Title: I am only ME when I am with …you.
Summary: A moment from Snape's childhood. When was he really himself? When he was with her. That is when. Really sweet, please read.
Disclaimer: Things like this can only be thought by Jo. No kidding. But this little incident is purely fiction and created by me. ;)
On a starry night, in the summer of Snape's fourth year…
Severus Snape lay on the grass with his best friend, Lily Evans; with the radio crackling in the background. He could be found chatting up a storm with her, while her sweet laughter could be heard easily by a jealous Petunia; Snape was animatedly narrating a hilarious incident that happened with the Raveclaws back in Christmas when he suddenly found himself staring into her vivid green eyes, and felt his breath being taken away.
….Did she know what she meant to him? He didn't know, but under all of the peer pressure, and the pressure of the OWLs that they were going to take this year; plus the tension between his parents was frustrating, and the only comfort he got was from her company…
With her, he didn't need to pretend to love the Dark Arts when he was with her, like his fellow Slytherins expected him to. Or to be a Death Eater and join the Dark Lord. The very thought sent him shivering. It scared him a bit…to kill those who wished to follow the good, to kill the Muggle-borns…to kill Gryffindors…; for Lily showed him that there could be a relationship between a Gryffindor and a Slytherin, and somewhere in his heart he hoped that there was a future for this bond.
He didn't want to become a Death Eater because if he did, that would mean putting Lily in danger, and he would never, ever do anything to harm her. Ever.
("And here, we present a song by the famous American singer, Taylor Swift! Enjoy, people, 'I'm only me when I'm with you' " blared the radio.)
Friday night beneath the stars,
In a field behind your yard,
You and I are paintin' pictures in the sky.
And sometimes we don't say a thing;
Just listen to the crickets sing.
Everything I need is right here by my side.
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you.
I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.
Just a small town boy and girl
Livin' in a crazy world.
Tryin' to figure out what is and isn't true.
And I don't try to hide my tears.
The secrets are my deepest fears.
Through it all nobody gets me like you do.
And you know everything about me.
You say you can't live without me…
"Sev," she whispered softly to him.
"Yeah…?" he replied, his heart thumping.
She moved closer to him, her soft hands engulfing his hard ones as she enveloped him in a tight hug.
"What was that for?" Sev asked, surprised.
"Never leave me?" she begged softly.
"You know I will never, Lils. Ever."
She smiled at him tearfully, and nodded at him happily, and gave him another warm hug.
"Why are you asking me that, though?"
"Because…one day…we too will be forced with the choice. The choice of who we are gonna follow. And the choices we make will affect this relationship…" She replied softly.
"Lils, Lils…" he sighed and rubbed her back softly.
"Just remember, Lily, if you are not there, then there is no point in me living either…"
Lily chuckled a little, laughing his confession away; obviously she didn't believe him. But what he had said was true.
He woke up everyday because she was in his life. Without her…even a fourteen year old Severus understood what would happen:
his life would be over. There would be no point in living…
"Well, I owe a LOT to you. I mean, without you, there would be nobody to really listen to me, you know? Petunia…she is just too…jealous," Snape gave her hand a comforting squeeze as she continued, "and mom and dad are just too…enthralled by the fact that I could do magic. It is a bit crazy the way they act," Lily laughed nervously.
"So, it's only you who really cares to listen to what I have to say. Thanks for that, Sev. Thanks so much. And…I want you to know that there is no way I could live without you, too. You are my best friend and everything that I need and want…" she lean over and for the first time in his life, Lily Evans kissed him lightly on his cheek, and then smiled at him.
Severus gaped at her, and grinned a bit goofily, trying hard to not look like an idiot. Only Lily could bring out this side of him, this silly, lover boy Severus that only Potter, according to Sev, had the right to.
Speaking of Potter…
"You know, back in May, I heard Potter and Black talking….they were talking about you…" Severus began, hesitant.
"Yeah…?" Lily cautiously asked him.
"They well, Potter, actually, was saying that well, uh, uhm, er…"
"Sev…" she prompted him.
"That, well, they, look, please listen to me, Lily. You will always take care of yourself?" Sev asked her anxiously.
"Yes, of course, I will, Sevvy, what is wrong?"
"I don't know…I don't trust that Potter, that is all."
"Aww yeah, I know what you mean, he is such a jerk," she agreed.
Severus nodded enthusiastically and kept saying, "yep, that's right." as Lily flew into yet another of her rants about Potter and his gang.
I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me when I'm with you.
When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself.
Only you can tell.
He sadly wished for the zillionth time that she was in Slytherin with him; she would have taught the Slytherins to be a bit more like them and not boast so extravagantly.
He chuckled lightly, remembering something that Bellatrix Black, a second year, had been saying back in April.
"I am going to be the Dark Lord's closest companion. He will wish no other to come to him, just me. ME! And, you know what? The Dark Lord might even consider me his best friend. His bestest friend," she had cried in her shrill, childish voice to an audience of awed first and second years.
But Lily was not in Slytherin, and that meant feeling out of place in that hellhole. Feeling disgust for the people that were supposed to be your 'friends'. Feeling as the depression slowly settled in; being terrorized by the image of Potter and Lily together; or any other guy with Lily for that matter, but Potter was his main 'competition'.
That bighead was better than him at …everything. Girls, Quidditch, school. And he was good looking too. Oh yes, he was. But, yet, Lily liked Severus more than him, something that spread a warm glow in his body and gave him hope.
She had chosen him.
He grinned softly, and turned to Lily Evans, feeling the comfort he felt when he was with her, the feeling that somebody cared.
'I love you…' he sighed to himself dreamily as he quietly watched her eyes sparkle mischievously as she animatedly told him some funny incident that happened with Petunia the other day.
That I'm only up when you're not down.
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground.
It's like no matter what I do.
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true.
And I'm only me …
Who I wanna be…
"I'm only me when I'm with you, Lil…" Snape whispered softly to her, his voice barely audible.
Lily smiled comfortingly at him, and gave him another peck on his cheek.
Well, I'm only me when I'm with you!
Author's Note: Well, how was it, my sweet pumpkins? Nice? I hope so. I feel like there is something missing in this story. Maybe you could suggest it to me and tell me how you found it?
Truth be admitted, I am not all that satisfied with it… So, I do need to know how you found it.
My first try at Lily/Severus and truthfully, my heart was churning with pity for Sev. Oh, HOW, HOW could I have hated him for six books? He deserves love, and that was something he never got. Yet, he never became Lord Voldemort. :D And I love him because of that.
I didn't try to make him Mr. Deep because a 14 year old Sev may have been more mature than his peers, (like James and Sirius, haha) but he still was a teen, with the same teen age feelings and hopes and dreams (though they were the dreams and hopes and stuff of a teenage wizard…) I sincerely hope you liked it, and thanks for reading.
ENOUGH of my rambling, you all ramble in your reviews now. Tell me how you found it. Please?
Thanks,
Ginny.
PS: I am only me When I am with You. By Taylor Swift who sang this song in 2006 while this story is based in the 70's or 60's, I know, but please ignore that little flaw. )