A/N: THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT!!!! First of all... This actually spawned from an MSN convo with my friend who shall be credited as KissexY. It is written in semi-script format to make it easier to edit and so actions are shown within hyphens (i.e. -smirk-)
Alright so... Some things you need to understand before reading this:
Lynn is a pureblood Slytherin that is in love with Draco, and WAS dating George but is NOW dating Ron.
Krystal is a pureblood Ravenclaw who is in an on/off relationship with Fred, whom she loves and who loves her. She and Draco have been best friends since age 9.
Alex Grappa and 'That girl Anna' are both made up characters, Ravenclaws.
This is set in a room where two people are locked to fight over something. It was enchanted by Krystal and is controlled by Krystal and Lynn.
The Room #1: Get You Off
Draco says: who's here?
George says: erm... pie
Draco says: weaselboy 3?
George says: maybe
Draco says: oi! stuck in the room with george weasley. my FAVOURITE past time
George says: and I'm enjoying this thoroughly
Draco says: where did she GET this room? she really is amazing
George says: who, Lynn?
Draco says: yeah, and I'VE still got a chance with her -smirk-
George says: whatever. she didn't get this room herself you know. she stole harry's idea from his DA classes
Draco says: this is the room of requirement?
George says: yeah, only its been Lynnafied
Draco says: but u cant lock the room of requirement
George says: well she somehow can
Draco says: and u cant LYNNAFIE anything
George says: then you seem to know nothing about her
Draco says: the magic is too advanced
George says: ... well then wtf room IS this
Draco says: I dont KNOW! thats why its amazing, loser. why the FUCK are we in here?
George says: well who is so conceited that she likes watching people fight over her while trapped in a tiny area?
Draco says: yeah... but usually only couples are in this room
George says: ew. im not your couple
Draco says: and im NOT getting friendly with a weasley blood traitor
George says: ok enough with that bull shit
Draco says: what bull shit? cant knock it if its true
George says:
Draco says: ron admits it. BILL admits it
George says: well ron's a git. hes fucking DATING her
Draco says: and yes ron is a git, but then again...
HAHA your brother stole your girlfriend! your LITTLE brother
George says: yeah and he's shagging the hell out of her according to him and thanks for rubbing that in my face
Draco says: meh, I do what I can
George says:-rolls eyes- so wtf do we have to do to get out of this bloody room?
Draco says: I dunno... but I like laughing at you
George says: shut up
Draco says: your LITTLE brother!!!!!!!!!!!!! your LITTLE brother stole your GIRLFRIEND and is FUCKING dating her!!!!!!!
George says: OK I HEARD THAT THE FIRST DOZEN TIMES FROM HIM, OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Draco says: he rubs it in your face too? hahahahaha
George says: THOSE EXACT WORDS BUT IN FIRST PERSON
Draco says: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
George says: why the fuck am I telling YOU this?
Draco says: cause there's nobody else around
George says: how utterly pathetic
Draco says: I know you are, but you really shouldn't talk to yourself. it isn't healthy, you see
George says: oh im honoured, a sexgod Slytherin who gives out crap romance lessons NOTICED me TALKING TO MYSELF. Merlin forbid he should INTERACT with such lowness
Draco says: I'm just glad you noticed the SEXGOD part of that
George says: oh, I didn't. believe me. Lynn did, and told me all about it. isn't that nice of her?
Draco says: yeah, it is
George says: I should really shut up now
Draco says: yeah, ur using up all the air
George says: -inhales deeper- AAH STEAL THE AIR
Draco says: u do that too much and ur gonna die
Draco says: wait... keep doing that
George says: oh I'm sure I'll die -does it again-
Draco says: keep going
George says: why?
Draco says: cause you'll die
George says: ... most definitely. -does it again anyway to piss u off-
Draco says: -is not pissed off anymore- death wish much?
George says: no. I'm not playing that with you. God
Draco says: I wasn't suggesting it
George says: well, either way, no
Draco says: oh you DONT want to die? then stop breathing up all the air
George says: well not on her behalf no
Draco says: good to know. I'll be sure to tell her you don't want her to kill you
George says: well I don't
George says: besides what is with you and her?
Draco says: what d'you mean?
George says: this some sort of really whacked love/hate relationship or something?
Draco says: yes to the love... I'm giving her SPACE. it's something people do for people they love. and she told me to WAIT for her, which means she'll come around
George says: space? bloody send her to the moon then, if u wanna give her space. It'd give us all our hearing back! I cant stand her yelling anymore.
Draco says: tell her that yourself
George says: oh, I would and I tried... and I couldn't see through my left eye for a week
Draco says: HAHAHAHA you got beaten up by a GIRL
George says: yes but a pretty and strong one at that
Draco says: the SAME girl that your LITTLE brother stole and is FUCKING dating!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
George says: ... whoa that IS pathetic..
Draco says: acceptance is the first step to recovery
George says: but she doesn't love him. she said so herself
Draco says: so? the faster she comes back to me the better. I just want that weasel to get his heart broken
George says: -rolls eyes- fred was right about you Slytherins
Draco says: you're realizing this NOW?
George says: well yeah, now that I'm no longer with Lynn. I thought she was some sort of exception. I know now she merely emphasizes what Fred said about 'untrustworthy'.
Draco says: there ARE no exceptions. not when it comes to Gryffindors anyway
George says: thank you so much I feel so much better. .
Draco says: glad I could help
George says: speaking of help, where DID u get that sudden romantic part of u shit? it really scared me
Draco says: I dunno... Lynn inspired it
George says: pppft
Draco says: remember, im not a weasel
George says: o haha! Lynn inspired you what a joke. all she ever inspires in me is to wish I could punch her
Draco says: then why did you go OUT with her?
George says: well, NOW that is. before it was shag
Draco says: oh. so it was PHYSICAL
George says: er... yeah. she's bloody hot
Draco says: THATS why you were too pathetic to say those three little words
George says: -.-
Draco says: they're easy enough to say if you don't MEAN them too. I guess that just makes you pathetic
George says: and how do we know YOU mean them? I mean, you're a SLYTHERIN
Draco says: because she's LYNN
George says: so?
Draco says: I cant lie to another Slytherin, it's like kicking your own family. ULTIMATE betrayal.
George says: don't tell me you can actually see beyond the silhouette to want to date her personality too?
Draco says: uh... yeah, I can. because I, unlike YOU, am not pathetic
George says: surprising
Draco says: shes only like that to GRYFFINDORS
George says: why?
Draco says: because we're polar opposites
George says: then why date us?
Draco says: I wouldn't know... never have. my guess is a physical relationship. either that or... she likes watching u squirm. GOD thats attractive
George says: -raises eyebrow- let me guess. you could get off by just thinking of her hatred to us and her pleasure to watching us suffer? or her photo?
Draco says: nope. takes more than that
George says: im not sure I follow you
Draco says: YOU could get off on that I'm sure
George says: many times
Draco says: but... Gryffindors are easy. Slytherins... not so much
George says: well that I've noticed
Draco says:
then why ask? or are you trying to find out how to get me off?
George says: god no. I'm just trying to figure out what she'd see in you
Draco says: maybe she likes the chase
George says: chase?
Draco says: uh huh. maybe she doesnt like EASY boys
George says: ... hm.
Draco says: otherwise known as PUSSYs or GAYs. all of which describe you
George says: ok thats enough, fuckhead.
Draco says: no, please dont
George says: you think that Lynn ever thought about the 'you don't know where that's been' expression when with you? i.e. PANSY?
Draco says: oh it never was. pansy just likes to give the IMPRESSION, cause she isn't getting any
George says: I wouldn't doubt that
Draco says: but then... she doesn't know how easy Gryffindors are. a picture of PANSY is probably enough to get potter off. he's a pansy. but assuming on how fast Lynn gave up on you... you're probably EASIER that potter
George says: I take great offense to that
Draco says: a picture of pansy CLOTHED would get YOU off
George says: ok no. it could make me vomit. but a picture of Lynn on the other hand... -trails off recalling 'the days'-
Draco says: yes I see. but LYNN must be your ultimate. any hotter and you'd explode
George says: if any hotter existed I might
Draco says: you couldn't handle anything hotter. you're TOO easy
George says: no I'm not
Draco says: you wouldn't even make it back to your room WITH the picture
George says: you know what? no. I bet you... that I could
Draco says: -rolls eyes- if potter is a pansy, YOU are like... a daffodil
George says: I bet you that not only could I make it back with Lynn but I can handle her better than u
Draco says: oh wow. forgetting the SEXGOD thing?
George says: no. I still have that in mind
Draco says: ew. I don't wanna know why
George says: nothing about you at all
Draco says: sure -rolls eyes- because the term SEXGOD has been used about anyone else... how many times today? none
George says: it'll be me next time. so is the bet on or r u too pussy?
Draco says: I only make bets that are a CHALLENGE
George says: it will be a challenge for you... because I'll think of something
Draco says:
right. like you could. what are you gonna do? invite Angelina and Alicia over for an orgy?
George says: ... that would be awesome
Draco says: I don't think Lynn is into girls
George says: I know... I'm just saying it would be awesome
Draco says: until they all found out what was going on. you can barely handle LYNNs anger, let alone THREE women looking for a shag
George says: ok stop killing my fantasy... and who's to say you could handle Lynn eith- ok no not her but her anger?
Draco says: I have. and either way... if I'M there its great sex
George says: right
Draco says: I've handled three women in a rage so well there WAS an orgy. fun fun FUN. your brain would explode
George says: who? when?
Draco says: cho chang, er... alex grappa, and that girl anna, last year after the yule ball
George says: ... .
Draco says: stole them ALL right out from under cedric and michael's noses
George says: -trying his hardest to hide his jealousy- you sure they were all that willing?
Draco says: not at first, but I have my ways. I... PERSUADED them
George says: you raped them more like
Draco says: sure... THAT'S why they had fun
George says: I don't believe you
Draco says: go ask them then. I tell you... Ravenclaw? EXCELLENT
George says: pft.
Draco says: Fred would know... not that he'd be all that willing to talk about... HER... at the moment
George says: yeah whatever...then have you ever been invited to a girls' sleepover then? and NO I don't mean in the gay way. I mean in the walk-in-accidentally-and-asked-to-stay-bc-they-like-you way
Draco says: actually... there was that one time...
George says: yeah when? and who?
Draco says: it was two summers ago. I was returning Krystal's transfiguration book and Lynn was there too
George says: ... did you take pictures? -smirk-
Draco says: would it be a sleepover without pictures?
George says: if its the pictures I like then you bloody better show me them
Draco says: well you see, the pictures are with Lynn
George says: ... yeah so? even better -is totally missing the point-
Draco says:
LYNN I NEED THE GOD DAMN PICTURES
Lynn's Voice says: you'd better be happy that I'm enjoying this enough to give you them -they appear-
Draco says: here you go. GOD Lynn was cute then
George says: -nosebleed-
Draco says: TOLD you I'm a sexgod
George says: you have no bloddy CLUE how much I HATE you now
Draco says: meh. sticks and stones. either way you swing it, you're still a weasel
George says: fuck off
Draco says: I'd rather not. might get YOU off
George says: can I keep these?
Draco says: you'd have to ask Lynn
Lynn's Voice says: no fucking way. give them back to draco. he was lucky enough to get copies.
Draco says: HA
George says: awww... -reluctantly hands them back and wipes his bloody nose- wish I had a photographic memory
Draco says: I don't. you'd be getting off all over the place. it would mess up the carpeting
George says: so? I'd at least have some fun defacing the property
Draco says: not 'till you got arrested. then they'd give you some memories you'd NEVER forget
George says: true. thanks for killing my fantasy again
Draco says: I told you. I do what I can
George says: Lynn, can I kill him?
Lynn's Voice says: yeah sure. right after you commit suicide.
George says: thanks. so this is the feeling of being loved? great
Draco says: well u know, even though I think you SHOULD commit suicide, it'd be far too messy. there would be blood, EVERYWHERE. that's a huge cleaning bill... I don't think your family could afford it.
George says: ... for my next birthday, I'm gonna get a really great lethal weapon and kill you...then I'll blame it on Fred
Draco says: assuming you could afford it
George says: -is like a nano-inch away from entirely snapping and strangling Draco-
Draco says: I'm sure Fred would be too busy. u know... ;')
George says: oh really? -through gritted teeth-
Draco says: yeah... he IS getting more than you. like they say, HATE leads to GREAT sex
George says: -lunges at draco with all intentions of a violent murder-
Draco says: and lots of people hate him... especially his EX... Krystal
George says: -frozen in mid air-
Draco says: actually... stay on THAT side of the room
Lynn's Voice says: ah, ah, ah. no fighting boys.
Draco says: I'm afraid of how much you hate me. might get you off
George says: -gets catapulted to the wall of the other side of the room- LYNN GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE
Lynn's Voice says: no fucking way. this is GOLDEN
Draco says: I'd appreciate you NOT saying that word, George. you know, 'fuck'. you're scaring me
George says: YOU'RE DISTURBING ME
Draco says: I didn't know you were so easy that getting thrown against the wall would get you off... but then considering who the cause is...
George says: ... and just what is THAT supossed to mean? -fuming-
Draco says: well... you got thrown against the wall because you hate me so much you attacked me. ATTACKED me. -smirk-
George says: oh god.
Draco says: trying to get me on the ground eh? stay on your side
George says: the second I get my wand, your a dead man
Draco says: you mean if the sight of straight wood doesn't get you off first
George says: OK ENOUGH WITH THE LAME GETTING OFF THING
Draco says: you know it's true
George says: god no
Draco says: denial is extremely common
George says: so idiocy from you...
Draco says: oh no I'll admit I'm being an idiot when I am. But you have to admit everything I'm saying makes sense somewhere deep inside your mind where weasels run around free. And with every word I'm saying--
George says: -turns and starts banging head asainst wall mutering how badly hes gona kill Draco and Lynn-
Draco says: --something inside of you is hating me more, building up the passion that gets you off
George says:
LYNN I WANT TO GET OUT RIGHT BLOODY NOW
Draco says: to get out you must choose between the red pill and the blue pill
George says: wtf
Draco says: choose correctly and you will get out of here, but choose incorrectly and you'll be stuck in here. but either way, you'll find out what it means to get off, because I'll be right with you
George says: ew.
Draco says: the saying is backwards. it's not 'the best FOR a malfoy'. it's 'the best IS a malfoy'. you know I'm right, but please don't attack me again. I like the top
Lynn's Voice says: my god, Draco. if I wasn't enjoying laughing at weaselboy 3, I'd let you out and shag you for those delicious words
Draco says: thank you, Lynn
Lynn's Voice says: that wasn't something for me to be thanked for I swear that's something I just admitted needing this bloody moment.
George says: -continues head/wall-
Draco says: keep doing that. eventually your thick skull will break the walls and we will be free. but you'll never get off again, cause you'll be dead
George says: -wants to kill u so badly-
Draco says: see? she NEEDS me -smirk- sexgod. told you so
George says: I'm gonna kill you, you bloody root of my hatred. I'm gonna Avada Kedavra you the moment a wand touched my hand
Draco says: yes, but I already explained the notion of straight stiff wood. admit it. it turns you on.
George says: no, you retarted son of a bitch
Draco says: you know I'm right in that same little part of your brain where the weasels run free
George says: ... -bursts out in manial laughter-
Draco says: what the fu- I mean hell? oh wow. weasels running free gets you off
George says: -pounding on floor unable to breath in the slightest-
Draco says: whats so funny?
Lynn's Voice says: that so killed my fun
Krystal's Voice says: me too
Lynn's Voice says: STOP LAUGHING YOU MOTHERFUCK
George says: -gasping for air-
Draco says: is laughter your way of getting off? cause that's not creepy in the least. I can imagine you shagging somebody, laughing your head off. How do you snog?
George says: -said between bursts of maniacal laughter- weasels... running free... that's so bloody stupid... and yet hysterically funny -laughter increaces-
Lynn's Voice says: im so not following.
Draco says: me neither... apparently he WANTS to be imprisoned?
Lynn's Voice says: yeah... George you want a straight jacket? I have about 5 in my closet
Draco says: does he laugh when you shag him Lynn?
Lynn's Voice says: don't remind my of my pathetic days with him. please
Draco says: alright. he isn't, after all, a sexgod.
George says: -laughter descends slightly- straight jacket...
Krystal's Voice says: nope, apparently his brother got it all
Lynn's Voice says: now's not the time K- wait what? omg!!
Krystal's Voice says: you know, if Fred was shagging girls as George, it'd give him a good name. George just made his name terrible
Lynn's Voice says: so true... makes me almost wish I shagged Fred instead...
Draco says: see? Gryffindors are easy
George says: -has stopped laughing completely now-
Krystal's Voice says: oh no. Fred isn't like all Gryffindors. Oh! And thanks for the complement, Draco!
Draco says: what complement?
Krystal's Voice says: "Ravenclaw? excellent"
Lynn's Voice says: ... -is getting the wrong message from this- anyways... let the guys continue the fight. we're not supposed to interfere much
Krystal's Voice says: yeah okay. have fun being stuck in the room! and don't try Apparating. last one who did.. not pretty
Draco says: so anyway
George says: ...
Draco says: IS laughing your way of getting off?
George says: no
Draco says: cause that's just pathetic
George says: it would be
Draco says: -is ignoring him- oh THATS why you pull pranks! it makes you LAUGH! i get it now
George says: oh my lord
Draco says: you know what makes ME laugh?
George says: -goes back to wall only to find its make out of thorns- stupid Lynn...
Draco says: your LITTLE brother stole your GIRLFRIEND and is FUCKING dating her!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! dont think I forgot
George says: great thank you
Draco says: yep. bet that gets you off. your brother shagging your ex-girlfriend. your INCREDIBLY HOT ex-girlfriend.
George says: no...
Draco says: and she chose HIM over YOU
George says: by Merlin, your actually right... what the fuck did I bloody DO?! argh.. -wants Lynn back-
Draco says: I told you I'm right... and u still haven't chosen. Blue or Red? either way, you're not getting out of here and the passion that gets you off will build in your hate for me
George says: what's with the blue or red shit are you on drugs?
Draco says: no... it's just all they gave us
George says: yeah. you are
Draco says: check your pocket
George says: -checks- wtf?...
Draco says: told u so
George says: what the bloody fuck's this for?
Draco says: I TOLD you! either way you're not getting out of here, and the passion that gets you off will build in your hate for me
George says: how do YOU seem to know that we're getting out?
Draco says: there's a note in my pocket
George says: that says?
Draco says:
YOU CAN CHOOSE BLUE OR RED
ONE WILL GET YOU OUT
THE OTHER WON'T
BUT EITHER WAY
YOU'RE NOT GETTING OUT
AND THE PASSION THAT GETS YOU OFF WILL BUILD IN YOUR HATE FOR DRACO
AND YOU'LL BE TOGETHER
CAUSE WHEREVER YOU GO
HE'S GOING WITH YOU
George says: ... I bet Krystal wrote that.
Draco says:
ALL MY HATE
LYNN AND KRYSTAL
George says: ok so they both did. so which whore thought of the idea? I'll kill her.
Lynn's Voice says: NOTTAWHORE
Krystal's Voice says: IM NOT A WHORE
George says: forget I ever said that
-thorn walls grow closer to George-
Draco says: -laughing maniacally- whoever DID think of it, thanks for continuing to notice that I'm a sexgod
-balloon filled with flour, water and eggs hits draco's face and explodes-
Draco says: what was THAT for?
Lynn's Voice says: for fun.
Draco says: oh. fair enough. so do we HAVE to take the pills?
Krystal's Voice says: YES FUCKWIT
Draco says: oh
George says: and if we don't?
Draco says: is that how we get out?
Lynn's Voice says: have fun
Krystal's Voice says: YES THATS HOW YOU GET 'OUT' FUCKWIT
Lynn's Voice says: -sniggers at private joke-
Draco says: oh joy
George says: ... ok this isn't fair...
Draco says: I think we have to take the same one. which one, red or blue? cause either way were not getting out of here
George says: but I don't like the sound of what they might do
Draco says: meh. whatever
George says: so which one.. hmmm
Draco says: let's pick blue... just for giggles
George says: uh... fine but if something fucked up happens I'm gonna kill you AND Krystal AND Lynn. simultaneously
Draco says: why me? it's not MY fault
George says: you chose the colour
Draco says: fine then we can go with red. either way, we're not getting out of here. so it's all for giggles
Lynn's Voice says: -distant but hysterical laughter-
George says: fine... -does eeny meeny miny mo- ...it's blue
Krystal's Voice says: -hushed- YES!
Lynn's Voice says: shh!
Krystal's Voice says: -maniacal laughter-
Lynn's Voice says: shut up you'll give it away!
George says: ...
Krystal's Voice says: -distant- yeah but red is worse. they're just both hilarious
Lynn's Voice says: SHHH!!
Draco says: u heard her... red is worse
George says: I'm soooo doomed. on the count of three then, I reckon
Draco says: ok
Together: one... two... three... -pops pill-
George says: ...
Draco says: what the fuck was that supposed to do?
George says: -eyes snap open wider- hehehe. -terribly nasty dirty smirk appears-
Draco says: ermmm... Krystal? Lynn??
Lynn's Voice says: as I said, HAVE FUN
Draco says: STAY ON YOUR SIDE
George says: heh...- maniacal glint in eye as he approaches Draco-
Draco says: what d'you think you're playing at???
George says: -keeps coming towards and walls box them in closer-
Draco says: er... -trips and falls backwards-
George says: -manages to get on top of Draco-
Draco says: what are you--- oof
George says: -pins his arms down-
Draco says: Lynn! Krystal!
George says: -bends his head down to kiss him-
Draco says: -turns head away-
Krystal's Voice says: -barely audible- er... george?
Draco says: -struggling-
George says: -grasps Draco's mouth in his and forcefully attacks him with tongue-
Draco says: -squirm-
Krystal's Voice says: -slightly more audible- george?
George says: -tears off Draco's shirt-
Draco says: help!!!!!!!
George says: -still attacking him-
Draco says: -struggling to release arms
Krystal's Voice says: -almost audible- GEORGE
George says: -unzips zipper-
Lynn's Voice says: -howling with laughter-
Krystal's Voice says: -clearly and sharply- GEORGE STOP!
George says: -pauses- what?!
Krystal's Voice says: you idiot! what are you DOING? THOSE WERE SUGAR PILLS! it's just CANDY!
Lynn's Voice says: dude wtf you killed it! IT WAS GETTING GOOD
Krystal's Voice says: yeah but... it was candy. CANDY made him attempt to rape draco
George says: -colour drains from face- didn't feel like candy...
Draco says: HAHAHA TOLD you I could get you off!