Title: Of Light and Dark
By: Amanda
Feedback: sweety167yahoo.ca
Rating: Strong PG-13
Disclaimer: I'm just playing with JK Rowling's toys. I promise to put them back when I'm done, whenever that is.
Spoilers: Deathly Hallows!
Pairing: Lily/Severus
Summary: Lily dabbles in dark things.
Completed: August 15, 2007
Notes: The Latin says "Feel Dark". Also, this goes along, in a way, with a piece written a while ago: Secrets. This, I should think, is Lily's secret.
"Why do I think I should be quoting Macbeth?" Lily commented, peering into the cold, dark cauldron hanging over an unlit fireplace.
Severus turned from the supply-closet to question her with a raised eyebrow. A skill he had long since mastered.
She sighed, "It's a Muggle play, by the greatest Muggle playwright, William Shakespeare."
He still had no idea who or what she was referring to.
"It's famous for having a trio of witches in it," she shrugged, knowing the conversation was dead long before it started.
"Honestly Lily," he hopped off the step stool, "When are you going to let go of the whole Muggle thing?"
"I don't know Severus," she crossed her arms over her chest and leaned against a stone pillar, trying to fight the smirk pulling at her lips, "I've been rather attached to it for the last fourteen years or so."
He flashed her a rare, yet stretched, smile; "It's time for better things."
She returned the smile with much more ease, "So you keep telling me. But what exactly are we doing lurking around the potions classroom anyway?"
"Privacy," he stated simply.
They were a pair of the few students still at Hogwarts over the Winter break. Severus would much rather remain at the school year round anyway, but Lily was forced to stay behind. Her sister Petunia had the measles, and there was no way to cure herself while at home if she became sick. Avoiding the whole thing was much easier. Easier on her, and ultimately easier on Petunia. (Secretly, she hated her sister for making her miss out on home cooked meals and Christmas morning with the family.)
Severus' eyes darted from one dark corner to the other; "You know that thing we've talked about trying?"
Lily raised an eyebrow, "Wasn't that just talk?" Not that she hadn't always been curious. Not that she wasn't even more curious since Professor Slughorn showed her that snake skinned spell-book. But wasn't it just talk, like Potter and his pals' musings on what ultimate prank to pull? No, they always pulled one.
Severus just waited, giving her a chance to answer her own question.
Choices would have to be made.
A smile pulled at the corner of her mouth, and mischief sparkled in her green eyes, "Okay, let's do it!"
They placed a cauldron with its collection of potion supplies and the snake skinned book (Lily had watched were Professor Slughorn had hidden it) on the floor. Far enough from the small window in the door to be out of the line of vision. Far enough away to hide from the light. But close enough to run. Close enough to have a way out.
They were well covered in that regard.
Lily cracked the book; an electric thrill shot up through her fingers. A raw, living power seemed to seep out of the book. The words seemed to breath with their own life. She was struck with a sense of awe and wonder, one she hadn't really felt since she realised that she could manipulate the flowers in the park.
"Page twenty," Severus instructed as he settled on the floor across from her.
"Tactus Obscurus," Lily read from the page, the curiosity colouring her voice with an awed whisper. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end. Her heart was slamming against her chest.
Nimbly, he filled the cauldron as she read the incantation. She watched as his fingers trembled slightly, barely visible in the low light. Her own voice cracked as she read the last words, and flicked her wand. It was good to know they were both feeling the same awkward thrill.
The energy in the room shifted.
The air changed. It became thicker and heavier. The room was alive: reflecting in the glow of her green eyes, making her hair burn red. Severus' skin glowed.
She felt bigger, stronger, and more capable than ever before. It was addictive as it coiled around her and crawled through her. Lighting up her whole body, her whole being.
Severus was caught in the same whirl of energy. His grey eyes lit-up like silver. His hands bracing himself against the floor.
The magic twisted and slithered around them. Circling them like prey.
Suddenly. "We have to stop." (She didn't want to, but knew it wasn't her place to continue.)
"Why?" Severus took a moment to focus.
Lily was panting, "It's…it's too much."
He creased his brow, but she shook her head, and with a flick of her wand she ended it.
The dark energy receded back with a quiet pop.
"Why?" his breathing was ragged in the how quiet, and empty feeling room.
"Too powerful," she shook her head again, staggering to her feet. Light headed but heavy, like drowning. She clenched onto the edge of nearest table.
Severus climbed to his feet after her. His dark eyes burned with a new lust; and Lily was sure if she looked, her eyes were burning too.
He was fuming; "I can't be anything without that. Everyone sees me as nothing!"
An appetite had awakened. It roared in both of them. An appetite that she never knew she had, and now she was starved for it. It scared her.
"Not everyone."
"Who?" he now seemed rejected by the spell ending. Venerable even, with his arms tight across his chest and his legs wobbling. Weakened. Saddened. Desperate.
"The people who matter," the blood had almost stopped rushing in her ears. She could almost think clearly. Almost. Almost forget that tingle at the base of her skull.
He let out an exaggerated sigh, the kind he used when she showed her Gryffindor nature. A sign of frustration, and a she suspected, irritation. "I'll never feel like this," he outstretched his arms to encompass the room, the magic, the power – everything.
And Lily understood. The same heady sensation had coursed through her body, was still licking at her flesh. And she felt that same panic. The panic of never tasting that again. Never experiencing that much of a rush.
"Never," Severus was adamant, "without it."
"You will," she reached for his wrist. She had to believe it too. Convince them both of it. Be sure she would have it again.
He snapped at her, "How?"
Lily closed the gap between them in one step, pressing her full, soft lips to the thin line of his mouth. She cupped her hands around his jaw, pressing them together closer, tighter.
An electric thrill shot through her fingers. Raw, living power.
Soon, his long fingers were clenching her waist, his mouth seeking more of hers. His tongue prodding entrance into the warm confines of her mouth. Her opening so willingly to him.
Suddenly, he pushed her back.
She struggled to breathe. To keep her footing. To keep her head. To wrap her head around why he had pushed her away.
His eyes darkened. The appetite was still baring its teeth at her from behind his eyes, snarling and snapping at being denied, again. But there was something else too, something he was fighting against. Fighting for. "Too much," he hissed out, twisting her earlier words. Making an attempt to lash out at her.
Her tongue darted out to lick at her swollen lips as she uncoiled herself from him. "Too powerful," she agreed, but felt unsure as to what she was agreeing to.
He scoffed and turned away from her. Breaking the pull, the connection. Lily swayed.
"You'd better run back up to the tower," his shoulders slumped.
"But..." she reached for him, but stopped herself. It was wrong for her to keep reaching and she knew it, underneath the thick throbbing of her skull, she knew she needed to distance herself.
"You don't want to get caught down here," Severus turned toward her sharply; something sad drifted across his eyes. Realisation. The pieces clicked into place. He knew. "Who knows what trouble you'd get into."
Choices were made.
End.