Thor stands at a fair distance from me, his face contorted into something I've never seen, not even during that time that we first slept together and he so afraid he'd break me. I notice many things at once: the half-frown he sports that is an open declaration that he is so worried he didn't even know he is frowning; the way he purses his lips slightly as if a line or word he needs to say is so heavy that it weighs down on his lips; even the way his gaze seems to shake whilst looking at me, darting from eye to eye, yet afraid to look at either. What is troubling him I can find out later. Now, I just need to make him feel better. I reach my right hand to his cheek and he almost shudders away from me. I withdraw my touch immediately.
"What's wrong, Thor?" I ask, concerned.
"Loki." Thor states, in a voice that only further proves my deduction that Thor is frightened.
"Tell me what's wrong, my darling." I attempt to comfort Thor. Since my touch and presence did nothing to ease his discomfort, I resort to getting him to talk.
The next moment, my heart as good as stops. Hidden behind a wall, I couldn't see our parents, but now they remove themselves from secrecy and walk over to us, eyes of fire bearing into my soul.
Although Thor and I aren't blood related, we are technically and lawfully brothers, and it is still very taboo. As for the icing on the cake? Well, our parents are homophobic. So I can only imagine the onslaught of fiery words and blows they would strike me with. Instead, I was greeted with ice.
"Come with us, Loki." Father orders simply, before walking to their bedroom. I follow. Mother and Father sit down on the bed, but face me.
"We can't have you being with Thor." Father told me. I had braced myself for the punch but only got a warning. Their response was so positive that I forgot how to think for a moment.
"We want you out." Father continues. And there it is: the words that explain their previous calmness. I look to Mother, only then registering the horrified expression on my face. Mother had always been kinder tk me than Father, but now she only looked away with tears brimming her eyes.
"What do you mean?" I ask, though it took all of my strength. I feel the panic slowly creeping into my body, starting from my fingertips, which immediately made them recoil into a fist. Being under the same roof was the only way I was able to get to Thor, without this house, there would be no future for me and Thor, who is everything to me. I gave my heart and soul on a silver platter to Thor, I devoted so much to him. He is The One for me, I am absolutely certain. The manner in which I had to meet him doesn't matter a thing. It couldn't.
"We want you to pack your things and leave. You are no longer our son." Father announces. I hear a loud hit against the door but only Mother perks her head up to look. I know it's Thor. I am stunned still, unable to comprehend the words they were saying. What did they even mean? They'd already told me I was adopted before. Unless..
"Are you disowning me?" I demand, raising my voice and making the tears roll down Mother's face.
"You're eighteen, therefore you are a legal adult. If you were younger, we'd have to get you emancipated. Change your name, we won't have someone like you tarnish the Odinson name." Father continues in a voice that is scarily, unnaturally like himself. It is too calm for him. He's already thought this through. He'd, no, they'd already made up their mind.
"What will it be?" I ask, knowing nothing of my biological parents.
"Whatever you want." Father replies.
I take one step backwards, nearly falling over, and I glance at both Mother and Father. Father stares right at me, unforgiving, hateful. Mother cannot even look at me. The fucking coward. I turn on my heel and I open the bedroom door, finding that Thor had left. Perhaps the reality of the situation was too hard for him, but now I spare no sympathy for him. I head upstairs, to where both my bedroom and Thor's are, and instead of turning into mine, I walk straight ahead, barging into Thor's bedroom.
"Fuck you." I seeth, glaring at Thor so hard his eyes could start to burn. I then raise my voice to a yell but not loud enough that Mother and Father can hear. "How could you do this to me?"
Thor doesn't look at me, his gaze is directed instead to the portion of the wall behind me.
"I was wrong about you. You aren't brave, or strong. You're a filthy coward. You're afraid of yourself and you take it out on me. It won't change you. You're still the same Thor who fell in love with his younger brother and got him kicked out."
"Enough!" I hear Father's true colours shine in that booming voice of his. I do not turn.
"Go. Now!" Father demands.
Only now does Thor look at me. I take this opportunity to give him a last lethal stare, before turning on my heel to head into my room, avoiding ever looking at Father. No.
Odin.
I take my green suitcase from the side of the room and I put all the clothes and items I can into it. I then pull my duffel bags down from the shelf and I throw the rest of my possessions into them. It takes all of fifteen minutes, before I carry all of the bags and the suitcase out of my room, when I find Thor standing near the top of the stairs.
He looks straight at me, tears forming and his lip quivering. I feel that eat away at my heart but I do not let it show. Instead, I show him a hardened expression.
"I'm sorry." Thor apologises, but I do not grace it with a reply. I struggle with my three duffel bags and one suit case down the stairs and at first, I almost trip, but Thor catches hold of my left arm in time.
"Get off me, you oaf." I retaliate, shaking his grip off of me. I throw the duffel bag full of only clothes down, and then I continue with more ease down the stairs. I used the insult Thor hated most because I knew it would hurt him deepest, and that is all I want to do.
I ignore Mother's sobs and I leave through the front door. It would be the last time I ever stepped foot in that house.