AN: This is another fanfic for Bleach I made in January but never got to finish and upload until now. I'm pretty sure this is the shortest fanfic for Bleach I have done so far. Once again, I made a Bleach fanfic that has an animal title, which I'm pretty sure I first started because because I noticed the amount of characters have names pertaining to animals and vermin in Kubo's manga, usually due to symbolism.

Author: Lumiere de Venise

Title: The Ignorant Bear and the Irked Rabbit

Fandom: Bleach

Ship: Ironically, this fanfic was supposed to teasingly end in a lime moment, but it became more of a comrade respect/mother and son fanfic, so I can't really say this is a KenUno (KenpachixUnohana) fanfic. I guess you could take it as one, though, if you want?

Rating: T (This includes multiple instances of profanity from Kenpachi).

Summary: In which Ken-chan makes Unohana snap, because as we all know, Ken-chan loves fighting and don't need no man (Or woman, in this case) to babysit him. (Kinda KenUno? Short. Kinda funny. OBVIOUSLY, takes place before you know what happens in the manga to Unohana.) Uh...Hanataro is there for the beginning, and Yachiru is mentioned.

Word Count: 884 words/1.6 pages long.

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach- if I did, I would've made sure that the anime came back, after all.

"K-Kenpachi-taichou, y-y-you, um...you must take c-care of yourself m-m...more."

The man in question sighed in annoyance as he looked at the bandages wrapped around his tanned arm. Once again, he was stuck in the pointless medical department, because God forbid he dare to have fun and allow himself to get his arm covered in blood.

A chainsaw wielding hollow wasn't anything he couldn't handle if he was serious, even if he was blind and deaf, so why did the useless fourth squad always tend to his injuries? He didn't even get to show off the tiniest of newly made battle scars, due to the medical squad's pestering!

Speaking of pests, Hanataro was really annoying Zaraki- seriously, why is he trembling over giving someone medical treatment?

Yes, Kenpachi may have threatened to kill him in the past, but only as a joke, to convince the young soul reaper to get stronger and join a more manly squad! Nothing malicious came out of it ...Well, except for the few times- okay, the many times- his men bullied the kid for having such a dainty build and job position. Kenpachi didn't engage in it, though, so the Yamada kid really couldn't be so wimpish about just talking to the brute.

Before the barbarous male could question the younger male on his aghast and unnecessary performance, however, another captain stopped the fourth squad member.

"That's enough bandages for now, Hantaro," the fourth squad leader said in her usual sweet tone. She walked up to the two with a smile, and waved to Hanatarou as the timid boy began to quickly walk out. "You're improving everyday, seventh seat!"

Oh- that's right. Unohana was the reason he was in there. Because Unohana doesn't understand that he's a strong, independent man who don't need no man. Or woman, in this case.

"Unohana, I don't understand why I have to get these fucking bandages. I'm in no way a pathetic punk," Kenpachi bluntly complained before he gave out a growl. The woman in question wasn't fazed at his swearing or lack of etiquette, but did made sure to comment on it.

"Your swearing is quite unnecessary," the ebony haired woman responded as she looked over his body for any more injuries, "and for your question, it's because even a man as powerful as you can succumb to wounds."

The captain of squad eleven responded with a scoff. That Ichigo bastard of a kid was able to stab him like no man has ever done before, and Unohana herself, of all people, should know how hard and rare that is. He didn't need a lecture.

The soft spoken woman sighed at the other captain's lack of care, but continued her lecture. "You must be careful, Kenpachi-taichou, as you can't defeat every enemy. Speaking of enemies, you have no need to foolish run around in the living world, for you're far too high leveled and dangerously strong to casually roam around those are-"

"I wanted some fun, and I decided that messing with the bastard hollows in the human realm would be more interesting than fighting some pathetic weak soul reaper."

For a few seconds, Retsu looked at him, her face exhausted. After a pregnant pause, she responded with a noticeably more pestered tone, "Kenpachi-taichou, I understand you get stimulated by sparring, but you are too careless in-"

Kenpachi sneered, ripped apart the bandages off his arm, and got off the hospital bed he was uncomfortably seated on. Lectures like these are for weaklings, not strong captains. He promptly got up and began to walk towards the entrance, something that began to erase the last of the other squad leader's patience.

"Kenpachi," the medical captain called out to the more brute captain, with clear tones of half-suppressed vexation, "please do not leave. This conversation hasn't ended yet."

The eye-patch wielder shouted back, "I'm not a fucking little weakling, Unohana. A scratch is nothing to me! I'll be fine, so don't worry. Squad four is practically useless to me, and you of all people should know tha-"

Out of nowhere, a large sense of reiatsu exploded from Retsu. Zaraki turned around, a tad surprised, but he didn't show it- in fact, he showed her a grin.

"Zaraki Kenpachi….Did you forget who you're talking to?"

The usually calmed woman had expressed a glare that would've made even the stronger lieutenants fall to their knees and instantly scream out apologies. Her out of the blue change of tone contributed to that. For the 11th division commander, however, it triggered something else in him...

"I guess I have, Yachiru, my bad…"

His preeminent respect for the short but powerful woman. He didn't name Yachiru after the former leader of his squad for no reason.

Nevertheless, the gigantic male went to sit back down on the hospital bed, where his arm got swathed with bandages once more, and gave his full attention to the lovely lady who could put him in his place. Maybe he did have a little bit of fear in her.

Good thing he named Yachiru after the woman- he'll be sure to continue to raise the girl into someone that could never fear anyone, no matter how small a rabbit she is and how large a bear the other person, including himself, could be.

[End.]

Ending AN: Kenpachi is BOSS. I think I may of made him swear a little too much (He's not Hidan for God sakes), but it oddly fits. I need to make another fanfic on my man, soon... Hope you enjoyed.