So this is my first ever Big Time Rush story. I hope I don't screw anything up! Erin Sanders is one of my fave Nickelodeon actresses. I loved her as Quinn on Zoey 101 and I love her even more as Camille on this show. So this is my little Camille-centered story!
Disclaimer: I don't own these characters, yo!
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It was the stupid audition's fault. Yeah, that was it. It had chipped away at her armor, exhausting her and making her vulnerable.
If she hadn't been so frazzled from showing up to the audition having prepared the wrong script…or if the casting director hadn't seemed like such a sleaze ball that she wouldn't have taken the role if it'd been offered to her on a silver platter…or if she hadn't realized that every teen role available seemed to be some stupid girl pining away over some stupid boy which reminded her of her own very painfully stagnant love life…this never would have happened.
As it was, there Camille was, trudging towards the elevator, hoping desperately to make it up to her room without further incident. She just needed a nice long bubble bath, some sparkling cider (since she was too young for wine) and maybe a romance novel. No, not a romance novel. That would probably just make things worse. Maybe something angry. With lots of gore. Yeah, that seemed like a much better idea.
As she watched the elevator doors close, the only thing she wanted was to be alone. Alas, it was not to be.
"Hey Camille!" The last person and the only person she wanted to see hopped into the elevator just before the doors slid closed. She tried to muster up a smile, but it felt like more of a grimace. It must have looked like one, too, since Logan's cheerful expression morphed into one of concern. "Hey, what's wrong? Are you okay?"
Oh, this was just great. She did not want to have this conversation. So she pulled further back into the corner of the elevator, mustered up her best cheerful face and said, "I'm fine."
"Hey, we're friends. You can talk to me." He stood there looking at her so concerned and beautiful that her heart soared and ached all at the same time and she just wanted to reach out and kiss him like she'd done once and maybe that would make everything better. She opened her mouth to reiterate that she was, indeed, fine, but that was not what came out.
"It's just—don't you ever get tired of love being this jumbled mess of existential nonsense?" Camille couldn't believe it as she heard the words coming out of her mouth, but it was too late to stop them now. As an actress, she was used to being in control, controlling emotions and feeling what she needed to feel to embrace a part. It was weird to play herself for once.
Logan looked floored, not expecting that question at all. "I—what?"
She'd gone this far. Might as well keep going. "I mean, if you think about it, it's really not all that complicated. You like someone, if they like you, great! If they don't, then just freaking get over it. Why does it always have to be this complicated mess where everyone dances around the obvious so that it turns into one huge soap opera?" The more she thought about it, the more it made sense. Why not just take life by the horns and take a chance? What was the worst that could happen?
Logan blinked at her. "I'm trying to think of what kind of TV show you're auditioning for, but I'm drawing a blank here."
It was like she didn't even here him speak. This sudden moment of clarity and bravery overtook her and she wanted to say the words. "Look, I'm just tired of doing this whole angsty teenager stuff and obsessing about love or whatever. So here it is…"
And then the moment that changed everything.
"I like you."
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"And then I told her that she was going to just have to get over it!"
"Logan!" Kendall gaped at his best friend. "You didn't." He just couldn't believe it. His genius friend couldn't have been stupid enough to actually say this.
Logan paced back and forth as his three band mates sat on the couch, listening in fascinated horror to Logan's account of his elevator encounter with Camille. "I didn't mean to! I panicked! And anyway, those were her words, not mine!"
"There are just some things you don't say to a girl!" Carlos yelled. "Even I know that!"
"You could have at least let her down easy," James chided. "If you don't like her, you should have told her nicely."
Logan sighed. "That's the thing! I don't know if I don't like her! I mean, I like her as a friend but she blindsided me!"
Kendall scoffed in disbelief. "Please, there's no way you could have not known she didn't like you!"
A considering look crossed Logan's face as he thought about it. "Well I mean, I guess I did. But it's just kinda something I pushed to the side and figured I'd sort it out later."
Just then, Katie came storming in, an eleven year-old whirlwind of anger. "What did you do to Camille?"
"Logan did it!" three voices chimed in, all pointing to the friend in question as Kendall, James, and Carlos jumped to their feet.
Logan gaped, opening and closing his mouth like fish out of water before he could finally say something. Sure Katie was younger than them, but she was far more devious than they could ever dream of being and she was not someone to be messed with. "I didn't do anything!"
Katie glowered as she marched up to Logan. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down so that he was eyelevel with her. "Oh really? Then why is she sitting in her room crying her eyes out and ripping up pictures of you?"
Logan winced. "To be fair, I wasn't even aware that she had pictures of me—OW!" Katie had let go of his collar and had grabbed hold of his ear, twisting it until Logan dropped to his knees.
"That doesn't matter! Whatever you did, fix it!"
"Alright Katie, let go of Logan," Kendall said as pulled his little sister away from his friend. Logan rubbed his ear gingerly and hid behind James lest Katie break free. "How do you know Camille was crying?"
"The whole pool can hear her! I finally went up there to try to get her to shut up when I saw her pining over that idiot!" She pointed accusingly at Logan.
"You're not even friends," Logan squeaked from behind James.
Katie shrugged. "Well she's the only other person here other than you guys that I can stand! And she'll talk to me about girl stuff and really, no one should ever look that pathetic. So apologize!"
Kendall and James exchanged looks. "Maybe sending Logan in right now isn't the best idea."
"Unless you want him to die," James said thoughtfully.
"Don't say anything!" Kendall interrupted as Katie opened her mouth to speak.
She crossed her arms and glared, finally saying, "Well someone has to talk to her! Jo's out of town and I tried to talk to her but all I got out of her were some weird grumbling sounds and, I think, a curse word or two."
"Kendall will go," Carlos volunteered. "He's already used to her hitting him, right?"
Kendall rolled his eyes. "Gee, thanks Carlos, I really felt like dying today."
Katie perked up. "So you'll go?"
"I didn't say that!"
"Please?" And there it was…that puppy dog face. He was doomed.
---
As he approached Camille's door, Kendall couldn't shake the feeling that he was about to face a firing squad and there was no way he was coming out of there without at least a few bruises (and maybe a missing head). He was about to knock when he hear running footsteps behind him. He turned and there was James breathing hard, hands on his knees.
"Elevator was taking to long. Ran up the stairs. Couldn't let you do it alone, man," James panted.
"Thanks," Kendall said with a grin.
James nodded. "Let's do this."
Kendall knocked twice, but there was no answer. Part of him was tempted to head back to their room and tell Katie that he'd at least tried, but his stupid good guy conscience wouldn't let him do it. So he turned the knob, and there was Camille, curled up in the center of the couch, in a dark living room lit sporadically by candles as she cried. There were scraps of paper scattered around her, which Kendall could only assume were pictures of Logan. Katie was right. It was pretty pathetic and really, really sad. He could see why his sister had gone on her little rampage.
"Camille?" Kendall said tentatively as he walked slowly into the room, James close behind him. She didn't acknowledge either of them, even as Kendall flipped on the lights and James shut the door. "Are you okay?" he asked stupidly, because that was the only thing he could think of.
"Can you please just go away?" She didn't look up and her voice was painfully feeble. Kendall tried to suppress the panic he felt at the sound. He wasn't really good with girls, and he was especially terrible when it came to the crying kind. Once when his sister's hamster had died, she'd cried for days and to cheer her up he made some stupid joke about being able to feed cats. Needless to say, that had turned out disastrously.
"We can't do that Camille," Kendall told her, trying to keep his voice calm as he sat next to her on the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No!" she wailed, even as she turned to him and threw herself into his arms. A torrent of sobbing filled the room and Kendall stiffly put his arms around her and patted her back the way he'd seen his mom do with Katie when she cried. James stood to the side and gave Kendall an encouraging thumbs-up.
Camille spoke again. "I'm sure Logan's told you all about what happened."
Kendall wasn't sure whether she wanted him to say yes or no. "Uh no. No, Logan hasn't mentioned anything." Camille's breathing became ragged and another storm of tears was imminent. Behind her, James frantically shook his head, mouthing, "say yes! say yes!" "I—uh—I mean yes! Yes. Logan told us."
"You must think I'm an idiot, don't you?"
"I—uh—no. Not stupid." Well, not as stupid as Kendall felt, anyway. "Brave. Yeah, that's right! Brave! It takes a lot of courage for a girl to tell a guy she likes him when he obviously doesn't—"
Wrong thing to say. The room filled with anguished howls as James slapped his hand to his face and shook his head.
"I didn't mean obviously!" Kendall shouted to be heard above Camille. "I just meant that—that—there weren't really any signs that Logan liked you and you took a big risk? That was pretty awesome."
"It didn't feel awesome," Camille mumbled into his shirt.
"Well a lot of the bravest things don't." Kendall really wasn't sure what was coming out of his mouth at this point. He just hoped that it was at least working a little bit.
"You know what's stupid?" she sniffled. "Before I told Logan I liked him, I was going on and on about how dumb it was that we made love so complicated. I said something about how if someone didn't like you back, you just had to get over it. And now look at me! I'm a me-e-ess!"
Pity welled up in Kendall and he just wanted to see her smile again. "You're not a mess, you're just…not yourself. And hey, maybe raccoon eyes are in this season?" Damn it. Strike two. Perhaps it was a bad idea to try to make jokes when other people were crying…James was covering his ears now, Camille's crying had gotten so loud. It was like a sound rollercoaster in there. And Kendall was pretty sure that his shirt was now 90% liquid.
"No one will ever love me!" she cried. Kendall wasn't sure how she'd gotten from raccoon eyes to being alone forever, but he really didn't know what to do here.
"Don't worry! You'll find someone! You're nice, you're pretty—"
Camille shook her head violently. "Not like Jo. You guys were all over her when she first got here."
"Well, to be fair when we first met you, you slapped me and so the crazy outweighed the cute—" That was, once again, the wrong thing to say as Camille burst into tears once again, burying her face into Kendall's shirt. This crying girl thing was definitely not his strong point. He looked helplessly at James, who had always been good with girls. Granted it was the dating part he was good at, but maybe that could carry over into the comforting part?
James rolled his eyes, sat down next to Camille and carefully extricated her from Kendall. She immediately threw her arms around James and started soaking his shirt with tears as he awkwardly patted her hair in what he must have thought was a comforting way.
"Listen Camille, the crazy was a good thing!" The wails got louder, and Kendall glared at James as the pretty boy grimaced. This was not better. "I mean, who knows if we would have been friends if we'd been all over you? And that would be a real shame. You're really awesome, you know?"
The storm of tears lowered to a smattering of sniffles as Camille pulled away ever so slightly and looked up at James. To Kendall, she looked heartbreakingly vulnerable as she rubbed the tears from her cheeks. "You think so?"
"Absolutely," James said with a grin, one that Camille couldn't help but return. "There's that smile." He hugged her again. It was weird. James wasn't a selfish guy, but it was strange for Kendall to see him being so…considerate. But it seemed to be just what Camille needed right now.
Kendall sat awkwardly next to them, not really knowing what to say. "Is there anything we could get for you?" he asked. "You know, ice cream? Chocolate? Girl movies?"
Camille's laugh was a little wobbly, but it was a laugh nonetheless and it made Kendall feel a little glow of pride for making that happen. "Way to conform to every female heartbreak stereotype."
"We just want you to feel better," Kendall said honestly, because there was nothing else to say…no flippant response, no cute quip, just that offer of friendship.
A small sigh escaped Camille's lips before she straightened, pulling away from James' embrace and squaring her shoulders resolutely. "I will. You know what? I really will! I've spent enough time worrying about Logan Mitchell. If he doesn't want me then it's—it's his loss! I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who'd be more than happy to date me!" By the time Camille was finished with her speech, she was on her feet, fist high and voice raised.
James joined her. "That's the spirit!" he cheered.
"Right! I'll find him eventually…just…after we get some ice cream?"
---
So I'm not a huge fan of the whole Camille/Logan thing. It's cute and all, but I think I'd prefer her with someone like Kendall. Or, after Big Time Break, James. So this is my "Camille gets over Logan" story. And after seeing that episode, it wasn't at all hard for me to see James comforting Camille. Hopefully my grasp of the characters will improve the more I write them!
This will probably be a multi-parter. Whether it's a 2-3 part story centered on Camille fully getting over Logan or a longer story pairing her with Kendall or James (sorry Carlos!), I'm not sure yet. But please feel free to let me know your thoughts on that, as well as any other constructive criticism you might have, in a review! No flames, please. If you don't like it, I'd love to know why and what I can work on to make this story better!
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