Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY. I just do this for fun.

A/N: This is what happens when I take NyQuil and have conversations with people. I come up with things like this. The prompt was (at least I think is was) 'Space Alien Accountant Weiss and Space Pirate/Smuggler Ruby'.

Yeah, NyQuil does things to me. But, hey, it turned out much better than I thought.

Enjoy.

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Accountant Needed: Atlesians Need Apply

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I had a thing for Atlesians from the first moment I saw one. My friends said I was crazy. My sister said I was crazy. I said I was crazy. But still, crazy is as crazy does. And I was crazy about Atlesians.

Unfortunately for me, they didn't leave their home world much. They had this whole thing about 'unity' and taking care of each other as opposed to other species. But every now and again one of them went off-world to sow some wild oats, as it were, and then went back to 'serve her people'. Oh, didn't I mention that part? Yep, they're all female. I could totally get in on that.

Good thing for me that Atlesians and Valiens have got some crucial things in commons. A couple of xenogenetic researchers even say we're both from the same original species. I mean, it'd kinda suck to have a thing for critters that could only live in methane or were all slimy with tentacles everywhere…

Hmm…

Anyway, good thing for any Atlesian I managed to get lucky with too, I hoped. Especially if they had a thing for short mammals with hair in weird places.

My extra fingers and toes - well, normal for me, extra for most species anyway - and pink, pale skin are all a souvenir from growing up on Patch. Just one of those little colony worlds on the outskirts of Valien space. That's my home world, a nifty little place that started out an old penal colony. And just like our ancestors, Valiens like to ship their troubles into space. Patch isn't a great place to grow old in, it's all jungle and swamp with all sorts of nasties lurking in it. Good times.

I jumped ship with my sister and got the hell outta there when we were both old enough to leave dirtside. Since it was obvious that breeding or joining some merc group wasn't in our future, we decided to take our chances and make a living for ourselves. It's just as well; I'm more of a lover than a fighter anyhow, and definitely the wrong kind of lover for Patch for sure.

But back to my thing for Atlesians. I saw my first one a standard year or two back when I was wandering around a spaceport on Menagerie acting like your average off-world hick. It wasn't that hard to do, since the main spaceport on Menagerie is bigger than even the largest city on Patch. The place is set up in overlapping, concentric circles with a big market in the center, all sealed under a big dome to keep out the sweltering heat and noxious chemicals from the atmosphere. Or maybe it was to help keep the biomolecule harvesters on planet and bringing in income, depending on who you talk to. Point is, it's a helluva big port.

There was every kind of being and machine you could think of, including things I'd never seen, let alone heard of before. I was pretty much breaking every rule in The Guide to Interplanetary Etiquette. My sister and our crew, Menagerie-native Blake, quiet and down-to-vale Ren, and don't-ever-make-her-mad Nora, had to keep hold of my belt to keep me from wandering off.

So I was gaping even before I saw her. She was even shorter than I was - though, not by much - with huge eyes, her pupils swallowed up by a bright blue. The air seemed to shimmer around her, the air around her dropping to sub zero temperatures and flash-freezing the moisture around her as well as the sweat on her pale skin so that it wafted around her like a perpetual mist, and she were simply floating through it instead of walking.

Her snowy white hair hung loosely down around her shoulders, and she idly played with it as she talked to some Faunus who were trying to sell her something. There was just something so dainty, but still really strong about her, you know? I gaped even more, especially while I looked from the curves of her breasts to the four icy claws that sheathed her fingertips.

I elbowed Yang and pointed, quite rudely. "What's she?"

Whatever I was thinking must have showed on my face and in my voice, because while Nora snorted, Yang rolled her eyes and deferred to Blake. The Faunus looked disgruntled, but eventually answered, "You don't need to become an ice-breaker-" the others winced at the seemingly rude comment. "The chances of her saying yes are a million to one. Plus you'd have to find one that was a total anomaly to do the kinds of stuff you were talking about last night."

Both Yang and Nora snickered, and even Ren looked amused. In truth, I had been pretty forthcoming in my cups the previous night.

I drew myself up and fell back on my sore pride. "I was asking… for science. Yes. For science." Because science is a thing.

That make Blake shoot me a sly smile, but she shook her head and answered. Far be it for her to denounce my fetishes, anyway. After all, she was bonded to my sister. But, buddy that she is, she told me what she knew about Atlesians, which wasn't all much. Afterward, I went and trailed her all over the spaceport like some kind of lovesick puppy until she got back on her ship and lifted off.

From then on, I was hooked. I couldn't tell you exactly what it was, but I just had to be with an Atlesian. Even though they looked more-or-less humanoid, there was something so incredibly alien about them, but really beautiful too. Plus I'm always fascinated by what I think I can't have, especially if it's female. Bad habit. I looked up everything I could find on Atlesians on the holonet, the Encyclopedia Galactica, you name it. That's how I know so much about their homeworld.

I only found out that, her Faunus prejudices aside, Blake was right. The chance of me finding one who'd even about getting sexy with me was pretty damn slim. They generally stuck to their own kind and the exceptions were pretty rare. I had a hell of a time even gleaning that much, and I spent many a sleepless night wondering how they choose partners - their word - anyway. I mean, I'd probably freeze my tits off.

But damn it if I wouldn't try regardless.

I decided to keep hope alive by staying in practice. With that in mind, I did things I hadn't even dreamed of back on Patch. And I dreamed a hell of a lot, so that's saying something. None of it got me any closer to an Atlesian, but it was still fun. I never lost my thing for them either; all that time, all those females of different shapes and sizes, and I still wanted one of them.

So the long and short of it was that I ended up back on Menagerie again, since that was part of our long run through a couple of solar systems. The bar I chose to enter catered to those with preferences like mine, female to female contact, lots of different species. That meant that it had to be big enough for sealed spaces with different air and climate control for the clientele. Pretty damn pricey, too, but we had just gotten paid from a big drop so my credit was good.

Blake had just told me about the place, with lots of motherly warnings from Yang about not wanting what I couldn't have and a big cheezy thumbs up from Nora. Then they dropped me off to go hang out while I scoped out my latest conquest. I found myself an empty table and settled in. There was plenty to look at; lots of females from different planets and systems, all manner of shapes, colors and sizes. I was checking out a cute Sanusian - from a neighboring system to Vale - with long braids twisted together with shells and bits of metal, when she walked in.

I could have sworn it was the same Atlesian I had seen on my last trip here. She had the same look but a little tougher, if you could say that about her species. Since she was alone, I figured I was in luck, especially since by now I'd read everything there was about their mating rituals. I got up and approached casually which she was still looking around.

I stopped a respectable distance away. "Greetings. Do you require a companion?" I hated the formality, but every source I had on them stressed the importance of it… at least, until they got comfortable around you.

Those big blue eyes turned on me and she cocked her head to one side. I had to try not to swoon. She continued to look at me and I averted my eyes, so as not to seem too eager. I was like wanting a holostar - they looked hot, but maybe they were duller that servodrones when you got too close. I stood there hoping that my wondering was about to come to a screeching halt, but ready for the worst.

"Perhaps," she said, mist puffing out from her mouth as her pale lips parted. "What do you have to offer?"

"Whatever you like," I responded, praying that all my research on how their species did things was accurate. If not, I'd totally blown it.

She circled around me, looking me over. I could hear the light click-click of her clawed feet on the floor and I started to shake with nerves. Or maybe it was the sudden cold that seemed to coalesce around her when she got too close. She finished her rotation and faced me, then gestured at me with a long, icy fingernail. Heart ready to jump out of my mouth or out of my leggings - I wasn't sure which - I followed her as she walked off.

Her top plunged low in the back, giving me a nice view of pale skin through her stark white hair. Just below the shirt, her long, slender legs shot out from the bottom of her skirt, and my mouth watered as I imagined running my tongue across the little dips in the backs of her knees. I idly wondered if it would be like licking an ice cube, and if my tongue would stick to her or not. Still, I hoped till it hurt that I was her 'anomaly'. No surprise that I very nearly ran into her when she stopped at one of the booths.

Stumbling around her, I slid suavely into the seat across from her and wondered what to say to get off on the right foot, so to speak. I needn't have bothered. She took a long look at me with those big blue eyes. I knew I'm not bad looking by Valien standards, but if you don't like them with little body hair, or short, or pink and fleshy, then that isn't saying much.

A fresh layer of mist seemed to hover around her and the air grew colder as she regarded me. "What do you want?" she asked softly. I could see her nostrils flaring just a little. Could she smell me? Valiens are known for having a particular body odor when we're interested in being more than casual pals. How the hell would she interpret it? I didn't know what, if anything, that would mean to her.

Nerves and want increased my anxiety till it settled around me like a cloud; an antipathy to her misty vapor. Through it all, I managed to mumble, "You."

She ordered a drink, something I'd never heard of before. Maybe this Atlesian was different, after all. Then, "Will you do anything I tell you to? Anything at all?"

I looked into those blue eyes and whispered, "Yes." Much as I wanted to find out what she could possibly want, I was scared shitless to find out for certain. But, there we go. Points for my side.

"Unfasten your top."

I blinked. Here? My eyes darted around the crowded bar. Sure, it was dark, but not all that dark. Very slowly, I unfasted the top of my uniform.

"Keep going," she commanded from the other side of the table, seeming farther away every minute. I did so. "Open it all the way. Let me see you."

I spread my uniform open, exposing my breasts. They weren't much to look at, if I were perfectly honest, not like my sister's or even Nora's were, but they do the trick in a clutch. I sat there feeling multiple eyes zero in on our booth, until the manager hissed in mild annoyance, her serpent-like tongue flicking out past her teeth. She slithered past us and pressed the button that raised the semi-private shield. It blocked the view to the booth a little, but we would still have to make it opaque to completely seal it off. But when she didn't move toward the controls to darken the shield, neither did I.

"Let me see what you do to make yourself feel good." Damnit, I wanted to touch her, not myself!

My frustration must have shown on my face because she slowly lifted her drink to her mouth and pursed her lips, blowing gently on the electric blue concoction. Its surface iced over a little and her tongue - small and pink, shockingly enough - darted out to taste the partially frozen drink as she looked at me. Well, that made me want to put on a hell of a show. I'd make her want closer contact with me if it was the last thing I did.

I ran my hands over my nipples, tweaking them, pinching them, them in turn until my breathing sounded heavy even to my ears. I glanced away from her at the bar's other patrons, still partially visible through the shield. Several of them watched, eyes moving eagerly over my body. I cupped my breasts and held them out toward her and the others watching. My could smell myself in the sealed booth and noticed with a giddy sort of validation that she had begun to look vaguely interested.

I could get used to this.

Still rolling one of my nipples between my fingers, I slid one hand down to my pants.

"Remove them," she murmured.

I shuddered. I didn't like being this vulnerable in public, especially not to someone I didn't know shit about. But all those watching eyes made me hot and scared, all mixed together, and after choking off the voice inside that asked if I'd lost all my sense, I dropped my uniform and stood, my cute little naked body exposed to the world.

"Sit," she ordered. I did. I just loved taking orders. "Spread your legs." I spread my legs out as far as they would go, almost keeling over from my own smell. "Continue." I slid my fingers, one at a time, into myself. I was nice and slick, what with finding this whole new side of myself I hadn't known before.

I slipped two, three, then five fingers inside and started moving them in and out. The walls of my vagina became slicker and started clenching around my fingers. I watched her under my eyelashes while she sat there watching me. She shimmered with mist, barely perceivable crystals of ice flaking off from her skin and settling all around her like her own personal snow flurry. Over her shoulder, I caught the eyes of someone - some sort of lizard Faunus that had been watching me the whole time - and held them. She watched me like I was an after-dinner treat and she just couldn't get enough.

It's hard enough to get a good angle when you're trying to stick your own fist inside yourself, but I was giving it my best shot. The Atlesian just kept watching. Damned if I could tell if I was having any effect of her, but I was having fun at least. I got wetter and wetter, making space inside for my entire fist. All that attention was like shooting starshine and I was flying higher than the dome over the port. I looked into those blue eyes and pumped harder.

Finally I came. Hard. It was the best orgasm I ever had. Maybe it was the thrill, but it felt like something that wasn't my hand pulled out of me, like it was something else entirely. Thinking about it made me quake harder. I came back down, still looking into her eyes.

What was she going to do now?

It surprised me as much as it did our watching audience. She popped a credit piece into the slot, clouded the windows and tossed me my uniform. "You have entertained me ably. I don't wish to be unappreciative." With that, she slid some credit pieces on the table, unsealed the door and walked out. Just like that. Leaving me with a sealed cube in a girl bar clutching my uniform like it was the only familiar thing in the world.

Shit.

There was a slight rap on the security shield while I was sitting there like I was a fixture in the booth. I keyed the lock, thinking maybe she had come back. I could always hope. The lizard Faunus from before came sliding in, her darker skin shifting between different colors as she reset the shield behind her.

"Hey," she said, smirking slightly. Her thin, forked tongue slid out and swept across her bottom lip. "I saw what happened. I thought you could use some company."

Well, shit again. On any other day of the week I'd have jumped on that sort of invite. But I thought about my beautiful ice-queen walking out of the bar and out of my life and I looked at this attractive, sturdy, lizard-girl, curves spilling out of her uniform. I looked at the large pile of credits the Atlesian had left. Grabbing my uniform, I pulled it on. I leaned over to the Faunus and kissed her, long and slow, on the lips. I nearly changed my mind right there as her tongue flicked out and slid down, ticking my tonsils.

"Thank you. You're beautiful and any other night I'd love to be with you, but I gotta go after her. It's just something I have to do. Have a night on me." I pushed the credits toward her and jumped out of the booth while the shield was still coming down.

I couldn't see her in the bar so I headed for the door. A big bear Faunus stepped in my way like a living boulder. "Hey pretty…" she rasped. I dove between her legs without effort. Tonight was not the night I would have picked to be popular with this crowd. I was running now, out the door and into the alley that passed for an Old Port Street. It was the only spaceport I'd seen big enough to have its own slums. What a place. She wasn't in sight so I headed for a guy waiting at the street's end that looked like he knew his way around.

I tossed him a credit and demanded, "Atlesian. Which way did she go?"

He snorted, but pocketed the chit. "You too, honey? You gotta be the third one tonight, not including the Black Fang. Last I saw she was headed that way." He gestured down into a maze of dark alleyways.

Well, that was ominous.

I kept running. I didn't think about the Black Fang, Menagerie's private security force. Must be big time if they were chasing her. But I was going to get there first. I had to.

I shot down a couple more alleys. Still no sign of her. I collapsed against a wall. Planetary gravs always wiped me out. Of course, it was at that moment that she rounded the corner. It was fate, I just knew it. Ste stopped to look at me, her skin darkening to a grey color I hadn't seen before and the air around her roiled with thick mist.

What little sense I had kicked in and I dropped into a defensive stance. Years of growing up with my brawler of a sister instilled a pretty sturdy sense of self preservation into me, and I didn't want to be on the receiving end of those nasty-looking claws in less than an affectionate mood.

"I already paid you for your services. What more do you want?"

Where to begin? "I didn't want payment. I wanted to be with you," I said, with all the words tumbling out on top of each other. Then I scared myself by starting to cry. I hadn't cried since I left Patch. Shit. So much for handling rejection like a champ.

She studied me for a long moment. "I didn't mean to cause you distress, but I wonder why you are reacting this way. Did I do something wrong?" Her words are cool as the air around her, but honestly curious.

I pawed at my eyes stubbornly. "No, not exactly. It's just that I've dreamed of having a lover from your people." I paused, just then realizing that I sounded like she was interchangeable with the millions of other Atlesians out there. For that matter, as far as my fantasy went, she was. Woopsie. Maybe not the best impression I could be making if I wanted this conversation to go anywhere.

"Why choose me?" she asked, putting her proverbial claw on the very thing that I hoped would slip by her. Shit. Well, at least I had stopped crying.

"You picked me, remember?" I mumbled, pulling the shreds of my pride together. Her hair glistened with ice crystals and her skin brightened slightly - she was amused, I realized. "Come with me to my room tonight," I said, my tone filled with hope.

"There is only one way we can be together the way you want. But it requires a great sacrifice."

Her voice was like a crystal bell in a silent room. I shivered, but I asked anyway. "Why?"

For the first time since I saw her, she seemed unsure. "It's… not safe to partner with others not like myself. Many have gotten hurt."

I latched onto the one thing I knew I could say with absolute certainty. "I can take a little pain."

"That's what they all say at first."

Well, that… was definitely an unseen obstacle in my fantasy. I wondered what I could do to convince her, but she didn't let me think on it. She cocked her head to the side, listening. "I've stayed too long. I must go. The Black Fang are looking for me. So are others."

"Why are they looking for you?" I blurted out.

"I…" she hesitated, "stole from my previous crew. Or rather, I stole what they stole first. They were embezzling trillions of credits from trade routes to and from my world, and when I found out-" she paused, her complexion growing lighter and the air around us becoming colder.

"You stole back from them," I finished the thought. "Nice. How'd you manage that?"

"I balance their books," she said, her tone laced with sardonicism. Her face grew brighter, her satisfaction clear. "It was simple enough to track their income and ascertain my suspicions." Then she sobered. "I cannot risk being caught."

She started to move away and without thinking, I reached out and grabbed her hand. It was cold to the touch, almost painful - like touching frozen carbon dioxide - and I forced myself to keep that hold. "I know a faster way," I said, tugging gently but firmly at her hand.

I pulled her down the maze of alleyways and backstreets that made up the old port. She moved faster than me, but she slowed down to keep pace with my jog easily. I ignored the constant chill that settled around me like a cold blanket, and the burn of her hand in mine, and I started to hope again. If she stayed with me, maybe I still had a chance. Maybe she didn't mean what she'd just said.

I took her down some back ways that Blake had told me about, and we hid behind recyc containers and whatever else we could find when anyone passed. I had a crazy idea about smuggling her out as freight on my ship, and whispered it to her because it sounded good. She just looked at me with her big blue eyes and said, "I'm grateful to you, but I made other arrangements."

Damn. My bad luck was working overtime, it seemed. But since we were there and she was that close to me anyway, I couldn't resist running my hand down her bare arm. It was slick and soft, totally at odds with my initial thought of it being like touching an ice cube; that I would stick to it or something. My fingers glided down her cold skin, tingling with the idea of actually, physically touching a real live Atlesian. I slowly - though, much too quickly for my liking - pulled my hand back, but not before that little gesture of mine was interpreted as an invitation.

Suddenly, she pulled me down a more secluded alley, not that any of them were well lit or populated this time of night. One clawed hand pressed my face against the rust-colored brick wall. "Decide," she hissed harshly in my ear. "Do you want this?"

"W-why now?" I asked the brick wall.

"Because you interest me. Because-" She breathed out sharply, a puff of chill against my ear. "Because you're persistent."

Well, golly gee. Let it never be said being persistent doesn't give you what you want.

"My sister always said my stubbornness would get me into trouble eventually," I said, grinning idiotically.

"Decide," she repeated. Then there was a pause. "It will be painful."

Shit, I was already wet again at the thought of it. "Hell yes."

That seemed to do it. She pulled me around and we dashed down the alley, darting into an out-of-the-way alcove. I was barely able to turn around to face her when she shoved me against the wall again, her claws sliding into my uniform without resistance. I felt the cold bite of her nails against my bare skin, and with a single swipe of her claws, she ripped my top right off my back. The cool air hit me at the same moment her hand palmed my breast, and I hissed, scraping the back of my head on the wall. I quickly shuffled my feet to steady myself, ready for the next move.

I wasn't. A couple swipes later I was on my hands and knees in front of her. Another slash and my leggings were a tattered mess, and I was a groaning, quivering pile of Valian.

This was all I'd thought about for months. Hell, years. I wanted to feel those claws on me, all around. I wanted to feel the icy bite of her body slide against me, and the painful thrust of her nails inside me, give up everything to someone so alien I could barely understand the way she thought. I threw back my head and keened, not giving a damn about the Black Fang or anyone else.

One of those long, slender hands with their sharp claws slapped over my mouth, closing it off against my groans. The burn along my skin was making me float, high as a satellite and damn near ready to pass out. I hadn't had this much fun since basic training.

I felt her run a single claw down my back and over my ass. I could feel a thin line of blood well up, and then hissed against her hand as the blood froze almost instantly. Then I felt her other hand dip down between my legs and I spread them as wide as I could. I yelped as her claws slid inside me, then her hand abandoned my mouth and drew a trio of bloody stripes from my shoulders down to my ass. Instead of crying out, I whimpered piteously; begging for her not to stop. I wanted more of her, wanted to feel her claws and her tongue - her pink little tongue - inside me.

I could feel that same tongue run down my back, over the stripes of blood that she had drawn, lapping at the frozen lines like a delicacy. Then she started licking her way down between my legs so I could feel the icy touch of her stroking from one end of my slit to the other.

I groaned, arching my back against the biting pain at the feeling of her claws and tongue working at me at the same time.

This time, we didn't have an audience, but my reaction didn't change. Another cut followed her claw down my back, and her little tongue darted in and out of me, working around her claws. It hurt like a bitch, but having wanted it for so long kept me going. I could feel my skin growing numb and her nails rubbing and scraping along my inner walls, feeling like I was being laid open from the inside. I was having a hell of a time deciding whether to pass out from the pain or to come.

"Can I-ugh- can I come?" I whined. In answer, she hissed and shoved her hand in deeper, twisting inside me until I came so hard I couldn't breath, shuddering from the pain, the cold, and the sheer force of my orgasm. I'd given up on any willpower that I'd had long before this; she could do damn near anything to me and I'd come again and again.

I collapsed onto the pavement, just barely able to catch myself before face planting on the grit and dirt. My back end was still up in the air receiving her ministrations - though she was noticeably gentler. Her finger-claws slid in and out a few more times, then she yanked them out and smacked me across the ass. That got a reaction. I yelped, and before I could do anything else she shoved back inside me and curled them, fucking me slowly.

I shuddered all over when I came again, then blacked out for a minute before hitting the pavement. When I came around she had pulled me up against the wall and was cradling me in her arms, her eyes sharp and focused on the alleyway across from us. I barely even noticed the air around us shimmering with mist and crystals of ice, casting a heavy blanket around the area.

"What… what is it?" I asked, not even recognizing my own voice for the reedy whisper I heard.

She didn't answer for a while, and I had almost drifted off to sleep when she finally spoke. "It's safe now. We need to go."

It took me a couple of beats to pick out the 'we' in her words, and despite the situation, I grinned.

"Does that mean-" I swallowed weakly. "-you chose me? We're... partners?" Call me ambitious, but I sort of wanted to know after being fucked like that.

Her large blue eyes flicked down to me and she slowly smiled. "I don't see any way out of it now," she said, sardonically. "After all, you are extraordinarily stubborn."

"Heh. True that."

See that? Being stubborn eventually gets you what you want.

Hell, the cold never bothered me anyway.

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A/N: And that's that. Sad part is, I can see this being an actual storyline in a Scifi RWBY AU. Or maybe I'm just insane. Which is, coincidentally, not untrue.

Anyhoo, Happy holidays!

***Will work for glomps***