A/N- This is a revised version of Love Gone and I've also made it into three parts because I couldn't stop writing lol. Review and let me know what you think! Thanks 3
PART 1
Chapter 1 gone
I dragged myself out of bed not wanting to face what was now reality. I was 19 years old. I hated getting older than Edward and I hated even more not waking up next to him. A year ago he left me a couple days after my 18th birthday, ever since I have nightmares every time he's away. Not that I would tell him that because it would just make him feel unnecessarily responsible for something he couldn't control. Making my day even worse it was warm and sunny out which meant I wouldn't be seeing Edward and Alice at school. I went down stairs to eat some breakfast hoping maybe Edward was waiting for me since Charlie would no doubt be gone already.
" Hmm I guess he must be busy." I said out loud to myself.
I saw my disappointed face in the mirror and hated myself for being so pathetic. I'll just stop wallowing and call him. Problem solved. The phone rang 10 times and then went straight to voicemail. That's weird Edward usually answers on the first ring as if he knows I'm calling him. I called Alice next because if Edward didn't answer, Alice definitely would. Her phone went straight to voicemail also. I started getting panicky. I couldn't hear anything but the strange noise that was coming from my mouth. I was hyperventilating. I fell to the floor and put my head in between my knees and took deep breaths, something I knew all to well how to do due to the fact that I overreacted about so many things. This has to be a misunderstanding.
I decided to skip school and go to the Cullen's house. School was not even close to important compared to Edward. I neared the Cullen's house and felt my stomach twist in knots. I knew something wasn't right. I got out and checked the garage. None of the cars were there. No one answered the door. I went inside and the furniture was all covered in big white cloths. They. Were. All. Gone. This couldn't be happening again. I backed out the door shaking my head.
" No, no, no, no, no, no, no this isn't happening." I mumbled.
I stumbled down the stairs and fell on the gravel driveway hurting my knees. My eyes blurred with tears. My mind was a blur. I heard myself from far away.
" NO! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?" I screamed as tears streamed down my face.
I pounded the ground so hard I could feel my knuckles break.
" EDWARD!" I screamed over and over hoping he would reappear.
" HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME YOU SAID YOU WOULD STAY FOREVER!"
I rocked back and forth on the ground for what seemed like forever crying. The pain of my hand was nothing compared to my once again shattered heart rattling around in my chest trying to find a way to break out.
" Edward" I heard my self mumble the whole time but my mind was somewhere else.
Someone touched my arm, I looked not bothering to stop saying his name. It was Jacob.
" Bella! Oh my god Bella are you alright! What happened? Someone called me and told me to come here because it was an emergency."
" They're gone...again" I cleared my head so I could listen to what he was saying to me. Did he say that someone called him to tell him to come here?
" Bella I'm so sorry... those leeches will pay for this. I promise you that."
" Who called you?" I whispered desperately trying to clear my eyes so I could look around. Maybe one of them was watching.
" I'm not sure it wasn't a voice I recognized it was some girl."
Some strange girl? really? how could this be happening. My mind started to blank out again. I felt Jacob pick me up and put me in my truck. He drove me to my house and ran full speed inside not bothering to keep a human speed. I heard him call 911 and then he called Charlie. The ambulance arrived first.
" In here!" I heard Jacob shout right next to me.
" Her hand is all bloody and I think it's broken. Fix up her knees too!" Jacob barked at the emergency team.
" Why didn't you just take her to the hospital this isn't that bad." One of the guys said clearly annoyed.
" Look at her man. I didn't want to move her. This has happened before and it was bad. I just didn't want to risk anything."
" Ok well we can do the cast here but she will need to come in to get it taken off in a few weeks."
" Thanks." Jacob sighed out gratefully.
I heard Charlie's heavy feet run into the room.
" What happened here? What's wrong with her?" his deep voice pounded in my ear.
" She's broken a few knuckles and she's scraped up pretty bad." A man said close by.
"Who-" Charlie started to say but was cut off
" It looks like she did it herself." The man said
There was silence for a minute and then I heard Jacob whisper
" The Cullen's took off..again. Someone called me to go there and I found her there freaking out. She was hitting the ground with her fists and screaming. I've never seen anything like it before."
I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head trying to get him out of my mind.
" Miss please stop you have to hold still."
I didn't stop. I wouldn't stop. I would do anything to keep the memories and images of my second family out of my head. I would take any pain that would stop it. I survived it the first time but could I really survive him leaving me another time? Everything was fine, more than fine it was perfect why would they leave without even telling me this time. They must really not care anymore if they couldn't even have the decency to tell me like last time. Last time, last time, last time was all I could think about. The things I went through.. I didn't, no I wouldn't go through it again!
" I'm sorry sir we're going to have to take her in and strap her down she wont lay still. We also have a physiatrist on site for her if you would like,"
It was silent for a few minutes and then Charlie whispered "fine."
They took me to the phyc ward at Forks Hospital-why they had one of those for a small town hospital I will never know- and I was strapped down to a bed and they gave me a sedative. The medicine did nothing to numb my pain. Every second I was unconscious I tortured myself with thoughts of Edward. I could feel the gaping hole in my chest like last time he left me. It was twice the size and hurt twice as much. Last year when he came back he said he would learn from his mistakes and he would never leave me again. What ever happened to that promise? Who was the mystery voice on the phone? Jacob would have known if it was one of the Cullen's. He was kind of on speaking bases with them. For my sanity-if I even had any left- If I survived the night and became conscious again I would never speak any of the Cullen's names, especially Edwards.
Chapter 2 p.a.i.n.
I could feel the sedative wearing off. My limbs didn't feel like gelatin anymore. My eyes fluttered and opened. The room was so bright it hurt. I started to shake. I didn't want to be awake. Why couldn't I have just died. Why couldn't some thirsty vampire come and take my life. I could feel my face getting wet with tears and that's when everyone ran to my side. Jacob, Charlie, Renee, and even Phil were there. Everyone was patting me and trying to calm me down. I didn't want to.
" Bella honey calm down please it's not good for you." Renee said with red eyes.
I could feel the huge bruises on my arms from the straps being so tight, I looked to Jacob who didn't even have words to say, I could see his face. It was a familiar expression. I had seen it before when he first became a werewolf. It was hard and sad, not his face at all. I didn't want him to look like that but I didn't have the strength to comfort someone else.
" Nurse! please help." I heard Charlie yell.
I hadn't noticed before but I was shaking violently, thrashing was actually more like it. What was wrong with me my mind was somewhere else and my body was acting like someone not like myself. I managed to spit out through my teeth that I didn't want anymore medicine. All four of them ran out of the room to go hunt someone down I suppose and in the few minutes they were gone someone walked in. A someone that was distinctly not human. Tanya. She rushed towards me and hugged me.
" Bella I'm sorry this is how it has to be. I came to see how you are but I must not stay. Know that the Cullen's are happy now. Goodbye."
Before I could say anything she was gone. She was only here for a few seconds but that was all it took to send me over the edge.
" NOOO!" I screamed with all my energy.
This hurt so much. I don't think I will ever be the same. With that scream brought on a nurse a doctor and more medicine. I could feel my body sinking into the numbness of being sedated.
When I woke up Jacob and Seth were there. They both looked really freaked. I was calm enough that I decided to talk.
" Jake...Seth?" I said clearing my throat.
" Oh Bella!" he rushed over " how are you Hun?"
I steered clear of that question and changed the subject.
" Where is my mom and Charlie?"
" They are on another floor making some arrangements." He looked uncomfortable.
" What do you mean Jake?"
" Bella... You really scared us. I mean you hurt yourself, you wouldn't stop screaming or shaking. I was so scared for you."
" Spit it out Jacob what are they doing?" I could feel my anxieties flaring.
" They want to get you some help"
" Help?"
" Yeah to help you through this-"
Charlie came in and cleared his throat, that was Jacob's cue to shut up.
" Bells how are you feeling?"
" Fine." I lied. It seems like I would be having to lie a lot for now on if they wanted me to talk to someone about what was going on.
" That's good.. Listen Bella now that you're awake me and you're mom and Dr. Spitz would like to talk to you a little."
" Well I'm kind of tired, could it wait?"
" I'm afraid not."
" Fine."
Charlie waved in my mom and Dr. Spitz I presumed. Jake and Seth were asked to leave and as Jacob walked out I could see a tear roll down his face. I hated doctors they made me nervous. I could tell when they had bad news, I was in the emergency room all too often.
" Hello Bella my name is Dr. Spitz." He smiled warmly, which I hated " I know you're probably having a tough time right now but we would like to help you with that."
Everyone was waiting for me to speak.
" Like seeing a shrink." I said sourly.
" Yes exactly that Bella. We have a new program here that is an intense 5 week program. You would stay here with some other patients that are doing the same program."
I didn't speak. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. This program would not work for me. When you went to see a shrink you had to tell the truth to help you get through things. I could not tell anyone the truth, they would lock me in a padded room for the rest of my life.
" Bells this is what is best for you and frankly you don't have a choice in the matter, this isn't like last time." Charlie spat out the last few words. " You'll start tomorrow."
Alice's POV
" Jasper this just isn't right. Think about what this will do to Bella. There has to be some mistake."
" Alice leave it. It's final."
I was putting my carry - on suite cases in the overhead compartment on the plane when a vision popped it my head. It was Bella in a hospital all bandaged and strapped to a bed. She was thrashing and screaming, a doctor was giving her a sedative. I gasped and my eyes started to prickle.
" Alice! What's wrong?" Jasper put his arms around me and sat me down.
" Bella." Was all I could whisper.
" What happened?"
" I knew this would be bad. She has literally gone crazy this time. They have her bandaged and strapped to a hospital bed and she's screaming.." I had to calm myself. I'm sure Jasper didn't calm me already because he knew I wanted to feel my own emotions as they came. " They had to put her to sleep so she wouldn't hurt herself." I slumped forward feeling exhausted. Jasper stared at me for almost a whole minute before he spoke again.
" This isn't right we have to do something."
Jacob's POV
I watched Bella sleep looking so peaceful, she deserved that. I remembered what happened yesterday. Billy answered the phone and said whoever it was said it was urgent. I thought maybe Sam needed me but it was a girl, No one I recognized.
" Jacob Black?"
" Yes?"
" This is an emergency, you need to go to the Cullen's house right away there is no time to waste. You will know what I mean when you get there."
The phone went dead. I didn't know what it was but I ran as fast as I could I knew driving might be faster but I didn't even think. My mind ran wild on the way there. What if a vampire got to Bella and the Cullen's couldn't save her ravaged body? I heard Bella's voice screaming in pain and lurched my feet faster. When she was in view I saw her hurting herself. She was screaming and crying and punching the ground. I tried to talk to her but she was to upset. she said they left again. I knew it! I knew this would happen again those stinkin bloodsuckers did it again. My hands started to shake in rage but I had to keep it together for Bella. I took her to her house and called 911. At first the emergency team was pretty pissed at me. I didn't care. Who were they to me, Bella was important now. When they had to put her to sleep I couldn't bear it. I cried openly. I didn't even care who saw me even though I would get hell from Leah later on. Bella was the love of my life and she was being hurt again. I would fix her if it is the last thing I could do! When she got out of that 5 week program I would be there for her no matter what and I would go with her anywhere.
Chapter 3
My time at the hospital was as depressing as it could get. There were 10 other kids in the program with me. I lied through my teeth the whole time. They think Edward was just some boy I loved and the Cullen's were a regular family that stuck by their son's decision to leave town. I wasn't even allowed visitors during my 5 weeks. What was wrong with these people? Having no one come see you is more depressing than being by yourself. After a few weeks I got over the thrashing and trying to hurt myself phase. The doctor said I was making great improvements, I was just trying to divert the attention away from me. I mostly just laid in bed and stared into space trying to tell myself I could get through this. I was living second by second. When I refused to eat for two weeks they began feeding me through tubes. I cut myself off from thinking anymore. Jacob walked in my front door barreling towards me on the couch.
" Bella." He looked and sighed at me. " I'm so glad you're home I missed you Seth, Embry, and Quil did too. Even Sam and Emily are asking about you."
" I'm fine Jacob. Please tell them that I don't need more people worrying about me."
" OK.." Jacob. My Jacob looked spent. He didn't need to feel this way, this was my hell not his.
" Do you wanna go to the beach? or we could just go to my house. Or what ever you want." He said suddenly.
I declined. I was being so selfish. Most of me didn't care I could feel myself change I wasn't the same Bella I was before.
Six months passed. I quit work, I declined all my college acceptances, and I hardly saw anyone. Jacob came over everyday, mostly just sitting with me while I felt sorry for myself. Angela and Ben came over every once in a while but they stopped coming around after a few months. Charlie never once said anything about it until now.
" Bella I will not sit here and watch you waste your life away! If you don't get yourself together in one month you are out. As much as I hate to do this it needs to be done. I will always love you though, that will never change." Charlie started at dinner one night.
" What do you expect me to do go away to college and forget this ever happened?" I said suddenly with passion.
" No I would never expect that I just want you to hang out with your friends at least. I want you to at least work on acting human."
" What?" My head snapped up. Acting human. Ha. I was reminded too much of my past life.
" Fine. I'll go see Jake tonight." I was desperate to forget what I was thinking.
" Well that's great Bells." Charlie Smiled widely.
I let Charlie clear the table and walked out to my car. As I drove to Jacob's house my mind was somewhere else. I didn't see the deer run across the road in time. It was too fast to even remember, I blacked out as I crashed into a tree. I remember sections of what happened. It was like a movie everything was blurry and real fast. There were two people there. A small girl and a man, or was I imagining it? The small girl put me in the car and the man pushed the car back on the road. What was happening? I tried to open my eyes to see who was helping me but all to fast I was at Jacob's house. Jacob and Billy were outside. I felt my mouth moving but I didn't hear anything
" Bella it's okay you just hit your head hard." Billy said reassuringly.
Jacob laid me out on the couch and gave me a pack of ice. He rubbed my arm. It felt really nice I hadn't felt very warm in a long time.
" I'm confused..how did I get here?" I asked when I came to.
They both looked at me strangely. " You drove here Bella. Thank god you didn't get in another accident. " Jacob said.
" Huh. I don't remember." I looked out the window to my truck it only had a dent in the hood. I must have been dreaming about the people that helped me. My car was indestructible, I however am not. Why am I being so careless. Even if they - I couldn't bear to say their name - did not care about me other people still did.I had to bottle these feelings up. Maybe if I had really great luck they would eventually disappear.
" It's good to see you Jake." I laughed. I actually laughed. Maybe I was becoming hysterical. He gave me the best Jacob smile ever. It was the first ounce of goodness I felt in a long time.
Chapter 4
My insides still felt cold and my mind felt far away but I hung out with Jacob everyday. He didn't go to school anymore and when I asked him about it he didn't have much to say.
" Jake did you quit school to take care of me?" I said one day
" No of course not. I have a duty to the pack to watch out for things around here, I just happen to be free to be with you."
" The pack made you quit school?" I said skeptically.
" No but they don't mind. I'm not ageing so I can always go later on. I have important things to take care of now so school can wait."
I didn't believe him but I didn't press it harder he was right after all he wasn't aging. I however was and Charlie was bringing up college more and more frequently.
" Bella how about going to look at colleges?"
" Dad I don't think so. I don't think I'm ready to leave just yet. The only thing that is keeping me happy right now is Jake..what would I do without him?" I knew I wasn't completely happy but why disappoint him.
" Well at least go on some tours. I'm sure Jake wouldn't mind going. You could make a road trip out of it."
" I don't know if Jake would wanna do that." I bit my lip hoping he wouldn't make me ask him.
" What wouldn't I want to do?" Jake said as he bust in through my front door.
" Don't you knock any more?" I said bitterly.
" Bella thinks you wouldn't wanna take some campus tours with her."
" That actually sounds pretty cool. Plus I have a surprise!"
" And what's that?" I said with an edge still
" I got my GED! I can look at schools for myself too!"
" That's great Jake. Congratulations, although it would have been better it you just went to high school like a regular person." Just cusp he was a werewolf didn't mean that he had to stop having a normal life.
" A GED is fine for me. Let's go upstairs and download some college applications for me!"
" Okay I guess."
We got up into my room and he seemed to cut the happiness charade.
" Why didn't you tell me you were working on you're GED?" I was kind of irritated he hadn't told me.
" It was a surprise. So let's look at colleges."
" Jake I don't know. I don't want to go off alone to some place not familiar it would wreck all the progress I already made, even if it is only a little bit."
" Bella do you actually think I would let you go off somewhere by yourself? You would probably get yourself killed and I know you couldn't live without me for four years." He grinned.
" I guess it wouldn't be all that bad if you were there with me. Maybe we could even get an apartment."
" Sounds good to me. I think the pack could live without me if we went far."
" Oh well if you have to stay for the pack I understand."
I was looking for any excuse to not go away. On the outside I looked almost happy. I had a little color and spirit back in my life but not much. On the inside it wasn't much better. I had horrible nightmares every night, that is when I could sleep. Most nights I couldn't sleep and I would stare at the ceiling all night feeling the ache in my chest. During the day it wasn't much better. I didn't eat much which is why I was very skinny and I was always holding myself together. Charlie, Jake, and the pack were use to it though.
" They won't mind, believe me."
" Ok" I tried to sound casual " You can apply to colleges I already got accepted to"
" No problem you just take care of scheduling the tours."
The next few weeks me and Jake traveled to tour colleges. We went to Washington State, University of Buffalo, University of Alaska, Harvard, Brown, and Dartmouth. We both chose to go to Dartmouth. It wasn't too long ago that I actually considered going there anyways. When we got home I felt exhausted.
I was sitting up at night not able to sleep when I felt the urge to go for a drive. It was 4am, Charlie had already left so he wouldn't mind if I went out for a drive. I found my self driving down a familiar dirt road to a white house. The sun was just rising so the house looked kind of beautiful, but I couldn't believe I had ended up here. I felt my body crumble to the ground. Why was I here torturing myself like this? I had been almost a year since I had been here. I could feel the powerful emotions coming back to me but I fought back hard to keep them in. Maybe I was suppose to be here though. Maybe if I went inside I could have closure and I could move on with my life. Did I really want to move on with my life? Even though people thought I had gotten over the them a while ago when I was alone the act went away and I was left with myself and my memories.
I couldn't chance getting hurt again. I spun around and jumped in my car. I gunned it to 55 wishing I could go faster. I didn't want to be alone anymore so I went to the only place I felt safe and good. Jake's house.
I didn't knock at the Black's house anymore I just burst in and ran to Jake's room. He was still sleeping. I forgot it was only 6am.
" Whoa! What?" Jake jumped up startled.
" It's just me Jake I'm sorry."
" What are you doing here?" He said smiling. What a perv.
" I-I was just at their house" I said really fast.
He looked at me as if I was crazy and waited before he said anything.
" Why would you do that? Are you trying to torture yourself? And right before we leave for Dartmouth too."
" I didn't mean to go there but I ended up there anyways. Everything was the same...I-I came here because I didn't want to be by myself."
" What were you doing up?"
" You know I don't sleep very well..." I said looking at my feet.
" Oh yeah. Well It's fine we can stay here and hang out."
" No sleep you need rest you're not getting much sleep as it is."
We both lay on Jacob's bed, I barely fit on it though since Jacob was so big. It didn't feel uncomfortable laying with him when I knew he felt differently towards me than I did him, it just felt...right. Jacob's snoring lulled me into a dreamless sleep.
Chapter 5 leaving the nest.
Tomorrow I would leave for college. It was such a weird thought. I would miss Charlie terribly but the thing I would miss most I wouldn't admit to anyone. The reason I thrived in Forks was because I could always believe that they were real. I would take the pain it caused me to be near the memories to just believe vampires were real. I had to force myself to leave this place.
I came up with so many different excuses to why I shouldn't leave the state but Jake knew I would pull this and he didn't let me think about it often. We were non-stop getting ready to leave. We spent weeks buying things for our apartment and getting school supplies and jobs secured. Jacob of course insisted that he work for us. What were we a married couple? No doubt he wished that. Even through all the endless busy work I still felt my chest ache in ways I didn't think it could.
" You ganna be okay Bells?" Charlie said while hugging me at the airport.
" I don't know" I sighed " But I'll try my hardest."
" That's the spirit. If you need anything or need to come home anytime just let me know, I'll be there for you kid."
" Thanks dad, I love you." I held back crying and by the looks of it Charlie did too.
" Love you too Bella."
" Bye Billy I'll miss you too." I said and took Jacob's hand and went off.
I stepped out of the cab to see our new apartment. 1121 Penora St. I couldn't believe I lived on my own. I didn't want that much responsibility. My thoughts ran back to our flight here. I quite literally had a panic attack. The flight attendant looked scared. Thankfully Jacob took me into the bathroom to calm me down. It probably looked suspicious, two people going into the bathroom together but I didn't care.
" Bella you can do this. Look at me." Jacob said calmly.
" I'm...trying.." I said in between my gasping.
" Slow your breathing. Copy mine. Listen." He put my right hand to his chest so I could feel the breathing.
Me and Jake had become so close that people thought we were dating. The land lord even called me Mrs. Black. It didn't bother me to tell him we were just friends but I caught a look on Jake's face that made me think he didn't care so much that people thought we were together.
We walked up to the third floor. Our apartment was number 34. Before we walked in Jacob stood in front of the door.
" I forgot to tell you something. Now don't kill me ok?"
" What did you do Jacob?" I said glaring I knew that look. That meant I wasn't going to like what he did.
" Well we couldn't afford the rent by ourselves so I... got us a roommate!"
" What?" I growled " What were you thinking? We have too many secrets to be having some stranger living with us!"
" Shh. She's ganna hear you. Don't worry about it. We don't have bloodsuckers" I winced "in our life now and I'll only need to phase maybe once a month to keep myself from aging. We'll be fine."
" What is she going to think of me? I'm a wreck she's going to think I'm a total freak!"
" I'll explain you're..um..condition later if you want. Excluding the leeches."
" Fine. What's her name at least."
" It's Amber." He smiled and I couldn't help but smile back.
I walked in cautiously. Everything was set up, it looked beautiful. Amber was sitting on the couch watching Law and Order.
" Hi you guys! I'm Amber Sulley."
Amber is a 5'8 athletic blonde. She is way to peppy and is way too touchy feely. I thought that I caught her giving Jacob a look and couldn't help but feel jealous, Maybe I was just imagining it because I wanted a reason to hate her.
" Hi" Jacob and I said at the same time bringing a smile to both of our faces.
" Well I see you guys are really close already..We'll have to spend lots of time together so we can all be close."
" Yeah totally." Jacob said really fast and shot a worried look at me. I'm sure he knew I would feel jealous. Jake knew how I felt before I even felt it.
" Let me show you guys around. I set everything up for you guys and picked out your rooms, hope you don't mind."
" Of course not" I said to be polite but really who was this girl. She was the invited roommate not the one who invited us.
The apartment was nice, three rooms, one bathroom, a kitchen and dining room smooshed into one, and a living room with a huge L shaped couch and a plasma TV. My room was the nicest, so I couldn't be mad at Amber for picking it for me. It had double windows overlooking Dartmouth and a queen size bed. My book shelf was set up and ready for me to load my books onto. My desk was in the corner and had a new laptop on it with a bow and a note. It said ' Have fun at school, we know you'll be great'. Hmm weird. It must be from Charlie and Renee unless the school is really generous. I'd have to thank them later.
Jake's room was almost as nice as mine and nearly the same except it had a TV and video games in it. Weirdly enough it had a forest wallpaper on one side. How fitting, but how did this girl know how to set up our rooms. It was like she knew us.
" Hey Amber thanks for setting up our rooms they look great, you got us spot on."
" Your Welcome Bella I'm glad you like it. Oh and your father called for you just before you arrived."
" Thanks."
My cell was dead. Oops. Charlie picked up on the first ring.
" Hey Bella. Why didn't you call when you got in."
" I just got here like 5 minutes ago."
" Sorry. I just wanted to make sure you got there alright, so I guess I'll let you get settled in."
" Thanks. Oh wait I wanted to thank you and mom for the new laptop it was set up and everything on my desk."
" I didn't get you a laptop and neither did Renee"
" Oh I guess I ordered it and forgot. I'll talk to you later dad. Bye."
Who was the mystery laptop from? It was a little unnerving but I wasn't going to get myself upset about nothing it was probably a secret present from Jake.
Chapter 6 Strange call
After everything was settled in my room I went to go see if we needed to buy anything else for the apartment. I went to ask Amber if she got anything yet but before I could knock I heard something that made me think otherwise.
" Yeah they're all fine and settled. Bella looks like hell and Jake is really nice." Amber said quietly
I heard her on the phone talking about us to someone. Who the hell was she to be having a conversation like she knew us or something.
" Thanks again.." " Oh yeah sorry, it won't happen again."
I leaned in trying so hard to listen I lost my grip and fell on my face into her room.
" OH sorry! I tripped." I gasped my face getting red.
" It's fine Bella, no harm done." She smiled which made me really think she meant it. " I'll call you later ok? bye."
We both just stood there for a few seconds before we both tried saying something.
" So-"
" I-"
We both laughed.
" I'm sorry I barged in on your call I just came to ask you if we needed anything for the apartment."
" It's fine don't worry about it and no we don't need anything I bought everything we need. Don't worry about paying me back either my parents gave me the money."
Amber was strange but I guess if I had someone to talk to I would be gossiping the same way. I had to forget about it. I had class tomorrow and I promised Jake a night on the town.
I decided to unpack all my things, which took up only about two hours. My new dark green comforter and pillows looked great along with my shelf full of all my books. I made a mental note to go and look for a bookstore, I would need new books soon. My closet wasn't in very good shape though. It was still pretty warm here and all I had were winter clothes, since that's all I really needed in Forks. Maybe me and Amber could go shopping together. Ugh I winced at the idea. I was not good at girly stuff and Amber was as girly as anyone could get. Maybe Jake would come, it would be pretty funny to see.
I sat on my bed looking around satisfied. I heard Jake and Amber talking in the kitchen.
" So Jake it's been too long since we've chatted on the phone. How have you guys been?" Amber said clinking a coffee cup.
" Pretty busy I guess. It's hard to get things settled halfway across the country."
Amber giggled at him. How irritating. I didn't have a claim on Jacob by any means because we were not together but I still wanted a claim on him without having to be with him. No offense to Jake or anything I loved him, but as a brother. I don't think I could ever love someone again. I had my time of being in love and it seemed that was all I was allowed.
" Oh hey Bella." Jake said as I came in. " Made you some coffee."
" Thanks Jake." I smiled.
" So Bella tell me about yourself." Amber looked on with wide eyes. I'm sure she was hoping to hear something to gossip about..but then again maybe I was wrong about her I did just meet her.
" Well I lived in Phoenix for most of my life and then I moved in with my dad in Forks 3 years ago. What about you?"
" Oh I've lived in the same place with both my parents for my whole life..untill now that is. Manhattan is the only place I would ever want to live. I'm an only child too. I so wish mom and dad decided to have more kids, I've always wanted a sister!"
" I'm an only child too." I said flatly not really interested in the conversation.
" What about you Jake?" Amber said casually.
" I have two sisters. I don't see them that much though. And me and Bella have known each other since we were babies but I've stayed in Forks."
" That's so nice. It's very rare to be best friends with someone your whole life in the upper east side you know." Ohhh so Amber was one of those girls.
" Yes so rare." I said with an edge. I almost felt sorry enough to say sorry.
Luckily our phone rang before anyone could say anything. I jumped at it.
" Hello?"
" Hey, Bella?"
" Seth?"
" Hey! How's it goin?" You could always count on Seth to be happy to see you.
" I'm fine, kind of exhausted how are you?"
" Pretty good I miss you and Jake already I knew I shouldn't have hung out with you guys that much before you left!" He said jokingly.
"You have to come up and visit us. It'll be great."
" Yeah just name a date, I'm sure the other guys will wanna come up to."
" Uhh I don't think there will be enough room for all of you huge wolves in here at the same time."
I laughed but then stopped when I realized I called them wolves. I spun around stunned to look at Jake who was trying to act like nothing happened and Amber who looked confused.
" What can I say she thinks we're animals!" Jake shrugged.
" So Bella is Jake there? I need to talk to him." I don't think Seth even noticed the pause.
" Yeah why is something wrong?"
" Nope just ganna catch him up on some things. All the guys say hi by the way."
" Here he is. Tell them I say hi too."
" Jake, Seth wants to talk to you."
I watched Jacob on the phone for a half hour. He looked casual most of the time but for a little while he looked distressed. I would have to get him alone to find out what was going on in the wolf world.
" So Bella do you have anything planned for today? I need to go shopping." Amber said matter of factly. I hadn't even noticed her there she was so quiet.
" Actually no, I need to get some things too"
" It's settled then a girls day out! Jake you'll be fine here alone right?"
I looked to Jacob with a martyred face while he laughed. He didn't take pity on me.
" Yeah I'll be fine, we can go out later to dinner Bella."
Chapter 7 Girl Talk
Amber and I had spent five long, miserable hours shopping. I was lying to myself of course it wasn't all that bad. It was nice to have a girlfriend to talk to about boys. After I bought shorts, jeans, tanks, shirts, shoes, new underwear, new bras, and some skirts that Amber made me buy we sat down to drink cappuccinos and talk. I suspected Amber had been waiting all day to ask me about Jake.
" So are you two together?" Amber raised her eyebrows.
" No, not in the traditional sense."
" What's that suppose to mean Bella come on!" She didn't look satisfied.
" Well We're the best friends anyone could ever be. He knows what I'm feeling before I do and he knows the things I don't have to tell him."
" But do you like him?"
" Yes but as a friend."
" I see the way you both look at each other I just think you don't want to admit it to yourselves!"
" Jake loves me unconditionally but he knows I don't feel the same way about him."
" One day you'll see." She ended that part of the conversation rather smugly.
Maybe I was just imaging that she liked Jake, she seemed to be really trying to get us together. Who did she think she was anyways? She did not know me. I mean I think I would know if I felt that way about Jake. The one time he kissed me though-even though it was borderline assault- I thought about it for a while even though I refused to admit it. I didn't want to think any further. I mean seriously what would it mean if I have just been to suborn to admit my feelings for him. I made myself stop. I'd think about it some other time when I was not under the scrutinizing eye of Amber.
" Well we should go if you and Jake are going to make it to dinner tonight." She stood up looking at me.
" Oh yeah,yeah." I was startled after being deep in thought and I think she knew. I shook it off.
On the way back to the apartment Amber let me in on the great places to eat. I decided we would go to a burger place called oddly enough ' Burger Palace'. After Jake and I could either go to a club called 'Club Diablo' or a theater where they had student plays every night. I wasn't much for clubs but I was trying to change my life so why not right?
Once Amber and I got back to the apartment Jake was waiting. He looked really great. He was wearing a tight black shirt and jeans with oil stains on them. Classic Jacob but somehow different. I let my eyes linger on the spot of skin exposed on his stomach when he reached his arms up to stretch.
" Ready to go Bella?" He said happily.
I blinked kind of confused. What was that about?
" Uh.. yeah. Let me change real quick."
I ran to my room. For some reason I wanted to look good and that would be the exact opposite of what I looked like now. I looked at myself in the mirror disapprovingly. I had bags under my shallow eyes, my hair was uncombed and a little frizzy, my clothes were very loose and dull looking. I panicked and then remembered I live with Amber.
" Amber?" I poked my head out of my door.
" I'm in the kitchen Bella!"
" Can you come here?"
I heard her fast foot steps to my door. I looked at her and somehow she knew exactly what I wanted.
" Let's pick out an awesome outfit!"
We picked out my new pair of skinny jeans and a fitted white cotton shirt. Amber even did my make up and hair. Not to much makeup, just some foundation to even out my skin tone and get rid of the bags,blush, and cherry chapstik. My hair was even simple but great. I had light wavy curls. I looked great I had to admit to myself even if it was hard to look at myself in the mirror.
" So.. I take it you changed your mind about Jake?" Amber said while she was doing my makeup and hair at lightning speed.
" No. I just felt like looking special tonight."
" Okkkaayy." She rolled her eyes.