Valentine's Day-what a stupid, stupid holiday. Why should there be a holiday to love the person you're with? Why is it one day of three hundred and sixty-five that blokes need to be especially considerate of their girlfriends? Why is it that loads of couples book their weddings for February 14th? Including Petunia and Vernon.

Lily Evans groaned as she wiped her wet cheeks with her manicured fingers. She gingerly lifted the hem of her bridesmaid gown with her hands, bending down as far as she could in the tight dress she examined the blisters she was sure were blooming on her small feet.

"Stupid-stupid-" She mumbled inadequately as she unclasped the heels from around her ankles. Lily immediately sighed as her toes found the cool marble of Hogwarts' corridors. A smidgeon of guilt rose in her chest as she continued making her way up the large staircases. She wasn't supposed to be returning to the castle until tomorrow evening, yet here she was, begging for Dumbledore to let her back in. Lily just couldn't stay a minute longer in Cokesworth with her family. Other problems had arose.

Like for the fact Petunia hadn't even chose Lily as her maid of honor. Or that Petunia gave no notice of Lily even attending her wedding. Or the fact that their relationship had escalated to a high of genuine loathing, that they even fought at the wedding reception. The worst though, was that the entire time, Lily could not stop thinking about him.

Sure, she could have invited him to the awful wedding, but they weren't even dating. Potter hadn't even shown the least bit of interest in her since the beginning of term, and as much as she despised to admit it, Lily hated it. All throughout the evening his face popped into view in front of her green eyes, smirking and telling her what a tart Petunia was being-how dare she not see how perfect Lily was, and how dare she let that ugly pig she called her husband treat her like vermin.

James Potter was a comforting thought. And Lily hated it; hated it because she loved it. She loved the way his voice in her head made her laugh out loud like a crazed bird, or how she remembered each thing he'd said to her leading up to the wedding to comfort her fragile self-esteem. Lily laughed, ironically to herself as fresh tears cascaded down her cheeks. The Head's common room was right up ahead, but Lily didn't even know if she could make it the rest of the short distance.

"What a bloody, rotten-" Mid-rant the hem of her dress had caught underneath her toes and Lily went flying forward. She swore loudly and she landed with a thud on her side. "Oh, Merlin-what is wrong with me?" Lily began to cry, not bothering to get up from her uncomfortable spot on the cold marble. Petunia's words rang through her head like loud wedding bells-You'll always be a freak! You always steal my spotlight, but you can't do anything but wave around a silly wooden stick! You're not my sister!

Lily's sobs raked her body, although she tried being as quiet as possible. But of course, it was a Hogsmeade weekend and all of the students were happily about the wizard village. None of them would be lagging about the castle at four in the afternoon to hear her pathetic blubbering. She was so caught up in her terrible thoughts and tears, she didn't hear the faint click of wet trainers on the marble floor. She didn't hear as they started slow, and sped as the person began to run in her direction. She didn't hear as they stopped only a few feet from her fallen form.

"Lil? Lily, is that you?" His worried voice rang above her. Lily's sobs stopped immediately and her heart skipped a beat in her chest. Buggering hell, no-She begged to the heavens above, but that voice she knew all too well. "Lily, are you hurt? What's wrong? I thought-"

"James, not now." Her voice rang out through the empty corridor. Her voice was raspy and harsh, and she let out a new batch of tears.

"Oh, come on now Lil-" James kneeled next to her and rubbed small circles on her bare back. Lily could feel her face redden, her skin burn where he touched her and she was grateful for her main of red hair covering her embarrassed face. Lily shook her head like a small child, and she heard him shift next to her. His large hand grasped her biceps lightly and gently tugged upwards, until she was sitting up facing him. Lily-forgetting about what a horrid mess she must've looked-picked her head up curiously. His nose was pink from the cold, and small snowflakes still flaked his messy hair. James' hazel eyes were large and worried, as he scanned every inch of her face. His hand moved off of her arm, and the cold air hit her surprisingly hard. Lily shivered, and James immediately wrapped his arms around her.

"Fuck Evans, you're as cold as ice. How long have you been laying here?" James asked as he unbuttoned his cloak from around his neck with one arm, the other still holding her back. Lily shrugged and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. She was positive her make-up was running, her hair was probably a knotted mess, and there was a tear in the bottom of her gown.

"James-" She protested as he fastened the cloak around her before standing, and lifting her off the ground in one fluid motion. Lily was speechless, and it took all of her willpower to look anywhere, but his handsome face. Truth was, she had come to like James Potter the past few months of term. He was sweet, diligent, smart, attractive, fit-

"-get you back inside." His voice registered in her ears. Lily's face turned another shade of red, and she looked back down at her body now covered in his large cloak. His arms were still holding her securely to him and the warmth ran from her fingertips all the way to her toes. The butterflies circling madly in her stomach.

"Yeah, yeah, okay." Lily agreed as she let James guide her slowly to the portrait entrance.

"Valentine," James said as he flashed one of his famous, weak-knee, smirks at her. Lily barely managed a grimace before the painting swung open to reveal their beautiful, Gryffindor styled common room. Lily couldn't be more happier than to be back at Hogwarts, and she nearly tripped over herself as she ran into the room. "Careful-" James warned, but she merely collapsed on the nearest couch. Lily breathed in the familiar scent of the clean cushions, and the smell of the fireplace crackling not too far away. Even in James' cloak she shivered, but that could've been due to James' sitting right next to her, his bum resting close to her thigh-the warmth radiating off of him.

"You still cold?" He asked kindly. She nodded feebly as she closed her eyes. Lily was exhausted; exhausted from crying, from walking, and from living. "How long were you out there?"

"Couldn't tell you." Came her short reply. All day she'd been thinking about how wonderfully perfect the boy was in front of her, but now she could barely get out a sentence. There was something seriously wrong with her.

"Do you want to talk-"

"No!" Lily nearly shouted at him as she sat up quickly. James shocked expression remained on his face for nearly a second, before a faint red hue colored his cheeks. Their faces must have been only six inches apart, and Lily looked away from his soft lips as quickly as possible-not wanting to imagine the feel of them on hers... "Well-maybe. Not now. I-I think I should go shower." James only nodded, as she trampled over the dress and cloak to stand. Once she was steady on her blistered feet, she made her way to her bedroom.

If Lily thought she looked a mess before, it was nothing compared to the real thing. She nearly let out a scream when she looked at herself in the mirror, but doing so would result in James running to her rescue. Which she didn't mind, but it was unnecessary. Her green irises were rimmed with red and dark bags formed underneath her eyelashes. Her black mascara ran in smudges all over her cheeks, and her nose was red and irritated from all the tissues she had used at the wedding. Her red hair had fallen from its bun, and her knotted curls lay in frizz balls around her shoulders.

I'm a bloody disaster. She thought miserably as she pulled off the straps of the slimming dress into a heap on the floor. As she looked at herself back in the mirror, naked, memories flooded her mind from earlier. She was a freak-a huge, unusual Muggle girl who didn't know what she had. Petunia was right, about it all. About being a know-it-all, about showing off, about being better at everything than her older sister ever was-it wasn't even jealousy that etched Petunia's features as she said these things. It was the hard truth, it was anger, it was hatred...it was-it was all Lily's fault. Lily's fault for being everything, and Tuney nothing. Lily's fault for being exceedingly gorgeous, and Tuney a horse. Lily's fault for being a freak, and Tuney normal.

She turned her gaze from the mirror and her eyes found the pink razor lying on the counter from her shave. The blade looked awfully sharp, awfully painful-more painful than anything else. Without really thinking, Lily picked up the razor and held it over her wrist. It would be like that time she broke her wrist, the pain so much greater than the reason for why it happened. She could cut herself, bleed out if she wanted to go all the way. No one would miss her; she hadn't even been asked out for Valentine's Day, not even by James. She took a deep breathe and prepared herself-

"Lily? You okay in there?" Lily dropped the razor with a gasp and it clattered into the sink below her.

"Y-Yeah, just getting in." She lied as she forced herself towards the shower head. Lily closed her eyes and pictured James waiting outside the door, his hands deep in his trousers, kicking the carpet with the point of his trainers and mumbling to himself to pass the time. The thought was comforting, and Lily jumped into the warm water.

She didn't know how long she stood in the blazing hot water-could've been ten minutes, maybe an hour or two. However, by the time Lily got out, James was still sitting patiently by the door. His head snapped up as he heard the door open and he smiled. Lily managed a small grin in her pajama bottoms and t-shirt; her hair still damp from the shower.

"Good shower?" He asked kindly as he stood, reaching at least six inches taller than she. It would've been better with you, she let her mind wander, then quickly punished herself for thinking such dirty thoughts. Lily must have made a face exteriorly for James snickered, "Something bothering, you?"

"Life." She blurted without thinking. James opened his mouth to protest, but Lily didn't really want to talk about it. Well, maybe she did, but she had already embarrassed herself enough in front of him. "Look I'm tired, maybe I should just-"

"Is that my shirt you're wearing?" He interrupted with a goofy grin and a poke to her chest. She blushed the shade of her hair as she looked down at the large, red Quidditch shirt that dressed most of her person.

"Um, yeah I-I found it one day and the elves-they put it in my room after laundry-"

"No, it's okay Lily." James said as he placed a warm hand on her shoulder. "You can have it, it looks good on you." Lily didn't know where the compliments were coming from, and she didn't understand why she grew hot every time he spoke. Lily met her green eyes with hazel, and the two Heads stared at one another for a moment.

"Petunia's wedding was today." began Lily as she shrugged James' hand off her shoulder.

"I know."

"She's no longer an Evans."

"I know.'

"She's not my sister anymore either." James suddenly had no retort, and looked at her with a pained expression. Lily didn't want his pity, she just wanted him to listen. Suddenly, he grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers. "What are you-" But James simply led them out of her bedroom and into their common room where they sat on one of the large couches that decorated their living space.

James, still holding onto Lily's hand, had propped her feet up onto his lap and was gently messaging her sore soles. She leaned her head back onto a pillow, closing her eyes and breathing deeply. His other hand absentmindedly caressed the back of hers.

"Can you tell me what happened?" James asked quietly. "I don't-I bloody well don't like seeing you like this, Lil." Lily found herself reluctantly nodding her head. And so she began.

She told him about how none of the other bridesmaids would speak to her, nor glance her way. How her mother had barely noticed she was there, because it was Petunia's special day. Lily mentioned how rude Vernon was to her, although his friends' enjoyed her company more. And whenever she was around Vernon seemed to back away as if she were dangerous. She mentioned how sick she'd been making herself over the whole ordeal all week, plus the plethora amount of work for Head duties and N.E.W.T. preparations. She told James how she had confronted Petunia, telling her how brilliant the day was going, when Petunia had exclaimed,

"You always have to be a ball of sunshine, do you? Always stealing my spotlight with your snarky comments-"

They had rowed right there, on the side of the dance floor about it all. Not one ounce magic or Hogwarts was brought into it, but how Petunia wished she could have a normal sister with normal problems. How Petunia hated Lily, and never wanted to speak to her again.

"Ruining her wedding!" James exclaimed angrily as Lily stopped mid-sentence. She had not shed one tear, but she figured she was already out. "Bloody fuck, how could she even think that? It's no fun to be normal!" Lily let out a small laugh and James' eyes flashed humorously.

"In all honestly, Lily, you don't deserve that." said James sincerely, "None of its true, alright? And so what if you stole her spotlight for a bit? You're bloody gorgeous-Merlin himself couldn't keep his eyes from you."

Lily smiled embarrassingly and looked down at their still entwined fingers. James must've seen her, and tried pulling away but she kept a firm grip. Lily felt the tears beginning to prickle behind her eyes, and she needed him.

"But she's right. If it weren't for me, Mum and Dad wouldn't have been attacked last year." Lily stated miserably, "It's my fault for being the odd one out. It's not Tuney's fault she's not magical, it's mine. It's not Petunia's fault that we're no long speaking, because I'm the reason she pushed me away." A tear escaped her eye, but before she could wipe it, James' other hand wiped it for her-his hand resting on her cheek and she leaned into his palm.

"That's a load of bullshit, Lily." His honesty hit her like a ton of bricks, and her eyes snapped open to him. James was awfully close now, close enough to kiss, and his eyes grazed hungrily over her features. "It's not your fault-"

"It is-"

"Lily, don't." He said harshly and she immediately shut her mouth. He sighed and rubbed her soft skin with his thumb and smiled. "You've spoken, now its my turn." Lily was so beside herself with emotion-love and sadness-that she simply nodded like a fool.

"I want you to know something important first, alright? You know I care about you, and we're friends right?"

"Yes-yes of course-"

"And I would never, ever disrespect you or tell you anything but the truth-"

"James-"

"-everything I'm going to say to you is for you, and no one else-"

"Okay but honestly-"

"-because I know you, like no one else does, even if you don't know it." Lily shut her mouth and stared at him, the corner of his pink lips twitching upwards ever so slightly. "I know how rubbish you think life can be, I know how you think of ways to off yourself when you think no one cares, I know its hard for you to get your arse up in the morning, and to put on your fake smile when really you want to throw one of your bloody temper tantrums and yell about how stressed you are." Lily laughed slightly at the truth of his words, and another tear fell down her cheek. He wiped it quickly. She opened her mouth to protest, but he shushed her.

"I'm not done." He said before sighing heavily and taking a deep breath. "You may put on a fake smile for everyone else, but I can see right through you. Even if your smiles aren't always real, they're the best thing to me and they keep me going when I'm having an off day. And you may think you're rubbish at Head Girl, but you aren't and you need to remember how amazing you are."

Lily stared at their hands, the tan and pale, the rough and delicate, intertwined together. Her heart swelled with love-she knew it was him. Lily wouldn't deny it, she fancied James Potter. More than fancied James Potter, and here he was telling her everything she needed to hear.

"You're amazing too, you are." She commented quietly and stole a smile at him. He grinned a bit and pulled her towards him. Lily cuddled into his t-shirt and inhaled his lovely scent. His hand around her shoulder twirled her red hair, the other still in her hand, their feet playing slight footsie at the bottom of the couch.

"I know that it gets hard, and I know sometimes you think you're not worth living, Lily." He said softly, as if he were afraid of her answer. She looked up into his eyes and saw the pain in his words.

"It's not serious." She half admitted for it was better than lying wholeheartedly about her daily thoughts of suicide.

"Aren't you, though?" asked James. Lily noted the rhetorical question and simply nuzzled her face into his chest. "I know that sometimes life isn't perfect-like, like this bloody February weather. Sometimes you have to turn your back to the cold air, and sometimes the warm sun rays may be too hot for the time of year. But at least you're here to feel it-you're alive and it will all be okay."

"And what if it isn't?"

"It will be, I swear to you. You deserve to be happy, Lily because you're gorgeous and brilliant, and even though you're a bit maddening you're a good laugh-"

"James, please-"

"No, I'm not going to stop Lily." James said sternly, now turning to face her, "Because Petunia doesn't have the right to treat you that way, and no one who makes you feel like shit deserves to live. You're not perfect, I'm not perfect, but there's no such thing. I'm a bit arrogant, and you're a bit too temperamental." Lily laughed and smiled up at him, wiping a happy tear from her face. "And you looked bloody gorgeous in that dress, and I wish I could've been there to see you without make-up running down your face." Lily hid her red face in his shirt, clutching onto the fabric for dear life, because she never wanted to let him go.

"Thank you, but tomorrow I'll be back to my normal, boring self."

"No, you don't get it, Evans. You look beautiful even in my t-shirt and pajama shorts, you look beautiful with you're hair up and a quill stuck behind your ear, you look beautiful when you wake-up in the morning-Lily, for fuck's sake-" And he stopped, and a faint blush crept up his cheeks. She felt his arm around her reach back, and his ran a hand through his already messy (and extremely silky looking) hair. Lily stared curiously up at him. James seemed to be fighting an internal battle.

"What's 'for fuck's sake'?" She quoted innocently. James grinned and shook his head. He looked down at her and weaved his hand through her hair again.

"Merlin, and I was so sure I wouldn't let myself get carried away." James spoke to himself. Lily barely had time to raise an eyebrow before he chuckled again. "But when have I ever been able to control myself around you, Evans?" Lily shrugged her shoulders and a smile tugged at her lips. All of the rotten feelings from earlier had disappeared in a matter of an hour. "I was going to say that for fuck's sake-" he paused to sigh deeply, "I'm in love with you, and when you're happy I'm happy."

Lily felt the butterflies explode in her stomach she smiled wide enough to cover her entire body. She didn't mind that her face was probably as red as her hair or that James was looking at her with the most odd expression. He loves me, he's in love with me-Potter-James, he's in love with me.

"And here I am, contemplating death because no one loves me on Valentine's Day." Lily laughed to herself as she placed her free hand on his that was currently attached to the side of her head. James' cheeks remained flushed and he opened his mouth multiple times, searching for the right words. Lily had pushed herself almost all the way up against him, and she noticed James' hand twitch in hers for her bare thigh that was touching his.

"It-it doesn't have to be t-that way." He mumbled, almost inaudible. Lily smiled at James, and saw the opportunity she'd been missing out on for nearly four years.

"No, it doesn't." And with that she launched herself forward and planted her lips on his. His lips were as soft as they looked, and he was as good a kisser as everyone made him out to be. James leaned backwards until Lily was laying right on top of him. Her hands went straight into his hair and the back of his neck as he hooked one arm around her waist and the other in her hair. The kiss lasted for a few blissful minutes before they pulled away for air. James smiled lovingly down at her and Lily giggled. His hand ran across her cheek and rubbed her lips lightly.

"Can you smile for me?" He asked kindly. And Lily smiled, a genuine, white smile. "Like that every day?"

"I'll try." She answered as she lied her head on his beating chest and closed her eyes. She would try for James, because he was the reason she was living. James Potter was her reason for living, and she didn't seem to hate the idea anymore.

"Happy Valentine's Day, beautiful." James whispered into her hair as he planted a kiss onto her forehead.

"Happy Valentine's Day, love." And with that, a final happy tear made its way down her cheek and Lily was fast asleep.