Every Night I Sleep
When I sleep you are always with me. When I dream you are always there. When the ocean laps into the sand upon these shores you never depart. That's when I know you can't leave me.
May I ever call you Daniel?
I don't have to but I know that you are always here in my bed.
When I sleep you never stop haunting me, never stop breathing on my cheek, never stop loving who I am, and why?
Because I am the reason you continue, I suppose.
But when your ghostly hand caresses my ear I can never be distracted from you, Captain.
I lay here while your phantom comforts and adores me. I won't make believe that you aren't paying attention to me.
I have your home to take care of, but while I do?
You drift into my consciousness as I sleep.
And I rarely dream, how can I?
Because I know you will always be there behind me.
There is nothing to stop you, there is nothing in the night air, the storms you possess, the gulls that cry out, the aged times beckoning to me in your embrace.
As I lie here? So do you alongside me… and I won't refuse.
You hold me so steadily, so strongly and it lends to my breath all these years.
Tomorrow I know I will be awakened by Martha cooking breakfast, by my children's gleeful romps to enlighten my day. By the sea that invited me to this home all along.
But my work and typewritten stories will always be interrupted as I sit in my chair and pause,
"He held me last night. He kept me safe. He has clutched my hand and has lain with me."
My inhale of breath stops me and I say, "The day must go on… but I look forward to the next night… with him."