Not My Intention
An Anne of Green Gables FanFiction
Solemn Vocation
Anne loved Gilbert with all her heart, had known it since he walked her home all those years ago, the day she forgave him. She tries to hide it, remaining friendly but aloof whenever he's around. Gilbert takes this the wrong way and believes that she cannot, and will not, ever care for him. Now, they go off to Redmond, and Anne tries to express her feelings, only to find that he's courting Christine Stewart! Can she show him how she truly feels, or is he gone forever?
I do not own Anne of Green Gables or any of its characters. RIP L.M. Montgomery
Part I
WE BEGIN at Green Gables, Anne's eighteenth summer. She sits in a huge birch tree, imagining. Gilbert Blythe comes through the front gate and announces his presence, Anne oblivious to his arrival.
Summer was here. It showed its presence in the very air, for if you stepped outside, you would feel warm and loved in an instant. The sun gave generous amounts of light and graced the world with a sense of freedom, of happiness. Anne loved it, although she wasn't always conscious of it. Mostly, she sat daydreaming, or reading a book. Marilla sometimes worried that she'd catch her death of the heat, but then again, Anne was so cheery, so perfectly wonderful, that it was inconceivable that anything unfortunate should every happen to her.
One afternoon, when the sun was starting to relent early, Anne saddled herself on a rather large branch in her favorite birch tree and quietly sat, imagining of things. She was not fully aware that at that moment, in the front gate was coming Gilbert Blythe, her old chum, with something terribly bothersome, at least to her, on his mind.
"Good afternoon, Ms. Cuthbert," the boy said politely to Marilla as he walked through the front door. Marilla smiled. She thoroughly approved of Gilbert and his visits, so of course she didn't mind when he waltzed uninvited into her home. He always knocked first though, which she always thought an admirable quality. Better to at least forewarn those inside before coming in than just showing up.
"Hello, Gilbert. How are you this fine day?" she asked him. He shrugged and shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "I'm all right, ma'am. Is Anne here?" Marilla's face began to twitch, so she abruptly turned around to the sink. "She's outside," was the only answer she could give him. She would not let her voice betray her. Unfortunately for young Gil, Marilla's reaction brought a sense of dread to him. He knew she suspected why he was here, and obviously, she wasn't happy about it. He thanked her, but then hurried though the back door and outside.
Marilla thought it funny that Gilbert should always ask for Anne whenever he came to Green Gables. She knew his intentions, and found nothing wrong with them, but it was always humorous how the boy acted. He blushed whenever he said Anne's name, and he was nervous when talking about her around others, like he was afraid of something. Marilla always tried not to laugh, but it was very hard.
Gil walked across the lawns of Green Gables, his hands shoved into his pockets. Where was Anne this fine day? She'd talked of Idlewild in her youth, but did she go there nowadays? Plus, how was he going to break the news to her? What would she say? Unfortunately, poor Gilbert had not the time to think through exactly how he was to say what was on his mind, for Anne Shirley had just noticed his presence and decided to announce hers.
"Good afternoon, Gil Blythe," she said with a smile. Gilbert beamed back. How he loved that smile she flashed! It made her eyes, b beautiful grey eyes, sparkle in the sun…he realized that he was staring and abruptly cleared his throat. "Good afternoon, Anne with an 'E'," he replied.
Anne laughed. "Oh, Gilbert, how pleased I am that you've kept to that all these years. I was beginning to think everyone had forgotten the spelling of my name." Gilbert positively flushed. "Yes, well, it isn't hard to remember your name, Anne Shirley. You do leave a lasting impression."
Anne was screaming with delight inside, but on the outside she turned crisp. "Come, Gil, enough of the flattery and regal greetings. Let's have some fun before I leave for Redmond." She grabbed his arm and pulled him into the woods. Marilla, watching from the kitchen, smiled warmly. She would have made a comment to herself at that moment, but Davy and Dora burst into the kitchen at that moment and bombarded her with tales of their day. She sighed, but promised herself that she'd listen attentively to these little creatures.
Meanwhile, our friends Anne and Gilbert were walking through the woods companionably, Anne having let go of his arm as soon as she'd found her way into the woods. They talked quietly, but mostly walked in silence, admiring the vegetation and bird calls. Finally, Gilbert decided to speak.
"Anne," he whispered. "Hmm?" She wasn't paying close attention, rather fond of a certain apple which hung from a branch on the nearest tree. Gil plunged ahead. "I meant to tell you earlier, but it's official now. I'm going to Redmond with you."
Anne had lunged for the apple, sure that she could grab it, but upon hearing that statement she fell flat on her face in the dirt. Gilbert, concerned rushed to her side. "Anne, are you all right? Can you hear me?"
"Goodness, Gil, don't be so worried, I've fallen loads of times," she muttered, ignoring the hand he offered and pulling herself off of the dirty ground. Smoothing her skirt, she looked him right in the eye and said, "You're going to Redmond?" He nodded. "Yes, Anne. It will be great fun, I'm sure, although don't get me wrong, I plan to study hard of course. Perhaps I'll be able to see you there?"
Anne looked off into the distance, her eyes getting that misty look. Gil was coming to Redmond? My, that was a surprise. In truth, she'd always been secretly hoping he'd come along, but now that he had actually admitted it, she was off of her guard. How she'd imagined answering to that statement with a warm embrace, perhaps a kiss on the cheek, or maybe a witty remark. But now…what could be said? Nothing was planned. It was so unlike Anne.
"Oh, I suppose," she said, her manner indifferent. Gilbert lowered his gaze to his feet. She supposed? That was it? "Anne," he said quietly, "do you want me to go to Redmond? Or would you rather I stayed here?"
Anne was so startled by the suggestion that she actually stepped back a few paces. "Why, Gil, you're actually asking for my permission?" She was flattered. Gilbert seemed to blush. "Yes, well, I just figured I should ask because you're the only other one from Avonlea going, and I didn't want to be a bother."
Anne laughed. "Don't forget about Charlie Sloane, Gilbert. You should ask him, too, if you're so worried." Gilbert stiffened. "Charlie Sloane has his heart far too set on you, Anne. You should be aware of that," he mumbled. Anne smirked. "Oh, I am well aware, thanks. But there's no danger, Gilbert. I don't fancy Charlie Sloane, nor will I ever."
Was it possible that Gil was looking smug at this statement? The silence that followed Anne's announcement was then broken by Gilbert, who looked quite pleased. "Come, Anne, I'll walk you back to Green Gables."
She gladly accepted his arm, and off they went, chattering busily this time. They talked of all the things they thought they'd learn, all the friends they'd make, the places they'd go…in no time at all, or so it seemed to the young Anne Shirley and equally youthful Gilbert Blythe, they had reached Green Gables again. Marilla no longer stood at the kitchen window. The sun was beginning to set, and she had probably already finished setting down supper.
Anne smiled and said her goodbyes, heading for the house. Gilbert's chance was slipping away. He quickly grasped it and called, "Anne!" She turned around and shouted back, "Gil?" He chuckled, but then replied, "Do you mind if I call regularly in Redmond?" He'd said it loudly on purpose. He was in love with Anne Shirley, and he didn't care who knew it.
Anne, however, did care. She had listened to the 'spiteful old cats' talk about people for years; she'd even laughed sometimes. But never, not even once, had they talked about her, and for that she was grateful. It was true that she did like Gilbert a lot…maybe even loved him, but she didn't want the people of Avonlea to know it. She was afraid of the talk it would bring.
She rushed over to him and slapped him. "Gilbert Blythe, how dare you say such things aloud! Don't you know how scandalous the talk will be on the morrow?" Gilbert rubbed his jaw. What was the matter with her? He asked her as such in an injured tone.
"Oh, I'm perfectly fine, or at least I was, until you decided to ask me a very personal question in a voice that could have alerted the entire town! In fact, I do mind if you call. Don't you dare, not even once! You have hurt me and my feelings beyond relief," she huffed.
Gil looked at her and said quietly, but firmly, "It was never my intention to hurt you, Anne. Please know that. Good night, then. I hope you enjoy Redmond as much as I know I shall." With that, he stalked out of the yard and back to his own home, hurt more than Anne Shirley knew. She obviously didn't care for him, never would and never could. He should resign himself to that fact. But he could not. No matter how hard he tried, he always gave in whenever he saw those gorgeous eyes and heard that laugh. He decided on the trek home to move on, no matter the cost. He would not be struck down again and again by that girl; it hurt too much.
That evening, Anne cried herself to sleep. She hadn't meant to send Gil away like that, not at all! On the contrary, she'd planned to see him loads at Redmond, but now…all because he had to say something so rude…but was it really? Marilla, who had heard everything, and seen it all, didn't think so. She believed Anne was in the wrong this time, but of course wouldn't dare say so.
Before she drifted off to slumber, Anne resolved to tell Gilbert just how she felt, with a thorough apology. She'd let him know how much she cared, how much she loved him, how sorry she was for being so cross. Then he'd see, and he could call on her anytime he liked. That is, if he still wanted to.
Trying my hand at this wonderful series now. R & R, tell me what you think.