Already, they had been sent out on three calls: a heart attack, a car wreck, and a motorcycle accident. Two of those had been almost instant fatalities.
Needless to say, it has been a miserable day thus far.
And, of course, to complete the experience, Johnny had been in one of those moods all morning. There had been something wrong with everything and a rant to accompany it all.
The two fatalities had not really helped matters, moving the young man's mood from irritated to a silent depression, which—in all honesty—has always been more difficult for Roy than when Johnny was ranting. Somewhat comical rants Roy can handle; that empty, sad expression in Johnny's eyes when they lose someone is something that nearly tears his heart out every time.
The kid is just so… sensitive about some things, though most people never catch on to that side of John Gage. In fact, Roy would nearly lay down money that he, Joanne, Dix, and maybe Cap are the only people to have figured that out about the young man.
Glancing across the table at his silently brooding partner and friend, he sighs. He knows exactly what his friend is thinking.
"There's nothing more we could've done, Junior."
The dark eyes snap up from the tabletop to Roy.
" 'course there was."
"Oh? Is that right? Well, enlighten me."
"We coulda… Well, there was… And… !" Brows furrowing in frustration, he scowls. "Well, I don't know! But, I'm sure there was…"
Again, the young man's eyes shift to the kitchen table, and Roy feels a stab of pain at the sight.
"Johnny, you know as well as I do that we did everything we possibly could have done… We can't win them all. Sometimes, we just… ease the suffering as much as we can…"
"It's not fair, Roy… That car wreck victim was a child! A five-year-old child! And what was the cause of the accident? A drunk who came out without a scratch! Why couldn't we save the child?!" he exclaims as he springs from his chair and begins to pace.
Shaking his head and sighing once more, the senior paramedic shrugs.
"I can't answer that…"
"No one can! Except…" he briefly halts his pacing to look up before resuming his round.
"You're right," Roy replies calmly, voice even.
"And why?! Why would He let a drunk survive and not that child? How is that fair that a young life was lost?!"
"I can't say that it is, Junior, but I also know that you and I did everything we possibly could, from the beginning to the end. Obviously, He had other plans and I guess He must've had a reason, even if we don't see it from here…"
The angry pacing stops and the dark-haired paramedic seems to almost fold in on himself as he trudges over to the chair beside his partner and sits, crossing his arms and leaning back.
"Guess you're right… Doesn't make it hurt any less, though…"
"I know it doesn't, but you can't blame yourself, Johnny," says Roy, clasping his friend's shoulder. "Every day's a new beginning. Every call's another chance to help somebody or save a life. You have to be focused to do that, and you can't be blaming yourself for something that was never your fault. You understand?"
"Yeah… I do…"
"Good. Now, why don't I make us some coffee and then we can turn the TV on until we get another call. How's that sound?"
Presenting the older man with a slight smile, Johnny nods.
"Yeah, Pally. Sounds good to me."
Fin.