The first fanfic I wrote…please tell me what you think!
Disclaimer : I own nothing..
A/N : the thoughts of the characters are in Italic.
BENSON RESIDENCE, 11pm
She was sitting on our couch, her legs crossed under her, tears flowing down on her cheeks. She bit her lip as if it could send all her pain away.
She used to leave the precinct late but tonight she said she had to meet one of her advisors. But t was a lie.
It was her last chance.
This had been refused to her
She tried to handle it, but she could not.
She cried a long time till headache decided her to take medicine and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow the pain won't be there. Maybe tomorrow she'll get a phone call telling her there have been a big mistake, maybe…maybe she'd better not have dreamed. You're a cop Olivia, a cop and nothing more….she forced herself to think before sleeping.
BENSON RESIDENCE, 4am
She looked at her clock, waiting for the right time to get up to come. She could not sleep anymore. She had not really slept, just few minutes from time to time.
She thought about all the papers she had to fill in about the last case, and being early at work could help to solve this rapidly. And maybe work could avoid thinking of yesterday. She only hopes El won't come with a big smile on his face telling her about amazing Eli is. She knows she's happy for them. Well, she thinks she is happy for them. El loves his children and she can't blame him for that. But today she would just have a day full of work and nothing else.
She hardly get up, went to the bathroom to take a shower, get dressed and as a robot she left her flat to go to the closed the door, turned the key.
You're a cop, Olivia, You're a cop... act as a cop, think as a cop, do not let your emotions been shown on your face, keep smiling...Let's go.
PRECINCT, 8am
El pushed the door with a big smile on his face.
He spent a nice evening at home and wanted to share the new feats of his beloved Eli with Olivia. Some weeks ago they almost recovered their special bond he liked. They could joke again and he really valued that. Their work is hard enough, they both had hard times months ago and they really needed to have a new beginning.
He so came to Liv fully in good mood and told her lively:
"Morning Liv! How are you? Did you see that the sun…" But he was cut by a Liv getting up from her chair with an impassive face. She heard him enter the room and as she heard his steps she could easily guess he was in a good mood. If El is in a good mood in the morning it is thanks to the evening he spent. He may have had a nice evening with his kids, of course Eli or maybe he and Kat… No don't think about that or your breakfast will be spread on the floor of the office…How stupid I am…I did not have breakfast; I could not even bear the smelling of pancakes.
El: Hey Liv! What's going on?
She took a cup and filled it up with hot water.
Liv: Nothing
She placed a teabag in her cup.
El: Nothing? You're kidding? I know you, so come on…what's the matter?
She looked at him with angry eyes and passed in front of him ignoring his question. She sat at her desk and tried to going on filling the papers she had to.
He stayed there looking at her. Only the sound of someone entering the room made him move.
Fin: Hi! How are you guys?
El: Fine, thanks for asking Fin, he said looking at Liv.
She lifted her head a send a brief smile to Fin
Liv: Hi Fin
Fin stopped at his desk and turned to El with asking eyes. El just shrugged his shoulders and with a nod of his head Fin understood he did not know anything about Liv this morning.
Munch arrived few minutes later followed by Cragen.
Cragen: Morning everyone. Hope you had good rest yesterday evening…we already have a new case. I just was called. Another unit thought about a violent robbery in a house but as their Forensics came they found out that the murdered woman was raped. The main room has been devastated, it seems that there is blood on walls, in short, I want you four on the crime scene right now. Please avoid the press. I think when you'll arrive the journalists would already been there, you know it's a quiet neighbourhood, mostly inhabitants are nice families….no need to draw you a picture…what are you waiting for?
Munch: Did you receive the crystal ball I ordered last week?
Cragen: What?
Fin: Excuse him Sir, as old as he is, he still thinks his humour is great. Even if it was never the case. We need the address…
Cragen: Sorry.
He grabbed a piece of paper, wrote on it and held it out to Fin.
Cregen: Call me when you're there.
Liv: As usual!
IN FRONT OF CARPENTER HOUSE, Some minutes later.
A big crowd of neighbours stayed in front of the house, asking for details to the uniforms who hardly tried to keep some space around the house. Journalists were already in place, asking questions to people who first were shy but then proud to be on screen soon on a TV news report. Our four detectives showed their badges to everybody and made their way through the crowd.
Liv called out a detective standing in front of the house steps.
Liv: Hey you there! Could you help the uniforms to push the crowd away?
Det: Hi Beauty, sorry, it's not my job
Liv: What? It's not your job to preserve a crime scene? Your name? Your section?
Fin: Liv, it's ok, give it up, I'll fix this with him, go inside, El is waiting for you.
Liv still stared at the Det who began not to feel at ease being stared with such dark eyes.
Fin: Liv, move!
She quickly glanced at him and climbed the steps.
Det: Is she always like that?
Fin: Like what?
Det: …
Fin: Oh no! Only when she's in a good mood!
The detective stood open mouthed.
INSIDE THE CARPENTER HOUSE
Liv closed the door behind her. The crime scene was hard to look at, blood everywhere, on the couch, on the carpet, on the feet of the table. Lamps were crashed on the floor, cushions ripen, curtains torn apart, papers spread all around the room. She saw then two bodies, twisted as if they were puppets. Their clothes were torn, they were cut at different parts of their bodies, neck, legs, belly, cheeks, arms, hands…Oh my God, they fought a lot and suffered to finally die and leave this picture of them…
She was get out of her thoughts by screams. Baby screams. She looked at female agent coming from upstairs and asked her:
Liv: What's going on upstairs?
Agent: Oh my God he's a monster! We wanted to pick up the boy to place him in a social centre but no way! As anybody tries to approach him he screams and gives knocks!
Liv frowned: How old is he?
Agent: What we found is that he's name is Mathew and he's around 2 years old.
Liv smirked: And you are overwhelmed by a 2-year-old-monster-boy?
Agent: If you are so confident go upstairs and take him!
Liv: No thanks! I'm not a nanny, I'm a cop, I have something else to deal with.
El who was taking notes about the crime scene heard the talk between Liv and the agent. He looked at Liv and tried to get her attention but she avoided him and went to the kitchen. She began to note details when El came to her:
-Liv, don't you want to come with me upstairs to check the baby? We already had to deal with traumatized kids and maybe they don't know how to do, he said softly.
Liv: Go if you want, I have a lot of things to register here and I want to stay till the arrival of Warner.
El: Liv, you know you're great with kids, everybody has to do his best to get this boy out of here. He can't stay in his bedroom.
Liv sighed heavily and clenched teeth. Ok, you can do that, after all, he's a victim and as a cop you have to protect the victims.
They went upstairs and entered a sweet bedroom. Wallpaper was a light blue colour with a dark blue band in the middle, separating the top and the bottom of the wall. On the top wall there were little crescents of moon and little brown teddy bears and the ceiling lamp was a star. In the middle of the room stood a little white bed and inside, the "2-year-old-monster-boy" Mathew.
An agent was trying to pick him up but Mathew screamed and did not let anyone to approach him. El stepped into his direction but the boy saw him and rejected him by a knock from his little hands. It was clear that this kid would only accept her family to touch him. He was afraid by anybody else. Did someone freak him? Did he see someone? Something? Did he hear something? El got out of his thoughts and saw Liv still standing near the door. He saw her wipe some tears as she approached the boy. Words were soft:
Liv: Hey sweetheart! Calm down baby. I know you want your mother but calm down, sweetie…
One step more to him. She looked at him as he griped the board of his bed, still crying.
Liv: Shhh….sweetie, she said the more soft she could. She just smiled at him, and sat in front of him so that he could look at her in the eyes. She lifted her hand and took it on the bed near his own hand. El stayed behind her. He could see her smile at the baby and he knew this smile was full of compassion, but also pain. She told him she was turn down for an adoption but he knew there were other ways to become a mother. Even if he thought the best way for a kid to grown up is to be part of a real family with two parents, he knew sometimes one single parent is better than two always fighting. And Liv deserves to become a mother. What he saw then really made him sure of his thoughts. Mathew finally calmed down, he just sobbed as he hold his arms out to Liv. She lifted the little boy and took him in her arms. She wanted to make him feel secure. He rested his head on her and she placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
Liv: Everything will be alright now, sweetie, I promise, she muttered.
The agent Liv met downstairs came in:
Agent: Wow! I'm impressed, and you're not a nanny, mmmh?
Liv: Ok, everybody out, I need to clean the little angel and change his clothes, out!
El: Do you want me to help you?
Liv: Why? Because you are a proud father of the five most beautiful children in the world and I'm nothing more than a cop, so I do need your help to change a baby? Is it what you mean, Stabler? I have no skills?
El: …