Guess what, this computer will blow up if you read my story. Beware...
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Has your computer blown up yet? ...
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By the way I don't own anything I mean anything or everything if that's what you want.
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Hermione Granger was exactly the same as was she was five years ago, she was twenty-two years old, she works for – 'I DON'T WORK FOR ANYONE, I WORK FOR MYSELF, I AM –,' that was Hermione, please just wait a minute.
(Screaming and bashing around in the background, the world shakes.)
'Thankyou for your patience,' that's me.
So I'll continue with her story. She was the same as ever (Hermione grumbles behind me) same bushy hair which she layered just now, apart from that she was the same, very straight, very plain. She was a teacher in Hogwarts and the Head of Magical Defence and Research. Yes, she was the same as ever and she had an unhealthy taste for books and pies. Sigh.
'HEY!!! IT'S ME. Ginny Weasley. Remember MMMEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!,' that must have the one and only Ginny. Please just wait maybe two minutes.
(The world shakes, the sound of tables and chairs being thrown around and crashing and thumping, Hermione rolls into a ball and whimpers)
'Very sorry for the interruption,' that's me again.
Now Hermione had very busy life getting filthy rich, well trying to be filthy rich, Harry and Ron were Aurors but their lives might come later for let us ignore them and – 'HOW DARE YOU IGNORE US, !#$%&!#$%&!!!!!!!!!!,' Harry and Ron are very annoying. Just wait and if you're bored be free to lie down and drive a knife... in your hair (if you have any).
(Yelling and screaming, windows being broken, punching and the house collapse around them and Harry and Ron fall out from a hole in the ceiling)
'I WANT MY BLOODY STORY TO CONTINUE SO SSHHHHUUUTTT UUUPP!!!!!!!!!!' that's me angry. Just then an Elven army of ten thousand strong with Legolas (obviously coming to annoy me) leading, hear this and say in perfectly rehearsed unison.
'Sure man, it's just like, yo, rite man we'll party back in our hot palaces, dude, sweet,' ......weird absolutely weird, that's the Elven army. They ...go away.
Legolas decided to go crazy. 'But WHY is the RUM gone?' that was Legolas. Jack Sparrow jumps out of the ground and says... 'That's my line,' he disappears.
I will ignore them, Hermione was twenty-two years old, a teacher in Hogwarts, Head of Magical Defence and Research, she exactly the same as she was five years ago. It was Sunday, a resting day for Hermione her only day off (and also for a thousand million other wizards too). She usually slept on her day off and then would rest the whole day. But while she slept she had a dream of...black things, black screens and black eyelids.
Her next day at work she bumped in a wall, the next day she fell over the table, the next day she found hands after panicking about no being able to find them, the next day she bumped into Draco Malfoy, the next day, hey wait a minute, right, she bumped into Draco Malfoy, they started a Laughing Contest. Several people signed up and they both got heaps of money and acted civilly, the next day she bumped into Draco Malfoy. Catastrophe. 'Malfoy...' she smiled evilly 'your shoelaces are untied.'
'Granger...' he smiled evilly 'I like doughnuts.' They walked away.
Hermione bumped into Draco Malfoy the next day. 'Granger, how long was it since you grew that tooth of yours, oh dear its still there,' he smiled evilly.
'Malfoy, I still see that ferret painted across your face,' she smiled evilly.
Something clicks. The director jumps up.
'Cut, that was terrific turn the lights back on, lets just try that one more time I have to get this movie right,' said the director
'Ok,' D and H says
'Granger, how long was it since you grew that tooth of yours, oh dear its still there,' he smiled evilly.
'Malfoy, I still see that ferret painted across your face,' she smiled evilly.
'Cut, good, good,' the director says.
After that shoot Draco decided to lie down and drive a knife... in his hair. So Hermione... went home to have a shower and sorted out some papers.
Sauron sent an army of orcs to my house. 'Annoy the author, annoy the author,' chanted the orcs. 'REALLY I CAN'T EVEN WRITE A DECENT PAGE OF WRITING WITHOUT YOU PEOPLE BARGING IN!!!!!!#$%&' that's me extremely angry 'YOU MIGHT AS WELL DO THE TURKISH DANCE!!!'
So the orcs said 'Ok.' They started dancing and Sauron was the DJ.
'Hey you left me out!' screamed Dumbledore and he started dancing like crazy, the music (source unknown) became a slow romantic dance. The orcs started to dance slowly, you could almost say they were gay. Dumbledore was dancing with an invisible force called a very dainty name Air. Sauron was tragically playing the violin.
How do other people write good stories, no fair!!#$%&
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Very sorry for the annoying character being drunk and not being themselves, very sorry.
Review and you will get more craziness or if you ask for romance, mystery, action/adventure, humour, angst or would you like to go on strike either way I will ... keep on ... shooting animals at home...with a camera. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA