disclaimer— shingeki no kyojin belongs to hajime isayama
notes— contains spoilers for episode 13.
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She feels her heart of glass rattle with every beat, but there is no beat to his heart.
Ian doesn't even have a body.
All that remains is his head, the expression on his face twisted into one of sheer horror. That was how he died, Rico realizes as she cradles him in shaking arms.
She tangles her bloody fingers in his hair when she brushes it off his forehead, and she can hardly breathe as she looks in his eyes. Those eyes that were once full of life and emotion; reduced to listless orbs of nothing that gaze right back at her. She traces her fingers down his face, grazing his cheek with her thumb, and starts crying before she even realizes she is doing so.
She regrets the way she has acted all along; putting on a front that she was tough, and hiding away her emotions and smiles and tears just to try to impress him. All she wants now is for him to see her cry—for him to hold her, and sooth the thrashing ache in her chest.
Tears blur her vision—blotting out Ian's face, his blood on her hands, and what will never be.