a/n: I was just trying for something with this fic...I hope it's an enjoyable read. I do not own Death note or The Time Machine. Crying shame, but there it is.
It had all been a mistake.
Everything.
Using it, joining the investigation, causing the investigation, playing immature games with a detective who possessed a will of titanium, murdering said detective, and then beginning it all again.
It had been a diversion. Gifted students do one of two things: they work hard, excel, and go on to bigger things…. or they work, excel, and become bored.
He had never meant to become apathetic. He had never meant to let the first emotion that came to mind thereafter rule everything he did.
Light Yagami had never, ever, meant to kill anybody.
But it was too late to remedy anything.
"Ryuk."
"Nnn."
"What is a Shinigami?"
"Are you going stupid on me, Light?"
"Stupid? No, that's not the appropriate word."
"A Shinigami is a god of death, of course."
Ryuk watched the human with a spark of interest.
"And a Shinigami's purpose…..?"
"To bring death."
"In what way?"
"Any way they want. We're not called gods of death for nothing. Is this going somewhere?"
Light looked at the people around him. Today had been like every other day----utterly without meaning.
It made him want to vomit.
"Ryuuzaki? What are you reading?"
"It's commonly referred to as a book---" L paused as Light swiftly hit him with one of the pillows on the bed that they grudgingly shared----"violent behavior only increases the possibility of your being Kira," he admonished.
To anyone else, his expression would have revealed nothing. But Light could see the slightest twitching at the corner of his mouth, the way his eyes lightened a single shade.
"You know what I meant," Light said. The corners of his mouth were also twitching.
"I'm reading The Time Machine." L placed a bookmark between the yellowed pages. It was obvious to Light that it was not his first time reading it.
"I haven't heard of it. What's it about?" Light propped his head up with his elbow, studying his older companion with an easy expression.
"Eh? A time machine," L said blandly.
This time he retaliated with his own pillow, and the book discussion was soon forgotten.
"Ryuk. How would you define the death note?"
"You really have lost your edge since Rem killed L, haven't you?"
"Just answer me."
"I dunno. It's a part of me. I kill, and it's what I use to fulfill that purpose."
"So….would you say that the death note is the thing that's doing the killing…or is it merely a tool that helps you, personally, to kill?"
"Yeah. A tool's a good word for it. Thanks."
Light looked at his watch. He had approximately three minutes to do what needed to be done.
"I told you, Light-kun is thinking about it too much. Wells explains that there are four dimensions in the very beginning of the novel, it's the premise for the travel itself."
"But that's not possible!"
"Light-kun…."
"Yes, I know it's a novel. But we've already agreed that for the purposes of this conversation, the things which Wells describes exist."
"You are the one who is arguing that it is not possible, Light- kun. The only reason that the time traveler ever got anywhere was with the assumption that time is a thing just as real as space."
"What are you looking so happy about, Light? Shouldn't you be thinking about how you're going to beat Near?"
"I am thinking about how I'm going to beat Near."
"Whatever you say. But, the way you have been staring at the death note is starting to scare me. And I don't scare too easily."
"Light, how was your day?"
"It was great, mom. School was really interesting today."
If only there were something, anything at all that would be interesting. Anything to let him escape from the mundane.
"Paradox? What is Light-kun getting at?"
"Time travel."
It was three in the morning. Neither of them could sleep, and Light's thoughts had drifted once more into the realm of the science fiction which L was starting to regret introducing him to.
"Would Light-kun care to elaborate….or am I supposed to read his mind?" L said, for once letting the sarcasm seep through into his words.
"You know very well what I'm asking. You always do," Light answered quietly. He looked not at L, but at the ceiling.
"Since you asked nicely. In my opinion, what you're thinking is correct. If you brought something back that was identical to the thing already present, one of them would have to disappear, since obviously two can't exist at once."
"Since when is that obvious?"
"Since science fiction was created."
He spent a moment---no, not a moment, a few seconds---observing the sky, the grass, the school building. It took no time at all to locate the spot where the death note had fallen. If he craned his neck, he could see himself up in the classroom, staring out the window. It was okay to look at himself, he knew, so long as that self didn't recognize him.
Light pulled the hood a little lower over his face and started walking towards it, his own death note tucked inside his shirt.
"Ryuk?"
"What, more weird questions?"
"This is the last."
"Shoot."
"Is it possible that there are ways to use the death note that you don't know about?"
"This is just my guess, but I'd have to say….yeah. Definitely."
When he reached it, Light stared. It was such a small thing, so small it hadn't attracted anyone's notice but his own. This thing, so small, so plain, would ruin his life. Had already ruined his life.
But now he would set it right.
Light reached for the other death note. He was seconds away from salvation.
"What would happen to a person? That's what you want to know?" L looked at Light, bemused.
"Yeah. What do you think?"
"I would say that if the paradox applies to objects, it would also apply to people. If you went back in time and saw yourself, one of you would cease to exist. Probably the one that didn't belong there."
Light froze. Had he really just seen a black notebook fall out of the sky?
Ryuk watched as Light paced the room. There were notes stuck everywhere, with warnings that he didn't understand scribbled on them, and Light kept looking between the death note and another book. He would mutter, maybe write something, and then start pacing again.
He would go, he decided, as soon as class was over, to investigate.
Light was in the process of pulling out the notebook when he felt a hand on his shoulder. As he turned he felt his hood fall to his shoulders, and then he was looking into a startling pair of chestnut colored eyes.
He was looking into his own eyes.
Not his younger self---more like how he was now, almost as if he was older.
"I thought you might try something like this," Light said. "It's a good thing I noticed that I wasn't anywhere on March 5th five years ago."
"Of course, Light-kun understands my opinions are nothing but speculation. We can know nothing about time travel, nothing of paradoxes. Who knows if you could actually change something that happened in the past? You would have had to have already gone back, after all, and so there will have been no reason to return. Or perhaps when a human travels through time their past, present, and future selves split apart. Become separate.
"Say your present self goes back in time to change something. Say he succeeds, and when he is older, having no memory of the incident---merely suspects that something has happened and also goes back in time. Light-kun?" L rolled over. Light's eyes were closed and he was snoring softly.
"I guess it doesn't really matter, not with the games we are playing now, Kira." He whispered, leaning in to lightly kiss the younger man's forehead.
Light woke up with a smile on his face. His room was organized. He had memorized all his notes on time travel, had gone back to every conversation he'd had with L on the subject.
The death note was sitting beside him; he pulled a black hoodie over his head, and took a deep breath. It was possible, of that he was sure. He could use the death note to go back to the exact day that he had first picked the cursed thing up, and stop it from happening.
It had all been a mistake.
a/n: so...did it suck? Not suck? Please tell me what you think.