A/N: Thank you for checking out 'Into Heaven We Gazed'. This story has been a long labour of love, and I'd be so grateful if you could take the time to leave a review. The story is fully written, and I will add updates here twice weekly, on Tuesdays and Fridays. Hope you enjoy!

Cover illustration by the super talented giuliablackcat - check her out on Instagram.

CHAPTER 1

He could walk for miles. On and on, feet pounding furiously at the pavement beneath him. In this drunken stupor, he could walk forever.

Usui Horokeu was twenty-four years old, and carried the world on his young shoulders. Despite his age, he was weary of his existence. He had no desire to die – he had grown tired of that idea a long time ago. Now all he had left was a desire to escape. That was why, more often than not, he was to be found drowning his sorrows in a bar somewhere in the bustling city, and then walking to its outskirts to stumble through its forgotten streets.

And that was the very place he was to be found at this moment, walking at a fury-fired pace through an old industrial estate, a ruin of the modern world. The sun was waning to the chill of the twilight glow, making the buildings around him seem like huge skeletons, looming over the dirt track on which he walked. Some of the buildings had windows punched out, the gaping spaces where they once were akin to deep-set eyes, focusing upon this lone figure that travelled, a little unsteadily, in their midst. Occasionally, the exhausted remains of a truck appeared on the horizon, large and somewhat terrifying. Like a creature from a nightmare, bruised and rotting slowly, it materialised on the edge of his wavering vision. These inanimate entities were the only things around. Even the rats stayed out of this place, with no obvious food source to draw them there. And so the wind was left to rattle ominously through the hollow shells of the factories and office buildings that once stood here, now looking even more repugnant than when they were first built.

What Horo really wanted was nature. He wanted to be surrounded by untamed forests, or deep fields of wildflowers, with the smoky smell of autumn embracing him like an old friend. He took a deep breath, eyes closed, half expecting to be able to catch that scent on the wind. Instead, all he got was a mouthful of stale, pollution-ridden air that made him choke and splutter. No matter how far he walked, he would never reach the countryside. At least, that was how he felt. He lived so far into the city, almost every spindly little tree around him had been planted by humans. There was nothing natural, nothing fresh.

Horo never drank himself to the point where he couldn't control his own actions. What he sought was the ability to lose his sense of awareness, to lose himself in the desolate places that he wandered to. As he looked around, he realised that he had achieved just that; he had lost reason and with it, the ability to choose. Though the landscape was similar here from beginning to end, like a copy-and-paste of the same monstrous buildings, there was a certain sense of peace in this spot that he knew he had never found before. He halted dead in his tracks for a moment, and drank in the feeling. The old factory he stood before was not remarkable in any way, sitting in the same dreary state as all the others nearby. But there was something about where he stood, a sensation that felt as though it would be lost should he take another step in either direction. It was a feeling of emptiness, nothing more. A feeling of... nothing. Horo squeezed his fingers tightly into his palms and closed his eyes. Yes, this was the feeling he craved. Nothing to think, nothing to feel.

As Horo stood, facing this building, breathing in deeply as though he were trying to inhale the whole experience, he slowly became aware of something else, something more acute. A voice.

It was gentle and unwavering. It was singing. Horo's eyebrows knitted together in confusion as he opened his eyes and glanced around himself. There was certainly nobody around him, probably not for at least a few miles in any direction. And yet... there was definitely someone singing. As Horo listened, he became all the more sure of the fact. Focusing on the calming melody, it became apparent that what he could hear was a church hymn.

For a brief moment, he was transported to the rural parish of his childhood, where his parents had sung praises routinely every Sunday, where his four-year old heart had barely been able to comprehend the 'glory of God'...

Almost subconsciously, he took two steps forward. The singing seemed to get louder. The voice was, oddly enough, coming from inside the old factory right in front of him. The prospect of this drew Horo even closer, the door of the wretched building firmly in his sights. The voice reverberated in his ear drums, pitch-perfect and almost soothing. A great desire to find the source of that wonderful sound gripped him. He reached out to the handle of the door. The entrance was as normal as it could be, which somehow made it all the more strange. It looked considerably fresher than the rest of the rickety old structure. Horo pulled down on the handle, and suddenly, the words of the hymn became clear.

"While I draw this fleeting breath, when my eyelids close in death..."

The voice continued on, unfaltering, as Horo stepped into a vast room he didn't think the building capable of holding. Around the edges of this space were relics from when the building was once used for industry; old crates and dusty boxes, gathered in tall piles that dominated the walls and blocked the view of the lower windows. The higher, second-storey windows were all that was left to let in the dim dusk light. He could see right up to them, through the ceiling that had crumbled away, up into the neglected old roof. His eyes finally came to settle in the centre of the room. Somehow, what he saw, he almost expected. An assembly of mismatched church pews, styles and designs abundant, were gathered together and laid out in neat lines. All of them faced what appeared to be an altar, consisting of a statue raised on a structure of low-lying crates. He couldn't tell what the statue was from a distance. The only way to see it was to get closer.

"When I soar through tracts unknown, see thee on thy judgement throne..."

As Horo took a step, he was reminded of that haunting voice. The melody of the song was endearingly doleful. Horo felt his heart beat firmly against his chest, as though it were demanding to understand what the sound was. The song crashed over him like a wave, and urged him closer to the peculiar scene in the middle of the room. It was then that Horo cast his eyes upon a slender male figure, crouched at the altar's base.

"Rock of ages, cleft for me, let me hide myself in thee."

Horo let the last note of the song ring out and echo around him in all its perfection, before stopping just before the first of the pews and calling out gently, "Hello?"

The person at the altar stood and whipped around. It was a young man, with violet hair and cat-like eyes. He was small and frail-looking, wearing nothing more than a short cotton shift. Most notably, he was holding a knife. His right hand shook violently as he jabbed the weapon in Horo's direction.

Horo flinched at the sight of the blade, belatedly. The alcohol in his bloodstream was stifling his reactions.

"Who are you?" the young man demanded, in a tone more threatening than he seemed capable of.

"I'm nobody, really!" He threw up his hands in the air as a sign of peace. The stranger already seemed a hairsbreadth away from snapping. He didn't want to be the one that caused him to flip. "I just came in here because I heard the singing. I'm sorry!"

"You're not here to stop me?"

"Stop you from what?"

The stranger didn't respond. Slowly, he turned his back, and Horo saw the knife twist in his hands. For the first time, Horo saw the cuts on the skin of his forearm. The blade was now poised in line with the young man's stomach. One sharp thrust and it would…

"Oh, hey! Wait!" Horo dashed forward a few steps, without much prior thought. "Why are you doing that?"

The stranger didn't turn around. "He needs to die. There's nothing I can do."

A quick scan of the room told Horo there was no one else nearby. He was obviously referring to himself.

"Now listen to me, whatever you think you've done wrong, whatever's happened, this doesn't have to be the solution, you hear me?"

The knife drifted; he was hesitating. "And what is the solution?"

"I honestly don't know," Horo admitted. The knife wandered closer. "But! If you come here and talk to me… just put down the knife, and we'll talk. If I know a bit more, I can help you." He doubted the weight of his own words, but he had to say something, anything, to get that knife out of his hands. He would figure the rest out later.

"Help… me?" The young man seemed to find that almost amusing, a tight smile on his face when he turned around. "It's not me that needs help, it's-"

Without warning, the stranger's body crumpled beneath him. He fell to his knees with a cry of pain. The knife clattered to the dirt floor.

Horo panicked. He rushed forwards, tripping over his own feet in a clumsy stupor to reach the young man's side. He was doubled-over and clutching desperately at his sides, tears brimming in his darkly-circled eyes. Horo fell to his knees beside him with worry.

"Are you okay?"

The stranger spluttered with tears, in a voice that was far more emotional now. "It hurts..."

"What does?" Horo reached out to place his hands on the young man's frail shoulders, desperate to get a better look at him. "Hey, let me see you, I-"

"No!" The stranger screamed and flailed his arms out wildly, batting Horo's hands away. "Don't touch me! Please, don't..." He collapsed back into position, tears rolling down his sunken cheeks.

Horo shot back, alarmed by the sudden reaction. "Okay, okay! I won't." His mind was at once overwhelmed. He cast his eyes over the stranger as he considered what to do. In addition to the fresh wounds on his forearms, Horo noticed countless small scratches and bruises all over his body. Some of them looked alarmingly similar to fingernail tracks.

Horo shook himself, trying to bring himself out of the haze that the alcohol had left him in. He needed to think straight. "Listen, you need my help. What's your name?"

The young man bent over even further, his nose almost touching the cold dirt floor. He was shaking violently. "M-My name? My name is... Ren."

"Okay, Ren. I'm Horo. I'm here to help you. We're going to get you to a hospital or something, you can't carry on like this."

"N-No. I'm not going anywhere. I-I'm staying here."

"What do you mean? You're obviously not well. Don't worry, I won't hurt you, just let me..." Horo reached out gently to take one of Ren's fragile hands in his.

Ren snatched it away as though Horo's touch were pure fire. His tears came faster. "I said don't touch me! Please, just leave me b-be..."

Horo withdrew his hand, his mind working over-time. "Can you stand?"

Ren's body twitched as though he was trying to get to his feet, but he didn't move an inch from the ground. The effort seemed too much, and his breathing quickened. Horo reached out once more to steady him. This time, Ren didn't resist. Horo watched his chest heaving, and his eyelids drooping. Horo just managed to catch him as he passed out cold.

Without a second thought or even a moment to consider, Horo got to his feet, the broken stranger still in his arms. Though he had tensed his muscles to brace the weight of the body, he soon found it was unnecessary. Ren's form was so slight, he barely weighed more than a large house cat. As Horo stood there, alone in this foreboding sanctuary, he gazed upon the still face of the young man in his arms. Even in this unexpected slumber, he still didn't seem to be at ease.

Something was very wrong with this stranger, that would make him so very weary and cause him to do such harm to himself. At the moment, Horo couldn't bear to comprehend what his troubles could be. All he knew was his desire to help. And so, though his head was pounding and his heart sang out with worry, Horo grasped Ren close and began the long walk back into the city.

A/N: IHWG has a soundtrack that has influenced the story quite heavily. Check these author's notes for a track list as we go! First up, it's 'Sober' by Tool.

The hymn Ren was singing is 'Rock of Ages' by A.M. Toplady.