AUTHOR'S NOTE: Hey there! It's SushiFanatic again, back with a SHS FanFiction. This was inspired on other FanFiction, which is also about Jessica, but this one is different. And I get it– Jessica might be ten times more evil than this, but everyone can be a good person, so when I had the idea, I figured: why not?

WARNING: This is pretty short, it's a one-shot. Sorry 'bout that :/

Hope you enjoy!

-Sushi

Disclaimer: I do not own Surviving High School, but sometimes, I wish I did...

Jessica didn't control herself most of the time.

She only looked forward to perfection, popularity and beauty, although she already had plenty. Those were the things she wished for the most, and she was determined to do anything to get them. Even though she had to manipulate someone as sweet as a mouthful of sugar or overthrow a mean, bossy but innocent Head Cheerleader. Even though it meant breaking up a happy couple or ruining other people's high school dreams. Jessica would do anything to reach her goals. She became Head Cheerleader right away, pushing aside anyone who stood in her way to the top. But she fell off the social pyramid when sweet, benedict Zoe had overthrown her– along with Taylor Vale, who was getting her revenge.

And it hurt. It hurt to overthrow Zoe a lot: Jessica noticed Zoe was brokenhearted, and Jessica couldn't stand to see her that way. She was shocked at her own meanness, specially when she heard Sam comforting, and Jessica went through a lot of pain too. Zoe had been her only chance of discovering the way friendship tasted like. But now she was gone, and Jessica was stuck in her fake, mean cheerleader personality. But a part of her was still looking forward to popularity. A part of her didn't care. "It's lonely at the top." Those were the words she lived by.

But why did she do this for? She often thought. There were sometimes when she was tired of the pressure of being popular: everyone's expecting you to be something you're not. Jessica didn't want to be ungrateful for her popularity, but she often wished she could just wear some ripped jeans and go to Starbucks with some friends –some real friends– like any other teenager would. She wanted to be who she wanted to, not the monster she had become.

But she was intimidated. Jessica would be the popular cheerleader everyone feares, but deep down inside, she was just a scared little girl. She was scared of what people would say, she was scared of never being who she was. She had been popular since birth, and she never got to know how it would feel like to have real friends. Those who cared about her feelings, who would make her laugh in a bad day where everything was wrong.

Jessica looked at the mirror. Her mascara was slowly ruining as her eyes filled with tears, and she started crying. She was living a life she did not want to live. It was living torture to Jessica to suffer the consequences of something she hadn't entirely caused. When she dated Ben, she really loved him. It was more than just a lie. Jessica tried to imagine Ben standing beside her, comforting her. But she couldn't. He was gone, and she could do nothing about it. Everything she had worked for– it was all gone. When suddenly, she thought:

If you don't want your life, what do you live for?

And she understood. She knew she was living for a reason, she was Jessica Blaire for a reason, she had her perks and problems for a reason.

And no matter what other people said, or did, she would find a way.

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