Authors Note: EXTREMELY Headcanon-y backstory I've made up for Chara. Probably gonna be OOC, and I'm not exactly the most confident of writers so in my eyes its likely very badly written. Sorry. Updates will be slow.

Undertale does not belong to me, it belongs to Toby Fox.

Also rated M for swearing, slight gore in later chapters, and mentions of child abuse and Animal cruelty...and just a generally dark and murderous attitude sprinkled with random fluff? Seriously, its probably gonna be bad xD

Chapter One

Forsaken/Macabre

Antipathy

Noun

"A Deep seated feeling of dislike; Aversion."

Synonym - Antagonism

She doesn't really feel alone, not in her own home. Too many occupants, too little space, a cluster fuck of people enough to make her hate even the sound of 'home.' She knows she can leave any time she wants. There are other places she can be, her mothers for one, though the thought of traveling halfway across the country to stay with the wicked old bitch isn't at all appealing. No, its easier to stay put and keep her head down; the less attention she attracts the better.

This village - really just an informal gathering of people in the center of a large town - is a notorious den of pill heads and criminals alike. She stays away from them as best she can but its not easy when thats 80% of the town itself. The smell alone of this retched place is enough to drive her mad, always, always the stench of unwashed bodies and vomit in the air. No matter where she goes she can't escape it.

Chara lives in a apartment building of a sorts, if it were still the 1800s she might have called it a tenement but modern times have given it a more appealing name. Its still the same idea, a ton of people packed into a small building, paying rent out the wazoo just so they can stay close to work (and the drugs, but thats something only spoken about in hushed whispers.)

She hates it, everyone knows it. And for some reason they hate her. But its enough just to know that she is hated, she doesn't need to know the reason. Somewhere deep she knows why, knows that its because of all the things she has done.

It started as small things. Kicking a puppy, punching her sister, getting into it with a friend. It continued on, and on until the things she did wrong began to really worry people. Strangling a schoolyard bully to near death on her first day of second grade was the straw that broke the camels back. Her father - if one could in good conscious call him that - took it into his own hands to whip her into shape.

For the first few months she fought back, clawed and bit her way to even more punishment. Drawing blood just for the sake of seeing it drip from open wounds. He thought he could beat the demons out of her, he didn't know it only made them stronger. Chara knew though, she always knew.

There was only one thing that made it all better for Chara; the flowers. Beautiful golden flowers had made their home in the village. Stifled somewhat by the air pollution but she knew the locations of all the untouched fields where they grew by the dozens. Chara spent her time among the flowers, laying in the fields and staring up into the sky.

Sometimes she would stay out all night, daydreaming of a better place. A place where she wouldn't have to be afraid of every wrong move. Where she could tame her demons on her own, or perhaps let them grow. She never could quell the urges inside of her, screaming to cause chaos. To use her fists, nails, anything she could get her hands on to destroy everything. She once stood in the kitchen of her apartment for hours, staring at the knife in her hands, waiting for the right moment to use it - but begging herself to stop and think about it - she wanted to see his blood in that moment, her father deserved it more than anyone else.

Chara barely stopped herself that day.

She doesn't always want to hurt others, but its an overwhelming urge that haunts her mind enough to be a problem. She used to take it out on small animals, cats mainly, they were easy enough to get a hold of. But those days of mindlessly torturing animals have long passed - they can't fight back, and that left a sour taste in her mouth most times. Besides, they weren't the ones she hated...no, they didn't even come close to her true targets.

Humans, like herself, they were the root of every single one of her problems. She hated them, she hated being one of them, and everything inside of her screamed to destroy them.

Her demons...are strong, she hopes she can be stronger.

Before things got bad in her life Chara knew what it was to be loved. After all her life did not begin this bad. Maybe thats what makes it so much worse. The change from a loving life to one full of hatred and enough anger to make her want to slaughter an entire village. An eight year old child, wanting to murder...

"Theres something wrong with me," Chara says. She twirls a fallen flower petal between her forefinger and thumb. Laying flat on the dirty ground staring up at the night sky. She loves this time of night the most. Most of the lights have been turned out, allowing for the stars to shine that much brighter. She can see the constellations easily at this time, and any other time she enjoys herself by examining each one and remembering their names.

Tonight though she just stares, humming softly to herself. Shes been thinking about it for a few days now, this sudden clarity something she isn't quite used to. Her head is usually much more foggy-fuzzy, filled with random thoughts and memories; most of all the intrusive thoughts that plague her at all times.

'Hurt that person.'

'Stab her with your fork.'

'Strangle him in his sleep.'

Her brain a mess of thoughts that she doesn't particularly want, or act on. So its unusual to say the least that she can think so clearly now. And it makes everything seem a thousand times worse. She knows, that there is something deeply wrong with her. Maybe a deformity - she remembers learning about those in health class - or a mental disorder? She thinks those might run in her family. Her mother had always displayed the signs of depression, and her older sister is a walking zombie too. 'It must be something like that.' she thinks to herself. Lets the petal slip from between her fingers.

'Yeah, It has to be that.' She thinks that it can't possibly just be her fault.

Its on her ninth birthday when he dies of an overdose, its a joyful day for her, while everyone else grieves. 'He was too young!' or 'His poor children, they'll be so alone.' They would say. Chara couldn't contain her joy when she got the news, delivered via her crying Aunt Judy - her fathers sister to be precise. She smiles so wide, and laughs until there are tears and the look on her Aunts face - Priceless!

"You really are a monster," Aunt Judy says, grabbing her roughly by the arm. And even though there will be bruises later Chara still can't help but smile, and laugh. She would sing if she could, or do a dance, but then more attention would be drawn to her and she isn't quite that insane. She still has enough self preservation to avoid that, and ducks her head when the inevitable stares start turning towards her.

Judy couldn't have picked a better place to do this. Chara had been spending her afternoon tending to the meager garden nearby the Community Library, a job she took upon herself to pass the time, as well as the help the elderly librarian who had in recent years fallen too sickly to tend to it herself - and Chara certainly did not do this out of the goodness of her heart. She likes the flowers, and she likes the pocket money she gets from the Librarian every week too.

"Right, thats exactly what I am." Chara agrees with Judy, grinning childishly. Her sides aching from the pressure of laughing so hard. She would laugh more if she could, just at the sight of Judy's bright red face. "Come on you damn brat," Judy hisses, tugging sharply on Chara's arm. It sends a shock of pain skittering up to her shoulder, but Chara bites back a yelp and follows after Judy without protest.

Aunt Judy leads her to the waiting car, practically throwing her into the backseat. Like shes nothing, like Judy has the right to touch her like that. Chara's anger rises steadily, with every passing second but she squashes down the urges that accompany it. Judy slides into the drivers seat and proceeds to blast the stereo to drown out any potential talk between them. Just as well, Chara would rather take this time to think. Eight years of this crap, and shes finally free. Its utterly amazing...

But its also on some level bad news. With her father dead and no other relatives other than Judy living in the village shes likely to be shipped off to her mothers. Which she would rather at all costs avoid. Getting out of one bad situation just to go into another...no, she'd rather that didn't happen. Though she isn't quite sure how shes going to avoid it.

Running away perhaps...she had always thought about it in the past. It had always been an option, but she knew without the resources and skill she would never make it out there on her own. She couldn't even get a job due to stupid child labor laws so it was unlikely that she would last long on her own. Chara laughs, drawing a judging look from her Aunt through the rear-view mirror.

Chara smiles at her, the picture of childish innocence.

Course Judy has no reason or right to judge Chara, not when shes stood back just like everyone else all these years and let that man do those things to her. Never once did Judy make a move to stop her brother, and she knew about everything - everything that went on in their apartment. Hell, her siblings knew too, Chara isn't so sure that theres a single person out there that couldn't see the evidence. Whether it be the bruises and burns on her skin or the scratches and bites on his. At least nobody could say she didn't fight back.

'Oh well,' she sighs. Its over now, for better or for worse hes going to be six feet under soon. Even if her freedom is short lived, shes going to take advantage of every second of it. 'I wonder if it'll be an open casket.'

Authors Note: There you have it, the beginning to a very strange and probably not at all cannon compliant story...whew. Anyway I promise I don't do this whole wall of text thing too often, usually theres a lot more dialogue but I didn't have much use for it in this beginning sequence. Hope you guys like it at least! Look for the next chap in a couple hours i'm in the process of writing it.

Also I have a little bit of a weird chapter system that I use. Ever chapter has two titles, but usually they have the SAME two titles and the first title is one chapter and the other is the other chapter so-on and so-forth. I write the chapters together as one whole and basically just split them up and keep the titles for both mashed together. Its weird but it makes sense in my head.