It had been a rough week for Tim McGee. It all started on Monday when the heater in his car decided it wouldn't work during the coldest week in this winter season. Then on Tuesday, while leaving a crime scene, a car drove by and splashed him with a melted snow puddle, leaving him cold, and in an NCIS jump suit for the rest of the day. On Wednesday nothing remarkably awful happened. However, Thursday was the worst day of all. McGee had arrived home from a tiring day at work, to find his apartment half empty. There was a note on the table, apparently Delilah couldn't handle their relationship any longer, and wanted to find her own way. Now it was Friday. The case was over, and so was this terrible week, and needless to say Tim was not feeling any better.
Being the ever astute and clever agent, Tony DiNozzo realized his Probie was down in the dumps. The Senior Field Agent figured that McGoo was just waking up on the wrong side of the bed, or perhaps the shift to the extreme cold was messing with his mood. It was surely giving Tony the winter blues. It wasn't until that morning when Tim had confessed that Delilah had broken up with him and skipped town that he realized how absolutely, positively, utterly, shitty McGee's week had been. So at the end of the day Tony wheeled himself over to his partner's desk, via swivel chair, and proposed the best idea of all time.
"Really Tony…going to bars," Tim huffed, "Do you really think that's helping?"
"It's the best way I can think to help after the week you've had!" DiNozzo smiled, looking at his now annoyed Probie, "Come on Tiny Tim, one drink, and some manly conversation. You know, just shoot the shit. I promise it'll do you some good."
"No Tony," he responded curtly.
"It'll keep your mind off of things at least," the senior agent sighed, "You've got to admit, anything is better than going home alone."
McGee grimaced, he hate it when his partner was right, "Fine one drink, but that's all."
Tony gave one loud clap, and was to the elevator before Tim could even gather his things.
The two agents drove out into the snowy night to one of the bars close to the Navy Yard. It wasn't too loud or too boring, but just the right for two friends grabbing a drink over conversation. However, one drink turned into two, and two in to four, and as the conversation moved from small talk to social, the more Tony and Tim drank. And then there was nothing. A few hours later the intoxicated men found themselves in a nearby park, backs flat against the powdery snow, making angels, laughing like bastards.
Tony sat up, "McGoober, he slurred, "You've got to make the wings even. Your left one is bigger than your right. Your poor angel is going to be flying in circles."
"Wait what?" McGee sat up, spinning a bit, looking at the sloppily done snow art, "How did I mess up this bad?"
"I mean, it's not awful," the older agent giggled, "just a little crooked…and wiggly…you know?"
Tim sighed, running his hands over his face, "Tony do you know what this is?"
"A really bad attempt at snow angels?" DiNozzo narrowed his eyes trying to think very hard.
"No, it's…it's a metaphor of my life, all screwed up and wrecked," he sighed, throw a pile of snow over it.
"Wha…" Tony raised a brow.
"Why does everything have to turn out so crappy," a drunk McGee bit his lower lip trying not to cry.
"Whoa, whoa there little buddy," his partner crawled towards him sloshing snow in every direction, "What's going on."
"Delilah," Tim exhaled, a tear rolling down his cheek, "I mean how could she just leave me? Tony, I did everything right. I wasn't afraid, I waited the appropriate amount of time for every damn milestone, I let her live with me, I took care of her, and then, BAM, just gone. How is that supposed to make me feel?! I'm just going to be alone forever."
Tony sat back on his heels, a lump forming in his throat, "Well, hey at least you can say you took those steps with someone, and tried to not be alone. I'm so afraid of being alone that I couldn't even commit to someone."
McGee, fell back into the pile of snow, looking up to the sky, "What are we even doing?"
"I wish I knew, Probie," The senior agent followed his lead, there was silence for a while, "If it makes a difference, I think you're too good for Delilah."
"What?!" the younger agent snorted in laughter.
"Seriously, if Wheels isn't smart enough to realize that she's got the greatest, catch this side of cyberspace, than her hard drive is corrupt."
"What…?" McGee narrowed his eyes in confusion.
"I'm sorry," Tony burped quietly, "I thought if I spoke computer it would make you feel better…did it work?"
"Kind of…so you don't think it's…me?'" Tim asked.
"What! No! You treated her like a queen, and she left! Totally her!" DiNozzo exclaimed.
"Ya," he sat up, "it's not my fault, not my fault at all! And for the record, you're too good for Ziva!"
'Whoa, you take that back!" Tony shot up getting very dizzy, "She's perfect!"
"Please!" McGee threw his hands in the air, "You see her through rose colored glasses, and she left you like Delilah left me!"
"No," the Senior Field Agent sighed, "That on me Probie, I waited too long. Then that ship sailed."
"Still, she liked you and left you," Tim's eyes narrowed, "Like she didn't even give you a chance to fix things! And look you're giving her all this time to fix everything."
"I mean, I guess…girls, they just suck," he sighed. There was more silence.
"Hey Tony, can I tell you something?" the younger agent turned to look at him, "I know you've got lots of friends, but you're my best friend."
"Yes, I do have lots of friends," Tony agreed, "But you're my best friend too."
"Serious?!" McGee shot back in shock.
"Totally, serious!" DiNozzo nodded vigorously!
"Like how serious!?" Tim asked.
"Like if I were going to get matching tattoos with anybody, it'd be you," he paused for a moment, "Oh my God…let's get friendship tattoos."
His partner sighed, "I can't. I'm allergic to the ink in tattoos."
"But wat about the one you got to impress Abby?!" Tony asked, "Best Friend did you lie to me?!"
"Yes, but only because I kind of wanted you to think I was cool," McGee shrugged.
"Probie…no matter what you do…I will never…ever…think you're cool!" Tony laughed, "But that doesn't mean you're not my best friend."
"Well, thanks Tony…" Tim was cut off by a quick siren.
"Don't worry I've got this," The senior agent stood, "What seems to be the problem…Mr. Officer."
"What are you gentlemen doing? The park is closed," the cop shined his flash light at them, "Have you boys been drinking."
"Just a bit," Tony slurred, "You see sir, we're federal agents working an undercover case as bar flies. Just playing the part."
"May I see some ID?" the officer asked.
"Of course," Tony handed over his badge without hesitation.
"Ahem," the cop cleared his throat as he motioned his partner to come forward, "This says that you, sir, are a Federal Boob Inspector…"
A snort of laughter came from the ground, "Boob…he said boob." McGee whispered, only causing Tony to giggle.
It was three in the morning when Leroy Jethro Gibbs got a call from a highly intoxicated Tony to pick him and McGee up from the station. When he got there he saw the two agents, sopping wet, from head to toe, behind a cell.
"Look!" DiNozzo exclaimed, "I told you he'd come, Probie! You didn't believe me, but look who's here."
Gibbs sighed ushering them out of the cell and into his car. This was going to be a long night with a lot of explaining to do.
The next morning Tony DiNozzo opened his eyes to find that he was in a strange room, in a stranger's clothes, sleeping next to…McGee! He let out a shocked yelp. McGee's eyes shot open as let out a similar scream.
"Oh good, up on your own. Time for work, case reopened" Gibbs sighed, "Clothes should be dry now. Get dressed."
The two agents slowly went to separate rooms to change, completely unaware of how the reached their current location. Tony was ready first and joined his boss at the kitchen table for dry toast and coffee. He tried to apologize, but the boss simply raised his hand. McGee emerged from the hallway rubbing his temple. Gibbs offered him some toast.
"No thanks, boss," he replied, "I don't even think I could stomach that."
"Rough morning McBarfbag?" Tony chuckled.
"At least he made it out of the car to the bathroom, DiNozzo," Gibbs looked up from his paper. Tim chuckled quietly.
After a quick apology for the car vomit, the trio was off to work. Arriving just a touch late, and completely embarrassed, both Tony and McGee took their seats. Gibbs went upstairs to talk to the director.
"Carpooling?" Bishop asked from across the room.
"Ya, trying to be green!" McGee gave her a tired smiled, "Trying to lessen our carbon foot print."
"And Gibbs is involved?" Ellie laughed with disbelief.
"We bought his coffee with the savings," Tony itched his half open eyes.
"Oh, ok," she nodded, "Just one more question!"
"What's up?" the senior agent turned his head.
"Why did I get a voicemail from McGee, asking to pick you guys up from the police station, with Tony shouting in the background, 'No Bishop he's my best friend you can't have him?'" a devious grin played on Ellie's face as she awaited her answer.
With a snap of their heads, Tony and McGee turned to each other. What had happened last night?