Make you say "Oh, my!"

Feels just like I don't try

Look so good I might die

All I know is:

everybody loves me!

"What should I do? I've never been on a date before…"

At the moment, I'm sitting on my bed in our hotel room. After the incident in Mr. Crepsley's hometown, we decided to get far away from both the Cirque and the town altogether. We couldn't risk getting hunted down by some Murlough's vampaneze friends. While we were here in this little town, I met this great girl named Marissa. She was no Debbie but that was a good thing. She was cute, hyper, and clueless. Even after the whole Debbie thing, I felt more confident about asking girls out. It was still hard but I felt like I had practiced somehow. So here I am, asking my best friend Evra and my vampire mentor Mr. Crepsley for advice.

"Darren, you've been on a date before. Remember Debbie?" Evra asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"She doesn't count," I objected. "I didn't do anything with her. It was just the movies."

"You must be very careful with human girls," Mr. Crepsley warned. "Since you are much stronger than any boy should be, you must be very careful around her. You must not let your hormones take you over. You will be tempted greatly, but you must put that aside. Be gentle."

"Right," Evra agreed with a nod. "Don't get too freaky on her." He winked.

I felt myself blush. "You guys, it's not serious, we just—"

"But you could get serious," Evra interrupted with a smirk.

Mr. Crepsley shot me a look. I gulped.

"Like I said when you were with Debbie: just be yourself, talk to her, tell her some jokes and then…." his voice trailed off.

"And then…?" Mr. Crepsley asked.

"Give her a big kiss!" Evra exclaimed, wrapping his arms around himself and puckering his lips.

"In my experience with the ladies," Mr. Crepsley began with a cough, "they love flattery. Flatter her. Make her feel as though she is a prized jewel. Be a gentleman. Flirt here and there. Surprise her."

Evra laughed. "Mr. Crepsley, I had no idea you knew about the ladies!"

Mr. Crepsley tried his hardest not to blush. "I've had experience."

"Well, um," I said awkwardly, blushing more than I ever had. "I think I'll go with Evra's advice on this one."

Evra jumped up and pumped his fist in the air. "Yeah!"

I looked at Mr. Crepsley with a guilty expression on my face. "It's not that your advice was bad, it just sounds like it'd be for… older guys."

Mr. Crepsley nodded. "I understand. Evra should know more about the ladies of your age. I will tell you more about them when you are… old enough to make use of my advice."

I nodded. "Okay," I said with a smile.

Evra slung his arm around my shoulder. With a smug look on his face he said, "All right Darren, here's what you're gonna do…"