutsus, fade off into a numbing pain. Even in death, he mocks his enemies, a smile on his face. He knows he has done his job as the Raikage.
Thus is the life of a Kage, there will be death and there will be suffering in the life of a shinobi, but a Kage faces much more than that of a regular shinobi. They take the pain and suffering of their shinobi, defending them till the life seeps out from their eyes, till they lie in a pool of blood, till they feel their soul leaves their body.