Lydia took a deep breath. "This isn't happening, this is not real" She looked around her, everyone she knew was there, Stiles, Scott, Mr Argent, Mrs Mccall, Sheriff Stilinski, Isaac, even Derek and Peter. "Almost everyone" she took another deep breath. Not in a million years she had felt this way. Sure, she had felt dead inside before, but this was on a whole new level. It was a beautiful day, everything would have been perfect. They had almost made it. The nogitsune was gone, the oni was dead. Lydia had almost felt a little hope for a second, then she felt it. Something terribly wrong. It was like she died inside , a thousand times. As Stiles had collapsed in her arms, something else collapsed inside her. A thousand swords stabbing , twisting, and one name , the name of her best friend: Allison.
-Lydia , it's time
She felt a shiver down her spine as Stiles said her name. She knew the past few weeks had been hell for them all, but something about the way Stiles looked, the way he had spoken since her death. It made her worry. She knew he blamed himself for Allison's death. She knew this because he had been right from the beginning. "That silly comment he made, at the hospital : i always thought we had some kind of connection, unspoken of course" back then she barely knew who he was, she was different back then, so different. So much had changed so quickly. She didn't want the bad boys anymore, she was tired of hooking up with guys, she wanted something real. And now , everything Stiles felt she could feel too, and vice versa. They didn't know why, she didn't even know if he had thought about it, "Well not as much as i have"
"It's time"
She knew what that meant, she was supposed to give Allison this amazing speech. Everyone had done it , Scott had given her the most honest and heartwrenching speech ever. The words Mr Argent had said still pierced a hole inside her "She wasn't just my daughter, she was a warrior, she didn't die in vain" Stiles had stumbled across the graveyard to the open casket, he had just told her two simple words, but these words was enough to make everyone who hadn't already died inside , die a thousand times. The two words that had made everyone cry equally as much as they did during Mr Argent or Scott's speech. Two words: "i'm Sorry"
That was it, it was everything Stiles needed to say, because on the inside, no one except Lydia really knew how he felt. He was empty, guilt eating him up from the inside. She wanted to comfort him, she wanted to hold him in her arms, she wanted him to hold her in his arms, and they could just die on the inside together. But it was hard, harder than she thought it would be.
She wanted Stiles to hold her hand, she wanted him by her side when she gave her speech. Yet here she was, slowly walking alone against the open casket where the body of her best friend rested. "Best friend wasn't enough, even sister wasn't enough" As she got closer the emptiness inside started to grow stronger. She suddenly came to a stop. Lydia looked down, and there she was. The beautiful new girl, the love of Scott's life, the daughter Melissa Mcall never had, Mr Argent's daughter. "No, this isn't real" She looked up and looked around. Stiles was staring at her with worry in his eyes, Mr Argent was looking firmly at her, Melissa nodded once and gave her a half smile. Then her eyes fell over Scott. He was the only one not looking at her, he was looking through her. His eyes were empty, no tears, no sorrow. It's like he wasn't even there.
She reached for the small microphone on the side table next to the casket. For a moment she thought "I can do this" And for a second she really believed it. She put the microphone to her lips, but the words that came out was not her own:
-I can't do this, I'm sorry.
She put the microphone down, then felt the judging eyes of the citizens of Beacon Hills as she walked back to where she had stood before. The walk from the casket to the place where she had stood felt like hours, when in reality it took seconds. Everything was quiet for a while then a song played. Lydia didn't even remember which one . The rest of the day was in flashbacks. She remember sitting in Scott's car, then black, she remember Stiles holding her hand in Scott's living room ,Then black.
It wasn't until evening arrived and Scott, Isaac, Lydia and Stiles was gathered all together in Scott's room that she felt something. "Not something, someone" This was the way she always felt when she communicated with the dead. But this time it was different. She heard her own name, someone calling it. A tender whisper: Lydia. She turned around and had to keep herself from screaming. Behind her was Allison.
-it's alright Lydia, I'm just here to say a few words to you all.
Her voice was tender and she spoke so quietly it was almost a whisper.
-Allison, is it really you.
Lydia didn't realize she had said it out loud until Scott froze. He always did this whenever her name came up in a conversation. He froze for a second then sighed and sat down next to her on the bed. Everyone was quiet and didn't seem to care that Lydia had just said Allison's name out loud. Nobody was paying any attention to her, they paid more attention to Scott's window. Everyone was staring at the window, everyone except Stiles. He was looking at her with his beautiful caring eyes. She didn't have to say anything, he knew what was going on. Before Lydia could think about anything else Allison spoke again, this time from her left.
-Lydia please, you have to make them listen to you, i know you can, i just want to say a few words, please.
-Okay. was all she answered.
-Okay what?
This was the first time Stiles had spoken since the funeral, and now she noticed everyone's eyes was pierced at her.
-Allison is here, she's with us, and she wishes to say a few words.
Scott suddenly rose from the bed and stared around him.
-Scott, you can't see her, only i can.
Scott didn't listen, he kept staring around the room and then he started screaming
-Allison! Allison!
-Scott please calm down, Lydia begged.
-Allison, can you hear me? Allison!
Finally Stiles had enough, he jumped out of the bed and dragged Scott back and pushed him down on it. Then Allison spoke again
-Lydia, she began and now she had tears in her eyes, Tell Scott that i love him, tell him that i want him to be happy, i want him to find happiness again no matter how long it takes.
Lydia turned around to Scott and started retelling the words Allison just had spoken. She saw that Scott fighted hard to keep the tears from coming, but then he simply said
-I love you Allison , don't you ever forget that.
The room went quiet for a few minutes then Allison spoke again, this time she wanted Lydia to speak to Stiles.
-Stiles, stop blaming yourself, this wasn't your fault, don't you for a second believe that this was your fault, you were one of the best guy friends i have ever had, and please for the love of god, she added with a little giggle, tell Lydia you love her, don't hold it back anymore.
Lydia couldn't help but to blush when she had said that last sentence to Stiles. Stiles didn't say anything, he just looked at her for a second and blushed. Allison spoke again.
-Lydia , can you please tell Isaac that even if i didn't know him for a long time, he was one of the bravest guys i've ever met
Lydia turned to Isaac , she said the words Allison had just said and Isaac smiled. The room once again went totally quiet for a while , and the 4 teenagers just sat there on Scott's bed , staring in silence. Then she spoke again.
-Lydia, this time i am talking to you, you were more than a sister to me, don't blame yourself, go after Stiles, be happy, please, that is all i want. I love you guys so much.
I will
-I love you too Allison, she looked around at the faces around her, we all do.
Then Allison vanished and all they did was hugging each other , smiling, and at last, falling asleep.
Because now Lydia knew, that when tomorrow came, she wouldn't face it alone, she had them. She didn't feel so empty anymore.
And as for Allison, she would live on, in their hearts, forever.
