STEFAN & CAROLINE 5x21 "Even in death your heart is pure Stefan. That will be your curse."

« Live or die. The most important choice. But the decision rarely belongs to us. »

When Tyler, or well more precisely Julian, had plunged his hand into Stefan's thorax, Caroline didn't imagine at all that he would remove this one, Stefan's heart in it. She stared with wide-eyed of horror, putting her hands to her mouth to suppress a cry. But yet, she didn't move. No, it couldn't be possible, Stefan couldn't be… dead. She stayed like this, without moving, not believing the idea that Julian had ripped his heart out, so that he would die.

"There... Dead doppelganger. Stops the spell."

Julian let go of his heart, like it was just a vulgar dirty he had the misfortune to hold while, by his side, Stefan moaned. The veins went out on all his face which became grey. And it's at that one precise moment, where Caroline noticed this grey color that she leaved her trance. She quickly went to the younger child of the Salvatore who had just collapsed, while she repeated "oh my god, oh my god." She bent and saw his closed eyes, his grey face, and she repeated once again "no, no, no, oh my god, no, oh my god". She hold her head, almost tearing away her hair, looking the other way by looking at the horizon, hoping that Damon would still be there, someone, who could help her. She realized only at that moment that he just died, under her eyes, in front of her, and that she was now holding what stayed of him. His physical envelope. She had wide-eyed again, shaking negatively the head "no, oh my god, no". He couldn't die, not him, not now, not… like that. Her eyes misted of tears while she kept shaking negatively her head. No, he couldn't be dead, not Stefan. She looked up a second time. Why there had to don't to have anybody to help her, to save him? Because it always was him who was there usually, who saved the others. And she rethought at what said Katherine "How do you help the guy who always helps the others?" She couldn't help him, not this time, like when she couldn't kill Tom to save him. And the worst was that she –maybe- couldn't help him anymore. Never again.

"God, please somebody help, please! Oh my god, oh my god…" she shouted, as loud as she could, to be listened, but also to evacuate this pain that she had at the bottom of her throat.

She looked Stefan again, shedding a tear, shaking her head an umpteenth time. He couldn't let her alone, she needed him, he was supposed to stay, until the end. It was obvious for her that everyone could die except him, and except Elena too. "no… no" she whispered again, refusing that he could be dead. So why was he standing in her arms like that? Why didn't he smile to her like he used to, a smile at the middle serious, at the middle joyful that she loved to see? And why did he need to die in wanting to protect her? This observation made her close her eyes, suppressing a sob of guilt, understanding just now his act. He just saved her, seeing that Julian was showing his fangs, ready to bite, he didn't hesitate to intervene, to… die. "Damn it, why the hell did you do that Stefan, you knew I could heal, why did you do that?!" she shouted mentally, holding closer Stefan against her. If only he didn't do anything, she maybe would be bitten, she would go to see Klaus, he would help her… She would survive. But not Stefan. He couldn't survive this, this was definitive.

"God, please somebody help!" She repeated it again, but her voice was much lower while she was crying, staring again and again at Stefan's closed eyes.

He seemed so peaceful at this moment, and a part of her, knowing that he probably went to see Bonnie, he probably passed through since a long time already, and see Lexi; asked herself it he was thinking of her. She asked herself if he was mad at her for being the person he died for, if he was mad at her for sacrificed himself for her. She didn't want him to be mad at her, but she didn't want him to go either. But why did she wait her?! Why didn't he run away with Damon and Elena, why?! Because he was waiting her. Why needed he to care for her? She imagined him find back Lexi and see him smile, and see Alaric, and all the people he had lost for the town. She smiled, imagining with his best-friend, having a new sob, thinking at Lexi who thanked her for "keeping an eye on this one."

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I failed…" she whispered for Lexi, knowing that this one wasn't listening to her, like nobody here.

Because this fucking town had to be desert when she needed help! She thought at Damon just now and her sob became intensified. How this one would react when he would know that his little brother, the only family he had left, was dead, dead in trying to protect Blondie? He would kill her, certainly, and this time even Elena won't defend her because she will be too sad for Stefan. He should go away, when he saw that Damon was with Elena, he should go far away, far far away from Mystic Fall, far away from Elena. Because Elena attracted all the problems, and that, even Caroline have seen it. She wanted to get her phone, call Damon, ask him to come because he would find a way. Because he did bring back Bonnie, he would always find something, especially for Stefan! But she didn't do anything, touching with her fingers more than trembling, Stefan's cheek, feeling the veins under his skin.

"I'm so, so sorry Stefan." She slowly whispered, holding him a little closer against her.

Caroline knew that he wasn't there anymore, but she couldn't let go of Stefan's body, the last thing which stayed from him. With his diaries, his uncountable diaries. The vampire would wanted to say to him that everything was going to be okay, that she will find a way to bring him back, that he will come back. But she knew that he would come back to again be a walking blood bag to the travelers, that he should always fight his dependence for blood, and a part of her whispered to herself "it' maybe what he wants" In a access of despair and of rage, she shouted again for help, shouting Damon's name. He had to come, he had to save his brother. Then the reality seems to hit her while she put her hand to her mouth, starting screaming again.

"No, no, don't do that, I beg you Stefan, no!" She shouted louder and louder, hoping deep down that it would maybe alert someone.

She kept shouting until his throat hurt her and until she missed breath, staring at Stefan with a sad face. He couldn't abandon her like that. What she didn't knew, it was that Stefan didn't abandon her. He was there, with his serious vampire look, mixed with the worried vampire look, worried for her. He was standing just next to her, seeing her hold his own body in her arms. And what hurt him the most, it wasn't imagining being without Damon, this one had his little brother for 145 years, he had enough. No, it was imagining being without her, or rather Caroline without him. She needed this person who constantly reassures her and, despite all the love he could have for Elena, this one was mostly thinking about herself; and Bonnie was going to follow him in death. Caroline will lose everything, her two best-friends (yes she repeated him "you're my friend", so he was, because she was his), and even Tyler. Not even a second he thought at the fact that he was dead in wanting to protect her, no, because it was the right thing to do for him. If only she knew he was with her. The two friends stayed like that in the dark night: Caroline, crying this man she loved more than she was pretending; and Stefan, staring to his friend desperate to lose him.

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I couldn't let the 5x21 pass and do nothing about it! When I wrote it there weren't OS on it yet! Caroline's cries just broke my heart ! Damn it Candice is good ! Hope you'll like it, you can come and cry for his death with me if you want ! MAYBE A SECOND PART. DEPENS ON 5x22!