Viewer discretion is advised.
HUH!
BAD BOYS!
WHAT YOU WANT
WHAT YOU WANT
WHAT YOU GONNA DO
WHEN SHERRIFF WULONG COME FO YOU!
BAD BOYS BAD BOYS
WHAT YOU GONNA DO
WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN LEI COMES FO YOU
NOBODY NAW GIVE YOU NO BREAK
POLICE NAW GIVE YOU NO BREAK
TEKKEN FORCE NAW GIVE YOU NO BREAK
NOT EVEN HEIHACHI NAW GIVE YOU NO BREAK, HEY EYY!
BAD BOYS BAD BOYS
WHAT YOU GONNA DO
WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN LEI COMES FO YOUUUUUUUUU!
This special edition of COPS is brought to you by one extremely competent and badass man of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty, but are equally susceptible to an ass kicking and are most likely to receive one.
"I've been in law enforcement my whole life, whether I was licensed or not." Lei monologued to the camera as he drove his patrol car through the streets.
"I got into it as a young child, watching my father make a name for himself on the force. As I watched him rise through the ranks, I knew I wanted to follow in his footsteps when I grew up. My mom was always against the idea. When dad was killed in a shootout, she did everything in her power to try and stop me from studying law enforcement. Yet here I am today, rest her soul. I wonder if she's cursing me from beyond the grave. I loved her to death, but we just never saw eye to eye. She wanted me to live a peaceful life... but that's just not me, ya know? I gotta have action."
Lei was silent for a while as the camera shifted to the front windshield. There was a car in front of Lei that was swerving erratically all over the road.
"I got a driver here in front of me, going all over the place on the road here. I've been following em for a couple minutes now, and I'm gonna go ahead and stop em here at this curb..."
Lei fired up his sirens and they flashed red and blue, emitting a loud noise to indicate to the driver in front of him to stop. Thankfully they complied, as they pulled over and allowed Lei to stop his car, get out and approach the vehicle.
"International Police, keep your hands on the wheel. Keep your hands on the wheel! There you go, don't move them."
Lei approached the window and came face to face with the driver. He was a young Chinese man, wearing a beanie and a white tanktop. His eyes looked a little dark, and they were moving all over the place.
"Do you know why I pulled you over?" Lei asked the man, to which he just shook his head.
"I pulled you over because- h-hey, keep your hands on the wheel! I'm not gonna tell you again. I pulled you over because you're swerving all over the road here. I'm afraid you're gonna hurt someone.
"I'm ju..just tired, j-just tired... officer..." the man replied. His speech definitely had a bit of a slur to his.
"Can you step out of the car for me?" Lei asked politely. "Keep one hand on the wheel, and use the other hand to open your door.
The man opened his door and stepped out. As soon as he was out, Lei whipped out a flashlight and shined it in his face.
"I'm gonna need you to run a test for me. Can you recite the alphabet? Backwards, please."
The man took a deep breath as he prepared to perform what was sure to be a hard task for him.
"Z-z-z... y...s...
"Try again."
"Z...y...s..."
"One more time."
"Z...-y-y-y...s-s-x..."
The man didn't say another letter after that, he just stood there with a confused look on his face as the thought failed to come to him.
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm gonna have to arrest you for DUI."
"Wha-what the hell?! I'm not drunk!" the man slurred.
"Sir, put your hands behind your back."
"W-why? I did-di-didn't do anything!"
"Hands behind your back. Theeeeere you go."
The man finally gave in to Lei and did as instructed, as Lei slapped a pair of cuffs on him and carried him to the car. Lei opened the door and helped him inside.
"Mind your head going in."
"F*** you, pig." the man slurred in defiance as he got in.
As soon as the man was in, Lei slammed the door and got back in the car, shutting the door and driving off.
"Yeah, just another night on the town. I get at least three to five guys like this every night." he said to the camera.
For a few minutes it was actually a peaceful ride, but it wasn't long until the guy started acting up in the back. Lei's concentration was interrupted when he heard a loud thudding noise repeatedly in the back.
"I'm gonna stop and take a look back there. It sounds like he's trying to kick the door out." Lei said to the camera.
Lei stopped the car and got out, looking in the back. Sure enough, the drunken man was kangaroo kicking the door repeatedly. Lei immediately opened the door.
"HEY! Stop that right now! Stop it or I'm putting leg restraints on-H-HEY!"
The drunken man made the mistake of kicking Lei and Lei didn't tolerate that for one second. He grabbed the man and dragged him out of the car, throwing him on the ground. He reached in the front and grabbed leg restraints.
"F*** YOU! Pussy! Pussy ass bitch!" the drunken man spat as he kicked and flailed his limbs as Lei tried to get close. Every time Lei approached, the man kicked him in the legs. One kick managed to go higher, right in the balls. THAT'S when Lei had enough. Lei angrily grabbed the man and stood him up, shoving him backwards.
"HEEEEEYAAAAAAAAH!" Lei yelled as he leaped in the air and threw a spinning roundhouse which caught the belligerent drunk right on the chin, knocking him out cold. When the violent, non-compliant man was knocked out, Lei slapped the leg restraints on him and threw him back into the car. Lei angrily got back in the car and drove off.
"Damn drunken fools... he kicked me in the balls!" Lei angrily yelled to the camera. "It's not often I have to get rough with drunks like that, but he really pissed me off! Y-you're gonna edit that for tv, right?"
The camera man didn't respond; they both knew that shit was too good to edit.