Author's Note:
Hey, guys (and girls)! This is a one shot that I've been meaning to write for a while. :) It probably doesn't deserve an author's note, but if you've read any of my other stuff on this site then you know that I write obnoxiously long ANs even when I probably shouldn't. I'm aiming to take the title of "Earthbound Fanfiction writer who writes long and obnoxious ANs" from Phoesong (just kidding, you and your ANs are awesome, Phoesong! :P).
So now that I'm done talking about my own ANs (and other people's), I can get to the stuff that isn't completely insignificant. I LOVE LOVE LOVE getting reviews, so please tell me what you think of this story, okay? :D It can be compliments, criticism, or a combination of the two, but please refrain from Ad Hominem attacks, okay? ;) But seriously, I'm totally cool with criticism, so long as it's constructive. I want to get better at my writing, after all! :)
In this fanfic, both Ness and Ninten are 16 (meaning that they're in high school). This is an alternate universe (it kinda has to be if Ness and Ninten are the same age) where life is pretty peaceful. No Giygas or anything.
Also, I hope that you guys are enjoying your summer! ...That is, if you live in the northern hemisphere like I do. I'm currently out of town, and I'm having loads of fun. :) I hope that you guys are having just as much fun, if not more! It's important to do something memorable while you can, because you'll want to have powerful memories that will last decades. Or maybe you (unlike me) have a good memory and you don't need to worry about forgetting stuff. In that case, feel free to look at cat pictures on the internet all day! :)
Okay, rant over. Enjoy the story and please review... if you want to, of course. I wouldn't want to pressure you into reviewing when you don't want to, but it would be hard to pressure you guys even if I tried since you can ignore me and I won't know. But still, do whatever makes you feel comfortable! :)
Ness walked out onto the baseball field with the new kid, feeling the sun's rays lighten the mood.
Ninten, Ness thought. His name is Ninten.
It astounded Ness how similar he and Ninten looked. They both had the same raven-black hair, charcoal eyes, and stocky build. However, the two boys wore drastically different expressions. Ness had always been told that his face looked like a stone, serious and unchanging. Ninten couldn't be more different. He tended to skulk around, examining every detail around him with piercing eyes and a discerning smile. He would observe the world as if he saw jokes in the pots and window panes that only he could understand.
But Ninten started acting different once he stepped onto the baseball field. He walked around with wide eyes, seeming to take in the world with outspoken awe rather than reclusive humor. He bent down and touched the dirt in the infield, closing his eyes and whispering something that Ness didn't hear.
Okay… Ness thought. What is this kid doing?
Ninten's eyes flashed back open. He noticed Ness' confusion and the corners of his mouth twitched upward to form a reserved smile that Ness had already grown to expect.
"It's been so long since I last found myself on a baseball field," Ninten explained, putting a hand over his heart. "I can feel my heartstrings jerk from nostalgia… I had forgotten how much I love this."
Ninten took a deep breath and widened his eyes as if he saw a tropical paradise in front of him rather than a bland field.
"Isn't that a little dramatic?" Ness asked.
Ninten cocked his head in thought, seeming to view Ness' question as a tantalizing puzzle rather than a critique.
"Yeah, I suppose. So, you said that you want to practice catching and throwing?"
Ness nodded. Normally, he preferred to practice with one of his friends, but none of them were free at the moment. Ness wondered how helpful this kid would be… After all, he hadn't even tried out for the team!
Ninten smirked and put his mitt on. He tossed a baseball up into the air nonchalantly and let it fall into his gloved palm.
And now he's trying to show off, Ness thought.
"So, how far apart do you want to stand?" Ninten asked.
Ness shrugged.
"About 20 feet?"
Ninten raised an eyebrow.
"You sure about that?"
"Why not?"
Ninten shrugged as if it meant nothing to him.
"Don't you want to challenge yourself? 20 feet is nothing."
I'm looking to improve my precision, Ness thought. It will be a challenge no matter what.
"I guess… 30 feet, then?"
"That's a little harder…" Ninten trailed off. "I guess we'll go with 30 feet. Here, you stand at home plate, and I'll walk halfway to the pitcher's mound."
So he has the distance from home plate to the pitcher's mound memorized? Ness thought. Weird kid.
Ninten strode over to his designated spot and stretched his arms to the sky.
"Man, this feels good."
"We haven't even started yet," Ness pointed out.
Ninten grinned.
"Yeah, I know. Do you want me to throw fast or slow?"
"Is medium an option?" Ness asked.
"Sure."
Ninten gripped the ball with his throwing hand and tossed it at Ness.
WHOOSH!
Ness let out a yelp as he raised his glove. The balled slammed into his mitt with more power than Ness had anticipated, bouncing out before he could grab it.
"I said medium!" Ness shouted.
Ninten raised an eyebrow.
"That was medium."
"Some of the pitchers on our varsity team can't throw that fast!" Ness shot back.
"Then you have a sucky varsity team."
A sucky varsity team that I couldn't get on… thanks, kid.
Ninten seemed to notice Ness' sullen response and adopted a concerned look.
"I… didn't mean that you're sucky for not making the team," he said softly.
"You kind of did, but it's okay," Ness replied with a sigh. "I know that I suck at baseball. That's why I always try to improve."
"Even if you didn't suck at baseball, you should still try to improve!" Ninten shouted jovially. "And thanks for forgiving me. I really didn't mean to insult you there."
Ness shrugged, walking over and picking up the ball.
"So, I guess I'll throw slow from now on," Ninten said, mostly to himself.
"Medium," Ness corrected. "You just threw fast there and now you need to throw medium."
Ninten rolled his eyes.
"Whatever."
Despite their banter, Ninten seemed to be enjoying himself, likely even more than Ness. He continued to scan the field around him with wide eyes, letting out an excited sigh.
This must mean a lot to him, Ness thought. I'm glad that I took this chance to reach out and approach him.
Ness threw the ball back at Ninten. The baseball flew to the side, but Ninten lunged and caught it.
Impressive… Ness thought. Why wasn't this kid on the team?
"So, how are you liking Onett?" Ness asked as he raised his glove as the baseball slammed into it, courtesy of Ninten's throw.
Right on target… Ness noted. Why can't I throw like that?
"It feels so… sophisticated," Ninten replied.
Ness scoffed.
"Onett? This is a small town, you know. You should see Fourside."
Ness threw the ball back. This time, he did a bit better and the ball flew straight at its target. Ninten caught it without seeming to notice, instead focusing on Ness' words.
"Every place in Eagleland seems sophisticated to me. I moved from a town called 'Podunk.' It literally means 'a place in the middle of nowhere.' We didn't have cars or fast food chains. Onett feels urban by comparison."
Ninten lobbed the ball back at Ness. The ball arced high, peaking halfway between them. It fell down and landed in Ness' waiting mitt.
"I guess that makes sense… and you moved here pretty recently, right?" Ness asked, chucking the ball at Ninten.
"23 days ago exactly," Ninten replied, stepping back and catching the ball off of a bounce. "My dad got a job in Twoson, but there weren't any available houses there. It was lucky that the Minches moved out… although maybe not for you."
The two boys continued to pass the ball back and forth as they talked.
"Pokey was annoying," Ness said, shaking his head in contempt. "I'm glad that he left."
"Ah, so I am saved from your mighty wrath by being better than the last neighbor. Good to know."
He's got to be teasing me, Ness thought, but Ninten's face betrayed no glint of humor. He can't be wholly serious, right?
At that moment, Ninten broke out into a grin.
"Yes, I'm playing with you," the Podunk boy explained. "It's hard to resist. You're so serious all of the time."
Ness rolled his eyes.
"How are you adjusting to school?" he asked, trying to change the subject.
Ninten bit his lip, looking nervous for the first time that Ness had seen.
"Not well, honestly. This may be hard to believe, but I was pretty popular in Podunk. It's surprisingly hard to adjust to a world where I'm just… normal."
"I hope that I do not offend by saying that I don't really feel sorry for you," Ness replied, catching the baseball in his mitt.
Ninten smirked.
"I would be a bit concerned if you did feel sorry for me. I'm just stating the facts as they are. I'm trying to build my reputation back up, but it's becoming harder for me to care."
"And why is that?" Ness asked, starting to feel his arm tire from repeatedly throwing the baseball.
"In school, we act dramatic and think that popularity determines everything. This may sound silly, but I kind of believed that for a while. I thought that more doors would open if people admired me. In reality, those doors open through our hard work."
"You sound like a teacher," Ness responded wryly.
Ninten frowned at Ness, furrowing his eyebrows in confusion.
"There's nothing wrong with sounding like a teacher, Ness. They have their own view on this world, just as we have ours. I think that both students and teachers could both learn from listening to each other."
Ness blinked, missing the baseball that whizzed past him. Ninten became popular without opposing teachers? What kind of upside-down town was Podunk?
"I guess…" Ness conceded, walking over and picking up the baseball. "It just feels wrong to admit that."
"Yeah, because teachers are the bad guys, right?" Ninten asked. "They're just monsters that determine our grades." He shook his head with an exasperated chuckle. "I swear, too many people see them in that light. It's somehow hard for us to accept that teachers are human beings."
Ness fidgeted with the baseball, trying to hide his discomfort. He had always thought of teachers in the way that Ninten described.
"Obviously, I don't agree with everything that they say," Ninten continued. "An example is when they claim that you can do anything if you try hard enough. That's a pack of lies. Sometimes, you try hard enough to shatter yourself and nothing works out."
Ninten sighed, looking off into the distance wistfully.
"What makes you say that?" Ness asked.
Ninten seemed to snap awake, his wide eyes indicating poorly concealed alarm.
"Uh… I saw it happen to someone. They tried really hard to get good grades, but it never happened."
His flushed face and uncomfortable body position gave away his obvious lie, but Ness didn't press it.
Everyone needs their personal space, and I don't want to be the one guy that acts all nosy.
Ness and Ninten continued passing the ball back and forth, remaining silent. Ness focused all of his energy on throwing and catching, while Ninten seemed to have his head stuck in the clouds. The Podunk boy once again looked around at the scenery around him, but his face flashed with weariness and sorrow rather than awe. Despite this, he still fared much better than Ness, somehow managing to catch balls that he didn't even seem to notice.
"Dude, you should try out for the team," Ness spoke up after a few minutes. "If you can bat half as well as you can throw and catch, you could probably make it onto the varsity lineup."
Ninten sighed, looking downward in thought.
"No thanks."
"Why not?"
Ninten bit his lip, his eyes flashing with longing.
"Don't pretend like you don't enjoy playing," Ness continued. "I saw how you acted at right when we got onto the field. You clearly missed this."
"I suppose that I can't get away from my past, can I?" Ninten whispered.
Ness said nothing.
"All right," Ninten conceded. "I'll explain."
Ness tuned in carefully to Ninten's words. For some reason, he didn't want to miss a single implication in the Podunk boy's explanation.
"Growing up, I always loved baseball," Ninten started, his eyes twinkling with nostalgia. "I was obsessed with it. Nothing could tear me away from the field, not if my life depended on it. And in the end… my life did depend on it."
Ness motioned for Ninten to continue, ravenous for more information.
"I developed asthma during my childhood," Ninten explained, gritting his teeth.
"So you had to quit?" Ness asked.
"No… not initially," Ninten replied. "You see, being ten at the time, I couldn't accept a world without baseball. It was my life, Ness. I wasn't going to let some stupid health condition stop me from doing what I loved."
Ness raised an eyebrow.
"But wouldn't that be dangerous?" he asked.
Ninten sighed and shook his head, a wry smile popping onto his face.
"You don't understand my ten year old mindset. You see, I was going to be the best. Quitting simply wasn't an option. You know that guy a while back who made it onto one of the best college basketball teams in the nation even though he had a limp? I think his name was Duster or something like that. Anyways, I was going to be like him. I was going to achieve my dream and nobody could stop me."
Ness nodded. That seemed like a good approach.
"But I was also terrified of my asthma. I tried to train myself to push through unpleasant… symptoms, but I could never shake the fear of a fatal attack. That made it so much harder for me to improve my game. I didn't just have to push my body through something that it didn't want to do; I also had to push my mind through something that it didn't want to do. And good luck convincing your own brain to ignore something like asthma."
"So… you quit then?" Ness asked.
"No," Ninten answered. "Remember, I was a ten year old superman. Quitting was akin to failure, and of course I couldn't let that happen. If I had decided to give up then, I would have viewed myself as a weakling. And that terrified me more than anything else." Ninten looked into Ness' eyes, smiling like a movie villain. "It scared me more than dying from asthma."
"What did you do, then?" Ness asked, unable to resist. He had to know more about this kid's past, even if each word that Ninten spoke brought another pang of sympathetic pain.
"Like I said, I tried to power through. It worked for a while. I could make it through a practice and come home exhausted, relieved to be done for the day. But the next day, my mind wouldn't let it go. I would worry excessively about my next lesson and how much it would hurt me. School became seven hours a day to mentally prepare for my next practice. Sometimes, I would feel so terrified and exhausted that I would do anything to avoid practice. I would have just stayed home if my parents allowed it, but they pushed me to attend every practice."
"You had asthma, though!" Ness exclaimed. "Couldn't they see that they were putting you at risk?"
"Ah, but I never told them that my asthma was a problem. If I had, then they would have forced me to quit. And like I said before, I couldn't do that. So I pretended to be sick. I would stick a finger down my throat and vomit up my lunch, after which my parents would of course allow me to skip practice for the day. At first, this only happened about once a month. By the end, it was about twice a week."
"Twice a week?" Ness asked, his eyes widening in disbelief. "How could you take that? Doesn't barfing feel awful?"
Ninten chuckled.
"Yes, it did feel horrible. But the relief of not having to go to practice was so sweet that I didn't care. The nasty feeling that lined my stomach whenever I hurled wasn't the worst part, not by far."
Ninten paused, taking a deep, shaky breath.
"The worst part was how much I hated myself for skipping practice. I never felt so weak and helpless as I did during those days, lying in my bed crying tears of bittersweet joy. I felt so relieved that I didn't have to push through another day, but I also felt so sad that I wasn't strong enough to overcome my asthma."
"You shouldn't have felt bad," Ness said. "After all, with your disadvantage and all…"
"Yes," Ninten replied, "That's what everyone else said, but I never listened to them. After all, everyone also said to not let others prevent you from achieving your dream, so I decided to ignore their pitying gazes. I forced myself to be strong and push through the next practices. But I always lapsed back into anxiety and nausea. I would always have to stop and take a few practices off while I beat myself up for being too weak. And every time that I did, it became a little harder to get back up. Eventually, my brain associated nausea with baseball and I would feel sick even thinking about it."
"And you didn't quit?" Ness asked.
Ninten smirked.
"Even after all of that, I didn't see quitting as a legitimate option. I always promised myself that next time, I would stop being weak and overcome my asthma. But it never happened. As I said before, it only got worse over the years. I could feel my dream crumbling apart each time I made myself sick, but I always dashed to sew it back together… yet I could never quite fit all of the pieces back together perfectly. Every time that I lapsed, the dream of becoming the best lost some of its splendor. Eventually, I knew that I could never be the professional baseball player that I wanted to be, but I still tried to hang on because I was so scared of quitting."
Wow, Ness thought.
"Five years," Ninten whispered, bringing his hands up to his heart and shutting his eyes painfully. "Five long years of juggling that one issue in my head. Five long years of beating myself up because I wasn't good enough."
Ninten opened his eyes. They revealed a haunted pain that horrified Ness.
"How did you eventually end up quitting?" Ness asked hesitantly, not wanting to push Ninten further but desperately wanting to know.
"I got a chance to talk to a professional baseball player," Ninten answered. "I told him everything that I told you, and asked him how he kept going. He answered: 'Baseball isn't for everyone; perhaps you should chase another dream. After all, there's no point in doing something that you don't enjoy.' Those words shocked me, Ness. A professional baseball player telling me that it's okay to quit? It seemed like madness… until I thought about the logic in his words. After all, why should I do something that scares me? It made sense… but I still found it difficult to let go. Eventually, I decided to quit because I felt tired, tired of making myself sick when I needed a respite from the pain, tired of seeing my coach's eye twitch in disapproval whenever I came trudging back to practice, tired of using my entire school day to contemplate whether or not I could take the fear and pain one more time."
"Wow," Ness replied. "How… did it feel to quit, after all of those years of playing?"
Ninten chuckled wryly.
"It felt like I had lost a part of myself. I always loved baseball, and now I had to come to terms with the fact that I would never play competitively again. After quitting that sport, my sense of purpose disappeared. I couldn't motivate myself to do much of anything. The best that I could do was keep my straight As the next semester."
Ness remained silent, not knowing what to say. He never knew what to say in situations like this.
And geez, this kid is hard on himself. "Only" getting straight As? I would love to earn his grades.
"And yet I felt the best that I ever have in my life," Ninten continued.
"W-What?" Ness asked.
Ninten sighed wearily, shaking his head.
"I know. It doesn't make sense, right? I was reduced to a shell of my former self, and I felt happy about it? Well, this is going to sound pretty wimpy, but the relief of not having to put myself through baseball ever again was the best feeling that I've ever experienced. For the first time in five years, I felt like I could truly kick back and relax without a care in the world. The joy of lifting school's mental weight off of my shoulders when summer started was nothing compared to what I felt then."
Ness blinked. He tried to imagine himself in Ninten's situation. What would it be like to never feel like you could unwind because the nauseating thought of baseball always loomed in the back of your mind? What would Ness have done?
He couldn't come up with an answer for either question.
"Why didn't you quit earlier?" Ness asked softly. "If baseball really was painful for you, shouldn't you have thrown in the towel years before when you did?"
Ninten flashed a smirk, his charcoal eyes blazing with wry humor.
"I didn't quit earlier because of what those teachers said," he answered bitterly. "They said that you can accomplish anything if you try hard enough. Most adults used that phrase quite often, including my parents. I believed that lie, Ness. I believed that I could truly become a professional baseball player if I put in enough effort. That meant that I failed because I wasn't trying hard enough. Obviously, if everyone has the capability to succeed at whatever they do, then it's their fault when they fail."
Ness looked for words to say but found none. So he just stared at Ninten, watching the Podunk boy inhale and exhale slowly.
"That's the lie that many adults try to spread," Ninten continued, gritting his teeth as if trying to keep pain from escaping his mouth. "Just because they themselves succeeded, they assume that everyone can achieve anything that they want. I tried so hard… harder, even, than I probably should have, and what did it get me? A bucket full of vomit and congested air passageways, that's what! I took as much pain as I could for five years straight, but my problems only worsened. The more times I attempted, the more pitiful my outcome became. You can try as hard as you want, but you might never achieve your goal. Because for every kid like Duster who defies all odds and overcomes their circumstances, there are a hundred people like me. That's the truth that nobody wants to hear."
Ness blinked. He hadn't expected such an invective stream of words from the Podunk boy.
"And people say that it's our fault!" Ninten continued. "They say that since Duster could make his dream happen, we all have the capability to turn our dreams into reality. But we don't. I'm not saying that hard work isn't important; in fact, I believe that 'hard-working' it is the single best quality a person can have. But sometimes… things just don't work out, no matter how effort you put in. There doesn't always have to be a reason for that failure. Some things just aren't meant to be. It's sometimes better to find alternate paths than to struggle in vain by trying to clear the roadblocks around the path that you wanted to take."
Ninten's words made Ness feel uncomfortable. Ness had always assumed in the back of his mind that he could become whatever he wanted, but Ninten's words made sense. What would he do if he tried his hardest to follow his dreams and nothing worked out?
"And my situation is one of the best I've ever encountered," Ninten said, "If only because I could leave baseball behind. Imagine someone who feels the same anxiety and fear, but they have an abusive parent rather than an abusive sport. Good luck escaping from that one."
Ness shivered. He didn't want to think about that…
"Or someone who lives in a dangerous part of town. You know how I said that the relief that I felt after quitting baseball was better than anything else that I've ever felt? People who live in the poorer parts of town will never feel that relief because they're too worried about safety or jobs or whatever. And if they don't, maybe they see people around them spiral into despair. Maybe their siblings and their parents and their friends resort to drugs and end up dead on the side of the road. How do you deal with that? How can you prop yourself up and keep trudging on? Maybe you can do it once, twice, ten times if you could see light at the end of the tunnel. But could you do it knowing that there might be a hundred more tragedies around the corner?"
At this point, Ninten's eyes blazed with fury. Ness couldn't help but shrink back.
"Those people will fail just like I did. Life will become too painful for them, and they won't be able to escape like I did. So they just… lose. Game over. And then we blame them! We say that everyone had a chance, that they only lost because they didn't work hard enough. That's why we don't have perfect class fluidity, Ness! Sometimes, people can't overcome their circumstances. Or if they can, it costs too much. I sometimes imagine who I would be today if I kept pushing myself through baseball. I would be miserable! Someone who pushes through a painful life day after day would feel the same misery. These people have no good options, and nobody possesses the empathy to recognize that!"
Ninten took a deep breath, his entire body twitching with anger.
"I'm sorry, Ness," Ninten whispered. "That was… quite uncalled for. I shouldn't have shouted all of my opinions at you."
He turned away, exhaling slowly.
Ness shook his head, adopting an amiable smile.
"Ninten, holding your anger in only causes it to ferment. Don't apologize for letting your emotions out. Don't you feel better now that you did?"
"Yeah…" Ninten whispered, turning back to face Ness with wide eyes. "This feeling… it's another kind of relief. I never knew that verbalizing my thoughts out could feel this good…" In the blink of an eye, he put on a characteristic smirk. "Well then, thanks for listening to me ramble. It really helps."
"Well, you gave me plenty to think about," Ness replied. "So I gained something as well. It's good to get other people's opinions, especially ones as… unorthodox as yours. I don't know if I agree with you, but your story definitely makes me understand people like you better."
Ninten smiled, leaving all traces of wry humor out. In that moment, Ness saw a childlike playfulness in Ninten, showing what he must have been like before baseball tore his dreams apart.
"I wouldn't want you to instantly agree with me!" Ninten exclaimed. Ness swore that Ninten's voice jumped up an octave. "And I feel honored that you're willing to think about my arguments. As you pointed out, my pessimistic views don't align with those of most other people."
"No problem," Ness replied. "So, should we practice some more throwing and catching?"
Ninten's face lit up.
"I would love to! For some reason, my nausea doesn't go off when I practice with you."
"Maybe eventually, your problems with baseball will go away…?" Ness asked.
Ninten shook his head.
"Nah. My asthma will always terrify me if I ever try to play seriously. But maybe… maybe I can play baseball casually. That way, I would at least be able to pick up a shattered piece of my dream. At this point, that's all that I can really hope for."
"Something about that still feels so sad," Ness replied. "That the only goal that you have left is to play causally."
Ninten laughed.
"Isn't it? But it's all that I can achieve, and it's all that I want. I've accepted my situation, so now I should try to make the best of it. I can do no more than that."
Even though Ninten knew that he could never do what he truly wanted, he looked happy with his lot in life. His eyes shone with contentment and his mouth locked into a natural smile. He let out yet another sigh as he stretched his arms to the sky, unable to wipe the grin from his face. He looked at Ness and transmitted a serene joy that could put even a hardened criminal at ease. Ninten had been broken, shattered, scarred… and yet he could still find enjoyment in his life.
Perhaps that was enough.