Reflections

by Macx

A tag to the episode Cold Sweat

Reflections
A Tag to Cold Sweat
by Birgit Staebler

"Now I've done it."
Cosmo morosely stared at the opposite brick wall. The red-haired teenager was sitting on the bare ground at the docks of Electro City's commercial harbor, legs drawn up. It was late in the afternoon, but even though, the freighters were still coming in. Electro City was one of the largest cities at the Bay and commercial traffic actually never really stopped. The sun cut through the clouds, warming the cobble-stone quay road, reflecting off the lazily moving water. In the distance a ship could be seen as it moved into the new harbor that had been built to serve as a secondary commercial center several miles west of here, and above sea gulls drew their circles.
"I totally and utterly blew it."
It had been two days since his almost deadly run-in with Gus Morland, which had turned out better than anyone could have dared to hope. But in this time, Cosmo had almost completely ruined his friendship with Ace. First he had stolen the visco glasses and had been caught. It had been a dumb stunt and now, looking back at it, he knew he shouldn't have given in to the temptation. But that was just it: it had been such a great temptation. Cosmo had planned on paying for the glasses, but in the end.... his old instincts as a thief had taken over and he really forgotten about them. They had caught him and Ace had bailed him out.

"You were caught red-handed stealing."
"Stealing? I was just trying them on!" Cosmo protested.
"Trying them on in your pocket? Novel idea."

Cosmo angrily kicked at a stone.
His rebellious remarks had hurt his friend, but at the time Cosmo couldn't have cared less. Then Ace had kept secrets from him -- more than usual and more than Cosmo was used to -- and it had been like the last nail in the coffin. Cosmo had simply stomped out of the Magic Express, furious and hurt. He had run into Gus and from there on, things had gone even more downhill. Hearing about Ace's criminal past had been like a blow and it had opened a deep, emotional wound inside him.
Why had Ace never told him?
Why had he never mentioned it with a single word?
Why keep it from Cosmo, of all people?!
Okay, so Ace was trying to be like a father figure for the younger man and
confessing he had made mistakes, gross mistakes, in the past would not have impressed Cosmo, but still.....
Ace had worked for Jack Malone, he had broken into buildings, he had stolen stuff, he had been a criminal. If he had just told Cosmo, explained how it had been, but the teenager had to hear it from a vengeful former partner, and it had stung. Of all the people to work for.... Jack Malone, now Blackjack..... In a way he now understood the animosities between the two, the hatred.....
"You could have told me!"
His throat burned with unreleased emotions and Cosmo swallowed reflexively.

"Why should I believe you more than him? We are all just crooks."

He still remembered the shocked and hurt expression on Ace's face, and his own satisfaction as he had delivered the blow. Then he had felt smug and superior, now he felt like scum.
Ace hadn't deserved this.
The older man had kept Cosmo from ending up in either juvenile home or another form of detention, and though Cosmo had been rebellious back then, he had finally adjusted to this exciting new life. Who wouldn't have liked to live like that? Working for the famous Ace Cooper; living in the Magic Express; unlimited access to the latest technology; a pet panther; fast cars and bikes! Ace had let him take flying lessons to help him wit the aerial tricks as well. He had let him tinker with new stuff, take it apart, rewire stuff, make his own programs..... Then he had discovered that the magician was actually able to use real magic, and he had been dumbstruck at first. Ace Cooper lived a second life as a crimefighter. He helped out Vega, he lent a helping hand to people in need, and he could access what he called the Magic Force.
Cool.
No doubt about it.
And crimefighting gave Cosmo a thrill. It was an adrenaline rush that could be compared to nothing -- except when Ace tried out another impossible trick that froze the blood in his partner's veins. His friends envied him this adventurous life and Cosmo knew he owed Ace Cooper all of it, and Ace had never asked for anything impossible in return.
Back at the beginning he had been suspicious. Why would a stranger care for him? Especially someone he had tried to steal from? What was Cooper's plan? There had been none. Ace had simply tried to help and now he understood why; at least partially. The magician had tried to make up for something he had done in the past.

"What goes around comes around. Sooner or later we all pay for our misdeeds."

Ace had paid and he was still paying, but he had given Cosmo a second chance. His own father had declared the boy a delinquent from birth. He hadn't really cared for him and whenever Cosmo had run into trouble, he had not been able to turn to his own father. He had no idea where he was today and he actually didn't care. Cosmo refused to reveal his birth name, favoring the 'nick name' he now had. The old man had been only too happy to have the teen out of his hair. He didn't want the responsibility anymore and Cosmo had been placed into a home. He had run away, joined gangs, had hacked into computer systems, had stolen, had broken into houses..... everything to accepted and to survive another day. He didn't even know his mother. Cosmo was an orphan of kinds and Ace had tried to be something of both a big brother and a father figure. He had taken over the responsibility for Cosmo and had accepted guardianship.
It hadn't been easy -- for both of them. Cosmo still remembered the conversation he had listened in to between Ace and Vega.

"Ace, he's a criminal. He'll hack into the mainframe and steal your data; he'll rob you blind; he'll bail out the moment you leave him out of your eyes; and I just know I'll see him back here in a matter of days!"
Cooper shook his head. "Maybe, but he deserves a chance, Vega. You gave another boy a chance many years ago and I think you never regretted it."
"That was different. Cosmo didn't come to me or you get help; he was caught by you. You saw his file!"
"I saw that he is highly intelligent and in need of guidance."
Vega sighed. "You'll just get yourself a load of trouble, Ace. Let me tell you, you better reinforce the Express because he'll take it apart."
The magician shook his head. "I will give him a chance and there won't be any strings attached."
Vega shrugged. "Okay, your choice. I bet you lunch at Sarah's that he will be back here within a week."
Ace only smiled.

Cosmo had been hurt and angered by the conversation. The police had a very low opinion of the young delinquent, but Cooper was ready to give him a chance. Drawn between dumping the magician and at least giving the whole gig a try, he had finally stayed at the Magic Express. The temptation to hack into Angel or to nick some stuff had been almost overwhelming. Ace had treated him like a normal human being, telling him just a few basic rules, which Cosmo had been able to live with, and then he had left him alone.
He had had his freedom, he had been able to follow his hobbies and he had still met with his old friends. Ace had sometimes intervened when things had gone out of hand, but in time, everything had started to work out.
And how had Cosmo repaid him?
More anger rose inside him. He had fought against Ace and everyone at first, then turned his anger on new targets, though after a while, he had adjusted. Now this..... first the theft, then the betrayal in form of Gus, and in the end he had broken into a vault and stolen diamonds. Why he hadn't been arrested yet was beyond him. Okay, so Vega and Ace were friends, but that didn't mean Cosmo was above the law. Lieutenant Derek Vega had read him the riot act when he had first been brought in by two officers, then he had called Ace without filing a report. It had been both a warning and a last chance. Cosmo had not taken it. He had ignored the warning. Instead he had endangered the best chance and only shot he had at a new life.
His life with the famous magician Ace Cooper had been magical indeed. He was a stage assistant, a partner, and responsible for the technical side of Ace's tricks. Finally he could work on all the nifty gadgets and machines he had always dreamed off, learned some of the most secret tricks, and no one forced him into anything.
Another blow into his face.
Ace had never forced him to do something he didn't like, not even into revealing his given name, though he guessed Ace knew. Cosmo knew he was highly intelligent because of an IQ test he had taken as a kid in school, but he had never really finished any school. He had bailed out of junior high several times before finally taking the finals -- which he had sailed through with flying colors. Highschool had been a farce. Okay, so he was good and he managed straight As in all the classes that had to do with technical stuff, mathematics, physics and the likes, but he hated the school system, so he had finally left. What a joke!
Everything he knew was self-taught or learned through experience. When he had come to live in the Magic Express, the coolest home he could think of, he had learned from Angel. He had been fourteen then. The AI had slowly but surely roused his interest in things and he had come to realize that for some of the technical stuff, he needed background knowledge. Cosmo had easily acquired some of his skills, had studied hard for the rest, and Ace had always been there. He had encouraged him to try out his ideas and he had accepted his input into some tricks.
Now....
Cosmo sighed and buried his head in his arms.
It would be no big surprise if Ace threw him out now. He had kicked him in the gut and watched him fall and bleed, feeling satisfied with his deeds.

"Hey, I thought we formed a team here! One little screw-up and now you don't trust me?"
"That's not it, Cosmo. It's just that this information is highly sensitive."
"Ah, so that's how it is? Well, I'm just gonna go somewhere I'm wanted!"
"Cosmo! You misunderstood me! Wait!"

He hadn't waited. He had left, angry and disappointed.
Now he would have to leave as well. No way Ace would be able to trust him again like before, even though they had wrapped up this case together.
Ace had been very busy the last twenty-four hours. Not only did he have to rehearse a show, he had also worked on finding a solution for Gus' problem. Ace knew people who in turn knew others, and if Cosmo understood correctly, there was a way to control Morland's freak transformation from a normal human being into a walking block of ice. Ace would pay for the treatment -- a way to pay back his friend for his past failures.
Cosmo had no way to pay back Ace for what he had done for him in the last years since taking him in; and now....?
"I was so stupid!"
He could leave now, in secrecy, and be done with it. There were places a boy could hide and Ace would never find him. Maybe running away would be for the best. Then again, he knew the magician would never stop searching for him. And running away like that would hurt Ace even more.
Ace had yet to bring the topic of Cosmo's misdeeds up anyway, but he knew it would rise sooner or later. While Cooper wasn't the one to keep reminding Cosmo of his wrong-doings, he acted like a parent from time to time; and Cosmo actually didn't really mind. He preferred Ace as a father to his real father.
"I don't deserve his friendship," he whispered, repeating what he had said at the cryogenic center.
"And why should you think that?"
Cosmo's head came up with a snap and he scrambled to his feet, eyes wide. "Ace!"
Ace Cooper smiled warmly. "I've been looking all over for you, Cosmo."
"I...I... I..." he stuttered.
Ace's face held a both serious and worried expression. "Why do you think you don't deserve my friendship?" he now repeated his question.
"Because I betrayed you!" Cosmo blurted. "I nearly got you killed!"
Ace shook his head. "No, you didn't. It was my fault as well. I didn't want you to get involved and because I tried to keep you out of trouble, you got into it."
Cosmo stuffed his hands into his pockets. "I always do," he mumbled. "I think my father was right. I'm a born delinquent and whatever I do, I end up getting into trouble."
A hand touched his shoulder and he looked up. Ace's gray eyes were smiling. "No, you are not. Like I told you, you make your own future and you were not born a criminal. Neither was I. We both slipped and we both were used. Gus' anger drew you to him because you were angry as well. You wanted to hurt someone, strike out, and I was in the way. Cosmo, I understand." He stopped briefly. "I was the same for a while after what happened.... with Jack Malone."
He was visibly pained by the memories and Cosmo felt unwell. He didn't want to hurt Ace again by having him recall those painful moments.
"Ace, listen, dude......"
Ace shook his head. "I was hurt back then and the memories are still painful. I never forgave myself for leaving Gus, for trusting Jack, and for doing what I did back then. But I wasn't born a criminal and neither were you. I was given a chance by Vega to change. I would like to keep giving you that chance." He smiled and raised one eyebrow.
"You won't kick me out?" Cosmo asked hesitantly.
"Of course not! Why would you think I'd do such a thing? Cosmo, you made a mistake, but I think you learned form it. I trust you and we are partners, as you pointed out. I apologize for having secrets, but everything was... very personal."
"I understand... I think."
"I hope you do. I didn't think you'd ever be confronted with that part of my past and I simply overlooked it." Ace sighed softly. "I made mistakes."
"So did I." Cosmo bit his lower lip. He thought he had lost this insecurity, but it had flared full force when Ace had shut him out.
"So.... if you want to leave, I won't keep you. But you are welcome to stay, partner."
Ace stretched out one hand. Cosmo couldn't believe his luck. He carefully reached out and Ace's hand closed around his, shaking it.
"Thanks, man," Cosmo said softly.
"What for?"
"Trusting me once more."
"I never mistrusted you, Cosmo," Ace said seriously. "I told you when I took over guardianship that I will never restrain you in any way, that you are free to make your own choices, that I expect in return is that you turn your back on your former 'career'."
"Didn't work out," the teenager mumbled.
"You worked hard to get where you are today, Cosmo," Ace reminded him. "The little mishap with the viscos is nothing I'd call alarming, though I'd like you to try and work on that."
"Promise! I'm sorry about that anyway. I... I don't know why I did it," Cosmo explained quickly.
"Maybe you wanted to prove something?" Ace asked with a smile.
Cosmo stuffed his hands in his pockets once more and shrug uncomfortably. He mumbled something.
Ace chuckled. "You don't have to. I know your talents, my friend, and stealing isn't one of them I need you to have."
"Hey, comes in handy sometimes!" the younger man protested.
Ace laughed. "Yes, maybe, but not like that." He grew serious again. "It's your decision, your life. I won't hold you back."
Cosmo shook his head. "I don't want to leave," he confessed. "I just thought you would kick me out."
"You should really know me better than that by now," Ace chided with a smile.
The teenager shrugged.
Ace placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "Cosmo, you will always have a home at my place; always. I might not be able to replace your family, but the door will always be open."
Cosmo fidgeted uncomfortably. "You are family," he then mumbled, evading Ace's eyes. "The only one I have."
The older man's face softened briefly. "Thank you," he said, voice soft as well. "You are the only family I have as well."
Cosmo smiled awkwardly, clearly out of his depths with the suddenly very open emotional moment.
They walked slowly back along the quay toward to where the Magic Racer was parked. Cosmo had his eyes fixed on the cobble stones, deep in thought.
"How's Gus?" he finally asked, trying to steer the conversation away from waters he was unable to swim through.
"Dr. Parker thinks he can help him. It will take a while for his body to adjust, even if he looks almost back to normal by now," Ace explained readily. "In a few months the doctors can tell whether or not he has to take the drugs he is taking now for the rest of his life, or if his body has readjusted."
"Good to hear they could help him."
Ace nodded. "It's a great relief." There was a strange expression on his face. "I lost a friend once. I don't want to lose one again."
Cosmo didn't really know whether Ace was talking about Gus or him, but in a way, he talked about both. He wished he could respond with something witty or smart, but he couldn't think of anything. Instead, the red-haired teenager silently got into the car, sliding a bit deeper into the seat. Ace started the car and pulled away from the docks.
"You ready to help me with the rehearsal?" Ace asked into the silence.
Cosmo grinned all of a sudden. "Hey, you know I am, man. And I'd love to try out the new program!"
Ace chuckled. "I knew you would."
As they pulled up at the Ring Theater, the magician shot Cosmo another look.
"I'll be okay," Cosmo said, shrugging.
Ace briefly squeezed his shoulder. "I never doubted it. I promise that in the future, I will not shut you, and if I fail in that.... remind me. It's not easy for me to change...."
"I'm not asking for you to."
"A little change can't hurt. I've been alone in my world for too long. I think I never realized that you played such a big part in it as well."
A hurt expression briefly crossed the younger man's features. Ace sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose.
"Let me rephrase that. I didn't realize how much I had pulled you into my world, a dangerous world. I wanted to protect you from this part of my past and I failed, pushing you away and right into the danger I had tried to evade." He closed his eyes and shook his head. "You are part of this team in more ways than one."
Cosmo smiled. "Hey, I think even the great Ace Cooper needs time to adjust to some things," he quipped.
Ace laughed softly. "I guess so."
They both walked inside, Cosmo feeling much better, though with still a lot to think over on his mind. He hadn't lost a friend and much more important, he had not lost Ace's respect. He had learned another lesson and he would always be reminded of it. The next few days would be tough and he had to work through his emotions. Work would help. Work and the unwavering friendship he knew Ace held for him.
"Thanks, man," he said so softly that no one could hear him.
Almost no one.
Ace, who had taken the tunnel toward the Ring Theater's main stage, looked over his shoulder and smiled warmly, then continued. They had a show to prepare for.