The sun beat down on the residents of Post Town, who were doing their normal routine- i.e partying, sunbathing in the shade, having nose-picking contests, and using random old pokemon as piñatas.
But we don't care about them. No, we care about our protagonists, one of which is a Snivy. He probably has a mental disorder, or maybe he's genocidal. Oh, and he used to be a human, but we don't care about that.
Our second beloved character is a Tepig that's devoured one too many Pixie Stix, is probably an arsonist, and belongs in Post Town's insane asylum. But she's irrelevant for this chapter, probably.
Our third character is a Pikachu with nonexistent muscles, who raps and thinks he's famous. He's really not. Shall I list everything wrong with him? Okay, number one: HE WAS BORN. Two: HE RAPS. Did I mention his muscles?
Moving on.
The Snivy's name is Aegothis, who is totally not a self-insert. Who knows, he might end up hating the fourth wall. But here he is, waking up as a pokemon.
"Uuuugh… I knew that last chocolate bar was a bad idea…" he groaned, shielding his eyes from the sun.
"No it wasn't." the second pokemon, the Tepig, argued.
"Yes it was!" the Pikachu cheered, fistpumping and 'accidentally' hitting himself in the face. See, I told you he had problems.
The Snivy stared. The Tepig snickered and began snacking on popcorn.
The Pikachu, now sporting a black eye, raised his fist and posed heroically. "I, the great and powerful Roman, shall eliminate the intruders that fell from the sky!" and then posed another fifty times. A random troupe of paparazzi hurried up and began taking pictures. I told you he wasn't famous.
The Snivy apparently decided to go along with it and stuck his paw out to shake. "Hey. I'm Aegothis, but you can call me Ae."
Roman squinted, before screaming; "STRANGER DANGER!" and running off into a random hole in a mountain, neither of which had been there before.
Ae turned to the Tepig. "Oh look, he ran. Now we must go on an epic quest that we will most likely die on." He casually walked into the hole, dragging the wailing Fire-type.
"No! You can't take me alive! I HAVE RIGHTS!"
"You have the right to remain silent!" he retorted.
"NOO! Curse my 45 base speeds!" she wailed, before sticking a sugar-coated pacifier in her own mouth and wiggling her eyebrows stupidly. "Sup, bro. I'm Jay."
The Snivy decided not to dignify that with an answer and instead took one step and fell down three steps, tripped over a Rattata, curled into a ball, and flipped majestically into a wall, somehow finding the exit… and Roman.
"Should we help him?" the Pikachu asked, flexing his nonexistent muscles furiously. More pictures were taken.
"Naw," Jay said casually, picking up the Grass Snake. "It's too early in the story for him to die." She walked out the exit, Roman hurrying after her.
Unfortunately, a straggling sapling blocked the way across a gaping hole in between two mountains. Roman took a deep breath until his face turned blue, attempting to summon a Thunder attack. It failed.
Duh.
He passed out, leaving Jay to throw both unconscious pokemon across the gap. It failed.
Duh.
Instead, the two ended up at the beginning of the dungeon again, now revived for some stupid reason.
"I hate you!" Ae shouted up at the Tepig, shaking his fist. Roman attempted to throw him back up, using his nonexistent muscles. It failed.
Duh.
"No worries," Roman said, winking. "My fans will carry us up there."
Ten minutes later
"I hate you," Ae said as the Pikachu and Snivy were forced to traverse the dungeon by themselves.
Another couple minutes later
When the panting pokemon arrived at the top, Jay had found the time to finish three crossword puzzles (all about Roman), learn Pignite Latin and Tepigpen Code, and read Alakazam's biography. What Alakazam? I don't know.
On the way up, Roman had composed several raps, which he began to share with Ae.
The Snivy found many more things to hate, including rap.
"YOU AND ME, YOU STUPID THING!" he howled, punching the sapling. It fell over, allowing the three to cross. Don't ask how, because it's about ten feet too short.
OoO
SYOC is officially open! Send in your weirdos!