"Oh my gosh, bae!"
Lancer felt a pair of arms go around his neck, nearly causing him to drop his fishing pole into the water. Judging from the voice, he assumed it was Atosaki.
But no, he turned around to see a complete stranger: a slightly androgynous-looking girl with mid-length black hair which framed her face. It was tied in a short ponytail at the back. She wore a boy's dress shirt and khaki pants and kept bouncing up and down in excitement, brown eyes all aglow.
"Bae?" he asked slowly, unfamiliar with such a term.
"You're my Dutch poop!" the girl proclaimed as she pulled away from him.
"But I'm Irish."
"Don't shatter my hopes and dreams! Bae will never love me anyway because you don't really exist!"
"Wh-what...? That doesn't even… Do I know you?"
"No, but I'm Deux," she said, "and your life is in my hands."
With that, Lancer returned to fishing.
"Hey, don't ignore me! I'm serious here."
He looked back at Deux with an exasperated look on his face.
"Is there something you want from me?"
"It would be nice if you'd love me," she mumbled, pouting. "Then again, no one wants to read a boring story like that. Think of the viewership!"
Lancer's eye twitched involuntarily.
"Anyway, like I said," Deux continued, "your life is in my hands. Anything could happen, you know. So just be on the lookout, okay?"
"Lemme guess. God complex, stalker with a crush, new incarnation of Grail-kun…?"
"Ahh, bae is breaking my heart… I'm only a writer. End of story." Long pause. "Oh, would you look at that, I made a joke. End of story, like, a writer writes a story… and ends it…"
"Why me," Lancer sighed, palming his forehead.
"Fine, fine, I'll—"
"Lancer!"
He looked up and spotted a familiar dark-haired girl running down the dock. Now that he thought about it, Deux actually rather resembled Atosaki, or vice versa.
"Oops, time to go. Bae, be good!"
The next thing he knew, Deux cannonballed into the ocean and disappeared with a splash.
"…What the actual hell just happened."
"Lancer?" Atosaki approached his side, looking slightly confused. "Was there someone here just now?"
He forced a grin. "Ah, no, not at all."
"Huh, I could have sworn…"
Lancer shuddered a bit at the thought. "Nope. Nothing."
Atosaki smiled before putting her arms around his neck just like Deux had.
"I won't worry about it then."
"Right, best if you… Eh?"
Lancer noticed a ball of paper lying next to him. Hesitantly he picked it up and uncrumpled it.
Scribbled on the parchment was a short note: And then crack ensued.
"…?!"