AUTHOR'S NOTES:

This was my 2018 DramioneLove Mini Fest Round 3 (dramionelove . livejournal . com) entry. The fest is long over and reveals are out, so now I can post this for you here. This fanfic is finished. It is a one-shot.

My prompt for the fest was: #75 - Alice In Wonderland-Diamonds and Clubs - Hermione's a diamond thief. Draco catches her stealing.

Prompt requirements: fic must be between 1000 to ~2500 words

Many thanks to my beta, WronskiiiFeint, who pinch-beta'd at the last moment. Life saver! THANK YOU!

DISCLAIMER: "Harry Potter" is the property of J.K. Rowling and Warner Bros. This fanfiction was written entirely for fun, not for profit, and no copyright infringement is intended.

TIMELINE: Post-Hogwarts, EWE (2005).

MAIN CHARACTERS FEATURED (alphabetical order, last name): Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy

SECONDARY CHARACTERS FEATURED (alphabetical order, last name): Michael Corner, Gerard Robards

SUMMARY: Auror Draco's been given a mandate by his boss: catch the smiling cat burglar or find himself another line of work. Who knew seeking redemption would be this much work!

RATING: PG-13

WARNINGS: None.

EXTRA NOTES: The Sovereign's Sceptre is an actual piece of the British crown jewels and the Great Star of Africa (also called the Cullinan Diamond) is its centerpiece and is the largest gem-quality rough diamond ever found, weighing 3,106.75 carats (621.35 g). All chapter lead-ins and the fic's final quote are from Lewis Carroll's "Alice's Adventures in Wonderland".

FLAWLESS

By: RZZMG

~.~.~.~.~

"It would be so nice if something made sense for a change."

~.~.~.~.~

Draco fidgeted in his seat and began to sweat.

His boss, Gawain Robards, was giving him the cold once-over of a man seriously debating the merits of dragging his most troublesome employee over to his office's private bathroom and flushing him down the toilet, head-first. It would, after all, rid him of their long-standing, combative relationship with simple convenience and no mess to clean-up.

"So, no one has actually seen your thief?" he asked Draco, his tone of voice heavy with skepticism and the unmistakable drawl of mounting irritation. "And you're alleging the reason is because the jewel thief is…invisible?"

"Yes, sir," Draco replied, all polite for show, but inside writhing in anger that he was once again forced to explain his every investigative action and discovery to his boss, who micromanaged him to within an inch of his life. Potter wasn't treated like this, and neither had Weasley and Longbottom for their brief stints wearing the badge. No, it was only Draco that Robards picked over with a fine-toothed flea comb. "Disillusioned, I believe."

Robards' expression went as flat as a serpent's about to strike, and Draco mentally searched for where in their conversation he'd given his boss the ammunition he'd needed to come after him, wand blazing.

Clearly, the man planned to use this case to win his opportunity to shame Draco out of the Ministry once and for all, and his reasons for wanting to do so were as clear as the 'Twenty-Five Year Long-Service' plaque on his wall: as a veteran government employee and loyalist, Robards had been vehemently opposed to Voldemort's attempts to take over his job. Consequently, he'd never liked a Malfoy entering service under his watch, especially one branded with the Dark Mark. That was why from the moment Draco had applied for Auror training, ten years prior, the Head of the Auror Office had set impossible tasks before him. Despite those numerous attempts to flush him out in disgrace, however, Draco had persisted.

Now, however, he thought it quite likely that this would be the case to send him packing. Robards seemed determined to that course anyway.

"Disillusioned? Yet you just admitted you could see her smiling at you?"

"Yes, sir, her mouth was quite visible, despite the spell."

"Because she wore lipstick?"

He nodded, feeling his mouth start to water at the memory.

Some men were set to drool over a woman's arse, others had a thing for their breasts. Draco was a mouth man. Nothing got him over the top like the fantasy of a woman's lips wrapped around him or her tongue licking his flesh like a lolly. Full lips smeared by red lip-colour, with a heart-shaped bow at the top

As if he could read where Draco's thoughts had gone, Robards scoffed and turned his head to look over his shoulder at the younger man stationed only a few feet behind, in the shadows. The man's toadying lackey, Michael Corner, came into the light to address him.

"Auror Malfoy, it isn't possible for a Disillusionment Charm to be selective of the parts it covers," he reminded them both with a wry smirk and a mocking tone. "That's not how the spell works, or have you forgotten your school lessons?"

Draco had to bite back on the auto-response he had to Corner, recognizing that the man was technically his superior, too. The wanker had also been the number two student in their Hogwarts graduating class—miles behind that sexy, little swot, Hermione Granger, but still feet ahead of the rest of them—and he was even more an insufferable know-it-all than she'd been. Having been out of school for the last decade hadn't changed that fact.

"I'm aware," he told his former classmate, barely holding onto civility. Corner got on his pecs worse than even Weasley had. "This particular thief has proven quite adept at finding the flaws in spells and potions and exploiting them, however." He turned to Robards. "Sir, she's already managed to get around ancestral blood wards to rob the Parkinsons of a handful of Burmese rubies, the Notts to take some rare white sapphires, and as stated in my last report, I've finally deduced how our thief managed to trick her way into Gringotts to rob the Zabini vault of, specifically, fifteen round-cut green emeralds."

"I did read your report, Auror Malfoy," Robards archly replied, reaching across his desk for the file that held Draco's previous report. He opened it and scanned it for the part he wanted. "Here, you said she'd used Polyjuice Potion to transfigure into a Goblin."

Draco nodded. "Yes, sir."

Corner cleared his throat. "A clever theory, but based wholly off of the eyewitness testimony of one aging Goblin."

"Who saw the thief," Draco growled back.

"He saw another Goblin going into the lift. Hardly what constitutes proof."

"We found the emerald she'd dropped outside, and there was Polyjuice Potion residue on it."

Corner grinned like that fecking striped cat from that mad Muggle story Granger had given him back after his trial had ended, some drug-induced nonsense about a place called 'Wonderland'. "My team hasn't conclusively determined that yet. We're still in testing," he said with as smooth a lie as any Draco had ever heard. "For all we know, that smudge on the gem could have been mud."

As head of Forensics, Corner was in charge of M.L.E.'s labs…and he'd made it a habit to stall out Draco's use of his facilities for his investigations—on purpose, of course. He wanted to see Draco fail as much as his boss did.

He opened his mouth to argue with the guy, but Robards had clearly heard enough. He slammed his fist down on the desk to silence him. "Goblins, Polyjuice Potion…" He pointed at Draco with a menacing finger. "You've spent months on this investigation and we still don't have an arrest. I'm giving you two weeks to catch your invisible, smiling cat burglar or you'll be standing in the unemployment line. Are we clear, Auror Malfoy?"

"Yes, sir," Draco said, trying not sound angry or sullen. Corner would only smirk harder, and that might make him lose his shite finally and punch the guy into next Tuesday. He needed this job, if only so he could look in the mirror one day and see a man fully redeemed of his sins. That would more-than make up for the persecution and minuscule paycheck. "Crystal clear."

~.~.~.~.~

"Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle."

~.~.~.~.~

The minute Draco stepped out of the Floo, he knew he wasn't alone. Unfortunately, his reaction time had been slowed by mental exhaustion coupled with a couple of really strong shots of rum at his favourite local bar, The Mad Hatter's, and so his 'guest' disarmed him easily with a non-verbal Expelliarmus.

"You have my attention," he told the shadowy shape in the corner of his library as it moved closer.

"You're home early."

Just like that, he knew his visitor's identity: it was his cat burglar. "Going to remain invisible for this, too? Coward."

The female scoffed. "Cautious. You're good at your job and I'm not yet finished with mine."

"I know what you're doing," he told her, having figured out the pattern tonight while at the Muggle bar. Ironically, it had been a comment one patron had made about the British royals and their wealth that had tipped him off. The man had gone on about all the gems the toffs had in their collections, and how one big piece could easily feed the whole of England. "Rubies from the Parkinsons, sapphires from the Notts, and this last time, emeralds from the Zabinis—you accidentally dropped one, by the way. I recovered it for you." He moved into the room, shucking his coat and setting it across the back of a chair, then loosed the top three buttons of his shirt. "You're recovering the Sovereign's Sceptre's gems, which were taken years ago by Death Eaters for the nefarious purpose of funding Voldemort's war."

Her sexy, red lips turned up in a congratulatory grin. "You see, you're excellent at investigations. It's that ferrety nose of yours, I suspect, always able to sniff out subterfuge."

"Thanks to Slytherin training, love, and not your precious Potter's Auror Apprenticeship Program."

She laughed, and he knew his guess as to her real identity was also right when she didn't deny knowing Potter so intimately.

"I take it the large, drop-shaped diamond my father took was last on your list tonight, then?"

"The Great Star of Africa, yes."

Moving casually, he headed for the drink caddy. "You're honest for a thief," he said, pouring himself a full topper of Firewhisky.

"I'm no thief," she replied, a bit indignant. "I'm an agent of righting wrongs."

He laughed. "Do tell."

"Thieving would be defined as breaking into the Tower of London during the war and taking apart one of the most precious of the British Monarchy's Crown Jewels, and then hiding the stolen gems away inside your vaults and homes, hoping no one else would notice. I'm merely returning what it is your parents stole."

"So you're a thief of thieves."

"I'm retrieving the goods and putting them back."

"Why?"

She sighed, as if the answer was obvious and he was being intentionally dense. "Because if you're ever caught with them, Draco, there will be no trial. You'll all simply end up in a cell next to your parents in Azkaban. Old grudges die hard."

She didn't have to tell him that.

"Why would that bother you? It's where we'd all belong, according to many. Some of us " He gripped his left forearm. " would even deserve it."

She paused before answering. "You're not evil, Draco. You've worked hard to atone. You've become a good man, righting wrongs. Also, I find injustice to be a grating thing, and that's what it would become if you, Blaise, Theo, and Pansy were found with the gems."

With an easy-going stride, he closed the gap between them. "How very noble and Gryffindor of you, Granger."

As she gasped, realising in an instant her mistake in giving away too much in conversation and in not leaving sooner, he tossed the entire glass of Firewhisky in her face. With a scream, she threw off the Invisibility Cloak she'd been wearing, as it was now covered in alcohol and quite wet. "You fink!" She glared up at him and wiped the back of her hand over her wet mouth, smearing her red lipstick…and instantly getting Draco's attention. "Now I'll have to pay to launder that before slipping it back into Harry's trunk!"

Draco smirked at her predicament. "Wouldn't want the Boy Wonder knowing you stole from him, too, huh?"

She folded her arms under her breasts in indignation, and he couldn't help but notice how lovely the cleavage shot was from his higher vantage point. "Don't be flippant. I did all of this outlawing for you and your friends!"

Setting the empty glass down on a side table, he stepped closer to his co-worker in M.L.E. True, Granger wasn't in the Auror department, but she'd served the Minster well in her position as his Muggle Liaison to the Prime Minister of Britain since the war's ending. He'd done enough protection detail for her over that time to notice that she'd grown into a beauty, and he could admit he'd fixated more than once upon that lovely, plump, red mouth of hers…

"'Outlawing' isn't technically a verb."

"It is now," she huffed.

"Why help us?"

She poked him in the chest. "I already said. Besides, do you realise the chaos you've caused in the Muggle Prime Minister's office since he discovered the gems in the Sceptre were swapped out with fakes last year? The whole government is quietly, but frantically searching for them, and it's creating a political nightmare for Kingsley as eyes are starting to turn towards the wizarding world for answers."

Draco considered his position carefully, seeing an opportunity here. "Alright, you can have the diamond," he conceded.

Granger's face lit up. "Really?" A heartbeat later, she came to her senses and frowned in suspicion. "What do you want in exchange?"

Draco moved closer, withdrawing a handkerchief from his pocket and moving slowly, he handed it to her. "Say you'll have dinner with me tomorrow night."

She dabbed at her face and throat, and threw him a skeptical look. "A date with me is all you want in exchange for the diamond?"

"That's it."

Granger took a moment to think over his proposition, and in her eyes, he could see that she'd considered his mouth more than once, too.

"Okay, deal."

Grinning all the way up to his father's chambers, he retrieved Granger's Muggle diamond from his father's safe. This was the last of the gems his thieving sire had acquired over the years; the others Draco had already taken care of, assuring they were covertly returned to their original owners. This task was part of his redemption, and it was finally done.

~.~.~.~.~

"I wonder if I've been changed in the night."

~.~.~.~.~

Robards closed Draco's report and sat back in his chair, thin-lipped and clearly furious at being thwarted.

At Draco's side, Granger cleared her throat. "Once again, we in the Muggle Liaison Office would like to thank your department for your help in recovering the stolen gems. You have all done a great service today for the Ministry and the Muggle government, and the Minister was most pleased."

The Head of Draco's department merely looked from Draco to Granger and back again as if turning things over in his head. "You said the thief escaped capture, Ms. Granger, so it seems as if Mister Malfoy actually failed in his duty."

"On the contrary," Granger disagreed, giving him a sweet smile that oozed false charm. The woman had been hanging out too long with Shacklebolt, clearly. "Auror Malfoy was key to solving the thief's pattern and was able to recover the gems without a single loss. Even the one emerald sent to your labs has been returned to its rightful place."

Behind Robards, Michael Corner seemed to choke on his tongue at that. "T-That wasn't done being tested for magical signature residues!"

"It wasn't?" Granger feigned surprise. "Oh, well then that's a shame. It seems your labs bungled the best chance we had of finding out the thief's identity!"

Corner's face turned bright red, and he tried hard not to look at his boss, who was glaring at Draco through a narrowed gaze, knowing he'd been outwitted this time. "Well, it seems Auror Malfoy still has some work to do for us, then, doesn't he?" the man finally conceded, his hands tied in this case. "Best get to it."

As the door to his boss' office shut behind them, Draco wiped the sweat from his brow. It seemed he'd managed to avoid a head flushing and to keep his job for another day.

"About tonight," Granger said, turning to him as they walked side-by-side back to his office. "Where and when?"

"I'll owl you," he promised, feeling a stone's weight lighter. Before they parted ways, he stopped her with a hand on her arm. "Oh, and Granger…I love that lipstick you're wearing. Don't forget to reapply it for tonight."

She gave him a smile worthy of that freakishly sly Cheshire Cat fellow.

Draco watched her go, then turned and went into his office, which was still his office thankfully, and spent the rest of the afternoon day-dreaming of red lips and white diamonds.

.

~FIN~

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