Butterflies and Hurricanes
I knew it was finally happening, the day had come that universe had decided I was too happy, after all this time Alexander and I have spent together, it was now dying, separating me and him for good.
It was a terrible accident caused by my own love for a mystery. After all curiosity killed the cat, why would it affect me any different?
I was on my way to see Alexander when I heard an odd sound coming from the grave yard. Hoping to maybe see a ghost or something I followed the strange noise into the foggy yard, ended up tripping on a rock, and ironically landing in an opened grave. I didn't even feel it when my head finally hit the hard ground, even if I had somehow survived the fall I probably would have died anyway, forgotten in this deep grave that now seemed to have my name on it.
I woke up a few minutes later, if you can even call it waking up. I guess I could be described in many different ways. Whether it was my soul coming alive, my spirit haunting my death, I just turned in to a ghost to forever haunt this Earth, I found myself staring down at me only it wasn't like it was me at all, like I was seeing the scene in someone else's point of view. It was hard to believe I was looking at myself, the scene looked absolutely terrible there was dirt all over me and blood seemed to drip from both from under my now forever closed eye lids and my open mouth. My body seemed to be at total peace, too peaceful for me, the one viewing this tragedy, to even feel comfortable. It was horrifying scene that was terrible enough to make a Goth cry. I stared back at myself with disbelief. I'm dead. I looked away, this couldn't be true this all had to be a dream.
With that a huge light seemed to flash down from the sky, forming almost a door in front of me. This is must be the light that all those ghost movies are talking about. It was absolutely beautiful, the beauty was so breathtaking that for a few seconds I forgot to breath. Oh wait I'm dead, I never gonna breath real air again.
I sighed and took a step towards the light, only stop again.
Before I leave I at least wanted to say good bye Alexander, the love of my life and now my after-life. Somehow I had to let him know that I loved him, one last time.
Maybe I would get lucky and we might still have time for him to change me in to a vampire. I might have a chance of actually living and spend the rest of my ideal life with him, plus we would be on sacred ground, so he can keep me forever. I smiled at the thought, but only for second, then I was once again swept with the misery that I was really dead.
"It's worth a try," I said to myself. I stepped away from the light and again turned my back on my grave as I started walking towards Alexander's mansion.
As I grew closer I realized what the sound that had attracted me to the cemetery was. It was not the moaning soul I had thought, but instead it was screech of an electric guitar. It was no mystery why music was playing in the grave yard, Alexander's fingerprints were all over this, and I sprint to him for my last sight. I found him setting up a cute little picnic with a black lace table cloth on the ground covered with delicious food, blood red candle spread out all over the grave to make a spooky glow, and my gorgeous boyfriend humming the words along with AFI's Dancing Through Sunday.
I felt deep sadness in my core, as I gazed at everything he has done for me, again going out of his way to make a perfect evening for someone like me, I swear, everyday he proved just how much I didn't deserve him, yet he still loved me with all of his heart.
"Oh my Dark Prince, if only there still a way for us to be together." I said.
He continued to work not hearing me. I watched him as he made everything perfect, preparing for my arrival, which would never happen.
Time passed as song after song ended. Marilyn Manson, Disturbed, My Chemical Romance, Korn, Muse, one after another he waited and waited but I never came and he began to get nervous.
"Where's Raven, she should have been here by now?" he said getting from the where he was waiting. "She couldn't have gotten lost could she?" he began to worry to himself. "She's been here about a million times?" he called for me. "Raven? Raven?" But of course how could I answer him, I was dead.
"Oh Alexander I wish you could see me," I said to him.
"Raven?," he paused. "I told her to meet me here yesterday, and is she went to the Mansion Jameson must have told her as well?" he whispered
"Why can't you just see me? Please just see me!"
"Raven?" he continued to call "Maybe she didn't want to come," his deep brown eyes became filled with sadness.
"I'M RIGHT HERE DAMMIT!" I screamed! "SEE ME!" at the sounds of my screams, a bottle with a deep red liquid in it, broke. Blood spilled all over the ground. Alexander looked over at it shocked and then turned directly to me.
"Raven?" he said "how'd you do... whoa you're as pale as a ghost."
"Alexander," I gasped. "Alexander I want you to know that I love you so much, more than I can even tell you."
He smiled
"I love you too," he said. "Now c'mon it's date night." He patted the ground next to him as he sat down.
"I just wanted to tell you that before I leave." I said my voice low
"Leave? What are you talking about? You just got here," he looked intently at my face. "Your leaving, y-you can't be leaving, not after everything we've gone through, after Jagger, Luna, Valentine, and even my parent, you're just going to leave that all behind?"
"I have to leave, I just can't stay, I need to go," I whispered I could practically hear his heart breaking.
"Then let me come with you, I'll use the auction money and buy an apartment, just don't leave me," he said his voice cracking with sadness.
"No, NO! You can't come with me, not yet!" I yelled.
"THEN WHEN? WHEN?" he pleaded. He started walking towards me and I took a few steps back.
"I don't know when, but one day we'll meet again." I turned around and walked away I felt ghostly tears run down my cheeks," I hated myself for having done that, but it had to be done. I had to tell I loved him one more time, that way he wouldn't blame himself."
"No Raven please don't leave, if you stay I promise, we can set a date, I'll change you, just please stay with me." I felt him walk right through me. "RAVEN," he cried. I lift my translucent, shaky hand and touched his dark locks.
"I knew this would he hard, but I just need you to reach closure, I need you to remember that I love you and I'll always love you. Please don't hang your entire life on my death, move on, you know I'd want you to."
I stared walking when I heard him sniff the air around him.
"Blood?" he whispered. "... no, NO Raven!" he shouted running toward where my body laid.
"No Alexander, no please no please just go back to the mansion, please go back, please don't find me, not like this. This isn't how I wanted it to happen. I wanted someone else to find me not you. I didn't want you to live with this memory. I ran after him, pleading, but of course my cries fell on deaf ears. He quickly made his way through the foggy night till he finally found where I fell.
"RAVEN OH MY GOD! RAVEN NO PLEASE NO! YOUR OKAY YOU'LL BE OKAY! PLEASE RAVEN NO!" he said jumping in to the grave with me I watched with sad eyes as he took my lifeless body into his arms and cried. My word of leaving finally making sense to him
"RAVEN, RAVEN NO!"
I jumped down next to him and put my arms around him, (of course my arms went right through his body) and he looked up as if he could sense I was there. I cried along with him when I heard ghostly breathing coming from behind me.
I turned around to see a women with snow white hair. Although I have never met her, I knew at once who she was, and it was finally meeting her that put the last nail in the coffin.
"Hello Raven," the beautiful, strong, old women said with a sad smile.
"Mrs. Sterling," I said gazing at her.
"Oh please call me Grandmother, it been so long since I have referred to me as Mrs. Sterling."
I gazed back at Alexander as her went into a hysterical cry.
"He loved you so much," Alexander's grandmother said. "I have been watching over you two, and I can tell he really wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, protecting you if that's how it had to be."
"I was prepared to spend the rest of my life with him as well, doing whatever it took." I whispered.
"I saw that too, you two had a love like no one else I have seen at your age. I am glad that my Grandson has found someone so wonderful to love. You are such a strong, independent, women, while at the same time so feminine and beautiful, I couldn't have picked a better match myself. You're just exactly what Alexander needs."
"I was," I sighed depressed.
"you're not giving up are you?" she asked shocked. " I would have never thought that someone as brave and strong as you would give up on life like that?"
"Is there really any other choice?" I asked hopeless.
"Yes, yes your love for life is strong, this may not be the same for your wardrobe and interests but life seems to radiate from your core, everyday you seemed to wake up with reason and happiness, and as happy as am that my Grandson is a big cause in that, it makes me sad for you to just give up because of a silly accident."
"But how can I? There's no other way" I asked.
"How can you not?" she asked in her Romanian accent. "You must take the love you have for life, the love you have for Alexander, the love for the ambitions you have to change this stereotype everyone has for you. Believe in something strong and if it's strong enough you just might be able to change anything you set our mind to!"
"And it will work? I'll go back?" I asked excited.
"As long as it's a strong cause, I know you can do it Raven, I have always liked and approved of you, so please just go back and save a grandmother from seeing her grandson so upset." She pleaded
"Thank you so much Grandmother," I said walking towards her and doing something I could never be able to describe, kind of ghost- teleportation. I disappeared out of the grave and reappeared right in front of Grandmother and wrapped my arms around her. She was startled but hugged me back. I felt as if I had broken the rules and hugged the queen of England.
"You're welcome, young Raven. Now go and be with my grandson and...do tell him I love him."
"Of course," I agreed beginning to concentrate on everything she had said, but I stopped for a second and turned to my boyfriend's Grandmother. "If you knew you how to come back, why didn't you when you died?" I asked.
"Because," she said I knew it was my time to leave, and when it's your time to leave, then that might be what's the right thing to do."
" why didn't you go in to the light?" I asked.
"I have considered going in to it many times, but every time I come back to the same reason why I am still here. The light is great for some people, but for me I would much rather stay here and watch over my family, it gives me pride and happiness to see how things are working out for them. Now go Raven, you haven't much time left."
I listened to her ordered and concentrated, I thought about the electric I felt whenever I was around Alexander and how he made me feel when we kissed. I thought about all the things I wanted to do in life, like my gothic fashion magazine, or becoming a vampire, and how would usher in Alexander to everything in my life as much as I could. I thought about how me and Alexander would move out of this boring old town and move somewhere more exciting or maybe just stay here and live in the Mansion. As long as we were together we would both be happy. I thought about Becky and how upset she would be if I were to never see her again. I thought of the pain it would give my mom, dad and even Billy, if they were to find out I have died, their only daughter, and Billy boy's only older sibling to look up to. Who knows where he would end up without me?
Sure enough after moments of concentrating as hard as I could on everything I loved and held dear to me, I began to feel less buoyant, and more solid. I opened my eyes which seemed extremely hard to do and I saw Alexander's beautiful face.
"Raven," he said his eyes glowing with happiness and relief heavy in his voice.
"Alexander," I whispered.
"OH MY GOD, I THOUGHT I LOST YOU FOREVER," he said wrapping his arms around me as I sat up.
"You did for a few minutes," I said
He put both of his hand on both sides of my face and gazed deep in my eyes. "What do you mean?" he asked.
I leaned in to him. "I saw your grandmother," I whispered. I saw a hint of shock mixed in the happiness in his deep eyes
"What?" he asked.
"She told me that she approves of me and thinks that I am just the type of girl that you need in your life, a girl that can make you happy."
He smiled.
"Well grandma's right, I have known that since day one. I leaned in and kissed him.
"She also told me to tell you that she loves you and she thinks that you are doing a wonderful thing with your life. I can tell by how much she wanted me to come back to you, that she is proud of you and happy you have found someone to love. "
"I'm happy too and I'm so glad you're okay, and I didn't lose you," he said taking me into his arms. "I love you so much!"
"I love you too," I said kissing him again, loving that I was once again alive. I also felt a presence following both Alexander and I as we went back to the Mansion. I also felt it when Jameson was giving me stitches. A miracle had happened when I woke up (for real), the fatal injury I had gotten, healed, leaving just a few scratched. I simply changing in to the spare clothes I left at the Mansion I was able to spend the rest of the night with no problem.
Alexander considered it to perhaps be miracle caused by magic or love, but I knew exactly what both the miracle and presence were, it was a sweet grandmother watching, and taking care of her family.