Summary: From a certain point of view, he understood. After all, he was Tony Stark. Didn't mean it didn't hurt.
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers.
In All Fairness
From a certain point of view, he understood. He was Tony Stark. Genius billionaire playboy philanthropist. His record was anything but squeaky clean in the socialisation department; in fact, it was downright dirty – if you catch his drift.
People needed to be forewarned, cautioned against, advised beforehand, the whole shebang, if they were planning to get further involved with him. Fortunately, it didn't happen often. With Tony Stark, most knew what they were getting. An hour or two, a night if they were lucky. The warning was for those that stuck around. Things got really messy otherwise.
Not that they didn't tend to anyways, but at least Tony could defend himself that way.
Rhodey was the first, his best friend since forever. He'd been warned by Obidiah, may that bastard rot in hell. Pepper, once it became apparent she was different from all the other PAs he'd hired previously, had been warned by Rhodey. Happy had been warned by Pepper. There the cycle had stopped. There was a happy balance struck between the four.
Even when he and Pepper had gotten involved, nothing had changed. After all, she'd already been warned. She knew.
But then the Avengers happened and suddenly it was a whole new ballgame – and Tony didn't even like baseball.
Five new people that swept in and out of his life regularly, all without warning. That had fought with him, argued with him, eaten with him, nagged him, and one of them could actually even talk to and understand him (he'd been starting to think no one spoke English anymore).
They'd been there when he and Pepper had broken up.
They'd been there when he'd drunken himself into a stupor.
They'd been there to help him back onto his feet.
It was terrifying. They hadn't been warned.
The first thing Tony had done upon that revelation was run to Pepper – yes, they were fine. She'd been warned, after all, which just made this new situation even worse. Pepper had been amused at his panic, which he was still quick to correct her on because Tony Stark did not panic, but had reassured him that if it would make him feel better – which he also corrected her on because this was for them, not him – she would talk to them.
It didn't take long for Tony to realise why Pepper had been amused and that there hadn't been any warnings given – he was a genius, after all – but by then he had also come to the same conclusions as her, so he could only retaliate by making her dig him out of his workshop again.
But it was worth it. Tony could relax now. A new balance had been struck.
And then he fell in love.
That wasn't even the worst part. What was was that of all people, of all genders, of all ages and nationality and ethnicity and personality, Tony Stark had to fall in love with the very personification of the American ideal. Captain Steve Rogers, aka Captain America.
Straight-laced, virginal, chivalrous, no-nonsense, honest, kind, fair – it had been enough to make Tony puke from the outpouring of goodness radiating from the soldier when they first met. Uptight had been listed before, too, but had since been removed once Tony really got to know the man. Yet those aforementioned qualities no longer made Tony want to puke, which just made his predicament that much worse.
Because when you did a complete one-eighty like that and lived with two spies and a genius, there was no way not one of the three had noticed. Tony knew his odds. He knew all three had noticed. He just counted his lucky stars Steve was as oblivious as they come and Thor was currently in Asgard at the moment (though Thor wasn't much better than Steve in that regard actually).
But Tony had been prepared for this eventuality. What he hadn't been prepared for was Pepper, not because he didn't think she would have been able to tell with just a glance because this was Pepper he was talking about here, but because she was supposed to be in D.C., which was nowhere near New York and thus should not have been a problem at all because he would have been prepared for her too by the time she came back if she hadn't come back early. But because she was...
She saw through him with one glance. Of course. Took one look at him and sighed, "Oh, Tony."
Because really, who was he kidding? Who in their right mind would think him a good match for Captain America? Even if he had stopped drinking, had stopped partying, had stopped the one night stands, had all but taken out an ad in the New York Times proclaiming his abstinence, it didn't change anything. It didn't erase the red in his ledger.
Captain America's first relationship should be with a wholesome girl, someone kind and understanding, warm and caring. The complete opposite of Tony Stark in every way. Tony knew that very well and yet he had gone and fallen for the World War II soldier anyways.
But Tony just shrugged in response. "Could have been worse. I could have fallen for Natasha."
Pepper laughed. Then she asked gently, "So what are you going to do?"
Tony shrugged again. "Nothing. I've got no chance –"
"And that's stopped you before when?"
"– the public would be in an uproar –"
"And you've cared about that when?"
"– it would make things awkward for the team –"
"And you know that how?"
"Pep, I can't risk it!" Tony finally burst.
"You risked us," Pepper reminded patiently.
"And look how that almost turned out!"
"Almost," Pepper stressed. "We're fine now, aren't we?"
"You were warned!" Pepper was looking amused again. Tony's shoulders slumped. "Pep, it's Captain America. Tell me you honestly believe it's a good match."
Pepper was quiet for a moment and even though Tony should have expected it, the confirmation still stung.
"Honestly, Tony? You're right. Captain America and Tony Stark would be a terrible match."
"Ouch, Pep –"
But Pepper wasn't finished. "But Tony Stark and Steve Rogers? That remains to be seen. And you won't ever find out that answer if you don't try, Tony."
That threw Tony for a loop, but not enough that he didn't still have a rebuttal ready. "That's even worse! Steve is just – he's too decent! Too good! With Captain America I may be screwing over a national icon, but Steve?" Tony looked at Pepper with desperate eyes, his voice quiet with gravity. "I don't know if I'd forgive myself, Pepper."
Pepper was almost stunned speechless by the emotion hidden in Tony's words, but she held herself together with an iron will so she could respond, taking one of Tony's hands in hers, patting it. "Then that's already enough. I know you, Tony. Once you put your mind to doing something, nothing can stand in your way. And you're determined not to hurt Steve."
Tony could have continued arguing his point, but he wasn't a genius for nothing. He could already tell how the conversation would continue from here. Pepper had made her point.
"Thanks, Pep."
Pepper nodded. She could almost see the cogs turning in Tony's brain at light speed, as usual. "Promise you'll think about it?"
Tony nodded. "Promise."
And things did work out. After Steve was finally clued in to what was going on. Which brought Tony back to the beginning of his whole reminiscence, which all inclusive, with his brain, hadn't taken very long at all.
He did understand. Steve was still Steve and Tony was still Tony. No matter how you looked at it, despite Pepper's reassurances, the fact remained that Tony could hurt Steve in so many ways. He had a sordid past that could rear its head at the ugliest times, namely one Vanity Fair reporter, and personal issues a mile long. He was messed up.
Meanwhile, on the complete opposite side of the spectrum, Steve was in his first ever relationship. Zero experience, perfect gentleman, and just so damn innocent! He still blushed if Natasha strode into the room in a tank top, for God's sake! And averted his eyes politely whenever Tony or anyone else changed in the same room as him.
It made Tony almost afraid to touch Steve at all for fear of tainting him. He'd never felt so hesitant in his life. Unfortunately, that didn't help dim his libido, which again, everybody was aware of except Steve. Which was probably how this all started.
The warnings.
Pepper was easiest because she knew how hard he was trying, even if she didn't know the full extent of it. Relationship problems was one thing, but a line had to be drawn somewhere and he chose discussing his nonexistent sex life with his ex-girlfriend. So if she warned him to be patient and take it slow, he would pretend he was listening while simultaneously metaphorically bleaching his brain.
But then came the others. Bruce had told him that he really hated letting the Hulk out, so if he forced his hand, he'd have double the reason to smash him. Natasha had gone right for the jugular and threatened his sexual capacity as a whole. Clint had told him in a very un-Cupid way that he'd shoot an arrow straight through Tony's heart if anything happened to Steve's because of him. Thor had even dropped in to give him a brief lesson on the laws on Asgard regarding relationships between warriors and the punishments associated with breaking those laws.
Tony wasn't even surprised when Coulson threatened to taser him. He would have been more surprised if SHIELD, Coulson especially, didn't know about him and Steve. What was a surprise was Rhodey – for a split second anyways, until he remembered War Machine and thus JARVIS. And the warning was more caution due to Tony's previous track record than anything else since Rhodey hadn't actually met Steve yet.
Tony understood their necessity, maybe even appreciated it from a very narrow standpoint – further incentive not to screw things up for himself. The problem was he really didn't need that; he had more than enough as it was. No one knew better than him that he couldn't mess this up. No one feared that outcome more than he did. It had been his primary reason for not starting anything at all, after all. The stakes were just so high. If things went wrong, he could lose everything.
Like now.
It started with Natasha this time. She'd come back from a private conversation with Steve looking frustrated. And when she'd entered the kitchen and seen Tony, there'd been something in her expression Tony couldn't read before she covered it up masterfully. But it had been there.
That was when Tony got a bad feeling.
Next was Bruce. He came back pinching the bridge of his nose, his glasses held in his other hand, sighing, a sure sign he was stressed. When he'd seen Tony, he'd looked apologetic. Clint had sworn up a storm. But confirmation for Tony came from Coulson who, after his conversation with Steve, came up to Tony and first apologised because it wasn't exactly fair, but he'd already tried that and it had just brought him here – at which point Tony had asked if there was a point to this in a very nonchalant tone that he hadn't been feeling at all.
"I won't threaten to taser you again. That would just be redundant. Just don't hurt him, Stark."
That was when Tony knew.
Warnings. Steve was finally being advised, being warned, being cautioned against being with him. Tony should have expected it. He had expected it. It was only natural, after all. They were a train wreck waiting to happen. And Tony was the train that would ruin them both.
What do you know, he thought wearily. The truth does hurt.
Yet nothing changed. Steve, for whatever reason, was still with him. Gave no indication of any turmoil or indecision. Still spent time with him in his workshop, sketching or reading, still sat by him when they watched movies, still dragged him from his work to eat meals and shower and sleep. Even the rest of the Avengers, after their separate conversations with Steve, never seemed to bring it up again.
And though Tony was itching to just have it all out in the open, he was wary of his good fortune. Especially after Thor. He couldn't make heads or tails out of what had gone on during that conversation and he was a genius. It had been just like a normal visit. Tony wasn't superstitious, but he took it as a sign.
But then Pepper arrived.
Tony had been down in his lab at the time and didn't realise until JARVIS informed him Steve would be delayed in joining him because Pepper wanted to talk to him.
Tony slowly put down his tools, not understanding. Pepper too? But she'd been so supportive of them. Well, okay, the others had been too, but he'd talked about this with Pepper. She knew he was trying his best not to mess up. And Pepper wasn't one to change her mind so easily.
Curiosity reared its head.
"JARVIS?"
"My apologies, sir, but Miss Potts anticipated your reaction and took measures against it."
Tony cursed. Giving Pepper override codes was all well and good until it came to bite him in the ass like it did now. "What about where they are now?"
"Miss Potts also asked me to inform you that this is a private conversation between her and Captain Rogers."
"But did she say you couldn't tell me?" Tony pressed.
There was a pause before JARVIS answered, "The kitchen, sir. The rest of the Avengers are currently steering clear of the area."
Tony dismissed that last note. "Thanks, JARVIS."
"You're welcome, sir."
"Where are the rest of the team then?"
"Miss Romanoff and Mr. Barton are currently in the gym, Mr. Odinson is still in Asgard, and Dr. Banner is currently in his lab."
Good, no one to stop him then. The only problem was that serum-enhanced hearing of Steve's. Nothing to be done about that now.
Nothing to be done period, Tony found out as he stepped out of the elevator to find Pepper and Steve exiting the kitchen and entering the living room. Both turned to him and Pepper raised an eyebrow.
"Conversations are called private for a reason, Tony," she chastised without heat, having expected something like this. As Tony shrugged unapologetically, Pepper turned back to Steve. "Nice talking to you, Steve. I already knew I was leaving Tony in good hands, but confirmation never hurts. Take care of him please."
"The pleasure was mine, Miss Potts – Pepper," Steve corrected when the CEO gave him a look. "And I'll try my best."
Pepper smiled. "Well, I need to be leaving. I have another meeting in an hour."
"I'll see you out –"
"That's alright, Steve. I need Tony to sign something since he's here anyways. He can walk me."
Pepper pulled Tony away, who was processing the information he'd just received but not understanding it. No, he just wasn't believing the conclusions he was drawing.
"You were right," Pepper told him once the elevator doors closed. "He's a saint."
"You weren't warning him about me," Tony said, almost talking to himself, and Pepper stopped to listen. "And if you weren't, that means they weren't. And if you were actually warning him, that means they were, which means you actually thought he would hurt me, which is ridiculous because you just said yourself Steve's a saint, which means you can't have been warning him –"
"I was," Pepper interjected calmly. "It's called caring about you."
"Coulson would not threaten to taser Steve for me," Tony denied. The very picture didn't make sense.
"He was very apologetic about it, I heard," Pepper said, amused. "But said he had to say it in all fairness. And when Steve was completely understanding –"
"It just made Coulson want to threaten to taser me all over again if I hurt Cap," Tony finished, everything coming together now. A thought came to him as he remembered Natasha's indecipherable look, now readable as guilt – fairness, right – Bruce's apologetic look, and Clint's swearing. A grin spread across his face as he finally started to relax. "He drove you all crazy, didn't he?"
"It was certainly a little frustrating," Pepper admitted, "but all the more enlightening because of it. He understood and accepted all the consequences I listed that would come with hurting you like it was a given. And when it came to arguing his case..." Pepper shook her head. "It almost made me want to see how far I could push him –"
"You and everybody else, apparently," Tony inserted dryly.
"– but I knew you couldn't be too far away and I suspect it only would have made me more frustrated, if your 'crazy' comments are anything to go by, which I don't need before a big meeting."
"Smart choice. I knew I made you CEO for a reason."
"Not at all so you could focus on being Ironman, right?" Pepper quipped playfully.
"Not at all," Tony swore with a grin.
Pepper glanced at her watch. "I have to go now. I'd give you a proper warning now in the name of fairness, but since I relented with Steve, I suppose I'll have to do so with you as well. Take care, Tony."
"You too, Pep."
Tony let the elevator doors slide closed again silently. He had a lot to think about.
By the time Tony stepped back onto the floor of the communal living area, he had made a decision. Which was only slightly thrown off when he found the rest of the Avengers had returned. Even Thor.
"No fair! She got off easy!"
"That's your own fault for not quitting yourself while you were ahead."
"Guys –"
"I was not aware the conversation was meant to be a battle. How did I fare?"
"Considering you're the only one that didn't get a headache, I'd say you won."
"Considering the boyfriend is mine, I'd say I won actually."
Cue blush, but also a smile at his appearance. Tony walked up to Steve as if he did it everyday and planted a kiss on his lips before grinning at the spreading red at that. "Wouldn't you?" he asked casually.
There was a split second pause as everyone took that in because that was, honest to God, the first time Tony had initiated a kiss in front of all of them. Then,
Clint snorted. "Considering you're part of the battle, I'd say you're ineligible."
And that started everyone up again.
Almost everyone. Tony stared up at Steve who was still watching him and Tony was almost about to start panicking when Steve finally smiled.
And ducked down to kiss him on the cheek fleetingly before promptly blushing again.
It was Tony's turn to stare in wonder as the argument continued around him and Steve. He barely resisted the urge to pinch himself. Previously he'd been too scared to make too bold a move and Steve had never initiated anything, content to just sit by him or sling an arm around him. But maybe he had just been waiting for Tony to lead so he could follow. After all, Steve was new to relationships, new to this era in general. It was only logical.
And if Steve was willing to try, Tony could do no less.
All in fairness, right?
Tony sealed that with another kiss.
.
.
.
.
When Rhodey came knocking, Tony settled down with popcorn to watch the oncoming headache. So did the rest of the Avengers.