Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the characters. If I did I'd be singing and dancing with them.
Notes: Response to a prompt on the LJ glee_angst_meme link. My attempt at an angsty fic so let me know if it was a success or an epic fail. If fail is your answer a note on how to make it a success would be appreciated :) Enjoy!
Relationships are supposed to be a two way street. They are built on compromise and respect for each other, you give and you get. Kurt was tired of doing all the giving.
Kurt had been in a relationship (if you could even call it that) for a couple of months with one Noah Puckerman. Kurt gave up everything to be with Noah, he'd blow off a shopping day with Mercedes to have a secret rendezvous with Noah in the back of his truck in a park somewhere. He would sneak out in the middle of the night, a suicide mission if you knew his father, to meet Noah for any number of romantic shenanigans. He didn't mind giving up these things because Noah, not Puck, was sweet and romantic. He would hold Kurt's hand as they sat under a tree in a secluded are of the park. He would sing Kurt songs as he played his acoustic guitar. All sweet romantic things, but not the things he wanted.
Although Kurt knew Noah, he also knew Puck. Puck was not like Noah. Puck would push Kurt into lockers, throw him into dumpsters and call him horrible names in front of his Neanderthal, jock classmates. Puck was not sweet and romantic; he was harsh and biting and left a sore sting in Kurt's chest whenever he reminded Kurt that what they had was not worth being said. It had to be a secret. And Kurt was okay with that. Every time Puck would slam Kurt's face into a locker, Noah would kiss the bruise better and whisper broken promises of it being different tomorrow. Every time Puck would call Kurt 'fag' or 'cocksucker', Noah would then call Kurt names like 'babe' and 'honey' melting away the stony mask that Kurt would put on.
Kurt knew there was a big difference between what he wanted from Noah, what he got from Puck and what he deserved from a boyfriend. He needed someone who was willing to be what he needed all the time. He didn't need a boyfriend with a Jekyll and Hyde complex. He needed someone who was willing to hold his hand in hallways and not in closets. Every time Kurt would ask Noah to take a chance with him, that he didn't like having to deal with Puck, Noah would convince him that it was for the best and that it would only cause more problems if he was nice to Kurt at school. They would argue, yell and shout, and throw things. Noah would then apologise, whisper the same broken promises. And Kurt, being the giver, gave it all to Noah and believed him. Whilst Puck would continue to push, shove and disrespect Kurt.
One day, after a particularly hard day, Kurt met up with Noah in their usual spot in the park. Puck had made another appearance today spouting of more mean comments and ending the tirade with a shove into the nearest hard surface, in this instance the side of a desk. Kurt was already beginning to feel the bruise developing on his hip. Puck was making more and more appearances as Noah kept promising and promising that it would all change. Kurt couldn't, wouldn't believe him anymore. He was doing what he hadn't had the strength to do when he kept having everything taken from him. He was going to take his dignity, self-respect and life back. He was tired of sacrificing everything for Noah, when all he was getting was Puck.
He marched up to Noah, who was waiting by the side of his truck. He sidestepped Noah's embrace and ignored the "Come on babe," that Noah offered, and crossed his arms. "We need to talk," he said.
"Great," Noah scoffed. "Nothing good has ever come after that sentence. We're wasting valuable time together."
"We would have all the time in the world together if you would at least come out to our friends in Glee," Kurt replied.
"You know why we can't--"
Kurt cut him off, "Noah, just listen. I can't do this anymore. I cannot face another day not knowing whether or not I am going to see Puck or Noah. I don't even know who you are anymore!"
"It's me Noah. I am Noah, and I really like you, you know that! I am just not ready to let everyone else know," Noah begged.
"That's not good enough." Kurt responded. "I just can't do this anymore Noah. One minute we're fine the next we can barely stand to be in the same room together. I love you, but I can't keep pretending you aren't pulling me apart. I am becoming someone who sacrifices everything for their boyfriend, for someone who won't give an inch for every mile that I have given!"
"So you're angry. Now what?" Puck said.
"I think we should stop this. We should end it, now. I cannot keep being the person who gets less than they deserve, and I deserve a hell of a lot. And you definitely don't deserve me." Kurt then turned away from Noah, wait - Puck, not allowing the boy to respond, and walked out of the park. Leaving a stunned regretful boy in his wake.