What really happened during Harry's second year.
Disclaimer: I don't even own the plot.
This was not written by me. This was written by someone named monkeymouse on another fan fiction site. . . But I thought it was so cool that it should be on this site to. . . monkeymouse, if you ever read this you are an awesome writer!
A/N On FF.net, if I put three periods, it only turns out to be one period, so I'm going to try something with this to see if they come out . . . I hope it worked.
* * * *
The assembled faculty of Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry, plus its board of twelve Governors and the resident ghosts, met to discuss school business one week before the start of classes. The meeting was in a conference room near Headmaster Albus Dumbledore's office. (The only one who wasn't there was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, Gilderoy Lockhart. He was on a book promotion tour and wouldn't arrive until the first day of term.) The meeting had started with an hour's worth of fruitless discussion, which might have gone on for another hour when Dumbledore rose.
"Further debate seems unable to shed either light or heat on this question. Therefore I second the motion of my esteemed colleague Professor Severus Snape to table the discussion of a formal course of Muggle Studies until a date to be determined by the board, whilst retaining Muggle Studies as an elective at Hogwarts."
Lucius Malfoy, a particularly disagreeable Governor on the board and father of Draco Malfoy, an equally disagreeable student, smiled inwardly. He saw no reason for the school to waste time and resources by studying-as if such a thing could or should be studied-the non-magical world.
"Point of order! Point of order!" moaned a voice like a rusted hinge. It was Professor Binns, the History of Magic instructor and the only ghost on the faculty. "How can we deny our responsibility by ignoring a solution that is so close even I can almost touch it? Magic users and non-users have fraternized for centuries now; 'twas ever thus. . ."
"And evermore shall be so," Dumbledore interrupted. "Your point is taken, but there is a motion on the floor. . ."
Professor Binns seemed not to realize he had been interrupted. "And, left to themselves, these matters usually work themselves out perfectly well."
"Some would dispute that claim," interrupted the governor from Stonehenge, Llanfair Mhobhgurheihahn (which he pronounced "Moran").
Professor Minerva McGonagall rose at once. "Which makes it all the more important that somebody conduct some proper research!"
Dumbledore flourished his wand and lobbed a few fireballs, no bigger than pennies, to the center of the conference table. They exploded with no damage but a mighty flash of light. "May I have order please! We're not going over this battlefield again. There is a motion on the floor and it has been seconded; all in favor. . ."
The ayes had it, barely. Dumbledore desperately hoped that this Muggle problem would be the worst of it. After the previous year, with the arrival of both Harry Potter and his never-to-be-named nemesis, he thought that he deserved a quiet year.
So of course, the next thing that happened was that an owl crashed through the window. It was a large and muscular owl, as it had to be to break through that window in a single blow. It laid upon the table, panting like a marathon runner, a scroll still in its claw. "Mine, I think," said Professor Phyllida Sprout, the Herbology instructor. She was one of the most even-tempered, levelheaded members of the Hogwarts faculty, and it took a lot to fluster her. Which is why she surprised everyone when, having read half the message, she burst out "Oh dear!" and followed it up with "I'm taking a leave of absence from Hogwarts, effective at once. I'll be back in about two months, I hope, but don't count on me until after Christmas." With that, she was out the door. "What's that all about?" McGonagall asked. For answer, Dumbledore passed the scroll to her.
After looking it over for a minute, McGonagall explained to the others. "It's from her niece. She's with child, and wanted one last holiday in Majorca before the baby came. Unfortunately, no sooner does she get to Spain than she starts having trouble. I'll spare you the details. Anyway, the niece sends for Sprout; seems she doesn't trust the local practitioner, and wants family around in any case."
Snape stirred. "Why can't we just send her a get-well owl? The Herbology classes won't take care of themselves."
For the next few minutes they talked about how to fill in for Sprout. No teacher wanted to take on a second teaching load, and all the obvious choices were on research trips or sabbaticals or otherwise engaged.
Poppy Pomfrey, who ran the Infirmary, spoke up. "I don't have a teaching position, and I really don't know enough about plants to try to fill in for her there, but I'm sure I could step in as acting head of Hufflepuff House while Sprout's away."
"Very good of you," Dumbledore nodded.
"And speaking of Herbologists, weren't you telling me, McGonagall, about an owl you received the other day. . ." "Of course! I'm sure most of you remember Isolde Barkleberry. She was Prefect for the Hufflepuff girls a few years ago. Scored highest marks in a century in Herbology. I've often heard Sprout say that she hoped Barkleberry would take over the greenhouses here when Sprout's time came to step down."
"And we all hope that won't be for a long time to come," Dumbledore added, "but what have you heard from her?"
"She's been traveling the world as part of her University graduate studies. She's looking for a magic fertilizer even Muggles can use, in any climate. Says she wants to eliminate famine once and for all."
"And give all our secrets away," Snape muttered. "A laudable pursuit, but I still don't see. . ."
"Sorry, but I'm just coming to the point. She mentioned that she had recently met with a very gifted Herbalist; said she was the only one who could surpass even Sprout herself, and was very well versed in the old ways. Said her name was Madame Kokiri." "Was she a student here? That name sounds familiar," Pomfrey said. "Of course it sounds familiar," Professor Dedalus Diggle spoke up, sounding rather irritated, as if Madame Kokiri's identity should be common knowledge. "We have that entire shelf of books." He pointed to a row of volumes in the bookcase just behind Dumbledore's chair.
He had indicated the writings of a Professor Okino, some of whose books were required reading among the seniors at Hogwarts: "The Interactive Paradigm of Fairy Enchantment", "Witch Trials: Colossal Lies, Subtle Truths", and "Dragons as Theme and Meta-Theme", among others. He seemed to make a specialty of the history of magic and the interaction of magicians and Muggles.
"And this explains everything," Dumbledore nodded as he read the biographical information on Professor Okino. "He's married to Madame Kokiri."
"Where did you say they live, McGonagall?" Malfoy knew full well she hadn't said, but he already knew. He wanted to see her squirm.
"Well," she began nervously, "they're. . ." Her voice trailed off, muttering something unintelligible. "Come again?" McGonagall shrugged her shoulders, like a student caught in a forbidden corridor. "They're-on the Continent." Dumbledore didn't think any row could top the Muggle Studies argument, but at this news everyone started shouting at once. Even the ghosts were levitating. Nearly Headless Nick tried to clear his throat, which wasn't easy since it was separated from his neck. "In all my centuries, I cannot recall a time when the faculty was anything but British!"
"Quite true, but this is an emergency."
"You seriously wish to tender this Madame Kokiri a guest lectureship?" said Professor Diggle.
"Actually," Dumbledore interrupted, "I would recommend asking them both to come to Hogwarts."
"We don't have that kind of surplus in the budget, do we?" one of the Governors asked nervously.
Nearly Headless Nick tried to pound the table; being a ghost, his fist went through it instead. "The budget doesn't enter into it! They're not British!"
Dumbledore stood up. "As for the budget, I have a small sum set by. I would be willing to turn my salary for this year back to the board to use to bring these two to Hogwarts." This generosity was a gesture even the Governors could understand. They fell silent to hear the rest of what Dumbledore had to say. "We obviously can't let Herbology take care of itself for four months, as Professor Snape puts it. We need someone, and barring the unforeseen," (at this, the Divination Professor, Madam Sibyll Trelawney, cleared her throat a little too noisily), "this candidate seems excellent. And, given Professor Okino's field of study, we may finally get the Muggle Studies inquiry off to a proper start. In any event, for the few months that they're here, I seriously doubt that we'll overthrow all of our methods in favor of European magic, which, except for some details of formality, isn't so different from our ways in the first place."
This quieted most of the objections, but not all. "Do we know if she's ever taught anyone, anywhere?" Flitwick the Charms master asked.
"Actually, she will have followed the Continental tradition and instructed her daughter. She's in the picture, you'll notice." They all glanced back at the book jacket's picture of Professor Okino, who sported a bushy mustache and a dancing pair of eyes. His wife, Madame Kokiri, had long hair, dark Slavic eyes and an expression that was almost melancholic even when she smiled. Then there was their daughter Kiki, who looked to be about eleven when the picture was taken. Already wearing a witch's robes along with a large bow in her hair, she fidgeted as if she wanted to be anywhere except sitting for a photograph. "Is the daughter an Herbologist as well, Dumbledore?" asked Pomfrey.
"Actually, she's not. I met this family a few years ago, and have been keeping track of them. Kiki followed the Continental tradition of leaving home at age thirteen and making her own living by her magic. She's just spent her first year away. Now, I know that this will sound demeaning to some of you, but you must bear in mind that witches live openly in some communities on the Continent, without disguise or pretense."
"And we could stand to take a page from that book, I'm sure," Pomfrey put in. A few wizards jumped to their feet to shout her down.
"Can we please," interrupted Dumbledore, "get through one bit of business in this meeting without inducing a stroke? As I was saying, Kiki doesn't seem to have taken to Herbology as readily as her mother, but flight seems to be her forte. She's made her way starting an airborne parcel delivery service."
"But that's a job for, for OWLS!" sputtered an outraged Mhobhgurheihahn.
"Some small minds among us may think so," McGonagall responded, "but Barkleberry paints quite a different picture in her letter. It was an ingenious display of initiative, providing a fairly large city with what they needed but didn't have. And, though she started out working for a bakery, her clientele grew quite rapidly. Kiki's helped repair a clock- tower, she's delivered a whole band of instruments at one go, rescued a child drowning in the ocean. . ."
Lucius Malfoy rose. "As time is short and the proposed candidates seem eminently qualified, I move that Hogwarts extend an offer to both Okino and Kokiri."
It wasn't until after the vote had been taken that Pomfrey gave a yelp of surprise. "Oh my word! Dumbledore, look at his picture." "Eh? What about it?"
"It's. . .it's. . .NOT MOVING!"
Sure enough, Professor Okino's image sat perfectly still, looking out at the faculty.
"Then this means. . ." "Aye," McGonagall muttered sadly. "He's a-a Muggle."
"A Muggle to teach at Hogwarts? A Muggle from the Continent?!" "Why stop there?" Diggle muttered. "Let's get someone from, from . AMERICA!!"
Malfoy smiled to himself. One way or another, he would set his plan in motion. Rather, his Master's plan. One way or another. . .
***
Like it? I did. We need more writers like monkeymouse. . . Gonna put up s'more chapters now.
Disclaimer: I don't even own the plot.
This was not written by me. This was written by someone named monkeymouse on another fan fiction site. . . But I thought it was so cool that it should be on this site to. . . monkeymouse, if you ever read this you are an awesome writer!
A/N On FF.net, if I put three periods, it only turns out to be one period, so I'm going to try something with this to see if they come out . . . I hope it worked.
* * * *
The assembled faculty of Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry, plus its board of twelve Governors and the resident ghosts, met to discuss school business one week before the start of classes. The meeting was in a conference room near Headmaster Albus Dumbledore's office. (The only one who wasn't there was the new Defense Against the Dark Arts instructor, Gilderoy Lockhart. He was on a book promotion tour and wouldn't arrive until the first day of term.) The meeting had started with an hour's worth of fruitless discussion, which might have gone on for another hour when Dumbledore rose.
"Further debate seems unable to shed either light or heat on this question. Therefore I second the motion of my esteemed colleague Professor Severus Snape to table the discussion of a formal course of Muggle Studies until a date to be determined by the board, whilst retaining Muggle Studies as an elective at Hogwarts."
Lucius Malfoy, a particularly disagreeable Governor on the board and father of Draco Malfoy, an equally disagreeable student, smiled inwardly. He saw no reason for the school to waste time and resources by studying-as if such a thing could or should be studied-the non-magical world.
"Point of order! Point of order!" moaned a voice like a rusted hinge. It was Professor Binns, the History of Magic instructor and the only ghost on the faculty. "How can we deny our responsibility by ignoring a solution that is so close even I can almost touch it? Magic users and non-users have fraternized for centuries now; 'twas ever thus. . ."
"And evermore shall be so," Dumbledore interrupted. "Your point is taken, but there is a motion on the floor. . ."
Professor Binns seemed not to realize he had been interrupted. "And, left to themselves, these matters usually work themselves out perfectly well."
"Some would dispute that claim," interrupted the governor from Stonehenge, Llanfair Mhobhgurheihahn (which he pronounced "Moran").
Professor Minerva McGonagall rose at once. "Which makes it all the more important that somebody conduct some proper research!"
Dumbledore flourished his wand and lobbed a few fireballs, no bigger than pennies, to the center of the conference table. They exploded with no damage but a mighty flash of light. "May I have order please! We're not going over this battlefield again. There is a motion on the floor and it has been seconded; all in favor. . ."
The ayes had it, barely. Dumbledore desperately hoped that this Muggle problem would be the worst of it. After the previous year, with the arrival of both Harry Potter and his never-to-be-named nemesis, he thought that he deserved a quiet year.
So of course, the next thing that happened was that an owl crashed through the window. It was a large and muscular owl, as it had to be to break through that window in a single blow. It laid upon the table, panting like a marathon runner, a scroll still in its claw. "Mine, I think," said Professor Phyllida Sprout, the Herbology instructor. She was one of the most even-tempered, levelheaded members of the Hogwarts faculty, and it took a lot to fluster her. Which is why she surprised everyone when, having read half the message, she burst out "Oh dear!" and followed it up with "I'm taking a leave of absence from Hogwarts, effective at once. I'll be back in about two months, I hope, but don't count on me until after Christmas." With that, she was out the door. "What's that all about?" McGonagall asked. For answer, Dumbledore passed the scroll to her.
After looking it over for a minute, McGonagall explained to the others. "It's from her niece. She's with child, and wanted one last holiday in Majorca before the baby came. Unfortunately, no sooner does she get to Spain than she starts having trouble. I'll spare you the details. Anyway, the niece sends for Sprout; seems she doesn't trust the local practitioner, and wants family around in any case."
Snape stirred. "Why can't we just send her a get-well owl? The Herbology classes won't take care of themselves."
For the next few minutes they talked about how to fill in for Sprout. No teacher wanted to take on a second teaching load, and all the obvious choices were on research trips or sabbaticals or otherwise engaged.
Poppy Pomfrey, who ran the Infirmary, spoke up. "I don't have a teaching position, and I really don't know enough about plants to try to fill in for her there, but I'm sure I could step in as acting head of Hufflepuff House while Sprout's away."
"Very good of you," Dumbledore nodded.
"And speaking of Herbologists, weren't you telling me, McGonagall, about an owl you received the other day. . ." "Of course! I'm sure most of you remember Isolde Barkleberry. She was Prefect for the Hufflepuff girls a few years ago. Scored highest marks in a century in Herbology. I've often heard Sprout say that she hoped Barkleberry would take over the greenhouses here when Sprout's time came to step down."
"And we all hope that won't be for a long time to come," Dumbledore added, "but what have you heard from her?"
"She's been traveling the world as part of her University graduate studies. She's looking for a magic fertilizer even Muggles can use, in any climate. Says she wants to eliminate famine once and for all."
"And give all our secrets away," Snape muttered. "A laudable pursuit, but I still don't see. . ."
"Sorry, but I'm just coming to the point. She mentioned that she had recently met with a very gifted Herbalist; said she was the only one who could surpass even Sprout herself, and was very well versed in the old ways. Said her name was Madame Kokiri." "Was she a student here? That name sounds familiar," Pomfrey said. "Of course it sounds familiar," Professor Dedalus Diggle spoke up, sounding rather irritated, as if Madame Kokiri's identity should be common knowledge. "We have that entire shelf of books." He pointed to a row of volumes in the bookcase just behind Dumbledore's chair.
He had indicated the writings of a Professor Okino, some of whose books were required reading among the seniors at Hogwarts: "The Interactive Paradigm of Fairy Enchantment", "Witch Trials: Colossal Lies, Subtle Truths", and "Dragons as Theme and Meta-Theme", among others. He seemed to make a specialty of the history of magic and the interaction of magicians and Muggles.
"And this explains everything," Dumbledore nodded as he read the biographical information on Professor Okino. "He's married to Madame Kokiri."
"Where did you say they live, McGonagall?" Malfoy knew full well she hadn't said, but he already knew. He wanted to see her squirm.
"Well," she began nervously, "they're. . ." Her voice trailed off, muttering something unintelligible. "Come again?" McGonagall shrugged her shoulders, like a student caught in a forbidden corridor. "They're-on the Continent." Dumbledore didn't think any row could top the Muggle Studies argument, but at this news everyone started shouting at once. Even the ghosts were levitating. Nearly Headless Nick tried to clear his throat, which wasn't easy since it was separated from his neck. "In all my centuries, I cannot recall a time when the faculty was anything but British!"
"Quite true, but this is an emergency."
"You seriously wish to tender this Madame Kokiri a guest lectureship?" said Professor Diggle.
"Actually," Dumbledore interrupted, "I would recommend asking them both to come to Hogwarts."
"We don't have that kind of surplus in the budget, do we?" one of the Governors asked nervously.
Nearly Headless Nick tried to pound the table; being a ghost, his fist went through it instead. "The budget doesn't enter into it! They're not British!"
Dumbledore stood up. "As for the budget, I have a small sum set by. I would be willing to turn my salary for this year back to the board to use to bring these two to Hogwarts." This generosity was a gesture even the Governors could understand. They fell silent to hear the rest of what Dumbledore had to say. "We obviously can't let Herbology take care of itself for four months, as Professor Snape puts it. We need someone, and barring the unforeseen," (at this, the Divination Professor, Madam Sibyll Trelawney, cleared her throat a little too noisily), "this candidate seems excellent. And, given Professor Okino's field of study, we may finally get the Muggle Studies inquiry off to a proper start. In any event, for the few months that they're here, I seriously doubt that we'll overthrow all of our methods in favor of European magic, which, except for some details of formality, isn't so different from our ways in the first place."
This quieted most of the objections, but not all. "Do we know if she's ever taught anyone, anywhere?" Flitwick the Charms master asked.
"Actually, she will have followed the Continental tradition and instructed her daughter. She's in the picture, you'll notice." They all glanced back at the book jacket's picture of Professor Okino, who sported a bushy mustache and a dancing pair of eyes. His wife, Madame Kokiri, had long hair, dark Slavic eyes and an expression that was almost melancholic even when she smiled. Then there was their daughter Kiki, who looked to be about eleven when the picture was taken. Already wearing a witch's robes along with a large bow in her hair, she fidgeted as if she wanted to be anywhere except sitting for a photograph. "Is the daughter an Herbologist as well, Dumbledore?" asked Pomfrey.
"Actually, she's not. I met this family a few years ago, and have been keeping track of them. Kiki followed the Continental tradition of leaving home at age thirteen and making her own living by her magic. She's just spent her first year away. Now, I know that this will sound demeaning to some of you, but you must bear in mind that witches live openly in some communities on the Continent, without disguise or pretense."
"And we could stand to take a page from that book, I'm sure," Pomfrey put in. A few wizards jumped to their feet to shout her down.
"Can we please," interrupted Dumbledore, "get through one bit of business in this meeting without inducing a stroke? As I was saying, Kiki doesn't seem to have taken to Herbology as readily as her mother, but flight seems to be her forte. She's made her way starting an airborne parcel delivery service."
"But that's a job for, for OWLS!" sputtered an outraged Mhobhgurheihahn.
"Some small minds among us may think so," McGonagall responded, "but Barkleberry paints quite a different picture in her letter. It was an ingenious display of initiative, providing a fairly large city with what they needed but didn't have. And, though she started out working for a bakery, her clientele grew quite rapidly. Kiki's helped repair a clock- tower, she's delivered a whole band of instruments at one go, rescued a child drowning in the ocean. . ."
Lucius Malfoy rose. "As time is short and the proposed candidates seem eminently qualified, I move that Hogwarts extend an offer to both Okino and Kokiri."
It wasn't until after the vote had been taken that Pomfrey gave a yelp of surprise. "Oh my word! Dumbledore, look at his picture." "Eh? What about it?"
"It's. . .it's. . .NOT MOVING!"
Sure enough, Professor Okino's image sat perfectly still, looking out at the faculty.
"Then this means. . ." "Aye," McGonagall muttered sadly. "He's a-a Muggle."
"A Muggle to teach at Hogwarts? A Muggle from the Continent?!" "Why stop there?" Diggle muttered. "Let's get someone from, from . AMERICA!!"
Malfoy smiled to himself. One way or another, he would set his plan in motion. Rather, his Master's plan. One way or another. . .
***
Like it? I did. We need more writers like monkeymouse. . . Gonna put up s'more chapters now.