A/N: This is rather ridiculous, but it is cannon-compatible... To a point. It is set just after Snape kills Dumbledore... This is one of my late-night, tea-fuelled, sillynesses. Hope you enjoy!
I do not own anything!
Harry drags Severus Snape into the Room of Requirement, where they see several people sitting in a duplicate of the Gryffindor Common Room. Includes: Harry Potter, Severus Snape, Albus Dumbledore, Minerva Mcgonagall.
Harry: Headmaster! May I go sneak past an insanely dangerous three-headed dog to kill a professor?
Albus: Why, yes, my dear boy, you may. Would you like a lemon drop first?
Minerva: (Ignoring all but Severus) Oh, Sevvie! Won't you dance with me at the Halloween Feast? (Bats eyelashes)I don't want your handsome leg to be bitten by the mean doggie!
Severus: Minerva! What is wrong with you? (turning to Harry) Potter! What are you talking about? Fluffy was released years ago! (spinning around to confront Albus) And You! You are dead! I killed you! (yelps as Minerva tries to kiss him) Help!
Albus: Minerva! Leave the poor man alone. Now, Harry. Ask Severus for polyjuice, so you can impersonate Crabbe and Goyle. Remember, stealing is bad, asking is good.
Severus: (Running around the room, trying to escape Minerva) POTTER! What is this craziness?
Harry: Sorry Professor, just feeling a bit nostalgic. Now, where is my godfather?
(Enters a healthy Sirius Black.)
Sirius: No fear, Harry. Serious is here! (bows) Now, why don't we go to the ministry, and push me into the veil?
Severus: Black! You are dead too! (Stops, stunned, then runs again after Minerva kisses him) Ahhhhh!
Harry: Ok! (Claps hands together brightly) Then Sev and I will steal Umbridges' blood-quill, kill you, Albus, and then resurrect Voldemort so we can do it all over again!
(Finally Severus faints with a thud. Minerva and Albus disappear. Sirius morphs into Nymphadora Tonks.)
Harry: (Smirking at the unconscious Severus.) Thanks Tonks!
Tonks: Oh, Anytime. Severus was my potions teacher too, ya know! (Hair morphs into gold and red stripes.)